抓人游戏

so that the amendment could kick in.
慢着 你到底有没有怀孕
Wait. Are you even pregnant?
没有 我根本没怀孕
No, I was never pregnant.
你根本没怀孕
You were never pregnant?
听着 杰瑞知道
Just listen. Jerry knew
你们也许会对他先发制人
that you guys might get the drop on him
"流产行动"是我们的保险计划
so "Operation Miscarriage" was our fail-safe.
-还是个"行动" -这其实是我的主意
- It was an operation? - It was actually my idea.
-点子不错 很棒 -谢谢
- Brilliant. Brilliant! - Ah, thanks.
你是魔鬼吗
That's diabolical.
大家都很生气 因为你赢了 他们是男的
Everyone's just pissed because you won, and they're boys.
不能怀孕 所以他们不能假装流产
They can't get pregnant, so they can't fake a miscarriage.
没错
It's true.
我不是说我希望你流产
Look, I'm not saying I want you to have a miscarriage.
那就别说了
Then don't.
因为如果是真的就太糟糕了
'Cause that would be terrible.
但是如果你真的流产了
But if you ever do have a miscarriage,
我不想说
I don't wanna say that
你活该 因为那太过分了
you would deserve it 'cause that's too far,
但我会说我觉得
but what I will say and what I do feel
这是因果报应
is that's what you get.
好吧 没关系 大家都可以表达自己的感情
Okay. It's fine. We can all have different feelings.
但今天是我们的婚礼日 大家别这样
But it's our wedding day, you guys. Come on.
我们想了个这么棒的条约
And we came up with this great amendment
可以让我们共同欢度
so that we could all enjoy
开开心心 轻轻松松地度过这一天
this day together and have fun and relax.
我们言和了吧
Are we cool?
-嗯 大概吧 -还没
- Yeah, I guess so. - Not yet.
抱歉 还没好 你确实谋杀了一个孩子
Sorry. Not cool yet. It's just, you did murder a child.
没有
No.
她没有 流产是假的
She didn't. No, it was a fake miscarriage.
不是你体内那个虚构的孩子
Yeah, not the imaginary child that was inside of you,
而是我内心住着的那个孩子
but the actual inner child that lives inside of me
他被抹杀了
got decapitated.
他的头飞了起来 在空中翻转 血撒得到处都是
Head flew up, did flips in the air, blood spurting everywhere.
霍吉 杰瑞有不败战绩
Hoagie, Jerry has a perfect record,
我们现在是一队的
and we're a team now.
胜利的那一队
The winning team.
我觉得 霍吉 要是你要以一个成年人的身份
And I just feel like, Hoagie, if you're gonna play
来玩一个孩童的游戏
a children's game as a grown man,
也许下次 别表现得像个孩子
maybe, next time, don't play like a child.
不管怎么样 我很高兴你们来了
Anyways, I am really excited you guys are here.
试试刺身台上的东西 很棒很新鲜
Try the raw bar. It's off the hook.
今天是婚礼日 我要结婚了
It's my wedding! I'm getting married!
-恭喜 -帮我提裙子
- Congratulations. - Come on! Grab it!
我收回所有说她有活力的形容词
I take back everything I said about her being effervescent.
我是在互助小组认识杰瑞的
I met Jerry in AA.
瞧 我这个人有很多问题
You see, people, I got a lot of problems.
脾气暴躁 我离开了妻子 还有很多孩子
Anger issues. I left my wife. I have many kids.
是这个男人让我重回正轨
And this man got me to turn to the cloth.
那是我人生的低谷
It was a low point in my life.
我还坐过牢
There was jail time involved.
我一度皈依了伊♥斯♥兰♥教
I briefly converted to Islam.
还打输了跟乔安织物之间的长年法律纠纷
I lost a long legal battle with Jo-Ann Fabrics.
就在那段时间 我认识了杰瑞和苏珊小两口
During that time, I got to know Jerry and Susan as a couple.
这是上天对我的恩赐
And that is a true blessing.
圣公会教♥徒♥和路德会教友的区别是什么
What's the difference between Episcopalian and Lutheran?
圣公会教♥徒♥不吃鱼
Episcopalians don't eat fish.
那是鱼素者 不是教派
That's pescatarian. That's not a religion.
都是狂热分子 我又分不清
They're all fanatics. I don't know.
跟我再说说 是在亲吻的环节
Remind me again, is it on the
还是在他们走下红毯之后
kiss or after they walk back down the aisle?
