为了桑尼加油（2019）

Don't I get to choose what I shoot at?
那我们现在该怎么办
Okay, so what do we do now?
我怎么才能做到你那样
How do I learn to do what you did?
我不知道
I don't know.
我就只是拿自己取乐
I just insulted myself, really,
我做得比他好
and I did it better than he did.
是的 没有什么比
Yes, there's nothing funnier than a bit of
老套的自我憎恨更有意思了
good old fashion self-hate.
呃
Well,
那你可真倒霉的
you're shit out of luck then.
你是在说我就没有
Are you saying that I'm not riddled
自我厌恶吗
with festering self-loathing?
我吗
Moi?
那你热爱着些什么吗
Well, what's to love?
故事时间
Story time.
从前 有一个小女孩
Once upon a time, there was a little girl.
大家都说这个小女孩很漂亮
Everyone said this little girl was very pretty.
尤其是邻居亨利先生
Especially Mr. Henry from over the back.
当爸爸妈妈不在的时候
When Mummy and Daddy were away,
亨利先生会来看那个小女孩
Mr. Henry would come and visit the little girl
他会给她特殊的待遇
and he'd give her special treats.
特别秘密地对待
Special secret treats.
别这样
Don't.
好吧
Fine.
我小时候被人侵犯过
I got messed around with as a kid.
我父母从来没发现
My parents never figured it out,
我超级他妈讨厌他们
I fucking hated them for it.
我让他们付出了代价
I made them pay.
他们现在知道了吗
Do they know now?
如果我碰到他们 我帮你问一下
If I run into them, I'll ask.
我从15岁起就一直和我姐姐住在一起
I've been living with my sister since I was 15.
我想在我因为暴食症住院时
I guess they figured out something was wrong
他们应该猜到有些不对劲
when I was hospitalised with bulimia.
暴食症
Bulimia?
是啊 可有趣了 你体验过吗
Yeah, fun game,have you ever played?
这很简单
It's easy.
你从想要被爱开始
You start by wanting to be loved
然后你会去做一些让你觉得
and then you do something that makes you feel like
你不配得到这份爱的事情
you don't deserve that love,
所以你不给自己奖赏
so you withhold reward from yourself.
直到有一天 有些东西突然控制不住了
Till one day, something snaps.
你不能没有爱 对吧
You can't live without love, right?
对我来说 没有巧克力芝士蛋糕就活不下去
Or in my case, you can't live without chocolate cheesecake.
所以你大吃大喝
So you binge
但它永远不会填满那个真正空荡荡的地方
but it never fills that spot that's really empty
现在你非常无比恨你自己
and now you really fucking hate yourself,
你必须受到惩罚 你必须卸下那些
you must be punished and you've gotta offload
你不该得到的爱
all that undeserved love
都丢进马桶里冲走
down the toilet.
现在谁比较疯狂了
Well now who's the pinata full of crazy?
你要不要把这份疯狂带上舞台好好发泄一番
You game to take that up there and whack at it with a stick?
食物很重要 因为它是唯一的
Food is important because it's the one thing
能让你忘记人际关系的东西
that can take your mind off relationships.
就这些吗
Yeah, is that the whole horrible truth?
你什么意思
What do you mean?
什么能让你真正忘记什么
What's really taking your mind off what?
人际关系
Relationships.
关系是非常重要的
Relationships are incredibly important
因为它们是生命中唯一一件
because they're the one thing in life
能让你不一天24小时不工作
that can stop you spending 24 hours a day
只想着食物的事情
thinking about food.
对
Yeah!
没错
Yeah.
心理治疗基本上就是付钱让别人成为你的朋友
Therapy is basically paying someone to be your friend.
这和你妈妈在你脖子上挂一个猪排
It's one step away from
好让狗狗和你玩
having your mom hang a chop around your neck
是同一个道理
so the dog will play with you.
但是猪排不需要花每小时180英镑
Except the chop doesn't cost 180 per hour
治疗师也不会在你完事儿后帮你抬腿
and the therapist doesn't try to hump your leg after.
大多数情况下是这样
Mostly.
烤面包机的梗呢
Whoa, what happened to the toaster bit?
我觉得有点过时了
I just, I feel like it's a little bit dated.
过时了
Dated?
这是我写给你的
I wrote that for you.
你总是烤焦面包
You always burn the toast.
这是你的招牌 桑尼
It's your thing, Sunny.
嗯 以前的时候确实很有趣
Yeah, and it was really, it was funny at the time.
这是你的主意吗
Is this your stuff?
我提了一些建议
I made some suggestions
但桑尼说了算
but Sunny has the final say.
桑尼不太会做决定 不是吗 宝贝
Sunny has assertiveness issues, don't you, babe?
你说是就是吧
If you say so.
怎么了
What?
伙计 别搞得太亲密了
Mate, ditch the personal stuff.
我付钱给你不是为了这个结果
That's not what I'm paying you for.
我邀请了电台主管来参加开麦之夜
I've got radio execs coming to to the open mic night
那个虚无主义之类的垃圾玩意儿可不是早间广播
and that nihilistic shit is not breakfast radio.
你明白了吗
Capisce?
明白了
Yeah.
很好
Good.
又说烤面包机
The toaster bit.
为什么
Why?
因为它很棒
It's good.
是你
It's you.
而且
It...
很能引起共鸣
And it's relatable.
大家都会烤焦面包
Everybody burns toast.
贝拉
Bella?
嗯
Huh?
你能给我一个扭矩扳手吗
Can you get me a torque wrench?
你想好项目没有
You come up with a project yet?
嗯
Mmmm.
你觉得有没有可能
Do you think it would be possible to put
在我的滑板车上安装辅助轮
training wheels on my scooter?
为什么
Why?
我要去洗手间 等一下
Bathroom, hang on one sec.
恐♥怖♥分♥子♥是这么说的
And so the terrorist says,
我的炸♥弹♥看起来大吗
does my bomb look big in this?
好吧
Okay.
好吧 接下来舞台交给一个女孩
All right, next up, we've got a girl
她在酒吧后面为大家服务了很长时间
who's spent more time behind bars
比夏佩尔·科尔比还要久 有请桑尼·奥哈拉
than Schapelle Corby, our own Sunny O'Hara.
记住我跟你说的话
Just remember what I told you.
你可以的 你很招人喜爱
You'll be fine, you're adorable.
还有什么
Is there anything funnier
比一个暴食症女孩更有趣的吗
than a girl with an eating disorder?
我不这么认为
I don't think so.
你们知道奇怪的是什么吗
You know what's weird though?
奇怪的是有些人会主动告诉你
It's weird how proud some people are
他们有暴食症
to tell you they're bulimic.
好像这是勇气的象征
Like it's a badge of courage.
这不是 暴食症只是一种恶心的病
It's not, it's just a disgusting illness.
哪有一个正常的人会到处吹嘘
I mean, who in their right mind goes around bragging,
是的 没错 就是这样 我有痔疮
yep, yes, yes I do, I suffer from haemorrhoids.
我觉得这是时尚产业的错
I blame the fashion industry.
他们总是在宣传这样一种形象
They're always always pushing the image
一个女人
that a woman is only attractive
只有屁♥股♥大得像长了瘤一样才叫有吸引力
with enormous lumps bulging out of her anus.
呃
Ugh.
时尚杂♥志♥让我暴食
I mean, fashion magazines,they made me bulimic.
不 他们没有