抓人游戏

Chilli with a beautiful roundhouse kick.
但是奇力辩称在卡拉翰踢他的时候
But in Chilli's defense, when Callahan kicked him...
他把屎拉裤子里了
He shit in his pants!
这样的事从来没有发生过
Yeah, okay, that never happened.
其实这是个好机会
And it's nice to actually
可以直接解释清楚这件事
get an opportunity to address it directly.
当然 我洗耳恭听
By all means. I'm all ears.
我当时出了很多汗 天气很暖和了
I mean, I was very sweaty. It was warm out.
又拿出汗说事 他已经这样狡辩很多年了
The sweaty ass defense? He's been banging that drum for years.
没记错的话 那是史上最热的十月 你可以查查
Hottest October on record, if I recall. Look it up.
《华尔街日报》有事实核查员
Wall Street Journal, you have fact checkers
核实这种具体情况吧
for this exact scenario, right?
没错
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
你们在核实的时候 能不能让事实核查员调查一下
While you're at it, can you have the fact checkers look into
《莫里·波维奇秀》是不是演的 因为感觉是
if The Maury Povich Show is staged? 'Cause it feels staged,
不过他发誓不是演出来的
but he swears it's not staged.
但是他们每次都做同样的事
But they do the exact same thing every time.
什么
What?
赛博尔 我知道杰瑞会在什么地方 拍我一下
Sable, I know where Jerry's gonna be. I need the tag.
好吧
Okay.
没错 刚刚拿到礼服
Yeah. Just picked up the tux.
好的 一会儿见 宝贝
All right, see you soon, babe.
罗博 你好吗 很高兴见到你
Hey, Rob, how're you doing, bud? Good to see you.
我也是 伙计
You, too, man.
你好 女士
Gloria, ma'am.
我的气球
My balloon!
这肯定是你的 小家伙
Hey, this must be yours, buddy.
谢谢 先生
Thanks, mister.
瞧瞧 你要吃完一整个吗
Oh, look at that. You gonna eat that whole thing?
你知道吗 你应该考虑换一种零食
You know what? You should consider some alternative snacks.
保持健康体魄 小家伙
Keeping fitness fun, buddy.
等等 女士
Oh. Excuse me, ma'am.
你掉了...
You dropped your...
男士运动交叉系带鞋
Men's athletic crossover-style boot,
9.5码
size nine and a half.
说明这个人既不时髦
Suggests a man that is neither fashionable
又不运动
nor athletic.
霍吉
Hoagie.
霍吉不知道
Little does Hoagie know
我这六年来
I've been teaching a
一直在女子自卫训练营教学
women's self-defense boot camp for six years.
自卫入门第一课
First defense 101.
开始上课
Class is in session.
见鬼
Holy shit!
-你输了 霍吉 -永远不会
- You're done, Hoagie. - Never!
你输了
You're done.
永远不会
Never!
好吧 我输了
All right, I'm done.
不过你看起来很美 兄弟
Dude, you look amazing, by the way.
你的抓人水平真的提高了
You've really upped your game!
你怎么知道我会在这里
How'd you know I was gonna be here?
没想到吧
Aha! Surprised you, right?
我们昨晚闯进你家的时候
I saw the pick-up ticket for your tailor
我看到了你的成衣取货票
when we broke into your house the other night.
厉害啊
Impressive.
我要拿下你 杰瑞
I'm taking you down, Jerry.
我们都知道这不可能发生的
Well, we both know that's never gonna happen.
抱歉 抱歉 借过一下 抱歉
Excuse me. Excuse me. Coming through. Excuse me.
天啊 保安来了
Oh, boy. Cavalry's coming in.
杰瑞
Hey, Jerry.
这位老妇人骚扰你了吗
This old lady bothering you?
我没事 马文 谢谢了 一切都好
I'm good, Marvin. Thanks, man. Everything's all right.
这是我的一个朋友
It's just a friend of mine.
很高兴见到你 看起来不错 兄弟
Hey, it's good to see you. Looking good, brother.
-老兄 -保持体型
- My man. - Yeah, staying in shape.
这他妈怎么回事
What the fuck?
好吧 也许我会叫警♥察♥
All right, well, maybe I'll call the police. All right?
这是人身攻击 你想因此去蹲监狱吗
This is assault. You willing to go to jail for this?
你说得没错 我真想
Oh, you're goddamn right, I am.
