为了桑尼加油（2019）

或者这些了
Or these!
去他妈的
Screw it!
恭喜你
You know, congratulations.
你赢了
You win.
你还不够吗
Don't you have enough already?
现在你还想要这个
And now you want this too?
拜托 伙计 你肯定还有别的东西
Come on, man, surely you got something else.
来个有趣的故事吧
What about one of those fun stories
讲讲你是个多么愤怒的家伙
about what an angry dude you are?
不行
No?
太尴尬了
Awkward.
好吧 大伙儿 我们可以休息一下
Okay, folks, we might just take a little break.
等等
You know, wait,
当然可以
sure.
好吧
All right.
有一个故事 为你打造的
Here's a story, just for you.
是关于一个三岁的孩子
It's about a kid, three years old,
喜欢在雨中和他的狗玩耍
loved playing in the rain with his dog.
我希望你有很出色的笑点哦
I hope it's got a good punchline.
这孩子在雨中玩耍
So this kid is out playing in the rain,
带着他的狗从一个水坑跳到另一个水坑
jumping from puddle to puddle with his dog
他住在一所老房♥子里
and he lives in this old house
门外面有一百万个台阶
with like a million stairs going all the way up to the door.
他们跑进去 浑身湿透
And they run inside, dripping wet.
把水弄得地上到处都是
Puddles all over the floor.
那只狗 他跑到孩子的爸爸面前
The dog, he runs up to the kid's dad
坐在他最喜欢的椅子上看电视
sitting in his favourite chair watching TV.
然后甩
And just shakes.
就像狗一样
As dogs do.
爸爸呢
And this dad,
他有点脾气
he's got a bit of a temper.
有点脾气
Yeah, a bit of a temper.
他抓住狗
And he grabs the dog
他把它扔到雨中
and he throws it out into the rain,
扔下楼梯
down the stairs.
这孩子很难过
The kid is upset.
他开始打爸爸
Starts hitting the dad.
也许他继承了一点愤怒
Maybe he's inherited a bit of his anger.
所以爸爸拎起小男孩
So the dad picks up the little boy,
他把他拎起来 也把他扔了出去
he picks him up and he throws him out too.
扔下楼梯 扔到雨中
Down the stairs,out into the rain.
他的胳膊断了 骨头露了出来
Breaks his arm,bone sticking out.
他椎骨骨折
Fractures his vertebrae,
头骨裂缝
cracks his skull.
孩子的妈妈看到了
The mom, the mom sees this,
她看到了 试图去帮助那个小男孩
she sees this and she tries to help the little boy.
但是爸爸阻止了她
But the dad, he stops her.
他让她回去
He makes her go back inside
因为毕竟在下雨
because it's raining after all.
所以这个男孩
So here's this boy,
躺在泥里
lying in the mud,
他的头内侧有脑出血
brain bleeding on the inside of his head,
他本会死
he could die.
但他没那么幸运
But he's not that lucky.
他得忍♥受脑损伤
He gets to live with brain damage
忍♥受钢制螺栓和螺钉
in steel bolts and crews
各种测试扫描操作还有...
and tests and scans and operations and...
还有痛苦
and pain.
没人想和他玩
And nobody wanting to play with him
因为他跟不上
because he can't keep up
他是个怪胎
and he's a freak.
他的余生都将一直
And he will spend the rest of his life
吓跑任何靠得太近的人
scaring off anybody who gets too close
这样他就可以假装那是他自己想要的
so he can pretend that's what he wants.
好吧 我想应该可以结束了
Okay, we might just leave it there.
你知道那句话
You know that saying,
他举世无双 独一无二[打破模具]
when they made him they broke the mould?
而我则是他们用坏了的模具造出来的人
Well I'm the guy they made after him with a broken mould.
这就是为什么我能讲这些笑话而你不能
And that's why I get to tell these jokes and you don't!
没错 我是去过心理治疗
You know, yeah, I've been to therapy.
他们说我情绪管理有问题
They say I have anger problems.
其实我觉得我没什么问题
Well I don't actually think I have a problem.
我想是这个想要每日每夜
I think it's this guy who's about to have
和个麦克风架亲热的人
this microphone stand jammed up his ass
才有问题
who's go the problem!
这对你来说够好笑了吗
So is that enough of a punchline for you, fuck face?
你说啊
You tell me!
看看
Ugh, see?
我不需要一个女孩把我弄得不知所措[摔倒]
I don't need a girl to knock me off my feet,
我自己就能摔
I can do it all by myself.
嘿 来吧
Hey, come on.
滚开
Fuck off!
滚
Back off!
我不需要你
I don't need you!
我不需要任何人
I don't need anyone!
治疗
去再喝一杯吧 怪胎
Go have another beer, freak!
这家伙磕高了
This guy's off his tits.
他想猥亵我
Ugh, he's trying to grope me!
嘿 你抓她干什么 伙计
Hey, what're you doing grabbing her, buddy?
撞到杆子了
Hit the pole.
他在吃药诶
Oi, he's taking a spill!
嘿 住手
Hey, stop it!
滚开 你们这些畜生
Piss off, you animals!
你们看什么看 别烦他
What're you staring at, leave him alone!
-好吧 -天哪
- All right, then. - Oh my God.
嘿 特拉维斯 我是桑尼
Hey, Travis, it's Sunny.
没事 你没事的
It's okay, you're okay.
你没事 你不会有事的
You're okay, you're okay.
别碰
Get off!
我只是在帮忙叫救护车
I'm just calling an ambulance.
-拜托 叫他们快点 -救护车
- Please, tell them to hurry. - Ambulance.
你是埃德娜夫人吗
Are you Dame Edna?
现在不行
Not at the moment.
我们这里有特殊情况
We've got a crisis here.
给我 给我
Give me that, give me it.
-是的 -我能合照吗
- Yes. - Can I have your photo?
我们在布雷和国王街的拐角处
We're on the corner of Bray and King's Street.
请快一点
Please hurry.
-他没事吧 -他冷静下来了
- Is he okay? - He's calming down.
我觉得没事
I think so.
嗯
Yeah, yeah.
那个混♥蛋♥的行为实在是太过分了
What that bastard did was unacceptable.
谢谢你来关心我
Thanks for checking on me.
你吓了我们一大跳
Well, you gave us all quite a scare.
是的
Yeah.
我不该那么强硬的
You know, I shouldn't have been so hard lined.
毕竟这是你的生活
It's your life after all.
是的 悲伤但真实
Yeah, sad but true.
昨晚怎么样了
What about last night?
你感觉怎么样
How're you feeling?
我不知道 我不记得了
I don't know,I don't remember.
你都不记得了吗
You don't remember any of this?
我记得的最后一件事
Last thing I remember,
我在台上向全世界讲述
I was on stage telling the world things
我从不告诉任何人的故事
I never tell anybody.
在你癫痫发作后发生了一点小骚动
Well, there was a bit of a commotion after your seizure.
桑尼救了你
Sunny was there for you.
她现在在哪里
Where is she now?
对不起 特拉维斯
I'm sorry, Travis.
你已经说过了