圣诞贷款
Max,thanks for agreeing to get in the spirit
麦克斯，谢谢你同意参与进来
and do holiday cupcakes.
做节日蛋糕
So much better than last year when you go so drunk,
这比去年好多了 你当时喝得烂醉
you turned the 12 days of Christmas
把圣诞十二日
into the 12 steps of Christmas.
变成圣诞十二步了 （戒酒瘾的十二个步骤）
Yeah, well, I finally gave in.
是啊 我终于屈服了
Christmas is like herpes.
圣诞就像疱疹一样
No matter what you do,
不管你做什么
it's gonna flare up once a year.
它还是每年都发作一次
Oh, you made Feliz Navidad cupcake.
哦 你做了"圣诞快乐"纸杯蛋糕
I'm muy proud of you.
我为你感到"灰"常骄傲
And I think we're going to make muy mucho moolah
而且我觉得咱们不久之后
when Manuel comes manana.
就能赚灰常多滴钱
You're the only person I know
我认识的讲西班牙的人当中
who seems whiter speaking Spanish.
就你一个人比较白一点
Feliz Navidad for our Spanish speaking friends.
"圣诞快乐" 送给说西班牙语的朋友们
And for kids raised like me, Feliz "He's-not-your-dad."
而这个刚是献给像我这样的孩子 "他不是你爹"快乐
And then, "Joy To The World" for the normals,
接下来 "欢乐世界" 送给普通人
and for the hipsters, "Joint To The World."
送给嬉皮士的呢 就是"大♥麻世界"
For the kids, "Frosty The Snowman."
送给小孩的 "霜白的雪人"
And for you, "Frosty With No Man."
还有送给你的 "冻死没男人"
Well, I didn't see Jack Frost nipping at your nips either.
好吧 杰克冻人也没有去捏揉你的乳♥头啊
Oh, here, this one's my favorite,
哦 看这里 这个是我的最爱
"Santa Claus Is Coming"...
"圣诞老人来..."
Max, stop right there.
Max 别说了
No, that was it. He's coming.
不 我没别的意思 他来了
Earl, change please.
Earl 找钱
"Earl, change please."
"Earl 找钱"
A phrase I heard from both my ex-wives.
我两个前妻都对我说过这话
Wow, you have more Christmas cards
哇 你的圣诞贺卡
than Oscar Pistorius had excuses.
比奥斯卡.皮斯托瑞斯的借口都多
What can I say, Max? I spread a lot of goodwill.
我能说什么呢 Max? 我处处施善
It's also where I get all of my shirts.
我所有的裇衫也是因此得来的
Here you go. Have a nice holiday.
拿着 节日快乐
My two kids love this time of year.
我的两个孩子们最爱每年的这个时候了
And next Christmas, there will be three.
到明年圣诞 我就会有三个孩子了
It's a boy.
是个男孩
My husband was so happy when I called him in Afghanistan.
我在阿富汗的老公接到这电话非常高兴
Man, this time of year people are easier
每年这时候讨小费都好容易
than a fat girl in a tube top.
比胖妞穿抹胸还要容易
Oh, great. We can use this money
太好了 咱们可以用这个钱
to order more of our cupcake T-shirts.
多订做一些纸杯蛋糕T恤衫
No, we are using that to buy people Christmas gifts.
不行 我们要用这个钱给大家买圣诞礼物
I was really looking forward to giving someone something
我真的很希望自己在送礼物给别人之后
that wouldn't require the follow-up penicillin shot.
不必再去打几针治性病
We need more shirts. These are really selling.
我们需要更多的T恤衫 这些东西卖得可好了
The guy at table four said it's the perfect gift
四号桌的那个家伙说 这礼物
for a girl you're not in love with, just strictly banging.
送给只谈性不谈爱的炮♥友最合适了
He bought three.
他买了三件
I happen to know for a fact
我碰巧知道
that everyone here's getting us stuff.
