兜风（2023）

Is Kazakhstan even in Asia?
他们有时候看起来有点像亚洲人
They look kind of Asian sometimes.
哦 我的天啊 - 好了 绝对种族歧视
Oh, my God! - Okay. Racist.
我自♥慰♥的时候 偶尔会幻想斯普林特
When I masturbate, I sometimes fantasize about Splinter.
*《忍♥者神龟》中的忍♥术大♥师♥
他来自亚洲 - 他是只老鼠
He's Asian. - He's a rat.
他是一位好父亲
He's a good father.
行吧 行吧 我很抱歉 好吗 是我的错
Fine. Fine. I'm sorry, okay? It's my fault.
哦 我的天啊
Oh, my God.
我们在这荒郊野岭的地方
We're in the middle of nowhere.
我的手♥机♥没电了
My phone is dead.
我们没有食物也没有水
We don't have any food or water.
天啊 我就不应该来中国
God. I should have never come to China.
等等 路上有人
Wait, there's someone on the road.
不 没有人 你大概出现幻觉了
No, there isn't. You're probably hallucinating.
可能吧 因为我还看见了一只长颈鹿
Okay, maybe because I also see a giraffe
正在把自己身上的斑点剥下来
peeling off his spots
然后像扔飞盘一样扔出去
and throwing them like a frisbee.
哦 见鬼
Oh, shit!
天啊
Jeez.
好 但那确实是一辆巴士 对吧
Okay, but that's a bus, right?
拜伦
Baron.
我就知道你会为我而来
I knew you would come for me.
你好 洛洛
Ni hao, Lolo.
我听说你们需要捎带一程
I heard y'all needed a ride.
好了 所以明天早上他们会首先
Okay, so the team is going to give us a ride to Haiching
载我们去海清
first thing in the morning.
然后我们可以
And then we can...
奥德丽 你在和一个亚洲男人眉来眼去吗
Audrey, are you eye-fucking an Asian guy?
不 不不 别 不 洛洛 别给大家惹麻烦
No. No, no. Don't. No. Lolo, don't get us in trouble.
我们就是 你知道 就是
We're just, you know, just,
搭个便车 所以冷静点
they're our ride, so let's just be cool.
咱们冷静点 - 我很冷静 我非常冷静
Let's be cool. - I'm cool. I'm very cool.
今晚我会像大白鲨一样狠狠地吃拜伦•戴维斯
I'm gonna Jaws the fuck outta Baron Davis tonight.
你的嘴好大 - 哦 我的天啊
Your mouth is so big. - Oh, my God.
我知道 但是 瞧 不用牙的话就没那么大了
I know. But, look, without teeth, not as big.
我的嘴为什么这么小 - 我地包天
Why is mine so tiny? - I'm all underbite.
行了 大家能都把嘴闭上吗
Okay. Can everyone just close our mouths?
都成熟点 好吗
Let's just be adults, right?
就只是几个普通的 帅哥
Okay, they're just some normal, attractive men.
没有什么可花痴的 没有
It's nothing to lose your minds over. It's...
你还好吗 - 哦 我的天啊
You okay? - Oh, my God.
有八袋可♥卡♥因♥
It was eight coke bags.
是八袋 我刚感觉到袋子破了
It was eight. I just felt it burst.
你的嘴也很他妈的大
Your mouth is pretty fuckin' big too.
你感觉饥渴吗 饥渴的话就给我手指来两下
Are you horny? Finger me twice if you're horny.
是凯特吗
Kat?
哦 天啊 你好吗 （西语）妹子
Oh, shit. What's up, chica?
真没想到在这里见到你
Fancy seeing you here.
我不知道你是谁 - 等等 你是托德
I have no idea who you are. - Wait. Todd?
你怎么在中国 - 嘿 中国
What are you doing in China? - Hey, China!
哦 伙计 你知道
Oh, man, you know...
我就是在这里打打职业篮球
I'm just out here hoopin' professionally.
为什么凯特要假装不认识我
Why is Kat pretending like she doesn't know me?
呃 我的名字不叫凯特
Uh, my name's not Kat.
没错 对 她不是凯特
Yeah, no, that's not Kat.
她叫 赫敏
That's... Hermione.
我是罗恩 她叫哈利
I'm Ron. This is Harry.
海格 - 她是
Hagrid. - This...
好吧
Okay.
给我一秒钟
Just one sec.
好吧 嗯
Okay. Yeah.
嘿 不是凯特 呃
Hey, not Kat. Um, mmm.
你知道 有时候我会
You know, sometimes I just find myself
回想起以前我和一个长得
thinkin' back to this time when me and someone who looks
和你很像的人一起开着福特皮卡
so much like you rode out to the Grand Canyon
去大峡谷的时候 然后
in my Ford F-150 pick-up truck. And then...
