牵线

你忘了这个
You forgot this.
谢谢 说真的 你救了我
Thanks. Honestly, you saved me.
如果我真的不得不听其他女人谈论
If I have to hear another woman talk about
自从怀孕后她们的乳♥头♥
how much her nipples changed
变了多少 我会杀了我自己的
since giving birth, I'll kill myself.
我发誓 哈珀
I swear to God, Harper.
我和未婚妻走到这里
I walked in here with a fiancé,
突然我就是团队的一员了
and suddenly, I'm a member of a club.
她们只想讨论要孩子的事
All they wanna talk about is plan to having kids.
首先 我要成为一名继母
First, I have to be a stepmother.
我不认为你应该成为继母
I don't think you should be a stepmother.
我不认为你应该和瑞克结婚
I don't think you should marry Rick
因为你并不是真的喜欢他
because you don't actually like him.
-我当然爱他了 -不 你不爱
- Of course I do. I love him. - No, you don't.
所有的事 你们之间的关系
This whole thing, your whole relationship,
都不是真的
it's not real.
你在说什么啊
What are you talking about?
我和瑞克的助理设计了一切
Rick's assistant and I set you up.
不 怎么可能
No, you didn't.
我们把电梯停了所以你们才相遇
We shut down the elevator so you'd meet.
洋基队的比赛 是我让你上的接吻镜头
The Yankees game, I got you on the Kiss Cam.
你们分手的时候是我们教他应该怎么说
And when you guys broke up we told him what to say.
楠塔基特岛 那些花
Nantucket, the flowers,
所有的一切都是我们安排的
all of it,that was us.
是我们让你们觉得相互喜欢
We made you think you liked each other.
实际上你并不认识他 你也不会喜欢他
But you don't know this guy. You don't like him.
你对他的感觉 不是真的
What you feel for him, it's not real.
你根本不知道什么才是真实
You have no idea what is real.
你觉得你懂什么是亲密关系吗
You think you understand the intimacy of a relationship?
你才25岁 我不管它怎么开始的
You're 25. I don't care how it started.
-他没有看到你 -别说了
- He doesn't see you. - Stop talking.
你被解雇了
You're fired.
什么
What?
滚
Get out.
票订好了吗
Tickets booked?
是的
Uh... Yeah. Yes.
订好了
They are.
为了婚礼
For the wedding.
行
Cool.
柯尔斯顿·史蒂文斯的办公室
Kirsten Stevens' office.
我知道你现在不想和我说话
I know you don't wanna talk to me right now
-但是听我说完 -你是哪位
- but just hear me out. - Who is this?
哈珀
Harper?
我在负责柯尔斯顿的事物
I'm covering Kirsten's desk.
有什么可以帮你的吗
Can I help you with something?
没有
No.
谢谢你
Thank you.
待会儿来喝一点吗
Coming to drinks later?
我们认为市值被高估了
We thought the market cap was overvalued.
我们研究了大学城 惊喜的发现
We looked at college towns, and surprisingly
做个人吧你
You gotta be better.
并没有什么用
This is not working.
妈妈 我发现参观婚礼场地
Mom, it turns out touring wedding venues
比参观大学好玩多了
is so much more fun than touring colleges,
因为所有吃的喝的都不要钱
because of all the free food and booze out...
我待会儿再联♥系♥你
Oh, I gotta call you back.
我的天呐
Oh, my God.
这就像龙♥卷♥风♥袭击了一个中国人
It is like a tornado hit a Chinese...
你还好吗
Hey, are you okay?
你为什么没去工作 哈珀
Why are you not at work? Harper.
因为我被炒了
Because I got fired.
真的吗
Really?
这真的太棒了
That's amazing.
恭喜你
Congratulations.
不是吗
Right?
你还好吗
Are you okay?
我在那儿花了好多时间
I spent so much time there.
而且我一篇文章都写不出
And I never wrote a single article.
现在柯尔斯顿恨我
Now Kirsten hates me.
她也绝不会帮我
And she'll never help me.
