为了桑尼加油（2019）

What the fuck are you doing?
我在尿尿
I am peeing.
你这辈子都要这么
You just gonna be a smart ass
自以为是吗
little bitch your whole life?
好吧 现在不是和你玩游戏
Okay, this situation is a little vulnerable
的绝佳时期
for this particular game.
我们能不能暂时推迟一下下
Can we just have a temporary delay in play?
你希望我能体谅你
You expect me to be considerate of you
但你不考虑
but you don't think about the affect
你的行为对别人的影响
of your actions on anyone else.
你自我感觉良好所以你就为所欲为
It feels good so you do it.
有意思
Okay, this is fun.
你有个火♥辣♥的男朋友
You've got a boyfriend who's kinda hot
有点名气 但不
and kinda famous, but no,
你看来觉得最好还是
you decided it would be a good idea
去和痉挛的小家伙谈恋爱
to make out with the little spastic.
做得好 邻里守望
Good job, neighbourhood watch.
你在想什么
What're you thinking?
我不知道 也许我
I don't know, maybe I...
也许我犯了一个错误
Maybe I made one mistake.
我们别太夸张了
Let's not turn this into something--
一个错误
One mistake?
桑尼 这就是你操蛋的生活
Sunny, this is your fucking life!
你做这些事是因为你感觉 我不知道
You do these things because it feels, I don't know,
你很兴奋或是很带感
exciting or naughty.
你邀请别人利用你
You invite people to use you
当事情变得不好看的时候
and when it all turns ugly,
你希望有人来
you expect someone else to come in and pick up
把你所有的碎片都捡起来
all your broken little pieces.
如果你说的和我想的一样
If you're talking about what I think you're talking about,
你不能因为那个男人的所作所为而责怪我
you can't blame me for what that man did.
他是个成年人我是个孩子
He was an adult and I was a child.
你可以和我选择一样的结果
You could've done what I did.
你本可以拒绝的
You could've said no.
-他... -是的 他试过了
- He-- - Yeah, he tried.
在你之前
Before you.
你没那么特别
You're not so special.
你就是不知道怎么说不
You just don't know how to say no.
我那时12岁 你这个王八蛋
I was 12, you cunt.
我也是
So was I.
是时候了
This is it.
启动发射程序
Initiate launch procedure.
听说过阿波罗13号♥吗
Ever heard of Apollo 13?
你还好吗
You okay in there?
请走开
Go away, please.
因为我在和一个白♥痴♥说话...
'Cause I'm talking to an idiot--
该死
Oh shit.
我还带她去了中餐馆吃午饭来着
I took her to Chinese for lunch.
就一个经常吃一小叉蘑菇
For a girl who usually eats a fork-full of moo goo
还有一半签饼的女孩而言
and half a fortune cookie,
她这次几乎把整个菜单都吃完了
she made a pretty decent dent in the menu.
我猜是味精导致的
It's the MSG I bet.
不管是什么 我们都完蛋了
Well, whatever it is, we're screwed.
所有的努力都是徒劳的
All that hard work for nothing.
我想她不再需要你了
Guess she won't be needing you anymore.
你在做什么
What're you doing?
我从浴盆手套那里得到的一些点子
Taking some advice I got from a bath mitt.
呃
Um.
信不信由你 我一直在接受治疗
Believe it or not, I've been in therapy.
治疗
Therapy, right?
基本上就是付钱给别人做你的朋友
It's basically paying someone to be your friend.
但在治疗中 你真正付钱买♥♥到的
But with therapy, what you're really paying for
不是让别人来听你的问题
is not for someone to listen to you problems.
不 你付钱是为了
No, what you're paying for is so that
不必去听他们的问题
you don't have to listen to their shitty problems.
是的 我有问题
Yeah, I have issues.
靠纸袋猜出来的吧
The paper bag gave it away, huh?
我患有脑瘫
I have cerebral palsy.
我是个专职痉挛者
Yeah, I'm a full-time spastic.
不仅仅是为娱乐
Not just recreationally.
我不需要喝啤酒就能这样走路
I don't need beer to walk like this.
这就是我
This is all me.
如果你得了脑瘫
You know, when you got cerebral palsy,
和一个女孩搭讪是很难的事
it's hard to pick up a girl.
拿起饮料也是很困难的
It's hard to pick up a drink.
我遇到了一个女孩 我喜欢她
I mean, I met this girl, I like her,
但我该说什么呢
but what do I say?
我发誓我不是奔着打炮去的
I promise I won't try to get in your pants.
我自己连穿裤子都有困难
I have enough trouble getting in my own.
但别为我感到难过
But don't feel bad for me.
有一个好处
There is an upside.
女孩喜欢她们能治好的男人 对吧
Girls like guys they can fix, right?
就这儿
So, right here, right?
对女士们来说这就是猫薄荷
This is catnip to the ladies.
我的老板
My boss...
谢谢你
Thank you.
我老板告诉我 我情绪管理有问题
My boss tells me I also have anger issues.
你直接上去了
You went on?
你不介意吗
You don't mind?
不 我再高兴不过了
No, I couldn't be happier.
先别高兴
Yeah, well hold that thought.
你没戏了
You're out.
他赢了
He's in.
他赢得了比赛
He won the heat.
他已经晋级下一轮了
He's through the next round.
谁他妈猜得到呢
Who freaking knew?
我告诉过你的
I told you!
我告诉过你没
Did I tell you?
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
不 你帮了我一个忙
No, you did me a favour.
不是我 是你 你知道的
It was never me, it was you, you know that.
现在我可以花更多的时间在马里奥了
And now I can spend more time at Mario's.
很棒 让你的指甲整天都沾满油吧
Great, more greasy fingernails.
太性感了
Who doesn't find that hot?
你会继续做下去的吧
You're gonna keep going, right?
我想是吧
I guess.
你必须
Yes you are!
还有两轮 你要是赢了
You've got two more rounds, you win those,
你就获得更大的舞台了
you're in the big show.
米奇会帮你的
And Mikey will help you.
是的 因为米奇是个好人王子
Yeah because Mikey's a freaking prince.
额 我可能 我还是...
Yeah, I might, I might just--
你继续啊 冠军
Yeah, you do that, champ.
他们想在你走之前拍张照片 海报照
They want a photo before you go, poster shot.
就这样 完美
Just like that, perfect.
再来一张
One more?
好
Okay.
我觉得好臭
I feel rank.
你感觉很差吧
Oh, you feel bad now,
试试钡灌肠吧
just try having a barium enema.
哦 是残障啊
Oh, retard.
又开始了吗
Oh, we're not gonna do this again, are we?
怎么了
What's up?
你没玩笑可开了
You run out of jokes, have you?
没有
No.
我只是觉得与手无寸铁的对手
I just don't think it's fair to have a battle of wits
干架不是很公平
with an unarmed opponent.
这是什么意思
What does that mean, huh?
嗯
Huh?
真♥他♥妈♥滑稽
Now that's fucking funny!
自以为是