这里的所有人都我们买了礼物
Han came in with a small package today
Han今天进来的时候拿着一个小包
and also he was carrying a gift bag.
还有一个礼物袋
We'll find some money for the gifts.
我们会搞到买礼物的钱
People aren't expecting anything big.
大家也没指望着能有啥大的
Happy holidays.
节日快乐
People just got the nothing big they were expecting.
别人想要大的东西 有些人都没有
Gather, please. I have a very special gift
集♥合一下好吗 我有一份很特殊的礼物
for all my diner employees.
要送给我的餐馆员工们
Health insurance?
健康保险?
Come on, it's Christmastime, not crazy time.
拜托 这是圣诞节 不是疯子节
It's art. It's a one of a kind silk screen.
这是个艺术品 有着独一无二的丝绢网印花
I did it by hand.
这是我亲手做的
I figured that's how you always have to do it.
我想你一直都是自己用手的啊
Han, it's the diner. This is amazing.
Han 这是我们的餐馆 太棒了
Open the door. I put something behind it
把门打开 我在门后还印有东西哦
that reminds me of each of you.
这是我对你们的印象
Mine has Sophie.
我的贺卡上有Sophie
Mine has a saxophone.
我的贺卡上有个萨克斯
Mine has a cupcake.
我的上面有个纸杯蛋糕
Mine has a chainsaw.
我的上面有个电锯
Hey, everybody!
嘿 大家好!
Holiday shopping tip:
圣诞购物小贴士
Fill a Starbucks cup with vodka.
在星巴克的咖啡杯里装满伏特加
Also good for waitressing.
这对女服务员也有用
Sophie, were you Christmas shopping?
Sophie 你去圣诞购物了?
Oh, you know I was!
哦 你懂得的!
Power strips!
接线板!
Oh good. You got surge protectors.
哦 太好了 你买了冲击电压保护器
Wow, that's the first time protection's
哇 那可是你第一次在自己家中
ever been used in your apartment.
采取保护措施
Well, my Christmas village needs , watts.
我的圣诞装扮需要万瓦特的电压
And that's just to work my candy cane helicopter.
这还只够给我的糖果直升机用
Sophie's been so busy with the Polish Society Decorating Contest.
Sophie最近一直在忙着参加波兰联合社装扮大赛
We haven't had sex in days.
我们已经好几天没有做♥爱了
Well, I got to beat my nemesis, Felka Bobenski.
好吧 我得打败我的死对头 Felka Bobenski
She wins every year.
她每年都拿第一
She's like the Modern Family of Christmas decorations
她就像圣诞装扮界里的"摩登家庭"
You know who's having a blue Christmas this year?
你知道今年谁要过忧伤圣诞节了吗?
My balls.
我的蛋蛋
I love this city at the holidays.
我爱圣诞节中的这座城市
Yeah, the urine's all frozen
是啊 尿都冻住了
so you can't really smell it.
你根本闻不到味道
Manhattan is the best place to buy quality Christmas gifts.
曼哈顿是买高档的圣诞礼物最好的地方了
We have bucks.
我们有块钱
Now, where are those duffel bags
那些装满了
full of stolen electronics sold for half the price
由东非难民偷来半价出♥售的
by Nairobi refugees?
电子元件的大袋子在哪?
Well, we better find them soon
我们得赶紧找到
or I'm going to give up and go to Radio Shack
不然我就得像别人那样
like everyone else who goes to Radio Shack.
去逛电子市场了
Oh my God, Max.
天啊 Max
My childhood bank.
我的童年银行
You had a childhood bank?
你有一个童年银行?
I didn't even have a childhood.
我连童年都没有
Come on, let's go. I stop in every few months
来吧 我们走 我每隔几个月都会进去
to get caught on the security cameras,
让监控拍我几张照片
so people will think I'm still in the mix.
好让别人以为我还在那个圈子里
Trying to get caught on security cameras?
你想被监控拍到自己?
