麦克斯赶走小鲜肉
The Sad Lady Book Club is reading
"伤心女士书友会"又在看
Fifty Shades of Grey again.
"五十度灰"了
There's not a dry seat in the house.
全场的座位都湿了
If those ladies are that into light torture,
如果那些女士这么喜欢轻度折磨
they should just apply for our jobs.
她们就应该申请我们的工作
Hey.
嘿
Aww, you two are so adorable.
哦 你们俩真让人羡慕
Like Romeo and Juliet, but without the bright future.
就像罗密欧和朱丽叶 只是没有美好的未来
Yeah...
对...
I want him out of the diner.
我要他离开餐厅
What are you talking about?
你在说什么?
Anyone who works in this diner
在这间餐厅工作的所有人
is like a fat guy in a smart car.
都像是坐在斯玛特车里的胖子
You can never get out.
永远别想出去
It's true.
没错
I came in here in for a cup of coffee.
年 我为了一杯咖啡来到这里
Someone asked me to break a dollar, and I never left.
有人让我兑开一美元 我就没离开过了
Look. Living, working, and sleeping with the same guy
听我说 和同一个人一起生活 工作 睡觉
is never a good idea.
绝不是个好主意
Just talk to Hillary Clinton.
不信去问希拉里·克林顿
I guess I can get a dishwasher fired.
我想我还是能炒掉一个洗碗工的
When I was rich, I got Wolfgang Puck fired from Wolfgang Puck.
当我还是有钱人时 我曾把沃尔夫刚·帕克从他自己的餐厅炒掉
沃尔夫刚·帕克: 美国加州第一名厨 开办了同名餐厅
Get yours, Max!
去做吧 Max!
Hit it then quit it.
先干 再走
That strategy served me well in my s and s.
在我二三十岁的时候 这方法对我很管用
Evening, ladies.
晚上好 女士们
Also, my 70s.
七十岁时也是
Pick up.
上菜
Or don't.
不上也行
Who gives a crap?
谁在乎呢?
Well, someone's in a bad mood. What's wrong, Oleg?
有人心情不好哦 怎么了 Oleg?
Did they discontinue making Axe body spray?
Axe身体喷雾停产了吗?
Don't even kid.
不许开这个玩笑
No. I'm cranky because I'm not having sex right now.
不是 我心情不好是因为我现在没有做♥爱
Yeah. I thought it was weird seeing both your hands
是啊 我还想着 在你说话时能看见你的两只手
while you were talking.
真是奇怪
Sophie's idea. It's some old Polish ritual.
Sophie的主意 这是某种古老的波兰礼仪
The bride and groom remain chaste for days
新郎和新娘在婚礼前的天里
before the wedding.
不能做♥爱
Apparently, the "something blue" at the wedding
显然 在婚礼上伤心的
has got to be my balls.
应该是我的蛋蛋
So, you're practicing celibacy.
这么说 你是在练习♥禁欲
I'm trying, but there are women everywhere.
我在努力 但是女人无处不在
I feel like a bull in a vagina shop.
我觉得自己像是阴♥道群里的公牛
Hear ye, hear ye!
安静 听我说!
I'm unveiling a major improvement to the diner!
我要公布餐厅的一个重要改进!
Well, we'll miss you, Han.
我们会想你的 Han
Nice try, Max, but like Ryan Seacrest,
想得美 Max 但是就像瑞安·西克莱斯特
"美国偶像"主持人
I'll be here forever.
我会一直在这里
Now, will you all please do what you have yet to do on Twitter
现在 请所有人做一件你们还没在推特上完成的事情
and follow me?
跟我来(关注我)
You too, Earl.
你也是 Earl
Hell, this better be good.
天啊 但愿这是好事
Every step I take could be my last.
我做的每件事都可能是最后一件
And now...
现在...
Without further a-douche...
不用说无脑台词...
Ready to have your minds blown?
准备好让你的心怒放了吗?
