止痛骗（2023）

- Yes. - No.
你说你在阿默斯特大学 拿到了药学学位
Says you got your pharmacy degree from Amherst.
- 我不知道他们有药学院 - 有的 是最好的药学院之一
- I didn't know they had a pharmacy school. - Yep. One of the best.
跟我说说 他们的吉祥物是什么?
Remind me. What's their mascot?
- 对不起 - 没事
- Excuse me. - It's okay.
告诉我们你的真实情况
What's your story, for real?
好的 真实情况
All right. For real.
Um...
离开学校后 我去卖♥♥轮胎了 最低工资加提成
Out of school I sold tires... for minimum wage plus commission,
但都被我的经理扣下了
which my manager kept.
就这么干了十年 我辞职了
Um, I did that for ten years, quit,
现在我以同样的方式卖♥♥浴室门
and now I do the same sort of shit selling shower doors.
持续气道正压通气仪器、热水浴缸...
Um, CPAP machines, hot tubs...
长尾小鹦鹉、精油 这些让阴♥茎♥充血的东西
Parakeets, essential oils, these pump-up penis things.
陪酒、大腿舞
Body shots. Lap dances.
我的尊严
My own dignity.
你为什么想卖♥♥药?
Why do you want to sell pharmaceuticals?
每当子女抚养费不能按时收到 我的孩子就得饿肚子
When the child support is late, my kid doesn't eat.
这样我就不必再对孩子们 隐瞒我的工作了
So I can stop lying to my kids about what I do for a living.
你凭什么认为你能用我们的药 搞定一个医生?
What makes you think you can close a doctor with our drug?
这是同类药物中最好的药
It's a best-in-class medication
起效时间是竞品的十分之一
with one-tenth the onset time of the competition.
因为为了10%的提成 让我吞着火的刀片我都乐意
Because, for a 10% commission, I'd eat flaming razor blades.
因为我和普兰特城的 一个肿瘤学家上♥床♥
Because I'm banging an oncologist in Plant City.
我为马里布朗姆酒做过现场营销
I did field marketing for Malibu Rum,
我还是彭萨科拉的夏威夷热带小姐
and I was Miss Hawaiian Tropic, Pensacola.
- 绝对不行 - 天啊 是的
- Hell no. - Sweet Jesus, yes.
拜托
Come on.
因为我爸是疼痛科医生
Because my dad's a pain doc,
他说如果你们雇我的话 他会开你们的药
and he said he'll write your drug if you hire me.
“限速65 实速67”?
67 in a 65?
欢迎加入团队
Welcome to the team.
绝对不行
Hell to the motherfucking no.
如果你让我雇我妈 你就可以雇那个“性玩具”
You can hire the sex toy if I can hire my mom.
你会后悔的
You'll regret it.
你也会
So will you.
杰克博士的规矩
Dr. Jack's rule.
仅招博士
PhDs only.
他们都不是博士
Well, none of them are PhDs.
“贫穷、饥饿且愚蠢”
"Poor, hungry, and dumb."
就你而言 “拼命”就是你的博士学位
In your case, the "D" stood for "desperate."
(录取)
What you do today...
你们今天的行为...
(我能得到什么)
informs who you're gonna be tomorrow.
...揭示你们未来的成就
必须拼命努力 好似没有退路
You got to work it like your fucking back's against the wall.
不仅要在这个领域工作 更要霸占一席之地
You don't just work the territory, you own your territory.
好吗?霸占一席之地
Okay? You own your territory.
霸占一席之地 搞定医生
You own a territory, you own a doctor.
- 霸占一席之地 搞定医生 - 搞定医生
- You own your territory, you own a doctor. - Own a doctor.
- 霸占一席之地 搞定医生! - 搞定医生!
- You own your territory, you own a doctor! - Own a doctor!
- 霸占一席之地! - 搞定医生!
- Own a territory! - You own a doctor!
我们的生死 都掌握在诊所的看门人手上
We lived or died by the clinic gatekeepers,
而一个50岁的前台护士最恨的
and there's nothing a 50-year-old desk nurse
就是年纪只有她的一半大 收入却是她的两倍的年轻辣妹
hates more than a young hot thing half her age pulling twice her salary.
我需要知道我什么时候能见医生
Look, lady, I need to know when I get to see the doctor.
嘿 索尼娅 你还好吗?
Hey, Sonya. How are you?
(达文波特疼痛治疗)
- Good to see you. - Hey.
嘿
讨好医生是一门艺术 而非技术
Greasing doctors is an art, not a science.
每家制药公♥司♥都想贿赂他们
Every drug company's trying to put money in their hands.
你不能直接给他们钱 他们都觉得你身上装了窃听器
You can't just throw checks at 'em. They all think you're wearing a wire.
- 我只是不确定... - 不确定你能否信我?
- I'm just not quite sure... - That you can trust me?
医生 我有两笔房♥贷 三个孩子 其中一个需要特殊照顾
Doctor, I have two mortgages, three kids, one with special needs.
如果你加入我们的讲者团队 你就是我的合作伙伴和救命稻草
If you join our speakers bureau, you would be my partner and my lifeline.
我会为你赴汤蹈火 保护好你
I will walk through fire to protect you.
(匿名戒赌互助会)
Thank you for sharing, Doctor.