Whoa, we are different.
哇 我们真是太不同了
Yeah, we'll just go in and while we're in here,
我们进去吧 在里面的时候
well, I don't know, ask for a business loan.
要不咱们去搞个商业贷款吧
We are not getting a business loan!
我们才不要去商业贷款!
You tricked me into coming to the city.
你要想骗我进城
At least knock me out and put me in the trunk like a person.
至少也得把我敲晕 然后像人一样塞进后车箱吧
Okay, I hear you. No loan.
好 我听你的 不贷款
But can we at least go in there
但是我们能否至少进去走一下
so I can get a hit off some vault fumes
让我闻一下金库的味道
and a complimentary Christmas cocoa?
再来杯免♥费的圣诞可可?
Yeah, I want one too.
好 我也要一杯
It's so cold out here
这外面太冷了
my bra is suing my nipples for assault.
我的胸罩都要起诉我的胸骚扰它了
I'd say we ask for $15,000.
不如咱们贷个15000美元吧
So close I almost smelled a 100.
这里近得我几乎闻到一百块的味道了
What is with you?
你是怎么了?
If I wanted you to keep lying to me,
要是我想让你一直骗我
I'd date you.
我就会跟你约会了
Max, we need more capital
Max 我们需要更多资金
so we can buy our shirts in bulk,
这样就能大量购买我们的T恤
and then, if we work even harder,
然后 如果我们再努力点工作
we can double our profit.
我们就能获得双倍利润
Okay, we won't pass even the credit check.
我们甚至连信用检查都通过不了的
According to my Social Security number,
根据我的社保号
I died in a boat explosion years ago.
我在几年前的船爆炸中死了
This is the time to apply.
现在申请的好时候
Bankers have more guilt at Christmastime
银行家在圣诞节时更容易心软
because of It's A Wonderful Life.
因为"生活多美好"
圣诞节经♥典电影 准备自杀的主人公遇到天使并重振旗鼓的故事
And also 'cause they're Jewish.
而且他们是犹太人 不过圣诞节
I'm the one with the business degree,
我可是拿了商学院学位的
and you have to trust me on this.
这一点你一定要相信我
You know what? You're right.
你知道吗? 你说得对
You're the business genius. What do I know?
你是商业天才 而我知道什么?
Let's go get that loan.
我们去借贷款
Thank you!
谢谢!
Yeah, I should have known that was too good to be true.
好吧 我就该知道你哪有这么好说话
Max, come on.
Max 别这样
The bank's there. Our shirt's in here.
银行就在那儿 我们的T恤就在这里
Let's just go in, show them, and apply for that loan.
我们只要进去 给他们看 然后申请贷款
- Please! - No.
- 求你了! - 不
- Please! - No.
- 求你了! - 不
- Please! - No.
- 求你了! - 不
And that right there was a little something
就在那儿有个小东西
called "us asking for a bank loan."
写着"我们要银行贷款"
Now let's go.
现在走吧
I'm not leaving here until you tell me
我不会走的 除非你告诉我
what the underlying issue is.
你究竟在担心什么
I'm not in love with you anymore.
我再也不爱你了
Max 认真点
Max, be serious.
这整件T裇都是你的创意
This whole T-shirt was your idea.
What's the real problem?
真正的问题是什么?
That's the problem.
这就是问题所在
Those shirts were my idea
这些T恤是我的主意
and nothing that comes from me is worth $,.
我想出来的东西从不值一万五
Aside from that baby I sold on E-baby.
除了我在如意宝贝店卖出的那个婴儿
Max, I know these T-shirts are a money-maker.
Max 我知道这些T恤是赚♥钱的玩意儿
Oh, I have a money-maker and that's not it.
哦 我有赚♥钱的玩意儿 但不是它
I can prove it.
我可以证明
Look, this is Rodney,
看 这是Rodney
my childhood over-priced clothing store.