At this point, I'm ready to have anything blown.
这里插一句 我准备好让一切怒放了
Ta-da!
当当!
That is the worst gift I ever received
这是我收到过的最糟糕的礼物
and last year, my son bought me a coffin.
去年 我儿子买给我的是棺材
This works out great then, because it's not for you.
这个真的很棒 因为不是给你的
It's for Nash.
是给Nash的
Oh, well, that's real nice.
哦 那真的是很好
Because the shower at Max's place doesn't work at all.
因为Max家的淋浴器完全坏了
You better believe it's nice.
你最好认为它很好
That's the Spritzy .
这可是"喷头"
Dishwasher Weekly gave it four out of four Dishies.
"洗碗工周报"给它评了四个盘子的高分
You know our oven doesn't work, right?
你知道我们的烤箱坏了 对吧?
Hey, boss lady, if we work hard, do we get a gift?
嘿 老板娘 要是我们努力工作 我们也有礼物吗?
If you work hard, I'll die childless
要是你努力工作 那我就死时无子女
with my mouth frozen open in shock.
而且我会惊讶地张着嘴死掉
Yeah, I went there!
对 我说过了!
Nash works hard, so only he may handle my beautiful hose!
Nash工作努力 所以只有他能使用我漂亮的管子!
Well, if he's handling Han's hose,
要是他用上了Han的管子
he's never getting fired.
那他不可能被炒了
Okay. Step up here, Nash.
好了 站上来 Nash
I'll show you what this puppy can do.
我给你展示下 这小东西能做什么
So far the puppy can't reach the hose.
目前 这小东西拿不到水管
A little help.
帮个忙
Aww, there's nothing cuter than a hot guy holding a baby.
哦 没什么比一个帅哥抱着个婴儿更可爱的了
Now just grab that thing and squeeze it till it sprays.
现在只要抓着它 挤到它喷出来就可以了
Move to call a moratorium on the words "grab,""squeeze,"
在婚礼前 请暂停使用"抓""挤"
and "sprays" till the wedding.
"喷"这些词
Damn! That's hot.
天啊! 真性感
And me without any singles to stuff down his pants.
我什么都不做 就能看到他裤子里的东西
Well, I better go dry off in the men's room.
我还是去男厕所弄干吧
Don't be too long in that stall.
别占着茅坑太久
I've got a date with the Land O'Lakes butter package lady
我下次中间休息时 还要跟拿着蓝多湖黄油袋子的女士
on my next break.
约会
Oh. Pardon me, ladies. I'm all wet.
对不起 女士们 我全湿了
Max? Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
Max? 你看到我眼前的景象了吗?
Those ladies looking at him like he's a senior special
那些女生看着他 就好像他是Sizzler's(泰国)餐厅的
at Sizzler's?
高级服务生?
We might not be able to get Nash fired,
我们也许不能让Nash被炒
but we can get him hired as a fashion model.
但我们可以让他被雇为时尚模特
Look at their faces.
看看她们的脸
He could be the future bulge of Calvin Klein.
他可以成为CK(时装品牌)的未来巨星
Now you're talking about the future?
你现在在聊未来吗?
Why can't you just accept that we are stuck
你怎么就不肯承认 我们因一个很垃圾的礼物
with a really crappy present?
而陷入困境了呢?
Quit trash-talking the Spritzy !
不准说"喷头"的坏话!
Good afternoon. Welcome to The High.
下午好 欢迎光临"糕潮"
I'll have somebody get you some water.
我去让人给你拿杯水
Not me, 'cause I'm past that.
不是我 因为我不做这种事了
You know, here.
也就在这里不做
I think I just sat another one of those lesbian blind-dates
我觉得我又为了我们老板 让一个拉拉相亲会的人
for our boss.
坐下了
It's hard out there for a pimp.
在外面给皮条客干活真不容易
Why do you think I got out of pimping?
你为什么以为我不干拉皮条了?
