牵线

我看到了你的潜能
I see so much potential in you.
但你需要变得更坚强
But you have to have tough skin.
所以 如果我是你遇到的最糟糕的人的话
So, if I'm the most awful person when this
即使行业里的麻烦对你而言很困难
shitstorm of an industry is hard on you,
我也明白你是有所准备的
I know that you'll be prepared.
我的厨师A系列就会是这样的灾难
MyChef Series A is gonna be such a disaster.
我们很聪明 没有投资
We're so smart we didn't invest with them.
别忘了告诉琪琪
Don't forget to tell Kiki.
关于我的厨师
About MyChef?
不 当然不是 是婚礼
No, dummy. About the wedding.
还有约会 比她的早六个周
And the date. Six weeks before hers.
邀请她了吗
Is she invited?
寄给了她一大束雏菊 她不喜欢雏菊
Send her a big bouquet of daisies. She hates daisies.
写了张小纸条 上面写着 哈哈
With a note that says, "Ha, ha.
我要打败你了
I'm gonna beat you to the altar.
但是今晚 我们一起敲击靴子
But tonight, we're gonna knock boots
就跟以前我们在那艘瑞士小船上一样
like we did on that Swiss gondola."
-然后 很显然 -怎么了
- And, obviously - what?
告诉柯尔斯顿我今天晚上有事
Tell Kirsten I have a meeting or something tonight.
我还以为
Well... I just thought, uh...
我还在想你不是要和柯尔斯顿结婚吗
I thought you were gonna marry Kirsten.
对啊 你提醒我了 这周去珠宝店
Yeah, I am. Which reminds me. This week, go to a ring spot
买♥♥一枚大到可以从太空中看见的戒指
and get a ring so big, you can see that shit from space.
这儿的食物太糟糕了
Food here sucks.
查理 你成功了
Charlie, you did it.
什么 我没有
What? Well, I didn't.
我也成功了 我们都做到了
I did it. We both did it.
你在说啥呢
What are we talking about?
我知道我们一开始只为了自己
I know this started out selfishly for us,
但是我们让两个人相爱了
but we made two people fall in love.
我们让两个可怜人感到开心
We made two miserable people happy.
我考虑过最好的状况 他们才约会一个月
I thought best-case, they'd date for a month.
但是他们真心喜欢对方
But they actually really like each other.
我们改变了他们的生活
We changed their lives.
我为我们骄傲 我们做了一件非常好的事
I'm proud of us. I think we did something really good.
我也这么觉得
Me, too.
所以我在看肯奈尔湾度假村
So, I was looking at the Caneel Bay Resort.
他们下周六还有档期
They have a slot next Saturday.
你能来帮我选一枚戒指吗
Will you come help me pick out the ring?
当然不行
Absolutely not.
我需要回办公室 把这些东西放下
I gotta go to the office, drop off these things.
拜托 你肯定比我在行
Please? You're better at this than me.
我需要女性的专业建议
I need female expertise.
你知道柯尔斯顿的喜好
You know what Kirsten likes.
你最漂亮了 你最有魅力了 你最机智了
You're beautiful. You're charming. You are witty.
-你最聪明了 -行吧 好
- You are clever... - Okay, fine.
赞 太好了 如果你要回办公室
Yes! Great. If you're going back to the office,
能把我桌子上瑞克的个人信♥用♥卡♥拿来吗
can you grab Rick's personal Amex on my desk?
你需要提醒我 如果你要
You gotta warn me if you're gonna
在我工作时间发来那样的照片
send me photos like that when I'm at work.
不 不 我当然想看
Oh, no, no. Of course I want them.
我只是不想把它们跟一群日本银行家们分享
I don't wanna show them to a bunch of Japanese bankers.
今晚 你要穿那条红色的裙子
Tonight, you need to wear that red dress.
因为你那样穿太性感了
Because you look so hot in that dress.
我都无法集中注意力
I can't concentrate.
那就好 我努力健身
Good. I don't work this hard on
就是希望我的身体能吸引人
this body for it not to be a distraction.
我们不再是夫妻了
We're not married anymore
所以我没必要听你的话去穿什么
so you can't tell me what to wear.
我们可以试试我们在蜜月做过的那件事吗
Can we try that thing we did on our honeymoon?
-你觉得在太空也能看到它吗 -当然
- You think you could see this from space? - Yes.
这就是那位幸运的姑娘吗
Hi. Oh, is this the lucky lady?
你觉得柯尔斯顿会怎么看血钻
How do you think Kirsten feels about blood diamonds?