我童年的高档服装店
If I had known we were going on the childhood tour today,
早知道我们今天是去游览童年
I would have worn more comfortable shoes
我就会穿一双更舒服的鞋子
and stayed home.
并且呆在家里
See the shirt on the mannequin?
看见模特身上那件T恤吗?
At least $200.
至少两百美元
And there's no reason we can't sell ours for just as much.
我们的T恤没理由卖不到相同的价钱
I'll show you. Follow me.
我会证明给你看 跟着我
Oh, okay, I will. But not on Instagram,
好 我会关注你的 但不是在照片网上
'cause you're out of control.
因为你已经是晒照狂人
This place is fancy
这地方真花哨
and I've been to the new Port Authority in Newark.
连纽瓦克的新港务局都会自叹不如
Just trust me, okay?
相信我 好吗?
You need to jump on those Wang pumps
你要穿着Wang(品牌)的高跟鞋跳两下
or like Ben Affleck, they will be "Gone, girl."
或者像本·阿弗莱克演的那样 成为"消失的爱人"
本·阿弗莱克出演了电影"消失的爱人"
Let me do the talking. I speak his language.
让我来说 我会说他的语言
And what language is that? Portu-gays?
那是什么语言? 葡萄基佬语?
Hello, ladies. Welcome to Rodney.
你好 女士们 欢迎光临Rodney
I'm Barry.
我是Barry
Doing a little holiday shopping?
你们是在假日购物吗?
We're not allowed to say Christmas.
我们不能说圣诞节
As a matter of fact, we're doing a little holiday selling.
实际上 我们是在假日出♥售
Oh, you're "selling."
哦 你在"出♥售"
Got it. Molly? Coke?
懂了 摇♥头♥丸? 可卡因?
Not that I'm interested.
我都不感兴趣
I've been clean since Fire Island 2010.
自从火岛2010年的缉毒行动后我就戒了
And 2012.
还有2012年那时
It must be hard to not be high and be you.
不嗑嗨却要做自己 这很难受吧
Because it's hard for me
因为不能嗑嗨了却要靠近你
to just be near you and not be high.
这让我觉得很难受
Yeah, you get it, girl.
你懂的 妹子
Actually, we wanted to see if you'd be interested
实际上我们是想看看你是否有兴趣
in selling one of our fabulous graphic t-shirts.
卖我们这种图案超棒的T恤
Oh, n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n...
哦 不不不不不...
all sorts of "no", okay?
各种"不" 好吗?
As much as I love a fez, a caftan, and a teenage boy,
虽然爱土耳其毡帽 配腰带的长袍 以及男孩子
this isn't Morocco.
但这里不是摩洛哥
That's a really long and boring version of "No."
真是一长串烦人的"不"
It's like you just did "No! The One Woman Show."
就像你说"不! 独角戏(品牌)时装秀"
Here's our T-shirt...
这是我们的T恤...
Look.
看看
I'll tell you two what I said to a young Marc Jacobs.
知道我是怎么对年轻的马克·雅可布说的吗
Stop offering, I'm off the junk.
别送给我 我不要垃圾货
Merry Holiday.
节日快乐
I'll show Mary a holiday.
我要让圣母知道啥叫节日
Our shirts are just as good as these.
咱们的裇衫和这些一样好
He just needs to see it.
他只要看了就知道
Here, hold this.
给你 拿着
What are you? American Psycho?
你是谁? 美国精神病人?
As soon as someone says "No" to you,
一旦有人对你说"不"
you start dismembering women.
你就开始肢解女人
I can't get her shirt off.
我脱不下她的T恤
Tell her she can spend the night
告诉她 她可以过夜
and you'll buy her a waffle in the morning.
而你早上会给她买华夫饼
Okay, hand me our shirt.
好了 把咱们的T恤给我
I think this is gonna be big for us.
我觉得这将是我们关键的一步
You also think Michael Buble rocks.
你还觉得Michael Buble(爵士歌手)唱摇滚呢
Oh, I have to hurry. Barry is coming.
