麦克斯蛋糕店遭遇刑事麻烦

Well, I know it's not towering over it.
反正不是在俯瞰柜台
He's creating signature drinks for the diner.
他在为餐厅研制特色饮料
I suggested any household poison over shaved ice.
我的建议是 在刨冰上加家常毒药
Han 这想法太蠢了
Han, this is a stupid idea.
这是Earl的想法
It was Earl's.
Then it's genius.
那这想法太棒了
Yep, I've been drinking all afternoon for free.
是啊 我整个下午都在免♥费喝酒
Now, I've used only top shelf liquor.
现在我只用顶级的酒
Question: Who got it down for you?
提问 谁帮你拿下来的?
First up: "The Max". It's just whiskey.
第一款 "Max酒" 这只是杯威士忌
On the rocks, like Max's job.
酒加冰块(不断碰壁) 就像Max的工作
Whatever mine is, I want my rim salted.
不管我的酒是什么 我希望杯沿沾上盐
Of course you do.
当然可以
Earl's is an Old Fashioned with everything.
"Earl酒"是一款什么都加的老式鸡尾酒
Pour me another me.
再给我倒杯"我"
I hate to say it, but I go down easy.
我不想承认 但我很容易醉
"The Caroline" is Lemon Schnapps in a slightly frosty glass.
"Caroline酒"是装在稍微结霜的杯子里的柠檬甜酒
Because of my cool, Grace Kelly kind of demeanor?
是因为我那格蕾丝·凯利式的优雅举止吗?
No, because they had a sale on Lemon Schnapps
不是 是因为在卖♥酒的地方
at Beverage Barn.
柠檬甜酒在促销
Oh, they don't card there?
那里不用出示身份证吗?
Okay, so what's "The Han"?
好了 那"Han酒"是什么?
A No Sex on the Beach?
沙滩上的"无性"酒吗?
Mine is a classic martini, shaken.
我的是一款经♥典的摇和马提尼酒
Oh, like the first woman who saw you naked.
就像第一个看见你裸体的女人一样颤抖不停
Correction.
纠正
Will see you naked.
是将要看见的
Max, guess what happened when you were running
Max 猜猜看 你迅速跑向厕所的两小时内
to the bathroom real quick, for two hours.
发生了什么
You worked the cupcake window while I went
你在柜台卖♥纸杯蛋糕
to see The Statue of Liberty.
而我去看了自由女神像
Her head was being renovated.
她的头正在被翻新
Everybody in this town is getting work done.
城里的每个人都在工作
I sold our last cupcake tee!
我卖♥掉了最后一件纸杯蛋糕T恤!
We've sold out more than Robert De Niro
我们卖♥掉的比罗伯特·德尼罗
in the last years of his career.
在他职业生涯的最后年里卖♥的还多
Well, analyze This, Focker.
"老大靠边闪" 逊毙了
"老大靠边闪" 罗伯特·德尼罗主演的电影
I noticed we were running low last week,
我注意到 我们上周快要缺货了
so I ordered more.
所以我又进了点货
How did I not notice those sooner?
我怎么没早发现那些呢?
Oh, probably because the last time I looked in there,
哦 很可能是因为我上次往里看的时候
there was a rat having sex with a cockroach.
有只老鼠正和蟑螂嘿咻
You know, they're still dating.
告诉你 它们还在约会
Really? I thought it was a one time thing.
真的吗? 我还以为是一♥夜♥情
Well, I guess once you go rat, you never go back.
我猜你一旦上了老鼠 就永不回头了
go rat出自DOTA术语"只推塔 不团战"
Thanks for ordering these, I've just been so busy
谢谢你进了这些货 我最近都忙着
with Sophie's wedding shower.
准备Sophie的告别单身派对
Yeah, why are you working so hard?
是啊 我们为什么这么尽心尽力?
It's not a big deal.
又不是什么大事
I threw my mother a shower once.
我还帮我妈告别过单身呢
No, wait, I threw her in a shower once.
不对 等等 我是直接把她扔到雨里过
Max, you really need to start making more of a fuss.
Max 你真的不该这么抱怨了
It's for Sophie, it means a lot to her,
这是为了Sophie 这对她很重要
and she has a gun.
而且她还有枪
Well, showers are stupid girl things
单身派对是傻姑娘的事情
that this guy wants no part of.
而这条汉子不想参与
Hey, girls!
