抓人游戏

Get over here!
我和安娜第一个孩子出生时 卡拉翰在场
And Callahan was there when Anna and I had our first child.
恭喜你 伙计 轮到你了 干得漂亮 安娜
Congratulations, buddy. You're it. Doing great, Anna.
我父亲去世时大家都在场
And all the guys were there for me when my father died.
我觉得你♥爸♥爸肯定很希望在这一刻
I think your dad would have really wanted you to be
轮到你了
it in this moment.
这个游戏
This game,
这些年来
it's given us a reason
给了我们理由陪在彼此身边
to be in each other's lives all these years.
每个季度最后一名轮到的人这一年都将活在耻辱中
The last it from each season will live in shame for one year.
-那你输了怎么办 -你就输了
- So what happens if you lose? - You lose.
-轮到你了 -那胜利者拿到什么
- You're it. - What does the winner get?
没有胜利者 不输就是好样的
There are no winners. Just not losers.
我很想坐在这里
I would love to sit here and
跟你们分♥析♥这项比赛的精神
deconstruct the spirit of competition with everyone,
但是杰瑞仍然在逃
but Jerry's still on the loose,
我们得打他的痛点
and we've got to get him where it hurts.
-不能打屁♥眼♥ -不能打屁♥眼♥ 当然了
- Not in the asshole. - Not in the asshole. Obviously.
伙计们 我们去他家吧
Oh! Guys, let's go to his house.
他不会在他家的 太明显了
He wouldn't be at his house. It's too obvious.
是的 太明显所以他才会在 这就是杰瑞
Yeah, it's too obvious, so he's gonna be there. This is Jerry.
也许正因为太明显了
Maybe it's so obvious
所以他并不明显会在
that it's not obvious that he will be there.
-所以他在家里 -他不会在那里
- So he's at the house. - He's not gonna be there.
如果他在那里 那他就很明显会在那里
If he's there, then it'll be obvious for him to be there,
所以他不会在那里
so he wouldn't be there
因为他认为
because he would think that
我们明显就会去那里
we would automatically come there, obviously.
什么
What?
你们知道吗 只有一个办法能知道
You know what? One way to find out.
走吧
Let's go.
太明显...
It'll be obvious to...
走吧
Come on!
锁上了
It's locked.
你看到什么了
What do you see?
很漂亮
It's nice.
非常注重细节 但也没有太过
There's lot of attention to detail, but not too overdone.
你能把门打开吗
Well, can you just unlock it?
这是非法入侵
This is breaking and entering.
不 如果你认识主人就不算
No, it doesn't count if you know the person.
根本不是这样
That is not true.
"你们真的以为我会在家吗"
"Did you guys really think I would be home?"
好像是个陷阱
Feels like a trap.
好吧 我们分头行动吧 覆盖更多区域
All right, let's split up. We'll cover more ground.
不 这个主意很糟糕
No, that's a terrible idea.
他永远不会想到的
He'll never expect it.
先请你们帮我从门里出来
Now help me out of the door, please.
杰瑞
Jerry!
他肯定在这里
He's gotta be here.
你之前来过这里吗
Have you ever even been here before?
魔鬼蛋
Deviled eggs.
美味 分分钟下肚
Delicious. These go fast.
搞什么
What the fuck?
天啊
Oh, man.
杰瑞有氯仿
Jerry got chloroform?
不是吧 他技术升级了
What the fuck? He has stepped it up.
整座城市的航拍地图 一大堆建筑规划图
Aerial maps of the city. Bunch of blueprints.
五顶不同的帽子 厉害
Five different hats? Wow.
人是会变的
People change.
你...
Did you...
我什么都没有做
I didn't do anything.
谁在我家蹦蹦跳跳
Who is that scampering around my house?
伙计们 你们真的以为我会回家吗
Hello, boys, did you really think I'd go home?
-笨蛋 -我就知道
- You idiots. - I knew it.
-太明显了 -没错
- It's too obvious. - Yep.
这不过是侥幸的猜测
I mean, that's just a lucky guess.
好吧 杰瑞 你在哪里
Okay, Jerry, where are you?
伙计们 今天晚上见到你们
You know, seeing you guys tonight
让我想好好回忆一下过去
made me wanna take a walk down memory lane.
看
Ta-da!