That and someone broke a beer bottle over my head.
因为有人在我头上爆了一个啤酒瓶
So, did you get Nash a modeling job yet?
你给Nash找到模特工作了吗?
I'm working on it.
我正在找
It's not like I can just call Tyra Banks.
这不是给泰拉·班克斯(超模)打个电话就行的
Well, that's what her people said when I called.
那是我打过去的时候 她的人说的
Ugh, phone therapy ran long.
呃 电话治疗进行了好久
Apparently I have more issues than I realized
显然 罗茜(主持)离开"观点"节目给我带来的问题
about Rosie leaving The View.
比想象中更多
Are my dates here yet?
我的约会对象们到了吗?
Please don't tell me it's her, her, or her.
不要告诉我 是她 她 或者她
It's her, her, and her.
就是她 她 以及她
Lose them.
赶走她们
How am I supposed to get rid of them?
我要怎么赶走她们?
Just say what anyone says when they want a lesbian to leave,
大家想让拉拉走的时候怎么说的 就怎么说
"There's a Subaru outside that's about to get a ticket."
"外面有辆斯巴鲁 可以拿到票哦"
If you had you told me, ten years ago,
你要是在十年前告诉我
I'd be on a dating site called "Lez Meet Up,"
我会上一个约会网站 叫"拉拉约会"
I would've told the youth pastor I was married to,
我就会告诉那位跟我结过婚的年轻牧师
"You've lost your mind."
"你已经疯了"
Oh, I just got some interest
哦 我刚收到
from the Del Monico Modeling Agency.
Del Monico模特经纪公司的回复
But for the interview, he needs photos.
但他要有照片去面试
And not just the pictures of his butt on your phone.
不能是你手机里他屁♥股的照片
Fine, you handle it.
好吧 你搞定
The only thing I know about modeling is
我对于模特行业的了解仅限于
a couple of years ago, I was the face of shingles on WebMD.
几年前 我曾是医疗网上带状疱疹的封面模特
Girls, perfect timing to ask me to do this photo shoot.
姑娘们 来让我拍照的时机刚刚好
The FBI just gave me my camera back last week.
联邦调查局上周刚把我的相机还给我
Oh, so you get your camera back,
他们把你的相机还给你了
but I'm still waiting on that kilo of coke
可我却还在等那一公斤的
that I spent hours carefully filling my butt with?
我花了几小时小心塞满我屁♥股的可卡因?
Let me just change the settings.
我来改一下设置
This camera is used to taking pictures from feet away.
这台相机原本是用来拍摄英尺(米)外的照片的
And we want those pictures back, Oleg!
把照片还给我们 Oleg!
Hey, everybody!
嘿 大家好!
Just call me "rush hour traffic"
就管我这叫"高♥潮期"吧
'cause I sure am horny.
因为我太饥渴了
Oh, Caroline, I do not know how you go years, and years,
哦 Caroline 真不知道你这么多多
and years, and years, and years, and years
多多多多年
without doing the nasty.
是怎么守住贞操的
It's only been years and years.
这才这么多多年
- Come on. - And years.
- 拜托 - 多多多年
Well, I could go for a brisket sandwich.
我想来份鲜肉三明治
We're closed, Sophie.
打烊了 Sophie
I know. I got one in my purse.
我知道 我自己有带
And why are you doing the photo shoot in this skanky dishroom?
还有你们为什么在这肮脏的洗碗间里拍大片?
Because we're going with the "hot dishwasher" angle.
因为我们打算用"性感洗碗工"的主题
The agency said every model needs a hook.
经纪公司说每个模特都要有勾引人的噱头
Yeah, like how Cindy Crawford has a beauty mark
比如辛迪·克劳馥的美人痣
and Anna Nicole smith is dead.
还有安娜·妮可·史密斯的死
Yeah, yeah. My sister is a model in Poland and she has a hook.