哦 我要抓紧了 Barry快出来了
Barry is coming.
Barry快出来了
I'm guessing mostly with strangers.
看来你是爱和陌生人爱爱啊
Seriously?
真的假的?
Seriously?
真的假的?
Ser-I-ous-ly?
不!是!吧?
So cute.
好可爱
And look on the back, "Cream Filled."
看看后面 写着"奶油爆满"
Funny.
有趣
People will think I have a personality.
人们会觉得我很有个性
Barry, put this with my other stuff.
Barry 把这件和我要其他那些都放一起
How much?
多少钱?
300.
三百块
Forget the sober story. That guy is high.
还说什么戒掉了 那家伙嗨了吧
I'll take ten.
给我来十件
They'll make great Hanukkah gifts
对于我那些不讨厌自己胳膊的朋友来说
for my friends who don't hate their arms.
我们的T恤刚被一个有钱的死女人买了
All our shirts just got bought by a rich dead lady.
这会是很棒的光明节礼物
I'll need more by Friday.
周五前再给我来三十件
Yes, I'm still holding.
是的 我还在等
I need to place a rush t-shirt order.
我要下一个紧急的T恤订单
No, no, no, no, no. Don't put me on hold again.
不行 不行 不能让我再等了
I've been through seven rounds of
我已经听了七遍
Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.
"奶奶被驯鹿撞倒了"这歌
And she just got run over again.
她又被撞了一遍
Now that we have all this crazy gay t-shirt money,
咱们现在从疯基佬那里赚了点钱
I think we should up the prices on these gifts.
我想我们应该再买贵点的礼物
So we agree, we're getting Earl a car.
所以咱们一致决定给Earl送一辆车
Sophie is getting the country house with the lake she's always wanted.
送Sophie一幢她梦寐以求的湖边乡间别墅
Max, Rodney is selling our shirts for300 ,
Max Rodney把咱的T恤卖三百一件
but we only get 25 of that.
但咱们只能赚25块
And you can't buy a house for $750.
750块钱可买不了一幢房子
It's not Detroit.
因为咱们不在底特律
Yes, hi, hi, hi. Finally a person.
是的 嗨 终于来了个人接电话
I need 50 T-shirts by Friday.
周五前我要五十件T恤
But your business card says you guarantee next-day delivery.
但是你们名片写着 你们确保翌日邮递
Oh, you can't "Guarantee" that guarantee?
哦 你不能"确保"那个保证?
Okay, now Oleg.
好了 说到Oleg
What do you get a man who has nothing,
这个一无所有 但是让你
but shows you everything?
一览无遗的男人 你还能送他什么
What do you mean "Is there anything else you can help me with?"
什么叫"还有什么需要帮忙的吗?"
When did you help me at all?
你究竟有帮到我什么
And I'm beginning to think if Grandma works for you,
我现在开始想 如果奶奶真的为你们工作
she didn't get run over by that reindeer,
她不是被驯鹿撞死的
she threw herself under a sleigh.
她是自己一头撞死在雪橇车的
So, Sophie's getting a Snapple.
送给Sophie一瓶斯纳普饮料
Like last year.
跟去年一样
Max, we can't give up. We can do them ourselves.
Max 我们不能放弃 我们可以自己完成
We just need someone else to do them.
我们只需要找♥人完成
Come on, let's go.
来吧 快出去
There are customers who have been here
外面有顾客等好久了
since Robin Thicke was relevant.
罗宾·西克也等了好久才红
Wait a minute, Han. You silk-screened all those beautiful cards.
等等 Han 你丝印了那些漂亮的卡片
You have an artistic side.
你在艺术方面有才能
Yeah, but no backside.
是的 只是后面没曲线
And a front side that shouldn't be allowed outside.
而且他的正面影响市容
Why is this taking so long?
你为什么这么慢啊?
You did all those Christmas cards.