嘿 姑娘们!
Look. I'm advertising your cupcake business.
看 我在给你们的纸杯蛋糕做广告
You're advertising something, but it's not our cupcakes.
你是在做广告 但不是我们的纸杯蛋糕广告
I gave out free T-shirts to our building.
我给我们楼的住户发放了免♥费T恤
I left one by everyone's door.
我在每家每户门口都留了一件
Two at Sophie's, at the Sanchez's.
Sophie家两件 Sanchez家件
So about six of the kids will have to share.
大概有六个孩子得共穿一件
Interesting. Now our shirts are available at both Rodney,
真有趣 现在我们的T恤
the high-end Manhattan boutique,
在高档的曼哈顿时装店"Rodney"
and an apartment building that always smells
和一栋永远飘着汽油味儿的公寓楼里
a little like gasoline.
都能拿到
Well, please stop talking about things that aren't me.
请不要再聊些跟我无关的事情了
Now girls, did you get the cake
姑娘们 你们准备好
for my wedding shower tomorrow?
明天我的单身派对上的蛋糕了吗?
Oh, was I supposed to make a cake?
哦 我还要做个蛋糕吗?
I've literally done nothing for this shower.
我完全没有为这个派对做任何事情
I haven't even taken a bath.
我连澡都没有洗
Oh, no, I'm not getting my cake from here.
不 我不要这里的蛋糕
No, this is my bridal shower.
不行 这是我的婚前派对
Yeah, I want to get something classic from Baskin Robbins
对 我要从Baskin Robbins冰淇淋店买♥点经♥典甜品
that's also a Dunkin' Donuts.
还有Dunkin甜甜圈
They mix those two now?
他们现在把这两样混搭了?
It's a Stoner's dream come true.
斯通纳(主持)的梦想成真了
I tried to make our apartment look nice.
我想让我们的公寓好看一点
I even moved a chair to cover a stain,
我甚至挪动椅子来遮住污渍
but what was under the chair was so much worse.
但椅子下面更脏
I guess what I'm saying is, please don't shoot us.
我想说的是 请不要开枪打我们
Well, I don't expect it to look that good.
我没期待它有好多看
I mean, you can't put a silk hat on a pig.
你们不能给猪戴上大礼帽
And I know, 'cause I tried once.
我知道 是因为我试过一次
Max! Oh, my God! What have you done?
Max! 天啊! 你干了什么?
I realized I don't like a strawberry center.
我觉得我不喜欢草莓馅的
And I am not going to beat myself up about it.
但我不会为此揍自己一顿
When I told you to get crepe paper streamers
我让你去拿皱纸带
and decorate for the shower, I meant with pink, not black.
装饰下派对的时候 我说的是粉红色 不是黑色
It's a wedding shower for Sophie,
这是Sophie的单身派对
not a baby shower for Rosemary's Baby.
不是"魔鬼圣婴"的洗礼会
What? I told you, I don't do girl things.
什么? 我跟你说了 我不会做小女生的事情
Like hang pink or sit when I pee.
像挂粉红彩带 或者坐着尿尿
Which, coincidentally, I refer to as "hanging pink."
我正好提到了"挂粉红彩带"这项
My God, what is that smell?
天啊 什么味道?
Something's really gone bad here.
这里真的有什么东西坏了
Besides our lives.
包括我们的生活
It's the Polish food.
这是波兰食物
I think one of those sausages is made of old flip-flops.
我想其中有根香肠是用穿过的人字拖做的
Someone's here already?
已经有人来了?
Are Polish people always early?
波兰人都这么早吗?
Is that a stereotype I don't know about?
这是什么我不知道的刻板印象吗?
Oh my God!
我滴个乖乖!
A wedding shower for me?
我的单身派对?
I mean, if I had known, I would have dressed!
要是早知道 我就好好打扮一番了!
Sophie, you did know.
Sophie 你确实知道啊
I know. I came down early to practice some entrances.
我知道 我提早下来练习一下入场
Now get ready for entrance number two.
现在准备排练入场方式二
Are you ever ready for entrance number two?
你能想象第二种入场啥样吗?
Who is it?
谁啊?
Oh my God!
亲娘啊!
I can't believe it.
简直不敢相信
Oh, it's the day of my wedding shower.
哦 今天是我的单身派对啊
Could anything be more wonderful?
还有什么比这更美好的?
