欢乐颂

-对不起 -天啊
- I'm sorry. - Jesus Christ.
好吧 你是对的 确实不好笑
Okay. You're right. It is not funny.
我醒来时光着上半身
You know, I came to naked on my back..
半个宿舍都是紧急医护人员和警♥察♥
...surrounded by EMTs, the RA, half the dorm.
爱丽丝以为我死了
Alice thought I'd died.
自那以后我强迫自己别再找女友了
I mostly steered clear of girlfriends since then.
我 我都付不起保险费用了
I... I can't afford the insurance.
直到现在这都是你的一个大♥麻♥烦 对吗
Today was a really big deal for you, wasn't it?
这也是我的一个大♥麻♥烦
It was a really big deal for me too.
记得我从不跟和我有希望的男人约会吗
Remember I never date guys I think I have a future with?
咱们现在就别想那些了
Let's quit while we're ahead.
我冒了险 显而易见这不是个好主意
I took a risk. It was obviously a bad idea.
别担心那个了
Oh, hey, don't worry about it.
咱们就慢慢来 坚持到无聊至极的地步
We'll just take it slow. We'll stick to really boring...
不管用的
It's not gonna work.
等等 就像是 植物花♥园♥
Wait, like, um, the botanical gardens...
不用管的 没那么简单
It's not gonna work. It's not that simple.
研讨会 论文集 罗斯福岛
Symposiums, lectures, Roosevelt Island...
求你别说了
Please... stop.
-我需要再检查一遍 -当然
- I need to check you again. - Sure.
我真的和你度过了一段美好时光
Look, I had a really good time with you.
我想记住那种感觉
I just wanna remember it that way.
好的 请往我这看
Alright. Look at me, please.
痛感 一到十级 十级最痛
Pain, scale of one to ten, ten is highest?
二级
Uh, two.
-好的 有着凉吗 -没
- Alright. Any chills? - Um, no.
-头晕吗 -不
- Dizziness? - No.
-不晕吗 头痛呢 -不痛了已经
- No? Headache? - Not anymore.
他的老兔子呢 男孩的家庭教师问道
"'How about his old bunny?' the boy's governess asked.
在那 医生说
"'That, ' said the doctor.
为什么 那就是一大块猩红热细菌啊
"'Why, it's a mass of scarlet fever germs.
把它烧干净了
"Burn it at once!'
所以小兔子被放到了袋子里
"And so the little rabbit was put into a sack
随着那些旧图画书和垃圾
"with the old picture books and a lot of rubbish
一起被带到花♥园♥的尽头
"and carried out to the end of the garden.
那是个生起篝火的好地方
That was a fine place to have a bonfire."
这个故事太悲伤了 读点有趣的
This story is sad. Read something funny.
-对啊 有趣的 -对 有趣的
- Yeah, funny. - Yeah, funny.
听着 这个故事是有寓意的
Look, this story is actually about something.
-要好玩的 -衰啊
- Funny! - Boo!
-是吗 -把它扔到篝火里
- Really? - Throw it in the bonfire.
好吧 我试试这本书
Alright. I'll try this little baby here.
这本叫做 "我的好奶奶去哪了"
This one is called "Where Did My Sweet Grandma Go?"
好的 好了 休息时间上个厕所吧
Okay. Alright, alright! Time for a potty break, gang.
对 你们知道一会儿会怎么样的
Yeah, you know what's goin' on.
等咱们回来的时候 也许查理先生会讲
When we come back, maybe Mr. Charlie will read
"臭屁狗沃尔特" 怎么样
"Walter The Farting Dog," huh?
-好啊 -好耶
- Yeah! - Yeah!
臭屁狗 臭屁狗 臭屁狗
Farts! Farts! Farts! Farts! Farts! Farts!
给你们透露一下
For your information
沃尔特会放屁是因为他吃人吃的东西
Walter farts because he's been fed human food.
实际上很悲伤的
It's actually very sad.
这图书馆之旅衰到爆
This field trip sucks.
这样不好 迪安杰罗 知道吗
Not nice, Deangelo. Okay?
查理先生要生一天的气了
Mr. Charlie's havin' a grumpy day.
别在意查理 他的爸爸们要离婚了
Ignore him, Charlie. His dads are gettin' a divorce.
我的天啊
Hmm. Oh, my God.
-她怎么来了 -肯定没什么好事
- Oh, what is she doing here? - Nothing good.
-怎么了 -你们好
- What's up? - Hey.
我先走了
Cool.
你怎么样查理
How you doin', Charlie?
我 我感觉糟透了
I... I feel terrible.
你有个很精心设计的约会计划
You had a nice, depressing date planned
然后被我毁了 还让你头摔破了
and I ruined it and made you crack your head open.