也许我会搞点大事出来 然后也被抓进去
Okay, then maybe I will cause a big scene and get arrested also.
到时候 我们都在监狱 我就可以...
Then, once we both get to jail, I'll just...
什么 贿赂狱警吗
What? Bribe a guard?
跟我一个牢房♥ 是的
Be put in my cell? Yeah,
我知道你会这么说 这很明显
I figured you'd say that. It's pretty obvious.
霍吉 你得意识到那会花很长时间
Hoag, you have to realize that's gonna take hours,
那个时候
during which time
我会把牙刷改造成剃刀
I'll have fashioned a shiv from my toothbrush
用它来谋杀我的同牢狱友
and used it to murder my cellmate.
你用剃刀谋杀同牢狱友吗
You'd just shiv your cellmate?
别担心 他是个干过坏事的坏人
Don't worry. He's a bad person who's done terrible things,
正义得以伸张
so justice is served.
好吧
Okay.
这样我会被单独监禁 这是我想要的
It gets me thrown in solitary confinement, which is what I want.
够不着 完全抓不到
Out of reach. Completely untaggable.
该死 你已经都考虑过了
Damn, you have thought this through.
很棒吧
Pretty good, right?
听着 霍吉 你要明白两点
Look, understand two things, Hoagie.
首先 你没法破坏我的婚礼
First, you're not gonna screw up this wedding. Okay?
第二 我永远不会让你抓到我
And secondly, I will never let you tag me.
这在你死之前永远不会发生
You're gonna die before that ever happens.
你明白吗
You understand that, right?
我不怕死 杰瑞 在我死之前 我也永远
I don't fear death, Jerry. And I'm not gonna give this up
不会放弃
till I die.
好吧 祝你好运
Okay. Good luck.
彩排再见 杰瑞
See you at the rehearsal, Jerry.
这些炸玉米球真好吃
Mmm! These hushpuppies are insane.
听着
All right, listen.
还有34分钟
T-minus 34 minutes until this
彩排晚宴就结束了 抓捕杰瑞的游戏就开始了
rehearsal dinner is over, and Jerry's fair game.
我们有四个人 这里有四个出口
There's four of us. There's four exits.
我们分散开堵住这个狡猾的家伙
Let's fan out and trap this rat.
好吗 对一下手表
Okay? Synchronize your watches.
-我不知道怎么弄 -我不带手表
- I don't know how to do that. - I don't wear a watch.
时间是一种概念
Time is a construct.
好吧 五点
Okay, uh, 5:00.
应该开始就直接说
Could have said that at the beginning.
现在说了
Well, we said it now.
-五点 这有多难 -五点 很容易
- 5:00, how hard is that? - 5:00, yeah, it's easy.
-伙计们 你们好吗 -你好吗
- Hi, guys. How are you? - How are you?
那晚真的很抱歉...
Sorry about the other night. That wasn't...
-没事 -那不是很好
- Oh! - Yeah, that wasn't cool.
不 听着 我知道不仅仅是你们的原因
No. I mean, listen, I know it's not just you guys.
杰瑞比你们更过分
I mean, Jerry's worse than all of you.
他求胜心太强了
He's very competitive.
我们小的时候有一次比赛
When we were kids, we had a contest
看谁能在水下憋气最长时间
to see who could hold their breath for the longest underwater.
他差点憋死
He almost died.
他赢了 但代价是什么
He won, but at what cost? Really?
我希望他做父亲也能这么厉害
Oh, I hope he's this competitive when it comes to being a father.
你怀孕了吗
Are you pregnant?
-真的吗 -对 所以我才喝没酒精的鸡尾酒
- Really? - Yeah, that's why the Shirley Temple.
-天啊 -我知道
- Oh, my gosh! - I know.
-干杯 -恭喜 太棒了
- Here, cheers! - Congratulations, that's great!
-干杯 谢谢 -天啊
- Cheers, thank you! - Oh, my gosh!
-真是好消息 -谢谢 没错
- That's such good news. - Thank you. Yeah.
-我们没有跟很多人说 -这样啊
- We're not telling that many people. - Okay.
听着 我知道接下来几天
Listen, I know it's gonna get a little wacky
有你们几个在一定会很闹
over the next couple of days with you guys.
-当然 -好吧
- Sure the fuck is, yeah. - Okay.
别太过就好
Just don't go too far
出去打高尔夫吧 很好玩 做点好玩的事