I was moved, I was surprised.
我好感动 好惊讶
I liked it better than the Book.
比圣经还要喜欢
Now, come on in here and identify some of this
现在 进来指出哪些是波兰食物
Polish food so I can know what I'm not eating tonight.
这样我就知道晚上什么不能吃了
Oh, no. I'm not eating at my shower.
哦 不 我派对上不吃东西
I'm pretending I have an eating disorder
我在假装自己有进食障碍症
so everyone will think that I have it all.
这样大家就以为我拥有一切了
I think you're going to be happy.
我觉得你会很开心的
I have lots of fun shower games,
我有很多好玩的单身派对游戏
starting with "Who Knows The Most About Sophie?"
从"谁最了解Sophie"开始
Oh, I'll win that one.
哦 这个肯定我赢
Yeah.
是啊
And Sophie's got to tinkle.
Sophie得上厕所了
See? I'm a shoo-in.
看到没? 这事都知道肯定赢
Yeah. Oh. Oh, my gosh.
哦 哦 天啊
Black toilet paper.
黑色厕纸
Oh, nice touch, girls.
做得不错 两位妞儿
Yeah, I love the mystery of not knowing when you're done.
嗯 我就喜欢擦完还不知道的神秘感
FBI! Open up!
联邦调查局! 开门!
The FBI? I don't think they RSVP'd.
联邦调查局? 我没请他们啊
Oh, that's got to be for me.
哦 肯定是来抓我的
I didn't do it.
我啥也没干
And just so you know, the statute of limitations is up
而且告诉你 纽瓦克的那件事
on that Newark thing.
已经过了诉讼时效了
I'm not here to arrest you, miss.
我不是来抓你的 小姐
Great, it's me.
这下好了 抓我来的
Max, I told you pirating movies was a real crime.
Max 我都说盗印电影是犯罪了
Now I'm going to jail for Fifty Shades Of Grey.
这下我要因为"五十度灰"进局子了
Someone should.
总得有人进去
I hear you, not the Christian Grey I'd pictured.
我听到了 你不是我想象中的
Christian Grey(五十度灰女主人公)
I'm Agent Drake with the FBI.
我是联邦调查局的Drake探员
Nothing to get upset about, but there's a man in your building
不用担心 但是你们楼里有个男人
who's been holding three women hostage
在他的公寓里扣留了三个女人
in his apartment for months.
做人质有数月了
Yeah, that sounds about right.
嗯 这听起来才对
Now, one of the captives escaped today
现在 其中一个被关押的今天逃出去
and alerted authorities.
报警了
Oh, that must have been the lady I passed
哦 肯定是我在大厅里遇到的
screaming in the hall.
尖叫的那位女士
What? There is a fine line between "hostage"
怎么了? 这栋楼里"人质"和"精神错乱"之间
and "off your meds" in this building.
还是有区别的
So, a SWAT team is going in
所以 特警队要进来
for the other two still upstairs.
解救楼上剩余的两位
But we need to evacuate the building first.
但我们首先要清空楼内
So let's go.
所以请吧
All right, can I just put a few things away first.
好的 我能先收拾下东西吗
You know, because I want the place to look nice
你知道 如果有警察要进来的话
if there's going to be police in here.
我希望家里看起来干净些
Look, miss, whatever drugs you're hiding in here,
听着 小姐 不过你家里藏了什么毒品
I couldn't care less.
我完全不在乎
We need to get out now.
我们得马上出去
You know, you're just my type of guy.
你知道吗 你完全是我的理想型
You don't mind my drug use and you're already here.
你不介意我用药 而且已经在家门口了
Oh, yeah!
哦 对味儿!
You girls ordered a cop stripper for my bridal shower?
你们还请了脱衣警察来我的单身派对?
Oh, here comes the bride all right!
哦 新娘这就来了!
Come on. Yeah.
来啊
Yeah, see? Look, he likes me.
嗯 看到没? 他喜欢我
I cannot believe I live in this building
真不敢相信我住的楼里
with a man who would do something so awful.
竟然有男人做这么可怕的事
Also, cannot believe I live in this building.
当然 也不敢相信我竟然住在这样的楼里
You know who I think it is?
你知道我觉得是谁吗?
smells Like Cats But Has No Cats.
一身猫味却不养猫男
Really? He doesn't seem like a go-getter.
是吗? 他看起来不像个行动派啊
I think it's Three Nipples No Nose.
