模特公寓

How would you describe our apartment?
你会怎么形容我们的公寓?
And I've already ruled out
我已经枪毙了
"Worse than that girl-pit in Silence of the Lambs."
"比沉默的羔羊里的女性屠宰场还糟糕"这说法
Well, at least she had some silence once in a while.
最起码她们那里还有清静的时候
Look, no one's gonna pay money to rent this dump.
听着 没人会租这样的破公寓
We haven't in six months.
我们自己都半年没交租了
Everyone else in Williamsburg is making money
每个威廉斯堡人都靠在"空中食宿"网站
renting their crappy places on Airbnb.
出租破房子赚♥钱
It's all how you describe it.
这全凭简介写得好
So let's start lying.
我们开始编吧
This is a fantastic idea and I really want to do this.
这主意真赞 我举双手赞成
First question: "Describe your neighborhood."
第一条: "描述一下你的街区"
Run-down with a bunch of rats.
破旧不堪 有很多老鼠
Old-world charm. Pet-friendly.
富有古典魅力 允许饲养宠物
"What type of people live there?"
"周围住着怎样的人?"
Junkies, whores, homeless.
酒鬼 妓♥女和流浪汉
Actors.
演员居多
"Do you have a hot tub?"
"有热水浴缸吗?"
Sometimes.
有时有
"Gym?"
"健身房?"
健身房"Gym"与人名"Jim"发音相同
Two. Gay Jim upstairs,
有两个 楼上的弯男Jim
and straight Jim across the hall
还有一个对门的那个
who's only gay when he's drunk.
喝高了才变弯的直男Jim
"When is your space available?
"什么时候可以入住?
Always, sometimes, one time."
随时可以 有时可以 只有一次"
Oh, just like our sex lives.
就像我们的性生活一样
Always for me, sometimes out of boredom,
我随时可以 有时无聊了也会有
and one time for you.
而你只有一次
Earl, guess what Max and I did.
Earl 你猜我和Max干了什么
I know what you didn't do.
我知道你们没干什么
Clean this dessert carousel.
你们没打扫甜点展示柜
There's a Napoleon in here since Napoleon.
那块拿破仑酥皮蛋糕从拿破仑时期就一直在那儿
We rented our apartment on Airbnb.
我们在"空中食宿"网张贴了招租广告
You rented to Arabs?
你们把房子租给阿♥拉♥伯人了?
阿♥拉♥伯人"Arabs"和空中食宿"Airbnb"谐音
Well, good luck getting it back.
希望你们还能把房子收回
They tend to be a TAD territorial.
他们都有恐怖主义的倾向
Airbnb is an agency that rents to out-of-towners
"空中食宿"是一个给外地人
and I'm guessing local men cheating on their wives.
以及想密会小三的当地人租房子的网站
Well, I did it.
我成功了
I know.
我知道
When you were with Prince Harry.
你十八岁的时候跟哈里王子交往
Or so you say.
也可能是你编的
We have three offers for our apartment.
我们收到了三份申请
How?
怎么可能?
Let me rephrase that.
我再说一遍
How!
怎么可能!
I found the perfect sales pitch.
因为我们的宣传标语给力
"Stay at the place where dreams die"?
"来梦想泯灭之地居住吧"?
"Have the authentic Williamsburg experience"
"感受正宗的威廉斯堡生活"
Oh, you mean getting clumsily felt up
你是指被长得
by a guy who looks like he came from the gold rush?
像"淘金热"时代的男人轻轻爱抚吗?
Anyone can stay at a hotel.
酒店谁都能住
But how often can you say you went to New York
但是在纽约有几个人能住在
and stayed at a "Brooklyn Bohemian barn apartment
"拥有一匹真马的布鲁克林
with a live-in horse"?
波西米亚风格的谷仓"里呢?
Girl, you are good.
妞 你真棒
So now we just have to pick who gets our apartment.
现在我们选择谁来住我们家吧
A guy looking to get away from it all.
一个想逃避一切的男人
That's a suicide.
这是自杀
You're right. We lie, they lie.
说得对 我们说谎了 他也可能说谎
Um, a married couple looking to reconnect.
想要重修旧好的夫妻
Murder-suicide.
谋杀加自杀
And finally, a girls' getaway weekend
最后一个 女孩们的
for some fashion model friends.
周末时尚派对
A couple of chubby girls looking to murder
几个胖女孩
some pints of Ben and Jerry's.
想要谋杀冰淇淋
With maybe a sui-side of mac and cheese.
或许还有芝士通心粉
Hey, everybody.