没错 我妹妹在波兰也是名模特 她也有"勾"引人的地方
It's her left hand, yeah. It's is also great for kabobs.
就是她的左手 用来烤肉串一级棒
Come on, Nash!
出来吧 Nash!
Put a little Irish Spring in your step.
脚步里带点爱尔兰的活力
I'm a little nervous.
我有点小紧张
The only other time I had my picture taken was at school.
我唯一一次拍照是在学校
The priest said he needed a shirtless one for the roll call.
神父说他需要一个光膀子的人来点名
Where did he go to school, Our Lady of To Catch a Predator?
你上的是什么学校 "猎捕恋童癖"圣母学院?
美国真人秀节目
Wow. You sure look hot.
喔 真的好性感
Careful, Sophie.
说话注意点 Sophie
That's my brisket.
这是我的小鲜肉
I'm not talking about Daniel Day-Loser here.
我说的可不是这位丹尼尔·戴-卢瑟
丹尼尔·戴-刘易斯 奥斯卡影帝 爱尔兰籍
I'm talking about Oleg.
我说的是Oleg
You are sweating like an old knockwurst
你全身流汗就像是条被太阳
that has been left out in the sun.
烤出油的老香肠
It's really breathtaking.
让人垂涎欲滴
Okay, Nash, stand over here near the hose
好了 Nash 拿着水管站在这
and give me hot face, dead eyes.
摆出目光呆滞的性感面孔
You know, like me when I mix NyQuil and DayQuil.
就像我把白加黑的日夜片混着吃一样
I call it AfternoonQuil.
我管它叫下午片
Okay. Now I'm gonna start shooting.
好了 我要开始拍摄了
Yeah. Shoot, baby! Shoot!
对 摄起来 宝贝! 摄起来!
What do you think?
你觉得怎样?
Well, he's stiff, but not in the good way.
表情的确僵硬 但不是无神那种
Ugh, this is painful.
啊 真是受不了
He's like Susan Boyle without the star quality.
他就像是没星范的苏珊·鲍尔
苏珊·鲍尔: 因参加"英国达人秀"而一夜爆红
We need a little of what he had the other day.
我们得弄成像上次那样
You'll thank me for this later.
你之后会为此感谢我的
Yes, Nash, yes!
对 Nash 就是这样!
Tear your shirt!
把衣服撕破!
- Yeah, yeah. - Oh, yeah, yeah.
- 就是这样 - 哦 就是这样
Stop!
住手!
What the hell is happening in here?
这里什么情况?
I didn't give anyone permission to use my diner
我没同意把餐厅借给你们
for a photo shoot.
拍大片啊
Calm down.
别激动
We are trying to get him a modeling job.
我们想帮他找份模特的工作
He has a job! He's my number one worker.
他有工作! 他是我的头号员工
Like the doctor said to your mother when you were born,
就像医生在你妈生你时说的话
tough break.
运气不佳
You two crows don't let me have anything!
你们两个坏家伙什么都不肯给我!
Okay, Nash, part of the model audish
好了 Nash 模特面试的一部分
is to see how you'd be as a performer in commercials,
是看你在广告里的表现
and movies, and other things people don't watch anymore.
还有电影 还有别的没人看的东西
Now, obviously, right out of the gate,
显然 作为新手
you're not gonna be as good as that duck who says "Aflac,"
你比不上Aflac广告里的白鸭子
but you've got to be at least as good as Ben Affleck.
但你至少要比本·阿弗莱克强
I can help. For a time, I had a rich acting career.
我能帮上忙 有段时间 我的演艺事业挺辉煌的
It started with a starring role in Annie,
最开始是"安妮"里的一个小角色
and ended when I portrayed Rosa Parks
最后扮演的是罗莎·帕克斯
罗莎·帕克斯: 黑人人权运动之母
in an ill-advised high school production
因为这个考虑不周的高中舞台剧
that led to an investigation by the NAACP.