-我觉得你该走了 -等等 没事吧
-I think you should go. -Wait. Is everything okay?
我不知道该怎么说
I don't know how to answer that.
你回来工作了
You're back at work.
好吧 然后一切都好起来了
Fine, then everything's stupendous.
听我说 我知道 你想慢慢来
Look, I know, you wanted to take things slow
我搞砸了
and I messed it up.
我 我只是
I... I just..
我想 我想通过身体的接触
I think I... I tried to get physical
因为我想避开一些
because I was trying to escape
我们情感上的联♥系♥
the emotional connection we were having and...
小弗 别说了行吗
Fran, stop it, please?
我不想继续了 我做不到
I don't wanna do this. I can't do it.
要是你想找个男友 我不是合适人选
If you're looking for a boyfriend, I'm not him.
哦 拜托查理 我就是想说明
Oh, come on, Charlie, I'm just trying to figure out
我为什么要这样做
why I do this thing.
你想找乐吗 你想逃脱什么吗
You wanna have fun? You want to escape?
-来 认识下我兄弟 -等等 啥
- Look, meet my brother. - Wait, what?
我 我不想再找其他人了 查理
I... I don't want another relationship, Charlie.
没关系 那你就找不到了
That's fine. You won't get one.
我保证不出六周 他就会离开这里
I guarantee within six weeks, he is out of there.
六周就是四十二天
Six weeks is forty two days.
是啊 乘法学得不错啊 弗雷德里克
Yes, awesome multiplication, Frederick.
你敢信 这孩子才五岁
You believe this kid? Five years old.
他是个性感的幼儿园男老师
He's a hot male kindergarten teacher.
看看他的下巴的轮廓 去烦他吧
Look at that jawline. Snap him up.
嘿 库博帮我个忙
Hey, Cooper, do me a favor.
带这位女士出去喝杯咖啡
Take this lovely lady out for a coffee.
跟她说说你和丽莎·明奈利出去跳伞那回事
Tell her about the time you went skydiving with Liza Minnelli.
纠正一下 他是个亚洲人
Correction, it was a small Asian man
长得像丽莎·明奈利
who looked like Liza Minnelli.
我有点糊涂了 坦白说还有点生气
I'm so confused, and frankly a little offended.
我不想和你兄弟出去喝咖啡 无意冒犯
I don't wanna get coffee with your brother. No offense.
你们去喝茶还是吃冰棍儿
Then go for tea or popsicles
还是哪都不去 我不在乎
or don't go at all. I don't care.
请你 让我一个人待着好吗
Just, please, leave me alone.
-杰夫·周 -什么
- Jeff Cho. - What?
他叫杰夫·周
His name was Jeff Cho.
天啊 真是个错误的决定
Oh, man, that was such a mistake.
我想听他说什么呢
What was I hopin' to hear?
"你想把我杀了 但还好 没关系"
"Oh, you tried to kill me, but that's alright. We're cool."
听着 我知道你感觉很糟糕
Look, I know you feel bad.
听我一句 查理会没事的
Take it from me. Charlie's gonna be fine.
他已经习惯了 我都见过他
He's used to this. I've seen that guy pass out
在到钓鱼之后晕倒 好吗
after he caught a fish, okay?
有次他在爆米花盒底发现中奖了
One time he found a prize at the bottom of a box
然后就晕了
of Corn Pops. Gone.
每次飞机队赢了 这很不容易
Every time the Jets win, which luckily is very rare...
有那么一会儿 我觉得自己很特别
For a second there, I thought I was special.
你知道我说什么 拜托
Oh, you know what I mean. Come on.
我知道 你的建议很有用
I do, and I am very comforted by your insults.
-很好 -谢谢 库博
- Great. - Thanks, Cooper.
那是你的姓吗 我以前没听说过
Is that a family name? I've never heard that before.
-在狗狗死后起的 -骗人的吧
Named after the dog. That's not true.
是真的 百分之百真的
It is true. 100%.
对 它叫圣伯纳德
Yeah, it was a Saint Bernard.
我出生后它就死了
He died just before I was born
然后查理开始叫我库博
and Charlie started callin' me Cooper.
我猜是因为我出生时头发不少
I guess I was a hairy baby.
好吧 谢谢你给我打气
Well, thanks for the pep talk.
回见
See you around.
等等 你去哪
Hey, where are you headed?
-中砺山 -正好
-Uh, Cobble Hill. -That's great.
我们会经过那里 可以带你去
That's right on our way. We'll give you a ride.
-好 -提醒一下
-Okay. -Just a heads up.
我们坐的是一辆黄色校车
The ride's a big yellow school bus.
好啊 没问题
Yeah, alright. Sure.