设计爱情（2019）

Okay, what is it?
电影 电视 喜剧 惊悚
Movie, TV, comedy, thriller?
拜托 说吧 我在没有刺♥激♥的情况下
Come on, tell me, I'm short circuiting up here
又要短路了
with no stimulus.
她只是 她不想干扰你的...
She just, she doesn't want it interfering with...
什么
With what?
我的清醒 你们的关系
My sobriety? Your relationship?
胡扯 我可是奥斯卡最佳编剧
Bullshit, I'm a fucking Oscar winner
要看你的剧本 给你反馈
offering to look at your script and give you feedback.
谁会知道呢
Who's got to know?
额... 嗯 是....
Ah... Well, it's, uhm...
是一个很简单的电影 嗯...
It's a very simple movie, uhm...
其实是早期的迈克尔·伯维尔风格
Very early Michael Burwell, actually.
好吧 我不能保证会有什么结果
Well, can't promise anything'll come of it,
但是我会读的
but I'll give it a read.
不不不 没关系的 我不需要...
No, no, no. That's fine. I don't, uh...
- 我不需要有什么结果 - 我得说 如果写得好 写得很好的话
- I don't need anything to come. - I got to say, if it's good, I mean, if it's really good,
如果这真的是一篇伟大的作品
if it's a really great piece of writing,
如果是你这个年龄的人通常不会写出的东西
it's something someone your age would probably not normally produce,
我会说 “很好 写得很棒”
I will say "Great, good job."
也许会把它拿给我经纪人助理看看
Maybe get it to my agent's assistant to look at.
如果没那么好 我会说 “挺好的
If it's anything less than that, I'll say “it's great
坚持下去 我看得出你很有天赋“
You know, keep at it, I can see you're talented.”
如果写得像屎一样
If, God forbid, it's a piece of shit,
好吧 我也不是圣人
well, I'm no saint.
我会直说的
I'll tell you it's a piece of shit.
但我希望这不会发生 因为如果发生了
But I hope that doesn't happen, because if it does, then well,
海莉会发现的 然后我们就都死定了
Haley'll find out and we're both fucked.
老实说 能让迈克尔·伯维尔读我的剧本
Yeah, honestly, just having Michael Burwell
然后说 “这是个非常好的剧本” 那真是...
reading my scripts saying, "Yeah, that's a good script." That's, uh...
对我来说已经足够好了
That's good enough for me.
我知道你不信
I know you don't believe that.
我都能看到
I can see you writing the bullshit
你写得这些废话
as it comes out of your mouth.
因为我以前也这样
I know because I do the same thing.
显然
Transparent.
我不是什么电影学校的学生
I'm not some film school kid.
我是说 告诉我它很好或者很烂
I mean, tell me it's good. Tell me it's a piece of shit.
我反正也不应该过于要求那些评价
I was kind of over asking you, anyway.
我会给你这个
Well, I'll give you this.
哦 我以为你要说点什么
Oh, I thought you were going to say something. I didn't think
我不知道你会真的给我什么东西
you were actually going to hand me something.
再给你这个
And give you this.
如果你真的很像我的话
If you really are like me,
海莉会已经开始尝试修补你了
then Haley's already trying to fix you.
嗯哼
Mmm.
湖面已经不再像玻璃了 是吧
Lake's not like glass anymore, is it?
好像暴风雨要来了
Looks like a storm's coming.
天啊 我喜欢在北边
God, I love being up north
说一些像暴风雨就要来了的话
and saying shit like storm's coming.
让我感觉自己像真正的人
Makes me feel like a real person,
而不是什么好莱坞人
not some Hollywood fuck me.
等会儿把剧本给我 我肯定你带了一份纸质的
Give me the script later. I'm sure you got a paper copy on you.
该死的
Shit.
你闻起来有啤酒的味道
Well, you smell like beer.
他身上有蜘蛛
Spider on him.
- 嗨 - 嘿
- Hi. - Hey.
天呐
Oh, my God.