大家好
Yeah, the temperature be droppin'
温度下降了
and the bitches be nippin'.
姑娘们还是"美丽冻人"
I need a hot chocolate.
我要来杯热巧克力
我就在这儿呢 Sophie
I'm right here, Sophie.
我还在这儿呢 Earl
And I'm right here, Earl.
I mean, I get it,
我明白你是无心的
but bro code, man.
但她是我的 哥们
Well, big news.
我有大事要宣布
I'm going on a trip.
我要去旅行了
Mushrooms or acid?
吃蘑菇还是迷幻药?
I'm going to Vermont!
我要去佛蒙特州!
Oh, you're gonna be gone?
你要出门一段时间?
Would you mind letting us stay upstairs at your place?
能让我们住在你家吗?
We're renting out our apartment.
我们要把公寓租出去
You're renting out that dump?
你们要把那个破公寓租出去?
Oh, are they filming Survivor at your place?
他们要在你们家拍"幸存者"吗?(一档真人秀)
So when are these losers arriving?
那些屌♥丝什么时候来?
They're not losers.
她们不是屌♥丝
They're just girls paying us to have a fun weekend
她们只是一群小姑娘 付了钱想在我们公寓
欢度周末 in our apartment.
What losers!
真屌♥丝!
Now that is a hand that's scooped some ice cream.
一边吃冰淇淋 一边敲门的人来了
嘿 你是Caroline吗?
Hi, are you Caroline?
Oh, my god. They really are models.
天啊 她们真是模特
Hi, I'm Lily.
嗨 我是莉莉
Oh shoot, now I'm gay.
神啊 我变拉拉了
Lily? As in Lily Aldridge?
莉莉·奥尔德里奇的莉莉吗?(超模)
And I'm Martha.
我是玛莎·亨特(超模)
Hunt? Martha Hunt and Lily Aldridge?
亨特? 玛莎·亨特和莉莉·奥尔德里奇?
Max, do you know who they are?
Max 你知道她们是谁吗?
Sure do.
当然知道
This one is the girl that I leave this one for.
我就是为了她 才甩了她的
No, Max, they're all Victoria's Secret models.
不是 Max 她们是维密天使
Yeah, we all wanted to hang out in New York
我们想在去伦敦之前
before we leave for london.
在纽约好好玩一下
We're doing a fashion show there.
我们要在那边走个秀
I worked at the Victoria's Secret at the mall for one day.
我曾经在商场的维密店工作过一天
Got fired for eating panda express over the thongs.
但因为吃快餐弄脏了丁字裤而被解雇了
This is Max. I'm Caroline.
她是Max 我是Caroline
I used to be rich.
我以前很有钱的
I just felt like I needed to say that.
我就是那么一说
And these are our friends, Petra, Gabriella, and Rina.
这是我的朋友 佩特拉 加布里埃尔 瑞纳(都是超模)
Hi.
嗨
What are the odds you're all named after Columbus's ships.
太奇怪了 你们的名字都是哥伦布的船名吧
Come in. Welcome to "The Williamsburg experience."
进来吧 欢迎光临"威廉姆斯堡体验营"
It's bigger than it looks in the photo.
这地方比照片里看上去的大
Well, I shaved of a couple of inches for the photo.
为了照片效果 我裁掉了几英寸边缘
You know the drill.
你懂这技巧的
So why the hell are you staying here?
你们为什么要住在这里?
Is this training for when your looks run out?
难道是为自己美貌消失之后的生活做准备?
Oh, look. The kitchen is so cute!
快看 这厨房好可爱啊!
Question, how do you walk the runway blind?
提问 你们瞎成这样怎么走秀的?
It's just that we stay at the same Four Seasons
其实只是我们每次来 都住在同一家
all the time.
四季酒店里
Well, you will experience at least two seasons here,
在这里 你们至少能感受到两个不同的季节
'cause the thermostat's broken.
因为我们的恒温器坏了
It's outside and in here.
外面华氏度 里面度
So as advertised, this is our sauna.
就像我们广告里说的那样 这就是我们的桑拿
And our Bohemian barn's right out that door.
我们波西米亚风格的谷仓就在门外
Just follow the temperature drop.
跟着凉气走就可以了
Max, super models are staying at our apartment.
Max 有超模要住在我们家诶
It's so exciting, I want to tell all my friends.
我太兴奋了 我要告诉我所有的小伙伴们
I guess I just did.
这事我好像已经干完了
I see you met Chestnut.
你们见到小栗子了吧
That's his real mane, not extensions.