我觉得是三个乳♥头没鼻子男
Three Nipples No Nose? He's a delight.
三个乳♥头没鼻子男? 他人很开朗啊
Sophie, isn't this upsetting?
Sophie 你不难过吗?
It sure is.
当然了
I couldn't get that stripper cop to take his pants off.
那个脱衣警察就是不肯脱裤子
Hey, look, there's some of my shower guests.
嘿 快看 我的派对客人们来了
Oh, look.
快看
And see? That one's my friend Natalya.
看到没? 那个是我的朋友Natalya
The one I told you about.
跟你们提过的那个
Yeah, there's all that extra skin.
没错 瞧那多余的皮肤
Ew. You were not exaggerating.
天啊 你真没夸张
She was born with all that skin.
那皮肤是天生的
She had a chip clip on her back
她整个高中都得
all through high school.
在背上夹个夹子
Yeah, I know that guy upstairs is a real bummer,
嗯 我知道楼上的家伙真让人扫兴
but you know what would help?
但你知道什么有帮助吗?
If I could open my presents.
要是我能开礼物的话
Yeah.
没错
Oh, no!
哦 不!
The fuzz isn't letting them through!
警察不让她们过来!
Oh, come on.
哦 拜托
No fair, they just let a guy in here a few minutes ago.
不公平 他们几分钟前还放一个男的进来了
Just 'cause your friends aren't bomb-sniffing dogs,
我朋友们不是炸♥弹搜寻犬
they can't get in? Boo!
就不让进吗? 切!
Hey, look, ladies, pass your presents up to the cops.
听着 姐妹们 把你们的礼物递给条子
Cops, pass my presents to me.
条子 把我的礼物递给我
Wait, Sophie, before you open them,
等等 Sophie 在你打开它们前
I really want to write down who got you what.
我真得很想记下是谁送的礼
And save that pretty ribbon, I'm gonna make you a bow hat!
还有 留着那条漂亮的丝带 我给你做顶蝴蝶结帽!
Look at you.
看看你
Making lemonade out of a maniac
有个疯子绑架了三名无辜女性
holding three innocent women hostage.
你还能这么苦中作乐
Oh, a gift card.
一张礼品卡
Oh, send it back.
把它寄回去
Sophie, we would've taken that.
Sophie 换做我们就会收下它
I don't know what is was for,
虽然不知道它的用处
I just know that we would've taken it.
但我就知道 我们会收下它
No, I'm sending it back.
不 我要把它寄回去
I want a gift, not another errand.
我要的是礼物 不是多一份差事
Oh, yeah, not in love with the paper, but...
好吧 我不太喜欢这个包装 但...
well, I'll wait till I open it to judge.
还是等打开后再做定论吧
Hi. Excuse me.
嗨 打扰一下
Excuse me?
打扰一下?
I'm Maria Alonso-Gonzalez.
我是Maria Alonso-Gonzalez
Could you ladies talk to Channel
能请两位女士对着镜头
about tonight's disturbing discovery?
谈谈今晚这里的骇人发现吗?
- No. - Yes.
- 没门 - 当然
Just go with me and my business savvy.
只管跟着我和我的商业头脑走
Yes, Maria Alonso-Gonzalez, we can answer a few questions.
是的 Maria Alonso-Gonzalez 我们可以回答几个问题
Were there any signs at all that something of this nature
有任何迹象表明 你所居住的楼房里暗藏
was going on in your building?
此类性质的犯罪吗?
We just hope they bring this sick freak
我们只是希望 住我们楼里的这个变态
in our building to justice
能被绳之于法
so that we can return to work at Max's Homemade Cupcakes.
好让我们回到"Max自♥制纸杯蛋糕店"继续工作
Get on the door. Here he comes.
转拍大门 他出来了
Who is it? Who is this sick freak?
这人是谁? 谁是这个变态?
It's not me.
不是我
Is it?
是我吗?
I'm not sure, what are the charges?
我不太确定 我被指控了什么?
Different sick freak.
同是变态 各不相同
Hey, Rula, Uma, Greta, look.
嘿 Rula Uma Greta 看啊
This is him.
就是这人
This is the groom-to-be.
我的未来夫君
Forget about the guy upstairs,
忘了楼上那个家伙吧
this is the real maniac in the bedroom.
这才是货真价实的床上狂魔
That's him?