连那些圣诞卡你你丝印了
Aren't small creatures supposed to be fast?
难道不是个子越小的动作就越快吗?
Truth be told, those were supposed to be ready last year.
说实话 那些卡片是去年就应该做好的
But, what was the rush?
但是 着什么急呢?
You two weren't going anywhere.
反正你俩也没事干
Han, just a simple "Yes" or "No".
Han 你只要说"是"或"不是"就行
No judgment.
我们不做评论
Have you had sex with this machine?
你有没有跟这台机器做♥爱?
The only thing worse than you two working for me
比你们俩给我打工更糟糕的事
is me working for you.
就是我给你们打工
You haven't even given me water.
连口水都不给我喝
Water is for closers.
水是给工人喝的
By "closers," I mean people who actually make clothes.
我说的"工人"是指真正制作衣服的人
Who's that?
谁啊?
Han, did you call Child Protective Service on us?
Han 你是不是向儿童保护机构举报我们了?
'Cause those bruises could be from anyone.
那些淤青可能是任何人造成的
Han, you've only made one shirt in two hours.
Han 两个小时你才弄好一件
And it's a masterpiece. Do you want one Citizen Kane
这可是杰作 你想要一个公民凯恩那样的经♥典
or Here Comes the Booms?
还是三十个好景在望那样的烂片?
Guys, I need your help.
同志们 我需要你们的帮助
Sophie's right behind me and needs some cheering up.
Sophie就在我后面 需要让她高兴起来
I haven't seen her this depressed
自从她昨晚在嘿咻的中途中醒来
since she woke up mid-coitus last night.
我从未见过她这么沮丧的
Hi.
嗨
Hi. Hi, girls.
嗨 嗨 丫头们
Merry Christmas.
圣诞节快乐
Quick question:
问个问题
if I were to turn on that oven and close all the windows,
如果我打开灶 关上窗户
would I die?
我会死吗?
Nope.
不会
Otherwise I wouldn't be standing here
否则我也会不站在
next to Kim Jong-Only-Done-One.
效率低下的金正"一"旁边
Sophie, what's the problem?
Sophie 怎么回事?
Tell Han while he gets back to work.
告诉Han 让他赶紧干活
And Han, pick up the pace
Han 你快点
or I'm going to start the pinching again.
否则我又要掐你了
I'm gonna lose the Christmas decorating contest.
我要输掉圣诞节装饰比赛了
Oh, I have nothing to live for.
我没有活下去的念头了
Oh, Caroline, this is probably how you feel every day.
Caroline 也许你每天都是这种感觉
Sophie's competition made a live-action
Sophie的对手在她门前
North Pole workshop in front of her house.
搞了场北极实时表演
Well, all I got upstairs is a light-up nativity
我楼上只有灯火通明的耶稣出生地
and $2,5000 worth of Target Christmas decorations.
和价值两万五的圣诞节装饰品
She blew five fuses last night.
她昨晚烧坏了五根保险丝
I never thought I'd be jealous of a fuse.
我从未想过我会嫉妒保险丝
Sophie, we really can't get into this now.
Sophie 我们真的没时间弄这个
We are way behind with these T-shirts.
我们还得把T恤赶工制好
And these T-shirts are a once in a lifetime chance
这些T恤可是我们千载难逢的好机会
for us to go to a new place with our business.
能为我们的生意打开一片新天地
Oh yeah, I hear you, girls.
嗯 我听到你说的了 丫头们
I mean, what am I doing here
我到底在这里干嘛啊
sitting worrying about some silly contest?
担心什么破比赛?
It's Christmas.
这可是圣诞节
Come on everybody.
来吧 同志们
We should all be helping the girls.
我们都应该帮帮丫头们
Really? That would be so amazing.
真的? 那真是太棒了
Sure! And you wouldn't even have to pay me back
当然! 你们都不用给我工钱
by letting me use your barn and your horse tomorrow night
只要明天晚上把你们的谷仓和马借我用用
for a live nativity scene, which you would all have to be in.
