兜风（2023）

把这笔交易他妈的搞定
Close this fucking deal.
这才是我的好姐妹
That's my bitch!
好 来
拍拍乐
哎呀 输了
我赢了吗 赢了 我赢了 对吧
I won? I won! I won, right?
我赢了
I won!
我赢了 我赢了
I won! I won!
奥德丽
Audrey!
哦 该死
Oh, shit.
奥德丽 奥德丽 没错
Audrey! Audrey! Yes!
你就像他妈的拳王泰森一样打爆了他
You just nailed him like Mike fuckin' Tyson!
我非常抱歉
I'm so sorry.
没事 没事啊 一点都不痛
哦 不 没问题
Oh, no, you're good.
我打他了吗 - 对 对 他没事
Did I hit him? - Yeah, yeah, he's fine.
没错 没错
Yeah! Yeah!
我就是要 没错
I'm just gonna... Yeah!
我太他妈的完蛋了
I'm so, so fucked.
不 不 没事的
No, no, you're good.
哦 感谢上帝还有凯特 看看她
Oh, thank God for Kat. Look at her.
春华正在和那些商人谈笑风生
Chunhwa just schmoozing with those businessmen,
挽救了这个夜晚
salvaging our night.
天啊 我爱她
God. I love her.
天啊 我又想吐了 - 我去给你拿一瓶姜汁汽水
God, I'm gonna be sick again. - I'll get you a ginger ale.
给我拿一张新脸或者一个新胃之类的
Get me a new face or stomach, or something.
你感觉好些了吗 - 我非常抱歉
Are you feeling better? - I'm so sorry.
我 我通常不 呃 吃那种蛋所以
I... I usually don't, um, have eggs like that and...
等一下 呃
Wait. Uh.
你会说英语
Do you speak English?
很多中国人会说英语
Many Chinese people speak English.
但大多数美国人不会说中文
But most Americans do not speak Chinese.
假装总是很有趣
It's always fun to pretend.
顺便一说 谢谢你觉得我是可睡之材
By the way, I appreciate that you would want to smash this.
哦 对 我很乐意 我非常乐意睡你
Oh. Well, I would. I'd smash it really...
我能看出你是第一次来中国
I can see it's your first time in China.
对 怎么说呢 我
Yeah. You know what? I'm...
我平常不是这样的 我 我很抱歉我吐了
I'm usually not like this. I'm... I'm so sorry, I got sick.
但是我 我已经准备好再过一遍
But I'm... I'm very ready to go over the terms
我们商务提案的条款了
of our business proposal.
要知道 中国有一句谚语
You know, there's a saying in Chinese.
龙生龙
凤生凤
老鼠的儿子会打洞
意思是你能从一个人的家庭
It means, you can tell a lot about a person
了解到其本人很多
by their family.
你有亲戚在中国吗
Do you have any relatives in China?
哦 呃 有 嗯 大概有
Oh, uh, yeah, well, probably.
呃 当然 对 肯定有 大概
Uh, sure, yes. Definitely, probably.
呃 我 我是被领养的 所以
Um, I... I was adopted, so...
哦 这样 如果你不知道自己来自哪里
Oh, well, if you do not know where you come from,
又怎么知道自己是谁呢
how do you know who you are?
哦 天啊 不不 我知道我来自哪里
Oh, God. No, no, I know where I'm from.
实际上 你知道 我在这里出生 但我是美国人
Actually, you know, I was born here, but I am American.
所以 你和你的中国家庭没有任何联♥系♥
So, you have no contact with your Chinese family.
真是遗憾
That's a shame.
又是一个典型美国人
呃 什么 他说什么
Uh... What? What'd he say?
嗯 事实上她和她的生母关系很亲密
Well, she's actually really close with her birth mother.
对 就是这样
Yeah. Like that.
是吗 - 是的 没错
Really? - Yeah, yeah.
实际上我们这周正准备和她见面
We're actually meeting up with her this week.
那太好了
我母亲这周五
My mother is celebrating
要办七十大寿
her 70th birthday this Friday.
哦 哇哦 - 会很隆重
Oh, wow. - It's gonna be a big event.
她最喜欢的艺人将会到场 铁斯托
Her favorite performer's gonna be there. DJ Tiesto.
*著名荷兰DJ及音乐制♥作♥人
现场会有礼品袋 橘子 特斯拉
We're gonna have gift bags, oranges, Teslas,
比特币 那些之类的
Bitcoin, that kinda thing.
我希望你能来 带上你的母亲一起
I would love for you to come. Bring your mother.