就是他?
Beer Belly Gym Shorts?
啤酒肚运动裤男?
- Never would've guessed. - Oh, no.
- 怎么都猜不到 - 糟了
He's wearing one of our shirts.
他穿着我们的衣服
Why?
为什么?
Why? Why is he wearing a medium?
为什么? 他为什么要穿中号的?
Oh...
哦...
I mean, nobody's gonna see that.
没人会在意那个的
Police have just apprehended the suspect
警察已经逮捕了嫌疑犯
and the question on everyone's mind is,
而现在每个人心中的困惑是
"What does Max's Homemade Cupcakes
Max自♥制纸杯蛋糕店究竟和此事
have to do with this?"
有什么牵连?
We have no comment.
我们无可奉告
Or future, or deodorant.
也没有未来和除臭剂
So leave us alone!
所以别来烦我们!
How did they find out we work in this dump,
他们怎么知道我们在这破地方工作
next door to the other dump?
旁边靠着另外那个破地方?
As I'm saying it, I realize our career
我说完才意识到 我们的职业生涯
is made up of two dumps.
全搭在这两破地方了
Sounds like our career has been drinking too much coffee.
听起来像是我们的职业生涯咖啡喝多了
The story is all over the paper.
报纸上通篇在报道这事
They're calling those ladies "The Cupcake Captives,"
他们称那些女性为"纸杯蛋糕俘虏"
calling that guy "The Cupcake Captor,"
称那家伙为"纸杯蛋糕绑匪"
and calling the whole thing "The Cupcake Catastrophe."
还称整个事件为"纸杯蛋糕大浩劫"
But you needn't worry about it reflecting badly
但你们不用担心这事会损坏你们
on your cupcake business.
纸杯蛋糕生意的声誉
Oh, no. It's even in the fashion section.
糟了 这事还上时尚专区了
There's a picture of our shirts and it says,
上面有我们衣服的图片 还写着
"What not to wear, ever."
"不要穿这个 永远不要"
Okay. Everybody calm down.
好吧 各位冷静一下
I'm mostly talking to myself.
我多半是在说自己
The media is just going to do its thing.
媒体就喜欢兴风作浪
I've been slandered in the headlines before.
我之前也被头条诽谤过
I was called "Ponzi Princess,""Bankrupt Barbie."
被称为"庞氏骗局公主""破产芭比"
Looking back, those were the best of times.
回首往事 那些竟是最美好的时光
Oh, hello. I was just about to take a tray
各位好啊 我刚打算递一盘
of Max and Carolines out to my reporter friends.
Max和Carolines酒招待我的记者朋友们
Sorry, you can give those Max and Carolines
抱歉 你可以拿这些Max和Carolines酒
to this Max and Caroline.
招待Max和Caroline
Hi, everybody.
嗨 各位亲
Oh, I'm depressed.
哦 我抑郁极了
See, you can tell 'cause I'm only wearing half my hair.
瞧 连你们都看得出 因为我只戴了一半的假发
Girls, I found this box outside your door.
姐妹们 我在你们家门前发现了这个箱子
And I was hoping it was a shower present.
我当时还以为这是单身派对礼物
Since those selfish hostage girls ruined my special day.
因为那些自私的人质姑娘毁了我的大好日子
Oh, man. I didn't even get a freakin' ribbon hat.
天啊 我都没能拿到那顶蝴蝶结帽
Do you want the tube top I made out of the police tape?
你想要我用警示带做的抹胸吗?
I'm calling it a tape top.
我管它叫"警示抹胸"
Patent pending.
专利申请中
Come on, you guys.
好啦 各位
This isn't about us.
这不关我们的事
We need to put this all in perspective.
我们要理性看待这事
We're all safe, and healthy, and...
我们都没事 健健康康的 还有...
Oh, my God, just when I can't take anymore,
天啊 正当我觉得不能承受更多时
here comes anymore.
更多的不幸就来了
"We are returning the remainder of your T-shirt stock.
"我们要退还你们T恤剩余的存货
Our Rodney brand cannot be associated with a product
我们Rodney品牌不愿与你们的产品有牵连
at the center of an ongoing criminal investigation.
因为它涉及了一项正在进行中的刑事调查
Consider our contract null and void."
我们的合约就此作废"
This is so shocking.
真是让人震惊
Max, you can read?
Max 你竟然识字?
So you just didn't want to tell people the specials.
