兜风（2023）

死眼 快看
Deadeye, look.
是死眼吗
Deadeye?
你是@金硕珍灰姑娘88
@Jinderalla88?
是我 亲爱的 独一无二的我
Yes, honey. The one and only.
不错啊 秒杀全场
Okay, slay.
你会让金泰亨感到非常骄傲
You'd make V very proud.
我会假装是你们的经纪人
I'm pretending to be your manager.
还为你们带来了粉丝团
We even brought you fans!
大家一起为布朗尼周二欢呼
Give it up for Brownie Tuesday!
你好
Hi.
现在她们可以上飞机了吗
Can they get on their jet now?
我不相信这些女孩是歌♥手
I don't believe these girls are singers.
我可以向你保证
I can assure you that these are
她们是职业偶像 她们
professional idols. And they've been training
从十四五岁就开始训练了
since they were 14 and 15 years old.
女孩们 展示吧
Girls, show them.
呃 什 什么
Um, what, what?
展示什么 - 呃 展示就行了
Show them what? - Uh, just show 'em.
嗯 展示就行了
Well, just show them.
搞什么 我们能展示什么
Hello? What are supposed to show?
你是卡迪•碧的粉丝 对吧
You're a fan of Cardi B, right?
对 她在这里吗
Yeah, but is she here?
就假装你回到了嘟嘟合唱团
Just pretend that you're back in the Tootles.
相信我
Trust me.
这一定会很精彩 开直播
This is gonna be hot. Livestream this.
♪ 这间屋子里有荡♥妇♥ ♪
♪ There's some whores in this house ♪
♪ 这间屋子里有荡♥妇♥ ♪
♪ There's some whores in this house ♪
♪ 这间屋子里有荡♥妇♥ ♪
♪ There's some whores in this house ♪
♪ 这间屋子里有荡♥妇♥ ♪
♪ There's some whores in this house ♪
♪ 你出去浪 恰恰恰 ♪
♪ You'll go whore, cha, cha, cha ♪
♪ 你出去浪 恰恰恰 ♪
♪ You'll go whore, cha, cha, cha ♪
♪ 你出去浪 恰恰恰 ♪
♪ You'll go whore, cha, cha, cha ♪
♪ 你出去浪 恰恰恰 ♪
♪ You'll go whore, cha, cha, cha ♪
♪ 这间屋子里有 恰 ♪
♪ There's some whores in this cha ♪
♪ 我是认证够格的变♥态♥ ♪
♪ I'm a certified freak ♪
♪ 一周七天 ♪
♪ Seven days a week ♪
♪ 发大水 听听这个亚裔发言 ♪
♪ Wet ass pussy, hear this AZN speak ♪
♪ 没错 和你搞的是这样 ♪
♪ Yeah, you fuckin' with some ♪
♪ - 水灵的批 - 湿润的批 ♪
♪ - Wet ass pussy - Wet ass pussy ♪
♪ 我要你使出浑身解数 为我水灵的批 ♪
♪ Gimme everything you got for this wet ass pussy ♪
♪ 多汁的批 ♪
♪ Wet ass pussy ♪
♪ 埋头猛干 洛洛 别怕被抓 ♪
♪ Beat it up, Lolo, catch a charge ♪
♪ 学得聪明 学得刻苦 ♪
♪ Kumon smart and Kumon hard ♪
♪ 坐在名叫格蕾丝的女孩脸上 ♪
♪ Put this pussy on a girl named Grace ♪
♪ 她的成绩报告单上全是优秀 ♪
♪ Who got them A's on a report card ♪
♪ 跨上来 我想骑 ♪
♪ Hop on top, I wanna ride ♪
♪ 现代牌的大米火箭 ♪
♪ In a rice rocket that's a Hyundai ♪
♪ 把鸭子切开 别切到眼睛 ♪
♪ Cut up that duck, don't cut up the eyes ♪
♪ 爱潮汹涌 我们懂得跳水技巧 ♪
♪ This pussy is wet, we know how to dive ♪
♪ - 奥♥运♥会 - 捆绑我 ♪
♪ - Olympics - Thai me up ♪
♪ - 泰式冰茶 - 我们嬉戏 ♪
♪ - Like I'm tea iced - Let's go play ♪
*tie（捆绑）和thai（泰式）发音相同
♪ 但不是玩滑梯 ♪
♪ Just not on the slide ♪
♪ 我想要你把你的塑料长沙发停进 ♪
♪ I want you to park that plastic couch ♪
♪ 我那蒙尘的车♥库♥里 ♪
♪ Right in this dusty garage ♪
♪ - 在公开场合 - 不要太声张 ♪
♪ - Out in public - Don't make a scene ♪
♪ 我不会做饭 也不会打扫 ♪
♪ I don't cook, I don't clean ♪
♪ 如果你叫我中国佬 我他妈的会弄死你 ♪
♪ I will fuck you up if you call me Ching ♪
♪ 这间屋子里有荡♥妇♥ ♪
♪ There's some whores in this house ♪
♪ 屋子 屋子 屋子 ♪
♪ House, house, house ♪
♪ 进屋之后先脱掉鞋子 ♪
♪ Take off your shoes in the house ♪
♪ 为我水灵的批 ♪
♪ For this wet ass pussy ♪
♪ 喝点烧酒和海特啤酒 ♪
♪ Now drink a soju and a Hite ♪
♪ 为我湿润的批 ♪
♪ For this wet ass pussy ♪
♪ 获得我允许只为亲吻 ♪
♪ Ask my permission just to kiss me ♪
♪ 在我多汁的批 ♪
♪ On this wet ass pussy ♪
♪ 身为亚裔有这样水灵的批我十分荣幸 ♪
♪ It's an honor to be Asian with this wet ass pussy ♪
那他妈的是什么
What the fuck is that?