感谢您的分享 医生
永远不要忘记
And never forget.
一定要雇佣一个多才多艺的销♥售♥代表
Always hire a rep with versatility.
嘿 你跟我一起吗?
Hey, come with me? Just this first time.
就第一次跟我一起
Nope, it's time to spread your wings, little bird.
不 是时候展翅翱翔了 小鸟
你可以的
You got this.
当我们成功的竞争对手
And while our blue-chip competitors
在梅约诊所争抢一流医生时...
were fighting over the marquee MDs at the Mayo Clinic...
戴维斯医生?
Dr. Davis?
赞纳医疗的杰基·德雷克
Jackie Drake from Zanna.
...我们却在找 辉瑞公♥司♥都放不在眼里的医生
...we were going after the guys Pfizer wouldn't toss a free pen.
你还好吗?
How you doing?
嗯 我...现在特别好 谢谢
Well, I'm... doing especially well right now, thank you.
如果没有那一排不顾一切的销♥售♥代表
And without that platoon of desperate reps,
我们永远都找不到宝贵的 不顾一切的医生
we'd have never hit our gold mine of desperate doctors.
谢谢你们所有人的到来
- Thank you all for coming.
在我们的活动中 我们真正地了解到
The real education at our events was us learning the doctors
医生与其他人一样贪财好色
were just as greedy and horny as everyone else.
是什么让我们与众不同?
What made us different?
我跟我的销♥售♥代表说 不要把你的医生当作一场买♥♥卖♥♥
I'd tell my reps, like, don't treat your doctor like a sale.
要把他们当成家人、朋友
Be family to them. Be a friend.
我们会去机场接他们
We'd pick 'em up at the airport. Walk their dogs.
帮他们遛狗
如果他们喜欢民谣摇滚小夜曲 那就坐着听一曲
Sit through a folk-rock serenade if that's their thing.
他们需要我们
They needed us.
- 非常逼真 而且很厚实 - 这需要一点时间适应
- So real and thick. - It takes some getting used to.
- 但我很喜欢 - 是吗?
- But I like it. - Yeah?
我喜欢它带给我的感觉 我步伐更快了、感觉更高了
I like the way it makes me feel. I walk a little faster, little taller.
更开心自信一点
Got a skip in your step.
没想到能在这里见到你
Fancy seeing you here.
真香
Smells great.
? She got the shakes Yeah she shake it real cool ?
? Yeah, she make me start a-dancing Now she makes the rules ?
? Oh, yes! Yeah! ?
? You know we move, yes we move ?
? 'Cause we like our dancing, oh yes ?
? You know we move, yes we move ?
? 'Cause we like our dancing, uh yeah ?
限速65 实速67
67 in a 65.
也许我们开到了70
I mean, maybe we pushed it to 70,
但要攻占市场 把最好的药
but that's what it would take to storm the castle,
交给所需之人 这是必须之举
to get the best-in-class medication to people who needed it.
虽然手段不好看 但我们赢了
It wasn't pretty, but hey, we won.
(86%市场规模)
In one quarter, we'd gone from zero to 86% market share in the southeast.
一个季度 我们在东南部的市场份额 就从零增加到了86%
搞定医生!
Own the doctor!
搞定人生!
Own your destiny!
即使我们用了 不光彩的手段获胜 但最终
And even if we won dirty, at the end of the day,
我们的药物送到了 真正需要它们的人手中
our medicine was reaching the people who really needed it.
你知道吗?周六 我说 “孩子们 我们去干点什么吧
What's remarkable? On Saturday, I said, "Kids, we're gonna do something."
妈妈不疼了” 然后我们去远足了 你能相信吗?
"Mommy is out of pain." We went hiking, if you can believe that.
- 难以置信 - 希德尼 医生现在见你
I couldn't.
The doctor will see you now, Sidney.
大家都很开心
Everyone was happy. Well, except the competition.
除了竞争对手
Mmm.
你自我感觉良好?
Feel good about yourself?
偷了我的医生?
Stealing my doctors?
让癌症患者停掉 你的有毒棒棒糖感觉很好
Feel great getting cancer patients off your toxic lollipop.
你以为自己很了不起吗? 你就是个笑话
You think you're big shit, huh? You're a joke.
大家都在嘲笑 你在脱衣舞俱乐部举办的
Everybody's laughing about your off-brand speaker programs
上不了台面的讲者计划
you're holding at the nudie bar.
就像你们被禁的计划一样好笑 因为你们是骗子
Almost as funny as your programs that are banned 'cause you're crooks.
这只意味着我们 可以用我们所有营销预算
That just means we can devote our entire marketing budget
摧毁你们这些小劳工
to destroy your little peon asses.
- 你们唤醒了睡龙之怒 - 睡龙是营销部的吗?
- Y'all woke the dragon. - Dragon's in the marketing department?
他是肛♥交♥部的 他会喜欢你的
- He's in the butt-fucking department. - Ooh.
真是等不及了呢 嗨 莱德尔医生!
And he's gonna love you.
Can't wait. Hi, Dr. Lydell!
慢慢享用你的马卡龙
Enjoy your macaroons.
- 你一直在用那个椭圆机吗? - 当然有啊
- Have you been using that elliptical? - Sure bet.
- 你看起来很不错 - 正在努力练五公里跑
- You look so good. - Working my way up to a 5k.