引起了有色人种协进会的调查
Ooh, this is a commercial for breakfast cereal!
哦 这是早餐麦片的广告!
Ah! Every actor's dream!
啊! 每个演员的梦想啊!
Hey, Nash, read this.
嘿 Nash 读一下
Think James Dean.
想象自己是詹姆斯·迪恩
詹姆斯·迪恩: 好莱坞青春偶像
But alive and eating Cocoa Puffs.
但要有生气 还要假装在吃可可米花
"Cocoa Puffs are a delicious part
"美味的可可米花是任何
of any well-balanced breakfast."
营养搭配的早餐的必备品"
I'm trying to find a nice way to say...
我在想要怎么说得客气...
You suck, bro.
你逊毙了 伙计
You... you get it.
你... 你懂吧
You know the thrill of eating chocolate
在通常不吃巧克力的时段
at a traditionally non-chocolatey time of day.
吃巧克力的兴奋感
Let's tap into that.
往这方向想
Okay. Take it from the top.
好的 从头开始
And this time, go cuckoo.
但这一次 疯狂(杜鹃)点
麦片的吉祥物
Go cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
我为可可米花狂
"Cocoa Puffs are a delicious..."
"美味的可可米花..."
Stop.
打住
Don't phone this in. It's not Raisin Bran.
别这样子来 这不是葡萄干麦片
"Pocoa Cuffs are a delicious..."
"美味的割口迷花..."
"Pocoa Cuffs"?
"割口迷花"?
Pocoa Cuffs?
割口迷花?
I just can't with these rank amateurs, Caroline.
我受不了这些糟糕透顶的业余者 Caroline
Max, calm down.
Max 冷静点
It's a fake tryout for a cereal commercial,
这是麦片广告的试演
not Dance Moms.
不是"舞蹈妈妈"
舞蹈真人秀 其中的舞蹈老师略毒舌
I'm nervous. I'm not an actor.
我太紧张了 我不是演戏的料
Uh, no, you are not.
可不 你才不是
Give me that.
把它给我
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
啊哈 啊哈 啊哈
Got it.
行了
Cocoa Puffs are a delicious part of any well-balanced breakfast!
美味的可可米花是任何早餐的必备品!
They're good for you, which parents love,
有益健康 父母最爱
and they taste like candy, which I love!
糖果味道 我的最爱!
I can't help it! I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!
我忍不住了! 我为可可米花狂!
Cuckoo!
狂!
I'm tearing up, and it's not just the black mold in here.
我要流泪了 而且不是因为这房间里长了黑霉
Max, I think you may have just set the acting bar too high.
Max 我觉得你把演戏水准定太高了
Oh.
哦
I've never set a bar too high before.
我从没把酒吧闹得太嗨过(标准定太高)
I've set a bar on fire and I've left a bar too high.
我只是烧过酒吧 嗨着离开酒吧过
Oh, hey, girls.
嘿 姑娘们
Oh, do you mind if I hang down here with you for a while?
介意我在你们这待一会儿吗?
Oleg is up there, he's trying to seduce me
Oleg在楼上 他想色♥诱我
by cleaning the apartment.
他正在打扫公寓呢
And it's, oh, oh, so dirty.
而且那场面 太"肮脏"了
Oh, oh, he's vacuuming now, which means he's naked.
不好 他在用真空吸尘器 也就是说他也是"真空"的
Oh, me and my Polish values.
哎 我和我的波兰价值观啊
Polish Values?
波兰价值观?
That's the name of my favorite dollar store in Brooklyn.
跟我在布鲁克林最喜欢的一元店同名啊
Oh, he's deep-cleaning the shag.
啊 他在深层清理那团粗毛
Oh, my God. Somebody, do something
天啊 来个人帮帮我
to make me not want sex.
别让我老想着滚床单
All right, Nash, why don't you show us your runway walk?
好了 Nash 展示下你的台步吧?
That was it.
就这样
Oh, I thought you were going to pick up a pen.