哦 我的天啊
Oh, my God.
什么也没有 我
Nothing. I'm...
你的批是魔鬼吗
Your pussy's the devil?
这比我想象得大很多
That is way bigger than I expected.
难怪你没法和克拉伦斯做
No wonder you won't have sex with Clarence.
好大的纹身 - 超级大
That thing is massive. - It's huge.
纹身师的手艺真不错 凯特
The artist did really impressive work, Kat.
你们不明白 我试过激光
You don't understand. I've tried lasers,
试过植皮 但是
I've tried skin grafts and,
但是全都 全都没办法去掉
and nothing... Nothing will take.
我的阴♥户♥就是魔鬼
My vagina is the devil.
她就在这里 哪儿也不去
And she is here to stay.
凯特 没关系的 没事的
Kat, it's gonna be okay. It'll be okay.
不可能没事 里面也纹上了
It will not be okay. It's on the inside too.
哦 克拉
Oh, Clar.
克拉伦斯
Clarence.
我为了你过来的
I came for you.
等等 不 我可以解释 - 不 我
Wait, no, I can explain. - No, I...
你究竟是什么人
Who are you?
克拉伦斯 不
Clarence, no.
克拉伦斯 别走
Clarence, no!
操 我该怎么办
Fuck! What am I gonna do?
你引起了公共骚乱
You have caused a public disturbance!
还当众裸♥露♥性器官
And committed an indecent exposure!
我们知道 - 你们必须马上离开
We know. - You must leave. Now!
看什么看 不准看
怎么回事啊
走
好了
Okay.
好了 别担心 别担心
Okay. Not to worry. Not to worry.
备用计划 备用计划
Plan B. Plan B.
你们还有另一架飞机吗
Do you guys have another jet?
那些鸡就不能消停点
Those chickens have to stop.
死眼 你刚是把鸡弄死了吗
Deadeye, did you just kill the chicken?
没有
No.
首尔
好了 沿路走下去就到那家机构了
Okay, the agency's right down that way.
可爱小熊杯子装的咖啡
Coffee in cute bear cups?
我请客
My treat?
哦 这里终于有好用的无线网了
Oh, finally. There's good Wi-Fi here.
我能收到新邮件了
All my emails are coming in.
我看看克拉伦斯回消息了没有
I can see if Clarence texted me back.
我
I did...
哦 我不知道我在这里也有粉丝 挺好的
Oh, I didn't know I had fans here. That's kinda nice.
等等 这里你的粉丝超多啊
Wait, they love you here.
你好
所以 呃 我想有些人♥大♥概是
So, um, I think maybe some people
看到了我的直播
picked up my livestream.
我们一直以为春华是个好女孩
但事实却让我们大失所望
什么 - 没 没事的
What? - It... It's okay.
我想它肯定没有在网上疯传之类的
I'm sure it's not going viral or anything.
直击菲律宾
视频迅速传播 已有将近一亿浏览量
大家好
快乐怪日本
现在是浦西时间
浦西浦西浦西浦西
喵喵喵喵猫咪浦西
哦 天啊 哦 我的天啊 我完蛋了
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I am fucked!
已经有人玩起了小鸟翠迪的梗
There's already a meme with Tweety Bird saying,
*动画《乐一通》中的小黄鸟
我以为我看到了 - 别说了
"I thought I thaw..." - Don't say it!
奇怪 超在给我打电♥话♥
Weird. Chao's calling me.
你好 超 很高兴接到你来电
Hi, Chao. So good to hear from you.
我母亲和我刚才正好说到你
My mother and I were actually just talking about you.
不必来了 - 什么
Do not bother coming. - What?
我看到了你和你朋友的魔鬼阴♥户♥
I saw the video of you and your friend's
那个视频 - 让我解释
devil vagina. - Let me explain.
实际上 这 这件事好笑极了
It's actually, it... It's so hilarious.