牵线

我们不是秘密机构 说电梯就行了
You're not in the Secret Service. You can say "elevator."
我们就要打开潘多拉的盒子了
We're a go for Pandora's Box.
收到
Copy that.
她在那
There she is.
好 你能在她那一层停下吗
Okay, can you stop at her floor?
说说话啊
Say something.
什么
What?
现在都没人看对方的眼睛吗
Does no one look each other in the eyes anymore?
哇 哇 哇 这家伙是谁
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who's this guy?
好 你可以走了 先生
Okay, you need to go, sir.
你出去吧
Make your way out.
你们和我想的是一样的吗
Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?
-计划终止 -是时候了
- Call it off. - It's go time.
搞什么鬼
What the hell?
你们有说什么吗
What did you guys say?
天啊 天啊 别
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, no.
你能把它重启吗
Can you start it back up?
谢谢 天啊 我有重度幽闭恐惧症
Thank you, God. I'm extremely claustrophobic.
这就遭了
That would've been bad.
可是你在卡车里工作
But you work on a truck.
随它吧 瑞克
Let it go, Rick.
你的工作需要坐电梯
Your job is to ride elevators.
你的幽闭恐惧症怎么办
How are you claustrophobic?
我通常走楼梯 但今天是个大日子
I usually take the stairs. But today was really a big day for me.
可以了 我们就别把这搞得更糟了
Okay, let's not make it any worse.
-你干嘛这么做 -这不是我
- Why did you do that? - That wasn't me.
这大概是真的系统失灵了
I think it might be an actual system malfunction.
天啊
Oh, my God.
这以前从没发生过
This has never happened before.
讽刺啊 你这变化无常的女王
Oh, irony, you fickle queen.
我的噩梦总是这么开始的
Yup. This is how it always starts in my nightmare.
那就来吧 好吧
Here we go. All right.
我们只是需要冷静下来
We just all need to calm down.
-你在干什么 -他在干什么
- Uh, what are you doing? - What is he doing?
是不是变热了
Is it getting hot in here?
不要那么做了 拜托 现在停下
Stop doing that, please. Stop that right now.
-我要摆脱这些 -停下
- I need to be free of this. - Stop that.
好的
Okay.
好吧 裤子脱了 我要打消防员电♥话♥
Okay, the pants are off. I'm calling the firefighters.
别 我在找真正的警♥察♥
Don't. I'm calling the real police.
好吧 这个按钮就是专门设计来
Okay, this button is specifically designed
应对这种紧急情况
for this type of emergency.
准确地说你需要的是真正的紧急应变小组
Exactly you want the actual emergency response team,
而不是电梯小组的那些混♥蛋♥
not the jackoffs assigned to the Elevator Squad.
不 也许我们可以做根绳子
No. Maybe we can make a rope.
你得不到回应的 它已经在叫了
You're not gonna get service. It's already ringing.
不好意思
Excuse me.
你看 如果我们同时按下它
Look, If we press it at the same time,
这会搞乱系统
it'll confuse the system.
它已经在叫了
It was already ringing.
我要尿了 我就要尿了
I gotta pee. I'm gonna pee.
如果你尿了 我会了结了你
If you pee, I will end your life.
这是压力性尿失禁 是一个真实状况
This is stress incontinence. That is a real condition
而你一点忙也帮不上
and you are not helping.
我要顺其自然了
I'm gonna listen to my body.
别尿
Don't pee.
尿了
Pee.
别在这里尿 别在这里尿
Do not pee in there. Do not pee in the...
晚了 已经尿出来了
It's too late. I'm dripping.
你好
Hello.
就算我不太擅长解读房♥间情况
I'm not great at reading rooms,
我也知道这是个成功
but I can tell that was a success.
只能算还好啦
It was okay.
开玩笑吗
Are you kidding? Hmm?
刚刚那是场灾难 他们已经彼此仇恨了
That was a disaster. They hate each other.
仇恨 是可以和解的 爱的反面不是仇恨
Hate, we can work with. Hate is not the opposite of love.
你知道爱的反面是什么吗
Do you know what the opposite of love is?
-是冰 -是冷漠
- Ice. - Indifference.
好吧 说得很对 恐怖蒂姆
Well, that's also very true, Creepy Tim.