我们要上演耶稣诞生 你们都要参加
Or something like that.
差不多就是这样
I think we just had a seasonal shake-down.
我想咱们刚遭遇了季节性的敲诈
Han's doing the last one. We're gonna make it.
Han在弄最后一个 我们会完成的
I can't believe you're in such a good mood with that beard.
真不敢相信 你贴着那假胡子还能这么开心
Last week when you found those two chin hairs,
上周你发现自己下巴长了两根毛时
you weren't so chipper.
可没这么开心
I'm just so happy I have new clothes.
我只是很开心有新衣服穿了
Okay, final shirt.
好了 最后一件衬衫
Then I get you two out of my angel hair.
然后你们俩就可以消失了
Han, you know, if it weren't for you,
Han 要不是你的话
we would have never gotten this done.
我们绝对完不成任务
You really are a little angel.
你真的是个小天使
Yeah, you are. But I'm still surprised
没错 但我还是很惊讶
you weren't cast as the baby.
你竟然不扮婴儿
Oh, I was asked, but I declined.
哦 我被问到来着 但我拒绝了
I spent ten year getting out of diapers.
我花了十年才摆脱尿布
I'm not getting back in.
我才不要重新穿上
Han, for your Christmas gift,
Han 作为你的圣诞礼物
I'll pretend I never heard that.
我就假装没听到吧
Places everybody.
各就各位
The judges are coming. I'm ready.
评委们要来了 我好了
Joseph's ready. Cabbage Patch Christ is ready.
约瑟好了 "耶"菜娃娃好了
Come on!
快
What's with the cleavage?
那乳♥沟是怎么回事?
I know.
可不是
She's like the Not-So-Virgin Mary.
她像是非圣女玛丽亚
Angel, Shepherd, Lady with the beard,
小天使 牧羊人 长胡子的小姐
come on, get in the stable.
快点 到马厩来
Stable?
马厩?
The way we look it should be an "Unstable."
我们的样子看起来更像"没救"才对
Everybody ready? I'm going to open the barn door.
都准备好了吗? 我要开谷仓门了
Yeah, I think your barn door's already a little open.
我看你的门早就有点开了
Okay now, who am I again?
那个 我是谁来着?
Voltron?
战神?
I'm not gonna lie. One of the wise men
我不说假话 可能有智者
might have smoked some "Myrrh-ijuana."
吸过"圣大♥麻"
That was a very nice Christmas gift, Max.
这份圣诞礼物很有心 Max
Thanks, Earl. By the way, Sophie,
谢谢 Earl 对了 Sophie
the barn and us dressed like idiots?
谷仓加上我们穿得跟白♥痴似的?
That's your Christmas gift.
是给你的圣诞礼物
Oh, and hey, bang Oleg later.
还有 一会儿跟Oleg来一炮
Oleg, that's your gift.
Oleg 这是你的礼物
How did you know?
你怎么知道?
Before they come in, let's just take a moment to look around
他们进来之前 让我们抽点时间回顾一年
and really let in the true spirit of Christmas.
衷心迎接真正的圣诞精神吧
I don't remember writing you a monologue.
我不记得有给你写独白
Shut up!
给我闭嘴!
Get your ass over by the horse.
来吧 Han 放音乐
Come on, Han. Hit the music.
站到马旁边去
All right, everybody,
好了 各位
look holy.
庄严起来
Best I can do is my underwear.
我已经穿上内♥裤了
Oh , crap!
我去!
Oh, that's right, Felka.
没错 Felka
I'm the freakin' mother of God.
我是上帝他妈
We won!
我们赢了!
I'm so happy we won.
我好开心赢了
We won! We Won!
我们赢了! 我们赢了!
Okay, show's over.
好了 表演结束
Dump the kid, I'll be upstairs.
扔掉孩子 我在楼上等你
Max, take care of Cabbage Patch Christ.
