爸爸的好儿子（2012）

We can't let tonight end like this, boys.
我们要走了
We got to go out.
我告诉你们
I'm telling you,
我不能让我儿子的...
I can't let my son have a...
我好兄弟单身派对搞成这样子
My son of a gun best friend have his bachelor party be this.
尼玛的 你们还在脸上涂满妖精屎
You fucking... You guys got your face covered in leprechaun shit.
我们现在应该在打飞机
We should be getting whacked off,
我们都应该 作为一支乱搞队
all of us, as a fucking team!
东尼 我认为今晚已经足够刺♥激♥了
Donny, I think we've had enough excitement for one night.
而且 这么晚了
Besides, it's not like you can throw
你去哪再搞一个派对呢
together a whole other party this late.
我可以找到六个妞在我们大腿上跳舞
I could have six chicks making out with each other on our laps
给我十分钟就好
in 10 minutes.
我可以晚点回家
I could stay out a little later.
好波!
Bam!
我们要去让人吹♥喇♥叭♥了
We gonna get our dicks sucked.
那就去吧
There it is.
除非 雷文德夫人
Unless, Mrs. Ravensdale,
你让她们露一下奶♥子♥?
you want to whip them knockers out?
我们会很乐意看的
We'd love to see them.
够了 你知道吗
All right, you know what?
你愚蠢 幼稚 固执 又傻冒
You are an imbecilic, immature, asinine, childish,
原始人 长毛怪 单细胞生物
caveman-like, hairy-knuckled, single-chromosomal,
讨厌鬼 没教养 无知的混♥蛋♥
obnoxious, uneducated, ignorant asshole
我就愿意跟这种人猛搞!
who I would like to fuck hard and long!
那我先去和她搞一下
So, I'm going to go put a dent in that.
你们去把那些绿精♥液♥弄掉
You guys get that green jizz off your face.
我二十分钟以后回来
I'll be back in 20.
我们要出去玩了 小伙子们!
We're going out, boys!
嘿 这里就是天堂 这地方
Hey, this is the shit, this place, I'm telling you.
最火♥辣♥的妞 最好吃的丹佛蛋卷
The hottest chicks, the best Denver omelets.
- 你们绝对要试一下 - 好的
- You have to eat one. - All right.
- 东尼! - 这就是我和你们说的美女
- Donny! - Yeah, this is who I was telling you about!
最近怎样? 给我个拥抱
What's up? Give me that.
见到你太开心了
I'm so happy to see you.
你特么太美了!
You look so fucking cute!
我就知道
I know, right?
你带了个兵哥哥
And you brought a military man.
士兵 你叫什么名字?
What's your name, soldier?
查得·马丁 美国的海军陆战队一等兵
Chad Martin, private first class,United States Marine Corps.
你觉得你可以让老二硬俩小时不?
You think you can keep that dick at attention for a couple hours?
这是命令!
That's an order!
命令执行中了
Already on it.
看看我兄弟
Look at my man!
让我来做个自我介绍
You guys, let me get in here and introduce myself.
你好 我是菲尔 已婚 有四个孩子了
Hello. I'm Phil.I'm married with four children,
事实上 这辈子我就只看过三个女人的下面
and I have actually only seen three vaginas in my entire life:
我老婆的 我小孩的
my wife's, my baby's
还有一次双人单车后面不小心看到我阿姨的
and my aunt's once by accident on the back of a tandem bike.
好吧 这就是第四个!宝贝!
Well, here's number four, baby!
我要把这个当做是好几个了
I'm going to count that as numbers four and five.
香佩现在这支舞
Champale would like to dedicate this
献给托德·彼得森先生
to Mr. Todd Peterson.
这是你的
Here you go.
要来点蛋卷不?
Do you want any eggs?
不用了 我对食物很小心
No. I really have to watch what I eat.
不能吃油腻的 不过还是谢谢你
No fatty foods. But thank you.
我是布莉
I'm Brie.
我是托德 很高兴认识你
I'm Todd. Nice to meet you.
我知道你是谁 汉·索罗
I know who you are, Han Solo.
别 你不能...
No, you can't...