我还以为你要去拿支笔呢
Thanks, perfect.
谢谢 好极了
Now I'm completely turned off.
现在性趣全无了
Watching that potato walk across the room really did the trick.
看那家伙走过去 简直出奇地有效
Nash, concentrate.
Nash 集中精力
Follow my lead.
跟我学
Bam. Pow. Bam. Pow.
右扭 左扭 右扭 左扭
And step and bam, and step and pow,
前一步右扭 转过身左扭
and step and bam!
退一步右扭!
Oh, even better!
这下更好了
I mean, after that, they could film the sequel
看完这个 我可以拿私处
to Frozen on my lady parts.
拍"冰雪奇缘"续集了
Yeah, me too.
同感
But just 'cause I "Let It Go" down there.
因为我的下面"随它吧"
Oh, now he's using the wand attachment.
哦 他现在用(飞机杯)吸头了
Oh, and he's getting real deep between the cushions.
哦 他都深入枕间了
Oh, my God, just screw it.
受不鸟了 管他的呢
I'm never gonna make it to the wedding!
老娘憋不到婚礼了!
Oh, Grandma Kuchenski, please forgive me
Kuchenski祖母 饶过我吧
for what I'm about to do.
我就要上了
I...
我...
Well, you were no White Lily yourself!
你自己也不是什么圣女!
Wow.
哇哦
He's bamming and powing up a storm.
他走得很熟练
When he's famous, I hope he remembers us.
他出名了以后希望他还能记得我们
Pfft. I'd like to think I did some things he will never forget.
噗 我觉得我已经做了让他终生难忘的事
How's that?
怎么样?
Great, you can walk.
非常好 你会走台步
If you can read too, I'll treat myself to a Snapple.
如果你广告词也能念好 我就去喝杯红茶庆祝一下
Let's get to the copy.
来读读台词吧
Actually, we came prepared.
实际上 我们是有备而来的
Nash rehearsed the Cocoa Puffs commercial.
Nash准备了可可米花的广告
I think you'll be quite moved.
我想你会被他打动的
Oh yeah, well, we'll be reading something
是吗 今天我们要读点
a little different today.
不一样的内容
Don't panic. They do this all the time.
别慌 这种情况经常发生
They want to make sure you're flexible.
他们就是想看看你能否随机应变
Yeah. Go ahead, Nash.
开始吧 Nash
Whatever cereal it is, act like it's delicious.
不管是什么牌子的麦片 假装它很好吃就行了
Unless it's Rice Krispies. A-boring!
除非是"米脆"的 它们的广告太无聊!
Okay, here goes.
好的 我开始了
"You know you like it.
"你知道你喜欢的
Bend over, bitch."
弯下身去 骚货"
Uh, are we missing a page?
我们是拿漏了一页吗?
Cereals have changed since I was a kid.
和我小时候知道的麦片广告差太多了
Should I read the part where I notice
我要读那段发现老师
the teacher's not wearing any panties?
没穿内♥裤的内容吗?
Oh, my God. This is porn!
天啊 这是色情片!
No wonder all those people out there were freaks.
怪不得外面等着的人都好奇怪
No wonder I recognized so many of them.
怪不得我居然能认出这么多个
Don't act so surprised.
别大惊小怪的
Everyone knows Cocoa Puffs is code for porn.
是人都知道可可米花就是色情片的代号
Also, you sent us some pictures taken by someone
而且你们寄来的照片是个色情作品
very experienced in erotica.
经验丰富的摄影师拍的
We can't let him do this.
我们不能让他干这个
I have a movie that starts shooting tomorrow
我手头有一部明天开拍的电影
that pays $1,000 a day.
报酬是一千美元一天
Can we?
我们能让他干吗?
Maybe we can't.
也许不能吧
It's the lead in Sorest Rump.
是在"痛感翘臀"里演主角
Maybe we can.