Max 照顾好"耶"菜娃娃
Here, Han. You got a buddy your own size.
给你 Han 你有个和你个子相仿的同伴了
Thank you so much, Barry.
太感谢你了 Barry
And remember, I want more shirts
别忘了 新年过后我从戒毒所回来
after the first of the year when I'm back from rehab.
还要五十件衬衫
'Cause ladies, I am planning a very white Christmas.
因为女士们 我今年打算过一个白粉圣诞节
Max, this is amazing!
Max 这真是太棒了!
Do you know what just happened in there?
你知道刚刚发生了什么吗?
Yeah, I stole some dope-ass fingerless gloves.
当然 我偷了一副酷毙了的无指手套
We're in business with them now.
我们现在跟他们做生意呢
You have to bring those back.
你得还回去
I got them for you.
我为你拿的
Okay.
那好吧
This is like a Christmas miracle.
这就像圣诞奇迹啊
Our shirts are being sold in
我们的衬衫在
the most exclusive bitchy boutique in Manhattan
曼哈顿最顶级的傲娇精品店出♥售
and they want more, lots more.
而且他们还要货 要很多
Hey, let's go into your childhood bank.
嘿 我们去你的童年银行吧
I need to take an adult pee.
我得撒泡成人尿
Okay, but this isn't home, so remember,
好吧 但这不是在家里 所以记住
put the seat down when you're done.
完事了把马桶座放下
And while we're in there, we can apply for that loan.
我们在里面的时候 还可以申请贷款
No, no, no, no, no. We can't.
不 不 不 不行
Now I'm afraid.
现在我害怕了
Come on, what's the real issue here?
拜托 到底怎么回事?
We just had this amazing success.
我们刚取得了惊人的成功
And it looks like things are going our way,
看起来事情一顺百顺
and if we go in there, it could all be ruined.
如果我们进去了 可能就都毁了
You know what would ruin our lives even more?
你知道怎样会更毁人生吗?
If we don't get that loan and have to spend hours
就是我们不申请贷款 就得长时间跟Han在一起
with Han standing under us trying to finish those shirts.
让他在我们"下面"做衬衫
Well, that's a real "Nightmare Before Christmas."
好吧 那真的是"圣诞夜惊魂"了
Let's go.
我们走
Good, cause I'm starting to pee a little.
很好 因为我已经要尿出来了
He gave us a loan!
我们拿到贷款了!
Is everyone who works on the street high?
在这条街上工作的人都吸晕了吗?
I can't believe it. It didn't go bad.
简直不敢相信 事情没有搞砸
I'm getting everything I want.
我要的全有了
Walk on the outside of the sidewalk.
你走人行道外面
I'm gonna get hit by a bus.
我幸运得要被车撞上了
I mean, how could he give us a loan?
他怎么能给我们贷款呢?
I didn't even have to flash my boobs.
我甚至不用亮出胸器
Then why did you do it?
那你干嘛还给人看?
I don't know. They were making it rain.
不知道 他们这么慷慨
I felt obliged.
我觉得有义务秀一下
Max, do you have a dollar?
Max 你有一块钱吗?
I don't know. Do you have change for 10,000?
不知道 你能找开一万块吗?
Yeah, here. For what?
有 给你 干嘛啊?
For those less fortunate.
给那些不这么幸运的人
Anne Hathaway's here?
安妮 海瑟薇来了?
Oh, my God. Look! Look!
天啊 快看! 快看!
Whoa, no way! No way!
哇 不是吧! 不会吧!
Max, I have chills.
Max 我都起鸡皮疙瘩了
Well, it is snowing and there's no fingers on those gloves.
因为天在下雪 手套还没有指头
I love these.
我爱这双手套
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything.
抱歉没有给你礼物
I'm just not a thief.
因为我不偷东西
What do you mean you didn't get me anything?
你怎么会什么都没有给我呢?
You got me everything. Look.
你给了我一切 看啊