牵线

我虽然老 但不聋
I'm old, not deaf.
-那是你男朋友吗 -绝对不是 丹尼斯
- Is that your boyfriend? - Absolutely not, Dennis.
很好
Good.
现在挥棒的是红袜队16号♥ 安德鲁·贝尼泰迪
Now batting, Red Sox number 16, Andrew Benintendi.
他妈的拿下啊
Let's frigging get that!
给你拍张照 推到陌陌上
I'm gonna take a picture of you and post it on Tinder.
你知道的 男人都爱喜欢体育的女生
You know, guys love girls who like sports.
-你在开玩笑吗 -他们真的喜欢
- Are you kidding me? - They do.
他们以为自己爱的是喜欢体育的姑娘
They think they like girls liking sports.
但其实是喜欢穿着运动紧身短上衣的姑娘
They like a girl in a tight sports jersey
一边端着鸡翅 一边把术语说错
serving wings and getting terms wrong.
男人都爱那些喜欢对体育有偏好的男人的姑娘
Guys like girls who like guys who like sports.
-懂了吗 -柯尔斯顿来了
- Got it? Oh! - Kirsten's here!
31号♥亚纶·希克斯走进了击球区
Number 31, Aaron Hicks steps into the batter's box.
-你好 -你好
- Hey. - Oh, hi.
-真是诡异的巧合 -开始了
- This is a weird coincidence. - Here we go.
我希望你走了楼梯
I hope you took the stairs.
不然我要怎么上来
How else would I get here?
不 我意思是 因为不会有人尿尿
No, I mean, because nobody... Nobody peed.
-懂没 -是了
- You know? - Ah. Yes.
你自己来的吗
You here by yourself?
是的 应该还有一个同事的
Uh, yeah. I'm supposed to meet a colleague.
我也是 一个投资人 估计堵在路上了
Yeah, me, too. An investor. I guess he's stuck in traffic.
-挥棒落空 -拜托
- Swings and misses. - Come on!
你知道挥棒会落在那里的
You know his slider drops like that!
不是精英吗 加油啊
Be elite! Come on!
冰啤酒啦 卖♥♥冰啤酒啦
Ice-cold beer! Get your ice-cold beer here!
我同事来之前 要不要坐到我这边来
You're welcome to take this seat until my colleague gets here.
这是球场最好的位置
It's the best seat in the stadium.
其实 只是球场最贵的位置
Actually, it's just the most expensive seat in the stadium.
我坐的地方能更好地听到两边的教练
From where I'm sitting, you hear both coaches better.
但我同事来之前 欢迎你坐过来
But you're welcome to sit here until my colleague arrives.
左边线上得分 洋基队拿下一分
Single down the right field line, the Yankees score a run.
谢谢
Thank you.
等等 棒呆 我就说嘛
Wait. Oh, yeah! That is what I'm talking about!
好了 洋基粉们 配对啦
All right, Yankees fans, pucker up.
-开始了 -来吧
- It's happening. - Come on.
看吧 柯尔斯顿和瑞克 说了会找他们
All right. It's Kirsten and Rick! I told you he'd find them.
好的 好的 来吧
All right. All right. Come on.
来吧
Come on.
-不要害羞 -我俩不是一起的 我们
- No need to be shy. - We're not together. We're just...
-他们不会亲的 -什么
- They're not gonna kiss. - What?
-我们等着呢 -来吧
- We're waiting. - Come on.
分享爱吧
Share the love.
他们很紧张 如果再给些时间
They were nervous. If they gave them more time...
我知道 我知道
I know, I know.
-那你们俩呢 -给多些时间啊
- How about you guys? - Give them more time!
就是这个精神
That's the spirit.
你什么毛病
What's your problem?
-你谁啊 -不是一个原因好吗
- Who are you? - For a different reason.
下面是谁 就你们了 来吧
Who's next? There we go. There we go.
回到最初的那对
And back to our first couple.
考虑一下吧 最后一个机会
Care to reconsider? Last chance.
天呐 亲啊 亲 按规矩来
No, okay. Oh, kiss, kiss. It's the law!
亲 亲 亲
Kiss, kiss, kiss.
-我滴天 为什么 -我不知道
- Oh, my God. Why? - I don't know.
我们要不要给他们送点爆米花还是什么的
Should we send them popcorn or something?
给妈妈的吻 真甜
And a kiss for Mom. Sweet.
来吧 来吧 来吧
Come on. Come on. Come on.
-亲 亲 亲 -我们亲过了
- Kiss, kiss, kiss. - We did it already.
亲 亲 亲
Kiss, kiss, kiss.
-亲 亲 亲 -好吧
- Kiss, kiss, kiss. - All right.