嗨 我
Hey, I,
我醒来之后以为
I woke up and I thought you'd like,
你和我就一♥夜♥情♥然后离开了还是什么的
one-night standed me or something.
你觉得我不会数数吗
Did you think I was really bad at counting
因为
one night stands, too, because it's been
这已经好几夜了
way more than one night.
也许吧
Maybe.
我从来没听过你数数
I've never heard you count.
可能你会数成10 12 11 9
Maybe it's like, you could be all ten, 12, 11, nine.
我不知道
I don't know.
我跟他出去你不生气吗
You're not mad that I went out with him?
不会啊
No.
我为什么要生气
Why would I be mad?
我爱的两个人刚刚在一起消磨时间
Two people I love just spent time together.
你说什么
What'd you say?
哦 糟糕
Oopsie doodle.
被你抓住了
Caught me.
我...
I, uh...
我也爱你
I love you, too.
该死
Fuck.
嗨 我做了一样的事
Hey, I do the same thing.
嗨
Hey.
决定读一下
Decided to read it.
欢迎这个可以让我从自己的烂东西里分心的东西
I welcome the distraction from my own shittiness today.
♪ 你从来不想要爱 ♪
♪ You never wanted love ♪
♪ 有人说 男孩 ♪
♪ Someone said boy ♪
我只是说 厕纸真不应该是白色的
I'm just saying. Toilet paper should be literally any other color than white.
就算是灰白色也更好啊
Like even an off-white would be better.
是吧
Right?
就像 我不知道 比如米绸色
It's like, I don't know, a nice cornsilk.
或者蛋壳色
Yeah, or eggshell.
下雨了
Here comes the rain.
伙计 这吊床真是老掉牙式的浪漫
Man, the hammock is very rom-com cliched
- 在这个情况下 你不觉得吗 - 嗯哼
- in this situation, do you not think? - Hmm.
- 这才是 - 天呐
- This is!
- Oh, my God, oh!
你
You! Ah!
我爱你
I love you.
我知道 你说过了
I know, you said that.
- 进去吧 - 好 进去
- Inside. - Inside, okay.
走吧
Come on.
是“躺上”还是“躺下”
Is it "lays" or "lies?"
“他躺上”还是“他躺下”
"He lays" or "he lies?"
你知道这种游戏和语法
You're aware this game has nothing to do
没关系吧
with proper grammar, right?
只是拼写而已
It's just spelling.
我知道
Yeah, no, I know.
反正我也不准备拼写这个 我还有别的
I can't spell it anyway. I've got something else.
晚餐好了
Dinner's ready!
抱歉
Sorry.
你看起来很美
You look great.
那么
So.
从来都不喜欢敬酒词
Never like toasts.
干杯
L'chaim!
- 很好 - 好吧
- Nice. - Fine.
也许在你生日的时候 我会想一个新的笑话
Maybe for your birthday, I'll get a new joke.
就是说
Which is to say,
这一年对我们俩都很难
it's been a tough year for both of us,
但我很高兴我们现在在一起
but I'm glad that we are here, together.
我感觉现在听起来像是
I realize this is beginning to sound like
要自杀什么的 所以 我要说的是
a suicide pact, so, I will say that the food
食物没有被下毒
has not been poisoned.
然而 里面有美味的谷蛋白
It has however, been laced with delicious gluten,
因为我们已经不在洛杉矶了
because we are no longer in L.A.
- 谢谢上帝 - 是的
- Thank God for that. - Yes.
干杯
Cheers.
- 要可乐吗 - 嗯哼
- Coke? - Mmm hmm.
哇 很好吃
Wow. It's delicious.
我不知道你会做饭
I didn't know you could cook.
不 爸爸以前其实是副厨师长
No, Dad used to be a sous chef, actually,
在比佛利山庄的一家豪华餐厅
at a very swanky restaurant in Beverly Hills,
所有的制片人都在那里吃饭
where all the producers ate.
不 我只是给人们提供填饱肚子的食物
No, I used to provide filling foods to people