抓人游戏

Oops, I missed.
一如往常 你大错特错了
As usual, you're completely wrong.
这个吗 你说我错了 明明演得太过了
This? You think I'm wrong? This is so over the top!
太明显了
This is obvious.
拍我一下 我去给他一个拥抱
Tag me, and I'll give him a hug.
我会说"如果她流产了
And I'll say, "If she's having a miscarriage,
那就太不幸了 轮到你了"
"This is awful, and you're it."
你现在是在逗我吗
Are you kidding me right now?
知道吗 这感觉像是《你会怎么做》里安排的场景
You know what? This feels like a scene from What Would You Do?
你被置于一个模棱两可的处境中
You get put in a precarious situation,
你必须做出正确的决定
and you have to make the right decision.
四周都是演员和摄像头
It's all actors and cameras.
不算是什么厉害的节目 但是我很爱看
It's not great television, but it hooks me in.
什么
What?
来
Come on.
我们没事 我们现在去医院
All right, we're good. We're gonna get to the hospital.
老天 杰瑞 杰瑞 你需要帮忙的话我可以就...
Jesus. Hey! Jerry? Jerry, if you need anything I could easily...
你再靠近她或我的孩子
You come near her or my baby,
我就折断你的气管 鲍勃
I'll crush your windpipe, Bob.
这不是什么游戏
This ain't no fucking game.
我很确定那是真的 大伙儿
I'm pretty sure it's real, guys.
如果她不是真流产 那我会气死的
I will be so pissed if she didn't have a miscarriage.
奇力
Chilli!
我们都一样
We all would be.
-但是不能 -说出来
- It's just a thing you don't... - Say.
只能暗暗地想
It's implied.
琳达 你好
Hey, Linda. Namaste.
你们几个小伙子不该收拾收拾去参加婚礼吗
Shouldn't you boys be getting cleaned up for the wedding?
没说你 奇力 你帅呆了
Not you, Chilli. You're perfect.
谢谢你 琳达
Thanks, Linda.
我觉得没人需要收拾打扮了
I don't think anybody's gonna be freshening up.
霍吉 你不能这个样子去参加婚礼
Hoagie, you can't go looking like that.
"致所有问候的朋友 婚礼推迟了
"To everyone asking, the wedding has been postponed.
感谢你们的关怀与祈祷"
"Thank you for your thoughts and prayers."
杰瑞的妈妈发来的
It's from Jerry's mom.
-也许我们是坏人 -也许
- Well, maybe we're bad people. - Maybe?
对 我觉得我们就是坏人
Yes, I think we definitely are.
也许吧
We might be.
抓人游戏过去让我那么开心
Tag used to be a thing that made me really happy.
可是现在 都毁了 我感觉很难过
But now, it's destroying me. I feel sad.
闭嘴 赛博尔
Shut the fuck up, Sable.
有人看到伴娘的图享故事了吗
Has anyone seen the bridesmaids' Instagram stories?
看看
Check it out.
"婚礼取消了" 哭哭脸表情
"Wedding's canceled." Sad face emoji.
"我不能穿伴娘裙了 那么漂亮的裙子
"I can't wear the dress. Such a pretty dress.
好难过" 再见表情 "太让人..."
"So sad." Goodbye emoji. "Was it a..."
真的吗 这些女人
Really? Is there any
怎么可能在同一时间 一条接一条地
chance that all these women could post banal,
发着无聊的状态
minute-by-minute moments from their day,
还配上无聊透顶的标题
with mind-numbing captions at the same time?
-当然有可能 -当然了 这个网站就是干这个的
- Totally. - Absolutely. That's all Instagram is.
-对 -我说不好 伙计们
- Yeah. - I don't know about this, guys.
感觉不对 我感到一丝可疑
It doesn't feel right. I smell a rat.
我之前说的就是这个意思
That's what I've been saying.
我一直在说
I have been actually saying this the whole time.
亲爱的 放下吧 都结束了
Hey, sweetheart, can we just move on? It's over.
没有结束 大家打起精神
But it's not. Now, come on, guys.
我要查到底
I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.
-鲍勃 -干嘛
- Bob. - What'd I do?
我能给你拍张照吗
Can I take a photograph of you?
不行 好吧
No. Okay.
表情不错
Cute.
我给你注册个图享账号♥
I'm gonna set up an Instagram account for you.
别啊
Please don't.