真的假的 你不是说你以前就在婚礼帮过忙吗
Seriously? You said you'd worked weddings before.
先亲吻 再放鸽子 婚礼结束
The kiss, the doves, end of ceremony.
新郎交待得很清楚
The groom was very specific about this.
在人生的起起伏伏中
...and finds new ways of expressing love
找到新的方式来表达爱
through the ups and downs of life.
苏珊 你愿意杰瑞成为你的丈夫吗
Susan, do you take Jerry to be your husband?
你愿意承诺爱他 敬他 珍惜他 保护他
Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him,
为他放弃所有 一生只牵着他吗
forsaking all others, holding only to him forever more?
我愿意
I do.
真好
Beautiful.
有一个时机
There's gonna be a window.
-什么 亲爱的 -放鸽子的时候
- What, sweetie? - The doves.
放鸽子怎么了
What about the doves?
有一个空当
There's an opening.
放轻松点 亲爱的
Just relax, honey.
你太紧张了
You seem stressed.
杰瑞 你愿意让苏珊成为你的妻子吗
Jerry, do you take Susan to be your wife?
你愿意承诺爱她 敬她 珍惜她 保护她
Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him,
为她放弃所有 一生只牵着她吗
forsaking all others, holding only to her forever more?
我愿意
I do.
这场景很美
I mean, this is actually kind of beautiful.
的确很美
It really is, man.
我宣布你们结为夫妻
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
你可以亲吻新娘了
You may kiss the bride.
我爱你
I love you.
-霍吉 -上上上
- Hoagie! - Go, go, go!
天啊
Oh, God!
-我们上去 -霍吉 你没事吧
- Guys, go! - Hoagie! You okay?
老天
Jesus.
伙计
Hey, man.
兄弟
Buddy?
-你把天鹅都吓跑了 -霍吉
- You scared away the swans. - Hoagie?
-霍根 霍根 -霍吉
- Hogan? Hogan. - Hoagie!
我不敢相信你们在现在闹这么一出
I can't believe that you guys did this. Right now.
我觉得你没资格
Well, I don't think you get
站在道德制高点上跟我们说话 真的
to claim the moral high ground over us, actually.
对 你们比我们好不到哪儿去
Yeah, you're not better than us.
你和你老婆可是演了一场流产的好戏
You and your wife pretended to have a goddamn miscarriage.
都是误会 都是误会
Misunderstanding! Misunderstanding.
-是误会 -来自她下面的误会
- Misunderstanding. - In her vagina.
天哪
Wow. Oh, boy.
打电♥话♥叫医生
Guys, call a doctor!
-能听见我说话吗 -兄弟
- Can you hear me? - Buddy?
谁去找医生来
Somebody get a doctor!
-兄弟 -他完全失去意识了
- Bud? - He's gone full loss of consciousness.
厉害了
That's impressive.
比你的演技还厉害 对吧
Even better than your performance. Right?
对啊 演技太好了
I know! It's so good!
抱歉 大家
Excuse me, uh, everyone...
一切都很好
Everything's fine.
只是一个游戏
Uh, this is all just a game.
他还是没恢复意识 不过情况稳定下来了
He's still unconscious, but he's stable.
鉴于他现在的情况 真的不要再做这样的剧烈运动了
He really should never have been this active given his condition.
-等他醒来你们可以探视 -谢谢
- You can see him when he wakes up. - Thanks.
我去问
I got this.
打扰下 医生 你好
Excuse me, Doctor. Hey, how are you?
-你好 -医生 尹医生 是吗
- Yeah. - Doctor, uh... Doctor Yoon, is it?
-对 -怎么拼写
- Yes. - How do you spell that?
-你正看着呢 -我知道 不过我想问问你
- You're looking right at it. - I know, but I'm just asking you.
你到底想问我什么
What exactly are you asking me?
我和朋友们在玩一个奇怪的游戏
My friends and I do this thing. It's this really weird game.
有没有可能他的病情是假的
Is there any chance this is all fake,
你可以告诉我
that you could just tell me.
我不会告诉别人的
I won't tell the others.
是假的吗
Is this fake?
-你说医院造假吗 -是整件事 这事是假的吗
- This hospital? - The whole thing, yeah. Is it fake?
这是我听过最蠢的话
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
是他让你这么说的 对吗
He told you to say that, right?
听着 我得去准备手术了