亲 亲 亲
Kiss, kiss, kiss.
太棒了
Yeah! Yes!
我俩都没新邮件
We have no e-mails.
对啊 当你的舌头
Well, it's hard to bark orders
伸在另一个人嘴里的时候就不好下指令了
when your tongue is down someone's throat.
-实话 -我们自♥由♥了 世界都是我们的
- That's true. - We're free. The world's our oyster.
我们自♥由♥了 和苏士一起玩耍
We're free. Have fun with Suze.
也是你的功劳
It's you, too.
-你坐 -你坐4号♥线吗
- Are you taking the...? - You taking the 4?
有点浪费了刚刚的击掌
Kind of wasted that high-five.
你好啊
Hello.
有没有体育的瞬间让你想哭
Any sports moments make you cry?
我的老天 你是谁
Oh, my goodness. Who are you?
抱歉柯尔斯顿我来迟了 新的咖啡师
I'm so sorry, Kirsten, we came stalled, then there was a new barista,
不知道你咖啡里的牛奶 她
and she didn't know the milk your coffee... She didn't...
-瑞克不在这 -柯尔斯顿也不在
- Rick's still not here. - Neither is Kirsten.
万一有精神变♥态♥看到他们在大屏上接吻
What if a psychopath saw them on the Kiss Cam
跟踪他们回家 把他们杀掉了呢
and followed them home and murdered them?
法律上说 这个场景里我们在哪里
Legally, where are we in that scenario?
拜托 我看了足够多的《法律与秩序》
Please, I have watched enough Law & Order
知道我们绝对
to know that we are absolutely,
-百分百 毫无疑问 -早
- 100 percent, no doubt about it... - Morning.
我想来点咖啡 介意帮我弄杯馥芮白吗
I could use some coffee. You mind getting me a flat white?
介意吗
Would I mind?
这是我的荣幸
It'd be my honor.
哈珀 到我办公室
Harper, my office.
我和一个男人过了一晚
I spent the night with a man.
男人 你和男人过了一晚
A man. You spent the night with... Hmm?
真是太棒了 上啊 姑娘
Oh, wow, that's amazing. You get it, girl.
我们没有睡 但除了睡以外什么都做了
We did not sleep together. We did everything but.
我可不会第一次约会
I'm not the kind of person who sleeps
就和人上♥床♥ 现在不会了
with people on the first date anymore.
对的 已经有很久了
Right. I guess it had been a while.
比我意识到的要久
Longer than I realized.
我觉得他们不该听见这个
I don't think they should hear that.
等待过程有点密宗式的
The waiting was almost tantric.
什么
What?
即使他很温柔
Even when he was being gentle,
我也能从他的抚摸中感受到力量
I could sense a possibility of strength in his touch.
有点像科科爱抚那只小猫咪
Kind of like when Koko was petting that tiny kitten.
抚摸 抚摸 抚摸
Just like petting it, petting it, petting it.
我们来广播吧
Let's bullhorn.
来告诉我点新鲜事吧
Okay, tell me something I don't know.
这可够新鲜的
Yeah, I didn't know that.
-查理 柯尔斯顿刚走了 -瑞克也是
- Charlie, Kirsten just left. - So did Rick.
光明降临
It's daylight.
是啊 好了
I know. Okay.
我要走了 在柯尔斯顿回来之前
I'm getting out of here before Kirsten comes back,
这些都是可怕的恶作剧
and this was all some terrible prank.
我和我昨晚发信息的那个人有约会
I have a date with some guy that I messaged last night,
我们要去打迷你高尔夫
and we're gonna go mini-golfing.
糟糕的主意
That's a terrible idea.
为什么
Why is that a terrible idea?
你有和戴维·马修一样的认真脸
You have Dave Matthews' concentration face.
不我没有
No, I don't.
我看过一次你写字
Mm, I saw you write cursive one time.
去吧玩得开心 让他赢几个洞
Go, have fun. Let him win a few holes.
不好意思 我只有一个洞
Excuse me. I only have one hole.
-我的妈 我是说高尔夫 -我也是
- Oh, my God. I meant at golf. - So did I.
你比我先到家了 终于辞职了吗
Hey, you're home before me. Did you finally quit?
不 我提前下班了
No, I got off early.
我在给苏士准备晚餐
Making Suze some dinner.
苏士要来啊 挺好
So, uh, Suze is coming over. That's nice.
你为什么这么说话 为什么语调要升高
Why did you say it like that? Why'd your voice go up?
因为 你知道 她很烦
'Cause, you know, she, uh... She sucks.
什么
What?
如果不考虑她的脸和胸
If you take away her face and her boobs,
你会发现根本听不进去她说的话
you realize she's not saying anything.