我的母亲 呃 不 哦
My mother? Um, no... Oh...
哦 怎么说呢 呃 我们不想给你添麻烦
Oh, you know what, uh, we couldn't impose.
不 不 我坚持 - 你坚持 他坚持
No, no, I insist. - You insist. He insists.
哦 这真是 - 如果我们不了解彼此的家庭
Oh, yeah. This one. - How are we supposed to do business together
还怎么一起进行商业合作呢
if we do not know each other's families?
不这样就没法合作
We can't do business if we don't...
来参加宴会吧 我们在那里完成交易
Come to the event, and we'll close the deal there.
哦 好吧
Oh, yeah.
服务员 酒在哪里啊
懒到半死 有钱不要赚
哦 终于来了
Oh. Finally.
我们会去的 会让 妈妈们汇聚一堂
We'll be there. It's... It's a mom party.
那么 就这样定了
So, it's settled then.
干杯干杯
我 等我一分钟
I... Just give me a minute.
见他妈的鬼 我非常不好
Hell yeah, I'm not okay.
我的脸没有知觉了
I can't feel my face.
哦 操
Oh, fuck.
操 事情的发展他妈的糟透了
Fuck. That went so fucking terribly.
我不这么觉得 呃 我第一次感到和你如此亲近
Not to me. Uh, I feel closer to you than ever.
哦 我的天啊
Oh, my God.
呃 不不不 我没事 我没事 死眼 我非常
Uh, no, no, no. I'm good. I'm good. Deadeye, I'm so...
我真的非常抱歉我吐在了你身上 我们
I'm so sorry again that I threw up on you. We got...
我们最好帮你清理一下
We better clean you up.
好的 我 我来找找看有什么
Okay, I... I'll find something.
瞧 我就知道带你一起出差
See, I knew this was gonna happen
会导致发生这种事 洛洛
if I brought you on this business trip, Lolo.
你总是会干出这种蠢事
You're always doing shit like this.
你怎么都不和我说谢谢
What about a "thank you?"
我是说 你当时都快要歇菜了 是我救了你
I mean, you were sinking in there, and I saved your ass.
哈 不管你当时想做到什么 最后都没成功
Well, whatever you were doing, you failed.
这是我的工作
This is my job.
你为什么要撒谎和超说我认识我的生母
Why would you lie and tell Chao that I knew my birth mom?
这很疯狂 - 这太疯狂了
That's insane. - That is insane.
你是她的回声吗 谁他妈问你的意见了
Are you her echo? Who the fuck asked for your opinion?
那你觉得她现在能怎么办
Well, what do you expect her to do now?
她可以去找她的生母
She could go find her birth mom.
就像我们一直说的那样
Just like we always said we would.
那只是个假设
That was hypothetical.
我们甚至都不知道她人在哪里
We don't even know where she is.
怎么 你准备让我找遍全中国
What, you want me to search all of China?
浇我
Give it to me!
棒极了 - 所以 前几天
Great. - So, the other day,
我也许给领养机构打过电♥话♥
I may have called the adoption agency
假装自己是你
and pretended to be you.
你说什么 - 哇哦
What are you talking about? - Wow!
实际上 在你被领养的时候
Apparently, at the time of adoption
她同意了接受联络
she agreed to be contacted.
她愿意和你见面
She's open to meeting you.
她的地址在这上面 她生活在海清
Her address is on there. She lives in Haiching,
离奶奶家非常近
which is super close to Nai Nai's.
我们可以住在奶奶家
And we'll just stay with them.
哦 不不不 她应付不来的
Oh, no, no, no. She can't handle it!
等等 不 为什么 我能应付得了
Wait, no. Why not? I can handle it.
奶奶就是 特别中式的中国人
Nai Nai's like, Chinese-Chinese.
比如 痣上长出了一根超长的毛
Like, "super long hair coming out of a mole
却不肯拔掉 因为那会带来霉运
"and refuses to pluck it 'cause it's bad luck" Chinese.
逼你吃超多
"Forces you to overeat,
之后却评判你的体重
"and then comments on your weight later" Chinese.
像是 说真的 在佛寺里脱掉胸罩
Like, literally, "take her bra off, wipe her under-boob sweat
擦奶♥子♥下面的汗
"in the middle of a Buddhist temple
还让你闻
"and make you sniff it" Chinese.
有一个装满了塑料袋的塑料袋
"Has a plastic bag full of other plastic bags" Chinese.
不要装得像你了解我的家人一样
Don't act like you know my family.
你不明白我们经历过什么 看看死眼
You don't know what we've been through. Look at Deadeye!
看看我 看看我