人们叫我恐怖蒂姆啊
People call me Creepy Tim?
没有
No.
我挺喜欢
I love it.
你的干洗衣服在车里
Your dry cleaning's in the car,
关于西蒙·拜尔斯的简介
and I forwarded you Jeff's itinerary
我已经把杰夫的日程转发给你了
for the Simone Biles profile.
对了 貌似那个和你一起
And, also, apparently some guy
困在电梯里的人
you were stuck in the elevator with
找保安要你的联络方式
asked security for your contact info.
-是那个快递小哥吗 -不是
- Was it the delivery man? - No.
好像是也在这楼里工作的什么大佬
Um, some big shot who works in the building.
我猜他是看上你了
I guess he has a crush on you or something.
不过别担心 我跟他们说了不会把你号♥码
But don't worry, I told them we do not
给出去的 好吗
give out your number, okay?
我听说你和那个体育记者
I heard you got stuck in an elevator
困在电梯里了 柯尔斯顿
with that sports reporter. Kirsten...?
柯尔斯顿·史蒂文斯 我就知道我在哪见过她
Kirsten Stevens. I knew I recognized her from somewhere.
我听说马克·库班在考虑投资她的网站
I think Mark Cuban is thinking about investing in her site.
好了 我搞定了 下面呢
Okay, I did it. What now?
瑞克有位置不错的洋基票吗
Does Rick have good Yankees tickets?
不 他像个普通老百姓坐板凳上看比赛的
No, he watches from the bleachers like a common peasant.
他当然有
Of Course he does.
查理
Charlie?
我真的很抱歉
Hi, I'm so sorry.
真的真的抱歉 我到早了
So so so so sorry. I got here so early
我以为我有时间到处晃晃的
that I thought I had time to dick around,
然后我就去了那边的礼品店
so I went to that gift shop.
谁知道忘了时间突然就晚了
Then I lost track of time and suddenly I was late.
这是我听过最蠢的事
That's the dumbest thing I've heard.
-这肯定不是真的 -是真的
- That is not a real thing. - Yes, It is.
这叫逛过头了 我逛过头了
It's the over-dick-around thing. I over-dicked it.
你为什么穿成这样
Why are you wearing that?
因为我要去看棒球比赛
Because I'm going to a baseball game.
那你为什么要穿成那样
Why are you wearing that?
我又不比赛 为什么要穿球衫
I'm not on the team. Why would I wear the jersey?
我去看医生也不会穿白大褂
I don't wear scrubs to the doctor's office.
我去买♥♥玉米片
I'm gonna go get nachos.
我犯了个错误
I've made a mistake.
你在干嘛 快来啊
What are you doing? Come on!
-波比 -哈珀
- Bobby? - Harper?
好的 我需要你帮忙 我们需要
Okey, I need a favor. We need...
这俩人
the people...
这俩座位上的俩 亲热
in these two seats right here to make out.
他们长什么样
What do they look like?
一个超级漂亮的黑发女子
One is a stunning beautiful woman with dark hair
看起来同时很吓人和鼓舞人的刚烈
and a fierceness that's both scary and inspiring.
另一个就是个男的
The other is a guy.
-你知道我搞得定这种事 -很好
- You know I can make this happen. - Good.
40号♥路易斯·塞韦里诺
Number 40, Luis Severino.
洋基队24岁的多米尼加投手在垒上准备开始
Yankees' 24-year-old Dominican pitcher is on the mound to start.
瑞克已经到了 如果你看见
So, Rick's here. If you see the...
你看见U了吗 就在U的上面
You see the U? He's right above the U.
你有望远镜吗 给我看看
Do you have a telescope so I can see him?
-座位这么远不违法吗 -这座位好极了
- Are seats this far back illegal? - These seats are the best.
这上面有个小团体 还能看到整个球场
There's a community up here. And you can see the whole field.
这还有丹尼斯
And there's Dennis.
你好 小甜心 怎么样啊
Hi, sweetheart. How you doing?
就是丹尼斯介绍我进的老年奥利匹克
Dennis is the one introduced me to the Gerilympics.
他是举重冠军
He's a heavy weightlifting champ.
他是什么重量级 负10吗
What does he bench, negative 10?
我听到了 你个小混♥蛋♥
I heard that, you little pissant.