这是他的真名哦 不是昵称
Also per our ad, a charming skylight
还有就像广告里说的那样 有扇迷人的天窗
in case you want to sit under the stars
你可以坐在满天星辰之下
and have a little peace and quiet.
享受一点宁静
Hey, girls!
嘿 大家好!
Come up already.
上来吧
I want to get to my college reunion.
我要去参加大学同学会了
Can you believe it's been years?
你能相信吗? 已经十年了
Wow, time sure does lie...
哇 时间真的会撒谎啊...
I mean, fly.
我是说 飞逝啊
You talk to your neighbors?
你们竟然和邻居说话?
I talked to my neighbor once and the next thing you know,
我以前和一个邻居说过话 结果
I have this long letter from Naomi Watts
我收到了娜奥米·沃茨的一封长信
saying, "Leave my husband alone."
告诫我离她丈夫远点
So we've known each other like five minutes already.
我们现在已经认识分钟了
Where's my free bra?
我的免♥费胸罩呢?
I mean, all that's left of this one is the frames.
我现在穿着的这个只剩下框架了
Trust me, it's like a burlesque show under here.
相信我 这里面就像在演滑稽剧一样
Sophie's apartment is amazing.
Sophie的公寓太棒了
It looks like an easter bunny banged a golden girl.
感觉就像复活节兔子勾搭上了多金女
That was some showerhead.
那个淋雨喷头真好
I'd marry it, but it's already attached...
我都想和它结婚了 可惜它有主了...
to the wall.
他老婆是墙
Max?
Max 你在哪?
Here!
我在这儿!
Oh, this bed is like being in the womb
这床就像是一个
without all the second-hand smoke.
没有二手烟的子♥宫
Martha and Lily were super-sweet.
玛莎和莉莉都超友好
So exciting to be back hanging with celebrities.
能重新和名人们交朋友真的是让我太兴奋了
Yeah and maybe now you can get a new celebrity story.
是啊 也许现在你能换个新的名人故事了
I was getting really tired of hearing how someone thought
我已经听腻那个别人说你背影
you were Gwyneth Paltrow from behind.
像格温妮丝·帕特洛的故事了
Still flattering.
我到现在还受宠若惊呢
Laughter?
有笑声?
Coming from our apartment?
我们的公寓里有笑声?
What do you think they're laughing at?
你觉得她们在笑什么?
Probably found our account balance on an ATM slip.
估计是看到某张自动取款机票据上的余额了
I bet Martha said something funny.
我打赌一定是玛莎讲了个笑话
She's hilarious.
她太有趣了
You know, for someone who's so pretty,
要知道 像她那么漂亮的人
she never had to develop a personality.
根本不需要有个性
I'm gonna go see.
我要去看看
Max, give me a shove.
Max 推我一下
This is good practice for the eventual cliff.
就当是为以后真站悬崖边了做准备
Beers and wings.
啤酒和翅膀
Beers and wings.
啤机和翅膀
Now it's a party.
派对开始了
Max, you know how when it gets hot down there,
Max 你还记得我们公寓很热的时候
we just sit, sweat, and point the fan at our junk?
我们就干坐着 大汗漓淋 拿着电风扇吹屁♥股吗?
They do it a little differently.
她们和我们不太一样
They are dancing in their underwear,
她们一边穿着内♥裤跳舞
drinking beers.
一边喝啤酒
So? The guy on the corner does that all the time.
那又怎样? 转角处的那家伙天天这么干
I can't take my eyes off those beers.
我被那些啤酒吸引住了
Hey! Hi, you guys.
嘿! 你们好啊
You wanna come down, and have some beers,
你们想下来喝点酒
and cool off?
凉快一会吗?
Be right down!
马上就来!
Now I wish I had those wings, I could get down there faster.
要是我有那些翅膀就好了 这样我就能快点飞下去了
Okay. So what is this big news?
说吧 是什么大消息啊?
Did the health inspector find out
是卫生检疫的人发现
that the imitation crab meat is cat?
我们的人造蟹肉其实是猫肉?
Technically, it's imitation cat,
严格意义上来讲 是人造猫肉
but that's not what we're announcing.
不过我们想说的不是这个
I'm here.
我来了
And make this snappy. I'm in the middle of something.
快点说 我正忙着呢
Puberty?
享受青春期?
No. I was on a call with Ripley's Believe It or Not
不 我刚刚在和"Ripley信不信"节目通电话
to inform them that you still work here.
告诉他们你们还在这里工作
And they didn't believe it.
但他们不信
Okay. We have some friends coming in for a meal
好了 我们有几个朋友要来吃饭
and we don't want you guys to embarrass us and overreact.