看来你只是不肯把特价菜单报给客人
I can't believe this.
真是难以置信
We waited so long for something to happen
我们盼了这么久 希望有事发生在
to our cupcake t-shirts.
我们的纸杯蛋糕T恤上
Why that guy?
为什么是他?
And on the one day he chooses to not wear
而且是正好在他不想穿那件
his "Pull my finger" shirt.
写着"拉我手指"T恤的时候
This is Maria Alonso-Gonzalez, reporting to you live...
我是Maria Alonso-Gonzalez 在Max自♥制纸杯蛋糕店...
Max, what are you doing? They'll see us.
Max 你在干什么? 他们会看到我们的
- From Max's Homemade Cupcakes. - No they won't,
- 现场为您带来的报道 - 他们看不到的
Because all the cameras are on Han right now.
因为所有的摄像机都对着Han
Can you talk a little bit about the women
你能谈一下 Max自♥制纸杯蛋糕店背后的
behind Max's Homemade Cupcakes?
两位女性的故事吗?
Well, let's just say Max and Caroline
就这么说吧 Max和Caroline
are allergic to work, much in the same way
对工作过敏 就像是
Dilbert is allergic to Mondays.
Dilbert对周一过敏一样
Moving on, Maria Alonso-Gonzalez,
继续 Maria Alonso-Gonzalez
would you care to come into The Williamsburg Diner,
您想不想来威廉斯堡餐厅
Bedford Avenue,
贝德福德大道号
open 8:00 A.M. till 2:00 A.M.,
营业时间从早上八点到凌晨两点
for our signature drink: The Cupcake Captive Cosmo?
来喝一杯我们的招牌饮料"纸杯蛋糕绑架小宇宙"?
And for you gents, The Captive Cape Cod?
至于先生们 想来杯"纸杯蛋糕绑架鳕鱼"?
Hey, get these cupcakes out of the garbage.
嘿 把那些纸杯蛋糕从垃圾桶里拿出来
I need to make room for Han's body.
我得给Han的尸体腾出点位子
I'm keeping the head as a warning to others who cross us.
我要留着他的头来警告其他想要惹我们的人
We need to take back our t-shirts' image
我们得找做新闻的人安排一次采访
by setting up an interview with the news.
拯救一下我们T恤的形象
And by "we," I mean you.
我说"我们"的时候 我是说你
Look, if I learned one thing from my time on Cops,
听着 如果我在上"执法先锋"节目时得了一个教训的话
it's that I can hop a fence in three seconds flat.
那就是我得花三秒整才能跳过一个篱笆
If I learned two things, it's that the camera
如果得了两个教训的话 那就是摄像机
makes me look guilty.
让我看上去有罪
Especially when it's a security camera at Banana Republic.
特别是那个在香蕉共和国里的监控录像机
I can't do it.
我可不能去
The world can't know that Caroline Channing
这个世界不能知道Caroline Channing
is involved in another high-profile crime.
和另外一场备受瞩目的犯罪相关
And hasn't kept up her nail maintenance, like, at all.
而且还一点都没有保养她的指甲
Fine.
好吧
Because if I learned three things from Cops,
如果我在上"执法先锋"节目时得了三个教训的话
it's that it's best to surrender early and not naked.
就是最好在还没有被剥光之前趁早投降
We really appreciate you taking the time to talk to us.
我们很感激你们抽出时间来和我们谈
If you really want to thank me,
如果你们想谢我
how about I get some pixels up over my grill?
能不能给我的脸上打点马赛克?
I got some kids looking for me and they don't need the help.
有几个小孩在找我 我不想帮他们
We don't have the capability to do that.
这个我们做不到
This is live TV.
这是电视直播
How about one of those voice distorting machines?
那么那种变声装置怎么样?
You know, make my voice sound like a fat Transformer.
就是那种能把我的声音变得像大胖变形金刚的
Um, no.
呃 没有
No problem.
没问题
I'll take care of that myself.
我会自己搞定的
Been in this sitch before.
以前也干过
All right, in , ...
好吧 秒 秒...
Good evening. In Williamsburg...
晚上好 在威廉斯堡...
Max, I'm right here, if you need me.
Max 如果你需要我的话 我就在这里
I got this.
我能搞定
Now infamous in the shocking "Cupcake Captives" story.