别担心 我会守秘密的
Don't worry, your secret's safe.
谁干的?
Who did that?
- 杰罗 上车 - 爱死你了 东尼!
- Gerald, get in the car.- I love you, Donny!
我也爱你 快上去
Yeah, I love you. Get in there.
天 你得给我那食谱 天啊
Man, you got to give me the recipe, man.
这不卖♥♥的 斯皮尤
Can't buy everything, Spirou!
兄弟 但他们用的橄榄油 没用黄油
Bro, but they use olive oil, not butter.
这就是秘诀
That's the big secret.
行了 克里斯 弄他进去
Okay, Chris, get him in there.
温柔点 他可是要保卫祖国的
Be gentle, he's protecting our country.
好了 大家晚安啦!
All right, good night, guys!
杰罗 你真变♥态♥ 兄弟
Gerald, you're a sick man, buddy!
嘿 什...大家去哪了?
Hey, what... Where's everybody going?
我送他们回家了
I sent them home, guy.
我们该有点新郎伴郎独处时间
I thought we could have a little best man/groom alone time.
但我不是该和他们回去吗?
But shouldn't I go with them?
因为洁米会对我发脾气的
'Cause Jamie's gonna get mad at me.
放轻松啦 伙计
Easy,guy.
结婚以后 她有的是时间
You're gonna have plenty of time for
对你发脾气了
her to be mad at you when you're married.
我要送你结婚礼物
I got you a wedding gift,
而且我想单独给你 好吗?
and I want to give it to you alone, all right?
你要送我礼物?
You got me a gift?
当然要送你的
Of course I got you.
而且我觉得你会喜欢的
And I think you might dig it.
一个耳饰
An earring.
是啊 但这是当年你妈给我的
Yeah, I know, but that's an earring that your mom gave me,
我想把它留在这家里 你懂我意思?
and I thought maybe we could keep it in the family, you know?
让它传下去 一代传一代
Just kind of keep it going, generation to generation, actually.
好的 但是我没耳洞 东尼
Yeah, but I don't have a pierced ear, Donny.
是的
Yeah.
不是吧
No.
没错
Yeah.
好吧 卧♥槽♥ 卧♥槽♥
All right, fuck it, fuck it.
好吧 你来吧
Do it, just do it.
不会痛的 兄弟
It's not gonna hurt, buddy.
就痛一小下
You got a nice buzz going.
好的 知道了 知道了
Yeah, I got it, I got it.
等等
Hang on.
消下毒先
Liquor it up.
卧♥槽♥!
Fuck!
来吧 来吧
Come here. Come here.
坚持住!继续 别动!
Hang in there! Go ahead, just sit still, homie.
怎么样?
How we doing?
天呐
Oh, God.
这就对了 这才是真汉子
That's it. That's the way to man up.
好像还不坏
That wasn't so bad.
让我看看
Let me see it.
我流血没?
Am I bleeding?
- 没流 - 真的?
- I don't think so. - No?
看起来怎么样?
Does it look good?
你看起来还可以去给外国人打鼓演奏
You look like you could be playing drums for Foreigner or some shit.
你看起来就像个浑球
You look like a bad-ass.
- 真的吗? - 真的
- Really? - Yeah.
这让我感觉到有点...
'Cause it makes me feel kind of...
危险
Dangerous.
他终于回来了 天!
There he is, man!
这性格才是你 你七岁时就是那样的
That's your personality, like when you were seven years old,
我和香草叔叔那时候都笑翻了
me and Uncle Vanny used to laugh our asses off from you.
香草叔叔 对了
Uncle Vanny, that's right.
他怎么了?
What happened to that guy?
兄弟 你知道现在该干嘛吗?
Dude, you know what it's time for?
我们三人帮去回忆下老时光
To get you back together with the old gang.
来啦
Come on.
我只希望他还愿意和我说话
I just hope the guy will talk to me.
菲尔!
Phil!
拜托 你会被捕的 兄弟
Come on, you're gonna get arrested, buddy.
我不该这么做的
I shouldn't be doing this.
别 别停 别停
No, don't stop, don't stop.
好吧 我来是想说我真的很抱歉