创可贴（2017）

It's one dish.
就一个盘子
One dish?
一个盘子
Okay, are you blind or just legally retarded?
你是瞎还是有智障
There is one dish in that sink that I put there.
只有一个盘子是我放的
Really, Ben? And you're,
你认真的吗 本 多说一句
happen to be quite the dish Nazi, I might add.
你简直像是 洗特勒
When did you, everything is like,
什么时候开始 你就只能看到
this is not clean enough.
这儿不够干净
There's smudges on this plate. - Don't do that.
盘子太脏 - 别说了
Stop doing that.
别说了
For sure, stop doing that.
说真的 别再这么说了
It's super offensive.
这太伤人了
'Cause I come from a long line of Holocaust survivors.
我的祖辈是纳粹屠♥杀♥的幸存者啊
How could there be a long line of Holocaust survivors?
大屠♥杀♥幸存者怎么能算祖辈
There's only one or two generations
从大屠♥杀♥到现在
that were in the Holocaust.
才一两代而已
You're gonna tell me
你跟我说
that there's one dish... Did you call me...
这个水池里 你刚才
In this sink? Legally retarded before?
只有一个盘子 是不是说我智障
It's so insensitive, it's so insensitive.
这太不尊重人了 太不尊重人了
Okay. - I'm not doing this.
知道吗 - 我不想说这个
Could you imagine if my aunt was here?
假如我姑妈在这 她会怎么想
For someone that has claimed to be offended
对于一个声称
by conversation recently... Grow up.
被刚才的谈话伤了的人 成熟点吧
The word retarded I can't...
智障这个词 我真的
Is so offensive.
难道就不伤人了吗
Fucking deal with you.
我他妈没法和你交流
Yeah, the are more... Honestly, Ben.
是 不只一个 说真的 本
There's more than one dish... Grow the fuck up.
这回的确 你♥他♥妈♥能成熟点吗
This time.
不止一个
But you did say retarded. Like, seriously?
但是你骂我智障 天哪 你认真的吗
And that is so hard to hear.
太伤人了
How many years, Ben?
多少年了 本
How many years, no. Particularly in the last 10
多少年了 确切来说 是近十年来
have people really started
人们开始用这个词
to take offense to that word. How many years have I been
去骂人 多少年了 我他妈一直
asking you to do the fucking dishes?
就叫你去刷个盘子
And it just still has to be
到了现在还是像
this cat and mouse game... Well, how many years...
猫捉老鼠一样 那么 多少年了
Where you force me... Have I been asking you...
是你逼得我 我一直想让你
To be the nag? To give me
变得啰啰嗦嗦的 帮我
a blowjob every once in awhile?
口一下
I can't even remember
我都不记得上一次
the last time. - A blowjob?
是什么时候了 给你口
Would it kill you?
有怎么难吗
Okay, how about this.
好 这样吧
I've got a solution.
我想到个办法
I'll do the dishes, and you can go suck your own dick.
我去刷盘子 你自己玩蛋去吧
Fuck you.
干♥你♥
Fuck me? Seriously, just fuck you.
干我 对 就干♥你♥
Fuck you. It's so...
干♥你♥ 这太...
Fuck you.
干♥你♥
Fuck you, fuck you.
干♥你♥ 干♥你♥
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
我♥干♥ 我♥干♥ 我♥干♥ 我♥干♥
Fuck you
我♥干♥
Oh shit, I gotta call my mom.
该死 我必须给我妈打个电♥话♥
No.
别
Please, please, please. I have to call her back.
求你了 我必须回她个电♥话♥
I literally... She's called me...
你要是打了 她这个星期
I will throw my body... Three times this week...
我真的就 已经打了三次
Out of this car. And I have not
跳车了 我必须
called her back.
回她电♥话♥
I have to call her back. I'll do anything.
我得回她电♥话♥ 你让我♥干♥什么都行
Tell me, tell me, a blowjob.
说个条件呗 给你口
Hang up, blowjob.
挂了电♥话♥ 给你口
I swear to you.
我发誓
Blowjob right now. Don't fuck me up.
现在 别闹了
Don't fuck me up. Right now, right...
别闹 现在 就现在
Hello? Hi mom.
喂 妈
Hi sweetie, how are ya?
宝贝 最近怎么样
I'm good, I'm driving.
挺不错的 我现在在开车
Sherry Orlofski's son was driving
雪莉·奥洛斯的儿子在开车的时候打电♥话♥
holding a cellphone, got hit by a bus.
就被公共汽车撞了
He's paralyzed from the waist down.
腰部以下都被撞瘫痪了
He shits in a bag now.
他在只能在袋子里方便
I don't know who Sherry Orlofski is.
我不认识什么雪莉·奥洛斯
I don't know why this is like,
我也不清楚为什么会发生车祸
what's going on?
怎么了
She's in my book club.
她和我在同个读书会
Are you with Anna?
你和安娜在一起吗
Yes.
对
No, no, I mean I'm spiritually always with Anna,
不 我的意思是精神上 我和安娜一直在一起
but no, I am not with Anna.
但现在不在
Okay, 'cause if she's not there,
好 既然她不在
there's something I need to talk to you about.
我得跟你说点事
Uh, is everything okay?
出什么事了吗
Honey, you gotta make me a baby.
宝贝 你们得生个孩子
Mom.
妈
All my friends have grandkids, Benny.
我的朋友全都抱上孙子了 本尼
Everyone at book club's passing out photos like it's 9-11.
读书会里的人 像911展示遗照似的传照片
That is such a weird analogy to use.
你这个比喻用的很诡异
Yeah, but just gimme a little grandbaby, honey.
我知道 但我真的想抱上孙子 宝贝
I know it's scary.
我知道这有点吓人
I know it is. Okay.
我知道 好
But you think I was ready for you?
你以为我当初生你时做好准备了吗
I pooped you out like a dog in summer,
我在个大热天把你生下来
and I never regretted it.
但我从没后悔
All right, I gotta go.
好了 我得挂了
I got a client.
我要见个客户
Love you so much, all right.
爱死了你了 好了
Okay, okay? Okay.
好吗 好
Okay. Love you.
好 爱你
Did you not tell her?
你没告诉她
No.
没有
I mean.
我是说
No, you didn't tell her?
你没告诉她
No, I did, 1...
不 我说了 我
You told me a year ago when I told my parents,
一年前我告诉我父母的时候 你就说
you said that you told her.
你告诉她了
Look, you know my mom is crazy, right?
你知道我妈很恐怖的
You know that, okay.
你知道的
And if I had told her what happened...
如果我告诉她
So you lied?
所以你撒谎了
I didn't lie, I just,
我没撒谎 我只是
my mom gives me so much anxiety.
我妈一直在很多方面给我压力
About my life and my job, and you.
我的生活 工作 还有你
About me?
我
Why does she give you anxiety about me?
为什么她会因为我而给你压力
You know, 'cause you're older.
你知道的 因为你年纪不小了
I'm older?
我老了
Well, I mean...
我的意思是
Older?
老了
What the...
我真是...
Well, I think she should say it.
我觉得应该让她说
I'm not saying it.
我不会说的
Well, I'm not saying it.
我也不会说的
Does it even need to be said
这种事真的有必要说出来吗
or is it just kind of a thing that's like...
还是其实只是某种...
Yes, you should say sorry.
是的 你应该说声抱歉
Why?
为什么