我不希望你们们反应过度 让我们难堪
Darlin', I don't overreact.
亲爱的 我从来不会反应过度
I'm -something years old with a history of heart trouble.
我是个七十多岁的老头 还有心脏病
I keep it in check.
我控制得住
Hey, Max! Caroline!
嘿 Max! Caroline!
And I keep my heart pills in my pocket.
我的心脏病药就在口袋里
Excuse me, much as I enjoy the view,
我先走了 虽然我很享受这景象
I really want that "th Birthday" shout out
但我还想活到一百岁 听Al Roker
from Al Roker.
给我祝寿呢
Yes, they're Victoria's Secret models and our friends.
是的 她们是维密的模特 还是我们的朋友
Last night we all stayed up late trashing Kate Moss.
昨晚我们一夜没睡 在说凯特·摩丝的坏话呢
Models in my diner!
有模特来我的餐厅了!
Oh, no. I wore the wrong sweater vest.
不 我穿错毛线背心了
You also wore the wrong face, body, and personality.
脸 身子和性格也都错了
Max, let's go say hi.
Max 我们去打个招呼吧
How do I look?
我看上去怎么样?
Like a waitress.
像个女服务员
Damn it, it's the waitress uniform, isn't it?
我靠 本来这就是服务员的制服 是吧?
What's up, homies?
室友们 你们好吗?
What's up, homie?
你们好吗 室友?
I love my life again.
我又爱上我的生活了
Well, it's been a whole day since we met,
我们认识已经一整天了
so where's that free bra?
我的免♥费胸罩呢?
Max!
Max啊!
What? This one's on it's last legs.
干嘛? 这个胸罩就要断气了
Last night I heard it coughing.
昨晚我听它一直在咳
Could also use some new underwear.
也可以来几条新内♥裤
Mine are running on fumes.
我的内♥裤已经精疲力尽了
I just texted David.
我刚刚给David发了短信
He's coming.
他要来啦
This is going to be an amazing party.
一定会是很棒的派对
- Party? - Yeah.
- 派对? - 是啊
We're having some friends over.
我们邀请了几个朋友
Cool.
不错
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- 是吗? - 是啊
And like Max said, "Cool""
就像Max说的"不错"
Jeez, pull it back.
天啊 淡定一点
You're acting needier than Sofia Vergara
你表现得比红毯上的索菲娅·维加拉(女星)
on a red carpet.
还着急
Big fan.
超级粉丝
Big, big fan.
超级 超级粉丝
Compliments of the chef.
这是大厨请的
My specialty, popsicles.
我的招牌菜 冰棍
I find they taste best when sucked slowly,
我发现面对着厨房 不停地用舌头
using plenty of tongue, facing the kitchen.
慢慢地吮吸时 味道是最好的
I can't believe we're not invited
我无法相信我们没有被邀请
to the biggest party in our apartment
参加自己公寓的最大型派对
since those ants found your jelly beans.
除了蚂蚁发现了你的糖豆那次
Yoo-hoo!
呦吼!
Hi, so we're just up here hangin' out.
你们好 我们就这么被晾在上面
Doin' our Thang.
做自己的事儿
Oh, sorry, girl. Did we wake you?
对不起 美女 我们吵醒你了吗?
Go back to sleep.
回去睡觉吧
"Go back to sleep"?
"回去睡觉"?
Why does she think we're so lame?
为什么她觉得我们这么差劲呢?
Um, I don't know.
我不知道
Maybe it's 'cause you're throwing around words
可能是因为你一直在说
like "Yoo-hoo" and "Thang," Like a mom bringing cheetos
像"呦吼"和"事儿"这种话 像个带着"奇多"(零食)
down to a slumber party.
去参加睡衣派对的老妈
This is your fault.
这是你的错
They were obsessed with us until you started asking
在你像个没胸罩的流浪汉一样
for bras like some bra-less homeless person.
开口要文胸以后 她们就烦我们了
We're never gonna sleep with all that music.
音乐这么吵 我们是不可能睡着的
Check the drawer, Sophie must have ear plugs.
看看抽屉 Sophie一定有耳塞
I mean, she lives upstairs from you.
她住在你楼上 一定有耳塞
I found plugs, but I don't think they're for your ears.
我找到塞子了 但我不觉得是用在耳朵上的
It's fine, we'll just pop downstairs and say hello.
没事的 我们只要走下楼 打个招呼
Fashion's my scene.
时尚圈是我的舞台
Know what I'm seeing? That price tag.
知道我看见什么了吗? 价格标签
Oh, tuck it back in, I have to return it.