给你 我拿到这张卡的时候太奇怪了
Here. It was so weird when I got the card.
我听到瑞克在电♥话♥里和别人在调情
I heard Rick flirting with somebody on the phone.
我觉得柯尔斯顿正在开会
But I think Kirsten in a meeting.
你觉得这是怎么回事
What do you think that was?
我觉得那可能是
I... What I think it probably was,
他可能想留一个超性感的
he likes to leave like a super-sexy
语♥音♥给她去听
little voicemail for her to listen to.
稍后听
And hear later.
我觉得柯尔斯顿喜欢黄宝石
I think Kirsten likes topaz.
你觉得她喜欢黄宝石吗
Do you think she likes topaz?
当然 你觉得琪琪喜欢黄宝石吗
Pretty sure. Do you think Kiki likes topaz?
她和瑞克在电♥话♥里调情的时候
She didn't mention it
可没提这件事
when she and Rick were having phone sex.
你唬我 刚刚是一个圈套
You tricked me. That was entrapment.
你刚刚承认了
You just admitted it.
你骗了我 你早就知道了
You lied to me. You knew.
就这一次 确实是个错误
It's one time. It was a mistake.
并不能说明什么
Doesn't mean anything.
在我们为他做了这么多事之后
After everything we did for him
他糊涂了 他只是需要
He's confused. He just needed to get it
在婚礼之前从他的习惯里走出来
out of his system before the wedding.
婚礼
The wedding?
他们不能结婚了 查理
They can't still get married, Charlie.
这是为了婚礼吗 我有一个超棒的推荐
Oh, this is for a wedding. I actually have a great selection.
给我们一点空间 谢谢
We need one minute. Thank you.
哈珀 我们能不告诉她吗
Harper, we can keep this from her.
我们控制着他们的通话 邮件
We control their phones, their e-mails.
我们是幕后主使
We're the men behind the curtain.
她没必要知道这些
She doesn't have to know about this.
你想帮瑞克去骗柯尔斯顿吗
You wanna help Rick cheat on Kirsten?
我们已经伪造了他们的整段关系
We have faked their entire relationship.
现在就一件事出错了 突然在幕后工作
Now one thing goes wrong and it's like a crime
就像是犯罪一样了吗
to suddenly work behind the scenes?
不是
No.
从来就是不对的
It was never okay.
但是现在你愿意去毁掉别人的人生
But now you're willing... to ruin somebody's life
只是为了你可以和一些无聊的女孩儿约会
just so you can keep dating some boring girl
并且在无关紧要的工作中忙的久一点
and work longer hours in a job that does not matter.
我毁了谁的人生 他们的吗
Whose life am I ruining? Their life？
他们没有生活 是我们给了他们生活
They had no lives. We gave them lives.
你比瑞克更坏
You're worse than Rick.
瑞克是一个自私的
Rick is... He's a selfish,
肤浅的混♥蛋♥ 但是他自己也没办法
superficial asshole, but he can't help it.
你本来可以是一个好人的
You could be a good person,
但是你要当一个混♥蛋♥
but you wanna be an asshole.
你太执着于升职和变成瑞克
You're so obsessed with getting promoted and becoming Rick.
以至于你选择成为一个人♥渣♥
You're choosing to be a piece of shit.
别再假装这是某种道德困境了
Stop pretending this is some moral dilemma.
你只是怕自己再也当不成助理了
You are afraid not to be an assistant anymore.
胡扯
That's ridiculous.
这么多空闲时间你写出什么东西了吗
Have you written anything with all this free time?
随便什么
Anything?
你完成了一篇文章或者按计划做了吗
You finish one article or you just keep planning to?
我觉得你宁愿拿着咖啡到处跑
I think you'd rather run around, getting Kirsten coffee
也不愿意坐下
than sit down,
写些什么然后发现自己糟糕透了
write something and find out you suck.
我要告诉柯尔斯顿
I'm telling Kirsten.
所有的真♥相♥
The whole truth.
所有的
All of it.
不 不 不 对不起 这是个
No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. That was the...
你没有被捕 把你的手放下来
You're not under arrest. Put your hands down.
你需要把戒指拿下来 总是发生这种事
We need to get the ring off. This happens all the time.
当然不是你俩合谋
Not the part where you two collaborate
欺骗你的上司
to, like, trick your bosses
去约会然后发展的 我并没有偷听
into dating and then it blows... I wasn't listening.
-要蛋糕吗 -我要尝一个
- Anyone for cake? - I'll try one.
对不起我出现了
Uh, I'm sorry to just show up.