也许可以啊
Delores 我觉得我们需要私下讨论一下
I think we need a little sidebar, Delores.
Should I come with you?
我要一起来吗?
No, we're good.
不 不用
I have a couple of questions for the actor.
我有点问题要问试镜演员
Can you swim, and are you circumcised?
你会游泳吗 受过割礼吗?
Max, this has gone too far.
Max 这太过火了
I know, I was expecting you to just crash with me
我知道 我一开始也只是以为你是来暂住几天
for a couple of days and get your own place.
然后就会找到自己的公寓
Are we really gonna let Nash do porn
我们真的要为了不让他在餐厅工作
just so he doesn't work at the diner?
而把他赶去拍色情片吗?
Hey, ladies, what's it gonna be?
小姐们 你们讨论出据结果了吗?
I got other talent to see.
我还有很多演员要面试
I got a guy named Lustin Beaver
有个叫Lustin Beaver(恶搞Justin Bieber)的
taking the Amtrak in from Philly.
从费城赶火车过来试镜
Max, if you're really keen on me being a porn actor,
Max 如果你真的那么想让我做一个色情演员
I'll do it.
那我就做了
She says, tomorrow, they start filming
她说明天他们就要开拍一部叫
The Grand Booty Fest Hotel.
"大臀盛宴大饭店"的电影
And, they'll pay me more for my accent.
而且我有口音 他们会多给点钱
Also, what does "gay for pay" mean?
还有"为钱掰弯的直男"是什么意思?
gay for pay: 指为了赚♥钱而演同性色情片的直男
Ugh, I guess it means we got to go.
呃 我觉得那是我们该走了的意思
Look at him, Max.
Max 你看看他
A cute guy, eaten up and spat out by show business
一个帅小伙 却被演艺圈蚕食并抛弃
like so many Baldwin brothers before him.
和在他之前的所有帅哥一样
Nash doesn't care about modeling.
Nash根本不在乎做不做模特
He's . He doesn't care about anything.
他才岁 他什么都不在乎
His biggest concern is playing with the XBox.
他最在乎的就是玩XBox(游戏机)
Mine and, also, the popular video game system.
我这台 还有最流行的那一款
He cares about you.
他在乎你呀
He was willing to do "gay for pay".
他甚至愿意为了你去当"为钱掰弯的直男"
Did I hear Nash is going "gay for pay"?
Nash真的要做"为钱掰弯的直男"吗?
'Cause I've got $ burning a hole in my pocket.
我口袋里的美金已经跃跃欲试了
Oh, a customer.
哦 有顾客来了
Hi, welcome to The High. Here for dessert?
欢迎光临"糕潮" 您是来吃甜品的吗?
Oh, thanks but I haven't had cake since my Sweet ,
谢谢 我从岁生日之后就不吃甜品了
and even then, I made myself throw it up.
而且当时我也把生日蛋糕吐出来了
I'm meeting someone here and my phone's about to die.
我约了人在这里见面 但我的手机快没电了
And if it dies, I will too. Do you have an outlet?
我和手机共存亡 你这里有插座吗?
Screaming in the shower really works for me.
淋雨的时候大叫能帮我缓解焦虑
Like, right into the water.
把焦虑宣泄给洗澡水
Super cute. But I do need a phone outlet.
很有意思 但我真的需要充电器
I'll plug you in, honey,
我会给你充电的 亲爱的
and I'll take care of your phone, too.
当然也会让你的手机电量满格
Girls, meet Marie.
女士们 这是Marie
Hi. Seriously, down to %.
嗨 我说真的 已经只有%的电了
Oh, did you two meet on "Lez Meet Up"?
噢 你们是在"拉拉约会"网上认识的吗?
No, honey, I've never been on "Lez Meet Up".
不是 亲爱的 我从来没上过"拉拉约会"网
Oh, you're thinking of me, Caroline.
你说的那个是我 Caroline
You know how much I love lady tail.