这个因为令人震惊的"纸杯蛋糕绑架案"而声名狼藉的地方
I'm here with the owner, Max Black.
我和店主Max Black在一起
Hi, Maria.
嗨 Maria
Max, how upset were you to see that Richard Griffin
Max 你知道Richard Griffin是Max自♥制纸杯蛋糕店
was Max's Homemade Cupcakes' biggest fan?
最大粉丝的时候 你烦恼吗?
I was really upset.
我非常不高兴
Okay, hi. Stepping in.
好吧 嗨 我来吧
Max is clearly so upset by all this
Max看来是因为这一切
that she's lost her mind.
难过得都疯了
The one time I really needed her, anyway.
我真的需要她的时候就掉链子
Hi, Maria.
嗨 Maria
How will your company's reputation recover
你的公司和一个在家里
from doing business with a man
囚禁了三个女人的男人做生意
who held three women in his apartment against their will?
你们的名声要怎么恢复?
听着 人们会做一些可怕的事 Look, people do terrible things.
And they do them wearing shirts.
还是穿着衣服在做
That doesn't make the shirt evil.
这并不代表衣服是邪恶的
Now, if a shirt commits a crime, lock it up.
如果一件衣服犯了罪 那就把它关起来吧
You'll get no argument from me.
我不会和你争论的
- Should I jump back in? - I got this
- 我需要回来吗? - 我能搞定
Okay, yeah. That's all the time we have.
好吧 呃 我们时间到了
- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
- 谢谢 - 嗯哼
Thank you.
谢谢
Caroline, thank you for trying to throw me a shower.
Caroline 谢谢你为我办单身派对
I mean, we were never really friends or close.
我是说 我们一直不是什么亲密的朋友
And yeah, I run away when I see you heading towards
是啊 我逃跑是因为你走向
the mailboxes the same time as me...
那个信箱的时候 我...
Please stop thanking me.
别谢我了
Hey. Want to come to our place?
嘿 想来我们家吗?
Those pig feet haven't gone bad.
那些猪蹄还没坏呢
I guess. It's hard to tell.
我猜是猪蹄 很难辨别
Yeah. The best meat's under the toe nails.
是啊 最美味的肉就在指甲下面
Is it?
是吗?
Surprise.
惊喜
Oh, my God, what's all this?
天啊 这是怎么回事?
Oh, no. I'm so surprised.
天啊 我太吃惊了
No, I really am this time.
我这次是真的很吃惊
- So am I. - Me, too.
- 我也是 - 我也是
Until this sausage, I thought the grossest thing
在我尝到这个香肠之前 我还以为吃过的
I'd ever eaten was kale.
最难吃的东西是甘蓝呢
Oh, my God, I can't believe it.
天啊 真不敢相信
Could anything be more wonderful?
还有什么能比这更好吗?
Max, I can't believe you did all this.
Max 真不敢相信你做了这件事
I thought you came home to do what you usually do
我以为你回家是干♥你平时不开心的时候
when you get depressed.
经常干的事呢
Get drunk and throw the finger at people from the stoop.
喝醉酒 然后对着台阶上的人竖中指
No stoop. But I am drunk.
台阶没有 不过我的确是喝醉了
You think I could've done this sober?
你以为我清醒的时候能做这种事?
I just figured, with everything around us being so black lately,
我只是觉得 我们身边的事最近那么黑暗
I thought we needed a little pink.
我们需要一点粉红色
You're right. We did.
你说得对
'Cause our t-shirt business is over.
因为我们的T恤生意是完了
And we still have to pay off that bank loan. Now what?
我们还得还银行贷款 怎么办?
We'll figure something out. We always do.
我们会找到办法的 我们都能成功
Hey, girls, come quick.
嘿 姑娘们 快来
We're gonna play "Guess Sophie's Favorite Sex Position"
我们要来玩"猜猜Sophie最爱的体♥位是什么"
Whoo!
哦!
It's on all fours, watching How To Get Away With Murder.
是后背位 还得看着"逍遥法外"
See? I told you I was gonna win.
看到了吧? 我就说我会赢的
And it just got black again.
生活又变黑暗了
Yeah, real black.
是啊 非常黑暗
This is wet. Max, did you already eat this?
这是湿的 Max 你已经吃过这个了吗?
I told you I don't like a strawberry centre.
我跟你说我不喜欢草莓糖
I am not gonna beat myself up about it.
我才不会打自己一顿呢