那是你的...那是我的卧室
Is that your... That's my bedroom.
你在我父母家 你为什么在我父母家
You're at my parents' house. Why are you at my parents' house?
比我记忆中的小了一点
It's a little smaller than I remember.
你闯进了我家
You broke into my house!
我们也闯进了他家
We broke into his house.
没错 我们也闯进了你家
Yeah, we broke into your house.
看我发现了谁 霍吉
Hey, hey! Look who I found, Hoag.
霍吉 我好想你
Hoagie, I miss you so much!
你拿小麦秸先生干什么
What are you doing with Mr. Stubbles?
这个小家伙陪你度过了
This little guy got you through
人生的很多麻烦 是不是
a lot of troubles in life, didn't he?
好吧 杰瑞
All right, Jerry.
看看会如何发展
Let's see where this one goes.
小麦秸先生有话要说 是什么呢
Mr. Stubbles has something to say. What was that?
他说他的皮肤很干燥 需要滋润
He says that his skin's very dry. It needs to be moisturized.
杰瑞 放下小麦秸先生 上帝保佑
Jerry, put down Mr. Stubbles. So help me God.
这是什么情况
What's happening here?
他要在霍吉小时候的卧室打飞机
I think he's about to masturbate in Hoagie's childhood bedroom.
不
Oh, no.
这是宣誓主导权的终极行为
It's the ultimate act of dominance.
我会一直待在这里等你们来
I'm gonna stay here until you come.
除非我先射了
Unless I come first.
你这个狡猾的变♥态♥
You sly dog.
-快快快 -你们抓到他了吗
- Go! Go! Go! - Did you get him?
-开车 -我已经发动了 发动了
- Start the car! - I started it. I started it.
所有人都系上安全带
Everybody put their seat belts on.
快快快
Go! Go! Go!
-所有人都上车 -等等
- Everybody in. - Hold on.
所有人都上车了吗
Is everybody in?
这会美妙又顺滑的 小麦秸先生
This is gonna be nice and smooth, Mr. Stubbies.
一点点都不会痛的
This isn't gonna hurt whatsoever.
耐心等着 我们来救你了 我们来救你了
Stay put. We're coming for you. We're coming for you.
好的 但是快点来 爸爸 快点来
Yeah, but hurry up! Daddy, hurry up!
小麦秸先生不喜欢你 他不可能喜欢你
Mr. Stubbles is not into you. He can't be into you.
他不是情趣玩具 把他放下
He's not a sexual being, okay? So put him down!
你们好
Hey, team.
杰瑞 你现在怎么可能在我房♥间里
Jerry, how are you in my room right now?
我们都在我房♥间里
We're all in my room.
我当然不在那里 我在这里 我的地下室
No, of course I'm not there. I'm here. In my basement.
你们在哪里
Where are you guys?
你特么在逗我吗
Are you fucking kidding me?
他在地下室复♥制♥了你的卧室吗
He built a replica of your bedroom in his basement?
晚安 先生们
Good night, gentlemen.
真是业余
Ah, amateurs.
我们开始吧
Let's begin. Um...
开头不太顺
So kind of a rough start.
其实这是很正常的情况 杰瑞很极端
That was pretty standard, actually. Yeah, Jerry's extreme.
打飞机是假的 但乐趣是真的
The masturbation was fake, but the pleasure was real.
我之前就说过 我们抓不住他
I mean, I've said it before, but we're not gonna tag him because,
因为抓人游戏他玩得比我们厉害
you know, he's better at tag than us.
很明显 我会成为抓住杰瑞的人
I'm obviously going to be the one that tags Jerry.
我一直在跟一个日本老师学习
I've been working with this Japanese guy. Sensei.
他对空手道一窍不通
He knows zero karate.
他不会空手道 他说他会空手道吗
Oh, he doesn't know karate. He's claiming to know karate?
他不会空手道 我觉得他不会空手道
He doesn't know karate. I don't think he knows karate.
那他怎么说
Well, then what does he call
十年级的时候我用回旋踢给了他一击
it when I roundhouse kicked him in 10th grade?
卡拉翰和奇力
Callahan and Chilli did get
确实在高二的时候大战了一场
in a huge fight sophomore year of high school
卡拉翰确实抓住了奇力
and Callahan did just tag
用的是一记漂亮的回旋踢