伴娘里只有瑞秋·迪特姆斯的
Rachel Ditmus is the only
图享账号♥是好友可见的
bridesmaid with a private Instagram account.
她从六年级开始就想要你给她指交了
She's been wanting you to finger bang her since the sixth grade.
要是谁会蠢到接受我们的好友申请
If anybody's stupid enough to fall for our request,
那就是这个小笨蛋了
it will be that dum-dum.
发送申请 等着就完事儿了
And sent. All we've got to do now is wait.
申请通过了
And accepted!
-真的吗 -这快得令人怀疑
- Really? - That was weirdly fast.
别去给她指交
Do not finger bang her.
我 的 天 我说对了
Oh, my, God. I was right.
-什么 什么东西 -这是什么
- What? What are we looking at here? - What the hell is this?
婚纱
A wedding dress.
什么鬼
What the fuck?
流产事件是他们装的
They faked the fucking miscarriage!
不不不 杰瑞完蛋了 我们要毁掉他的婚礼
No, no, no. Jerry's going down. We're gonna destroy that wedding.
-走吧 -见鬼了 太过分了
- Let's go! - This is bullshit. That is so fucked up.
没错
Absolutely.
霍吉
Hoagie?
霍吉 你在干嘛
Hoagie, what are you doing?
该死的
Damn it!
-亲爱的 -霍吉
- Sweetie. - Hoagie?
小心点
Be careful.
我们要拦住他吗 还是...
Should we stop him, or...
我才不要接近他 他在乱挥球棒
I'm not getting near him. He's swinging that bat around.
-亲爱的 那是你♥妈♥的♥东西 -你会弄伤自己的
- Sweetie, that's your mom's. - Yeah, you're gonna hurt yourself.
我们输了 他打败了我们 游戏结束了
We lost! He beat us! The game is over!
我们没法抓住杰瑞
We can't tag Jerry.
我们是时候接受这一点了
It's just time for us to come to terms with that.
他是无敌的 就是这样
He's untouchable. That's it.
那你想怎么办 你想就这么放弃吗
What do you wanna do? You wanna just give up?
是的 鲍勃 我想放弃 是时候放弃了
Yeah, Bob. I wanna give up. It's time to give up.
别这样 霍根 你不是那种落跑的人
Come on, Hogan. You're not a quitter.
还能怎么办
What's the alternative?
我们去婚礼现场 想抓住他 然后失败了
We go to the wedding. We try to tag him. We fail.
然后我们毁了婚礼
And we fuck up the wedding?
这招一点都不好 很混♥蛋♥
That's not a cool move. That's a dick move.
朋友不应该这样做 那是混♥蛋♥做的事
That's not what friends do. That's what assholes do.
霍吉 他可是演了一出流产的戏码
Hoagie! He faked a fucking miscarriage.
这是非常不公正的行为
This is a miscarriage of justice.
我们要抓住这点拿下他
This is where we get him.
他该为此付出代价
He deserves to pay for that.
就算我们想这样做 我们可都签过条约了
Even if we wanted to do that, we all signed an amendment.
在他演流产戏码的时候条约就无效了
Amendments are null and void if you fake a miscarriage.
这是合同的基本法
That's just basic contract law.
-那是法律 合同基本法 -法律
- That's law. Basic contract law. - Law.
就像他说的
Like he said.
我就是这么说的
I literally said exactly that.
我知道 我们一起说的
I know. We're saying it together.
但是我还是比你对得早
But I was also right earlier
因为我早说了流产是假的
because I said the miscarriage was fake.
条约有效 也许那是件好事
The amendment stands, and maybe that's a good thing.
也许我们是时候长大了
Maybe it's time to grow up a little.
我要去参加婚礼
I'm going to the wedding.
你们想怎么样都行 我希望你们也能来
And you guys can do what you want. I hope you come too.
奇力 系上领带
Chilli, just put on a tie.
亲爱的
Sweetie.
你有领带吗
Do you even have a tie?
我有
Yes, I have a tie.
-你要借条领带吗 -对 我要借条领带
- Do you need to borrow a tie? - Yes, I need to borrow a tie.
好吧
Okay.
你们好 很高兴你们来了
Hi! I'm so glad you made it!
这是香槟吗
Is that champagne?
我知道 唉
I know. Ugh.
为流产事件痛哭的也是我
I'm the girl who cried miscarriage.
但我没办法 我得把他
But I had to get him out of
从里面救出来 还要支开你们几个小时
that room and distract you for a couple of hours
这样才能撑到条约生效