牵线

Distract yourself from what?
那个高尔夫男子几天没联♥系♥我了
The fact that Golf Guy hasn't called me in a few days.
-零接触吗 -是的 但他不久就会找我
- Like zero contact? - Yeah, bet he'll call me soon,
因为他说他会参加今晚贝卡的派对
'cause he said he was gonna come to Becca's party tonight.
管他呢 我无所谓
Whatever. It's not like I care.
这很有趣
It's gonna be a lot of fun.
-邓肯 -免费酒水和热狗
- Duncan? - Free booze and hot dogs.
天啊 你完全说服我了
Oh my gosh! Absolutely you've convinced me.
我会去的
I'll be there.
漂亮 她是我的+1
Perfect. She's my plus one.
你是我+1 我是苏士的+1
You're my plus one. I'm Suze's plus one.
你是+2
You're a plus two.
-她是我的+3 -我是他的+3
- So, she's my plus three. - I'm his plus three.
什么
What?
我是DJ JC 点燃舞池吧
This is DJ JC, kicking it live on the dance floor.
棒 天啊
Yes! Oh, my God.
-你们看见那些帅哥了吗 -别那样
- You see all the hot guys? - Yeah, don't do that.
每个人都那么黝黑 天啊
Everybody's so tan. Oh, my goodness.
看看你 你真漂亮
Look at you. You look so pretty.
邓肯 你认识苏士
Duncan, you know Suze.
我听说你来了 我还是出现了 所以
I heard you were coming, and I still showed up, so...
-哈珀 -我是哈珀
- Harper. - I'm Harper.
-你们怎么能这样 -每次都被我抓到
- How are you doing this? - I get you every time. Yeah.
住手 别搂搂抱抱 你们不是朋友
Stop. Stop hugging each other. You are not friends.
我们超棒的
We're killing it.
你们相互认识吗
So you guys know each other?
那里像坦克大战 那是战场
It's like Battle of the Bulge over here. It's a war zone.
-查理 -他不会叫你
- Hey, Charlie. - He's not gonna call you,
-没什么大不了 -我睡了他
- and it's not a big deal. - I slept with him.
我没和很多人睡觉 谢谢 邓肯
I don't do that with many people. Thanks, Duncan.
我睡的第一个人还在我身体里的时候就出柜了
First guy I ever slept with came out while he was inside of me.
我讨厌解释这个
I hate to be the one that has to explain this.
性就是这么回事
That's actually how sex works.
她不是那意思 兄弟
That's not what she's talking about, bro.
-他是同性恋 -他在你体内时你发现的吗
- He came out as a gay man. - While he was inside you?
是的 你知道 就像
Yeah, you know, it's kind of like
你试了才知道
you don't really know until you tried it.
然后一旦你尝试了 你真的知道了
And then, once you tried it, you really know.
你知道吗 高尔夫男不是那样
Well, you know what? Golf Guy wasn't like that.
他很完美
He was perfect.
我觉得你对完美的要求真低
I think your bar for perfect is really low.
我们能别说了吗
Can we stop?
我们要玩个游戏叫可望不可及
We're gonna play a game called hard to get.
不可及 不可能 完全无根无据
Hard to get? Makes no sense. It's evolutionarily unsound.
为什么男野人要女野人
Why would a caveman want a cavewoman
就像是 帮我拿点食物
who was like, "Go get me food.
当你回来时 也许有座山洞
When you come back, maybe there'll be a cave for you,
也许没有
maybe there won't be."
男人希望女人
Men should want women
保持山洞最舒适最温暖
that are gonna keep the coziest, warmest caves.
男人需要港湾
Men need shelter.
-我保证提供港湾 -上了高尔夫男
- I am guaranteeing shelter. - Screw Golf Guy.
我上了他 因此
I did screw Golf Guy. That's why
我才碰到这该死的问题
I'm having this frigging problem.
不 忘了他
No, forget about him.
我和你去赴宴 我会做你的沙罗曼蛇
I will go with you to the party. I will be your other salamander.
你在说什么 苏士怎么办
What are you talking about? What about Suze?
她该看看山洞没有火
She should see what it's like
是什么样
when her cave doesn't have any fire.
但我不是女野人 我还是人
But I'm not the cavewoman. I am still the man.
我们走吧
Let's just go.
你们要结婚了
You're getting married!
你好 小天使 抱歉我迟到了
Hey, angel, I'm so sorry I'm late.
没关系 我不介意
That's okay. I don't care.
我看着如何 这是我关心的
How do I look? That's what I care about.
你看着如何 你真美
How do you look? You look so beautiful.