我真的不擅长这个 我花了一个月尝试
I'm bad at this. I've been trying to write the same article
写同样的文章 贝卡
for months, Becca.
但是它太糟了 我完不成了
And it's so bad I can't finish it.
你的第一稿当然写不好
Of course your first draft is gonna be bad.
它会很糟糕
It's gonna be terrible.
但是你知道该怎么办吗 哈珀
Then you know what you do, Harper?
你修改它 然后把它变得更好
You go back and you make it better.
但是你没办法让它变好除非你付出行动啊
But you can't make it better until you actually do it.
你才不是一个坏作家 别再顾影自怜了
You're not a bad writer yet. Stop feeling sorry for yourself
放手去写就好了
and just write something bad.
是的 柯尔斯顿是很刻薄
Yes, Kirsten was mean.
但是你从她那儿学了好多
But you learned so much from her.
你只是没机会去用它们
You just never had the time to use it.
但是现在 亲爱的 你有时间了
And now, bud, you got the time.
所以赶紧开始行动吧
So, get off your bony little ass and just do it!
我要写
I'm gonna write...
有史以来最烂的文章
the shittiest article ever written.
太棒了 一定烂透了 我好想看
Yes. It's gonna suck ass. I can't wait to read it.
行 我要开始了
Okay. I got this.
你要整理一下吗 或者我们请个人
Are you cleaning this up or we gonna hire someone?
在我写完一整篇之前
I am not leaving this chair
我是不会离开这把椅子的
until I write an entire article.
真好 对我来说可是个好消息
Great. That's great news for me.
能给我来些免费的薯片和水吗
Can I get some free chips and water?
我总想来这吃
I always wanted to eat here.
这是卡戴珊举办侃爷生日派对的地方
This is where Kim threw Kanye's half-birthday party.
我们最好的位置
Our best table.
好激动啊
This is exciting.
这是我吃过最好吃的饭了
This is the best meal I've ever had.
我吃过最好吃的饭
The best meal I ever had
是从消防楼梯扔过去的五块钱的披萨
was a $5 pizza thrown up a fire escape.
什么
What?
这里太烂了
This sucks.
这地方太烂了
This whole place sucks.
味道很奇怪 也很出奇的安静
It smells weird. It's far too quiet.
这牛排虽然很香 但是不值70美元
And this steak is delicious. It is not worth $70.
你我之间从来没聊过天
And you and I, we never talk about anything.
我不想变得很混♥蛋♥
I don't want to wanna be an asshole.
别发疯了 赶紧吃你的牛排吧
You sound insane. Just eat your steak.
如果15岁的我看到我现在这个样子
If my 15-year-old self would see me now,
绝对会把我往死里打
he would punch me in the dick.
我不想在维持这个关系了 苏士
I don't wanna do this anymore, Suze.
但你是我"备胎"啊
But you're my backup.
你知道吗
You know what?
随便点 我请你
Order whatever you want, on me.
我在干什么呀 你又不是我女朋友了
What am I doing? You're not my girlfriend anymore.
把钱给我 我又不是慈善家
Give me that. I'm not Rockefeller.
洛克菲勒:美国资本家，晚年投身慈善事业
哈珀 你是对的
Harper. You were right.
我们得阻止他们结婚 我现在赶去机场
We can't let them do this. I'm going to JFK.
JFK：肯尼迪机场
在候机楼等我
Meet me at the terminal.
就廉价的那一件
It's the cheap one.
没时间啦 你们留着吧
Don't have time. Leaving the coat.
帮我叫个出租车 我得立刻去机场
I need a taxi. I gotta get to the airport right now.
我得阻止某人结婚
I gotta stop someone from getting married.
距离飞机起飞还有
Flight leaves in... Oh.
我看看 四个小时
I got, like, four hours.
时代广场已经去过了
And we've been to Times Square.
博物馆怎么样 去大都会博物馆吗
What about museums? Should we go to the Met?
不知道 话说 你喜欢那种心灵鸡汤式的
I don't know. I mean... Do you like beautiful art that makes you