我超喜欢女人的尾骨
This place is amazing.
这地方是在是太棒了
Isn't it amazing?
很棒不是吗?
I had the decorator redo it nine times.
我让室内装潢师重做了九遍
You can feel his anger in the walls.
你可以感受到他的怒火从墙壁里渗出来
It's electric.
令人兴奋
We're electric. Who is this miracle?
我们很来电 这个尤物是谁?
That's Nash. I found him in the Bowery
他是Nash 我在鲍厄里
next to a pile of burning trash.
一堆焚烧的垃圾旁边找到他的
Go say hi.
去打个招呼
He's even creamier and more delicious up close.
靠近看你会发觉他更加鲜嫩 秀色可餐
You're eating? That is so punk rock.
你在吃东西? 太朋克风了
Tell me everything right now.
快告诉我你的情况
Uh, well, I'm a dishwasher.
好吧 我是个洗碗工
I'm from Ireland.
我来自爱尔兰
Oh, I was trying to become a model
我之前想当个模特
and I almost did porn an hour ago.
然后一小时之前我差点就去演色情片了
That is the best story I ever heard.
这是我听过最棒的故事了
Tell it to me again standing up.
站起来再讲一遍刚刚的故事
But this time, don't talk.
但是这次别用说的
I see face, I see ass, I see model.
颜值可以 臀部不错 是个模特的料
Do you have a manager?
你有经纪人吗?
I guess that'd be Caroline, the blonde one over there.
我觉得应该是Caroline 那边那个金发的
Blonde one, come over here and talk to me about your client.
金发的女孩 过来和我聊聊你的委托人
I am in love. He's perfection.
我爱上他了 他简直完美
Marie Prower, Senior VP of Marketing.
Marie Prower 市场部高级副总监
Sweet, what company?
太棒了 哪家公司的?
Guess.
Guess(你猜)
Um, Tommy Hilfinger.
汤米·希尔费格(美国休闲领导品牌)
I work for Guess, darling.
亲爱的 我是Guess公司的
No more words. Listen.
什么都别说了 听着
He's amazing.
他棒极了
I would tweet about him right now, but my phone is dead.
我想要在tweet上宣传他的 可惜我手机没电了
So bring him into my office on Monday.
所以你们周一把他带到我办公室来一趟
You heard her, Caroline.
你听到她说的了 Caroline
Bring him into her office tomorrow.
明天把他带去她办公室
She's obsessed with me.
她已经迷上我了
Max, I was right. He is a model.
Max 我没看错 他是个模特的料
Get me a hot wife and a hotter woman to cheat on her with,
给我找个性感的老婆 然后我再和另一个性感的女人出轨
'cause I'm a big-time talent manager.
我可是个大牌经纪人
Congratulations, dude.
恭喜啊
Well, I guess if this works out, I'm gonna have to quit my job
如果这件事成功的话 我可能要辞去
at the diner.
餐厅的工作了
Will you be mad at me?
你会生我的气吗?
I'll be really sad.
我会非常伤心的
I'm gonna miss you a lot, you know?
我会很想念你的 知道吗?
Not seeing you 24/7.
不能时时刻刻见到你
But I would hate myself if I didn't let you
但如果我阻止你追求梦想的话
follow your dreams.
我会恨死我自己的
Even if it means you moving out of the apartment, too.
即使那意味着你要搬出去住了
Now go.
去吧
Here comes that tear again.
眼泪都流出来了
I'm all choked up.
我都要哽咽了
Max, you would have made a great Rosa Parks.
Max 你演罗莎·帕克斯一定很棒
If you had been black
如果你是黑人的话
which I guess is what they insist on.
我猜他们关注的点就是这个
But you got him to move out! You are good.
但至少你让他搬出去了! 你真棒
Yeah, well, I mean... he is cute, but...
他也许长得是帅 不过...
I'm not all that coo coo for his Cocoa Puffs.
但我也没那么为他痴狂