真的吗 难以置信
Really? Incredible.
像淫♥荡♥的圣体宴对吗 没错
Like slutty first Holy Communion, right? Yes. Exactly.
那是高尔夫男吗
Is that Golf Guy?
不 这是查理 同事
No. This is Charlie, from work.
查理同事 很高兴见到你
Hi, Charlie from work. Nice to meet you.
感谢你邀请我
Thanks for having me.
你们大概都知道 我和许多人约会过
So, as most of you know, I have, um, dated a lot of guys.
听听 听听 这才是我姑娘
Hear, hear. That's my girl.
我喜欢他们很多东西
I've liked a lot of things about them.
好像 是的 我在这里遇到了麦克
Like, yeah. And then I met Mike over here,
他有许多不讨人喜欢的地方
and there was a lot to not like about him.
你们看看 他穿的像个继父
He, um, dresses like a stepdad, as you can see.
-他听信经 -都是老生常谈
- He listens to Creed. - Just their old stuff.
-没有讽刺意味 -对 但他们很好
- Non-ironically. - Okay, but they are good.
每次他听到喇叭 他就说 那是我的车
Every single time he hears a siren, he goes, "That's my ride."
顺便提一句 我觉得这非常有趣
This is super fun for me, by the way.
但是
And yet...
我完完全全爱上了他
Oh, man, I'm completely and totally in love with him.
我小时候 我祖母 经常说
When I was little, my grandmother, she used to say:
你的喜欢是因为 你的爱是虽然
"You like because, and you love despite."
你喜欢某人是因为他们的品质
You like someone because of all of their qualities,
你爱某人尽管他们有些品质不咋地
and you love someone despite some of their qualities.
麦基
Mikey...
我喜欢你就像我爱你
I like you almost as much as I love you,
我迫不及待要嫁给你
and I can't wait to marry you.
抱歉 你们快点喝醉 我要看笑话
Okay, sorry. Get drunk so I have fun stories to tell.
满上
Wow, all the way to the top.
我觉得我们不需要新的酒杯
I don't think we need new shot glasses.
谢谢
Thank you.
好的
Okay. All right.
-敬我最后一个上的人 -就是我 就是我
- Okay, to the last penis of my life. - That's me. That's me, yeah.
好 一 二 三
Oh, yeah. One, two, three.
那是我的车
That's my ride.
-他每次都这样 -我知道
- He does do it every time. - I know.
-你很擅长这个 -我像李小龙
- You're so good at that. - Oh, I'm just like Bruce Lee.
-我都不知道怎么了 -别想那么多
- I just don't even know what's going on. - Just stop thinking.
没人在意 我们跳舞吧 看看这群人
Nobody cares. Let's do it. Look at all these assholes.
想象你瘫痪了
Just imagine you're paralyzed,
突然 你的躯干又有了感觉
and all of a sudden, you get feeling back into your limbs.
现在你就像是商♥铺♥外面的充气人
Now you're one of those blow-up air men outside a car dealership.
那很
Yeah, that's...
别奇怪
Don't be weird.
瑞克和柯尔斯顿的但是是什么意思
What's Rick and Kirsten's "and yet"?
什么意思
What do you mean?
就是她说的因为 虽然 那里都是
That "because, love despite" thing, when there are all these...
明明有着这样那样无法走下去的理由
Like all these reasons why it shouldn't work out...
但他们不在意 就像罗密欧和朱丽叶
but they don't care. Like Romeo and Juliet.
我们两家是世仇 但是
Our families are mortal enemies, and yet...
瑞克和柯尔斯顿没有世仇
Rick and Kirsten don't have one.
那很好 你知道吗 我们
Well, that's good, you know? We...
他们不可能爱上对方的点点滴滴
I mean, they can't not like anything about each other.
还没有
Not yet.
但即使他们有友谊
But even friendships have them.
就像贝卡很野 很会喝酒
Like, Becca's wild, and she drinks too much,
她也从不准时付账 但我爱她
and she's never paid a bill on time, and yet I love her.
你喜欢贵的东西
You like expensive stuff...
让一个23岁的人利用你
and let a 23-year-old walk all over you,
你却心甘情愿
and yet you're tolerable.
我没让她利用我
I do not let her walk all over me.
抱歉 你的太阳眼镜呢
I'm sorry. Where are your sunglasses?
你说话太快 对每个人都太好
You talk way too fast, and you are way too nice to everyone...
很明显 除了我例外
except me, apparently...
但是 你是个糟糕的舞伴
and yet... you are a terrible dancer.
造句不是这样造的
That's not how it works.
我要吃披萨