你以前和这个家伙上过床吗
You used to bang this dude?
是的
Yeah.
不 其实我已经订婚了 - 哇哦 好吧
No. I'm actually engaged now. - Whoa. Okay.
所以我有 - 好吧 嗯 不 没问题
So I have a... - Okay. Yeah. No, that's cool.
我看见了 - 未婚夫了
I see that. - ...fiance.
嗯 没问题 棒极了 谢谢你 哇哦
Yep. That's okay. Great. Thank you. Wow.
我为你高兴 黄 这棒极了
I'm happy for you, Huang. That's awesome.
哦 伙计 嘿
Oh, man. Hey.
我很高兴你的那张大嘴
I'm happy you're puttin' that
能好好派上用场 好吗
big ol' mouth of yours to good use, huh?
见到你很高兴
Good seeing you.
哦 我的天啊 - 祝你们有个愉快的夜晚
Oh, my God. - You all have a good night.
见到你很高兴 - 嗯 我也是
Good seeing ya. - Yeah, you too.
对 - 好的
Yeah. - Okay.
所以我们知道今晚将会发生什么了
So we know what's happening tonight.
不不 我不会跟托德搞起来的好吗 懂吗
No, no. I'm not hooking up with Todd, okay? Okay?
我一点也不饥渴
I am not horny at all.
刚才在我屁♥眼♥里炸开的可♥卡♥因♥
The coke that literally just exploded inside my butthole
对我一点影响都没有
has no effect on me whatsoever.
呃 现在我要走了
Um, I am gonna go now.
祝你今晚在两腿之间打碟打得开心
Have fun DJing in between your legs tonight.
哦 见鬼 拜伦刚给我发消息了
Oh, shit. Baron just texted me.
好了 向我保证
Okay. Promise me
你们今晚都会玩得开心 - 好的
you'll have some fun tonight. - Okay.
没错 去酒吧放放松 好吗
All right, hit the bar. Let loose, okay?
好的 棒极了
Okay. Great.
林疯狂
Linsanity!
*指美籍华裔篮球运动员林书豪
林 哦 是说林-曼努尔•米兰达吗
Lin... Oh, Lin-Manuel Miranda?
*美籍拉丁裔作曲家、剧作家、电影制♥作♥人及演员
你要学的还很多
So much to learn.
那两个蠢货终于他妈的走了
Finally, those two fuckin' losers are gone.
现在只剩下我们两个酷妹了
Now it's just two cool cats.
活力二人组
Dynamic duo.
*韩国嘻哈双人组合
末路狂花
Thelma and Louise.
*指同名电影的两位女主角
我们要一起玩吗 - 事实上我有很多
We hangin' or what? - I actually have a lot of...
我有一些工作要做
I gotta do some work.
好的 学习伙伴 小组项目最佳成员
Yeah. Study buddies. MVP of group projects.
事实上我真的需要一点独处的时间
I actually really need some alone time.
好的 没错 没问题
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
不 但是你应该 你应该放开去玩
No, but you should... You should have some fun.
好的 - 他们看起来人不错
Yeah. - They seem really nice.
你应该去 哦 我的天啊 等一下 快看
You should go... Oh, my God. Wait, look.
他穿了一件防弹少年团的衣服 你应该去和他聊聊
He has a BTS shirt on. You should go talk to him.
真的吗 - 真的
Really? - Yeah.
不
No.
我 好吧
I... Okay.
好吧 明天见 好吗 好好休息
Okay. I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Get some sleep.
好的 再见
Okay. See you.
回复：林超
超，我的母亲和我在北♥京♥玩得很高兴，感谢你的关心。我们很期待周五与你见面。
喝酒吗
哦 我很抱歉 我不会说中文
Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't speak Chinese.
你好 - 你好
Hi. - Hi.
我叫肯尼 呃 他叫阿文德
I'm Kenny. Uh, this is Arvind.
我想他是要请你喝一杯
I think he wanted to buy you a drink.
但他只会说中文
But he only speaks Chinese.
和印地语 我想这个你应该不会
And Hindi, which I'm assuming you don't speak.
哦 不 我不会 抱歉 我
Oh, no. I don't. Sorry, I'm...
我是一个只会说英语的废物美国人
I'm just a garbage American who only speaks English.
我还会一点咕噜语
And a little Gollum.
*《魔戒》中的角色
我的宝贝
"My precious!"
那些肮脏的霍比特人
"They are filthy Hobbitses!"
你们这有那部电影吗 - 呃 有 我们这有
Do you guys have that here? - Uh, yeah, we have.
全世界都有那部电影
It's all over the world.