把它塞回去 我得还回去的
Okay. Remember our deal.
好了 记住我们的约定
I got up and got dressed so you're my slave for life.
我为此起床穿衣服了 你这辈子都是我的奴隶
Oh, hi, girls.
妞儿 你们好
I thought you were the man with the Greek food.
我以为你们是来送希腊外卖的人
Wow, I have definitely got to start waxing my upper lip more.
Sophie 你怎么没去佛蒙特州?
Sophie, why aren't you in Vermont?
哇 看来我一定得脱脱上嘴唇的毛了
Oh, I lied.
我撒谎了
I didn't go to Vermont.
我没有去佛蒙特州
I mean, it's far and I'm not a lesbian.
因为太远了 而且我不是女同
No, I stayed in town to spy on Oleg.
不 我是留下监视Oleg的
I mean, I know you girls think that I'm perfect,
我知道你们以为我很完美
but I have trust issues.
但我有疑心病
Well then, whose apartment is that?
那是谁的公寓?
I'm staying at Jim's.
我住在Jim家
Straight Jim's or gay Jim's?
直的还是弯的那个?
Sophie, you forgot your purse.
Sophie 你忘拿包了
Oh, I think this is mine.
我觉得这是我的
Just kidding, it's yours.
开个玩笑 这是你的
What's up, Salt N' Pepa?
你们好 "盐和胡椒"(女子组合)
Gay Jim's.
弯的那个
Oh, girls, please don't tell Oleg that I'm here.
妞儿 不要告诉Oleg我在这里
You know, I've been following him around
你知道的 我一直在跟着他
to see what he would do if I was not in town.
看看我不在的这段时间 他会做什么
And so far, you know, he's been cool.
目前为止 他表现不错
But you know the old saying:
但你知道古语有云
"Cheat on me once, shame on you.
"骗我一次 你真丢脸
Cheat on me twice, your balls are in a jar."
骗我两次 就割了你的蛋蛋装罐子里"
Oh, my god! There's a man standing in our doorway.
天啊! 有个男的站在我们门口
I have a doorman again.
我又有看门人了
Weird to see a man standing in our doorway
看到一个男的没有带着搜查令 驱逐通知
without a warrant, an eviction notice,
也没有圣经就站在我们门口
or a Bible.
真是奇怪
Excuse me, this is our apartment.
借过一下 这是我们的公寓
Yeah, we live here all the time.
对 我们一直住在这里
No biggie.
没有新闻
No biggie, and no electricity, no lease-y.
没有新闻 没有电 没有租约
Hi, I'm Caroline. This is Max.
你好 我是Caroline 这是Max
We live here.
我们住在这里
Not according to the list.
名单上没有
Sir, look, we do live here. I have a key.
先生 听我说 我们真的住这儿 我有钥匙
The key is to be on the list, which you are not.
关键就是名字在单子上 但是没有你
Okay, I can prove we live here.
好吧 我可以证明我们住这儿
Go over to the window, kick the side of radiator,
走到窗边 踢一下散热器的侧边
a panel will open up.
有个面板会打开
You'll find a half-smoked joint and another half-smoked joint.
你会发现一个吸了一半的大♥麻烟和另一个吸了一半的大♥麻烟
Proving...
证明了...
What? That you're a poor pot head?
证明什么? 你是个可怜虫?
This is crazy.
这太疯狂了
I can't believe I'm begging to get into a place
我无法相信我在乞求走进一个
I've been trying to get out of.
我一直想离开的地方
It's a very exclusive party.
这是一个非常高级的派对
It's a dump.
这是间破公寓
I should know. I live here.
我知道的 我住在这里
This night couldn't get any worse.
今晚简直不能更糟了
Turn that light off.
把灯关了
I'm watching the Victoria's Secret super model party
我正在用我的夜视镜
with my night vision goggles.
看维密超模派对
And updating.
结果更糟了
Oleg, how did you get in here?
Oleg 你怎么进来这里的?
How do you think?
你以为呢?
It's my girlfriend's apartment.
这是我女朋友的公寓
I broke in.
我闯进来的
Yes, Oleg, it's your girlfriend's apartment
没错 Oleg 这是你女朋友的公寓
where you're sitting in the dark,
你还黑灯坐着
watching models out the window with night vision goggles.
用夜视镜看窗户外的模特
Hey! My pants are on!
嘿! 我穿着裤子呢!
No, they are not!
不 你没穿!
Not my fault.
不是我的错
Five Victoria's Secret super models downstairs?
楼下有五个维密超模?
They took themselves off.
裤子是自己跑掉的
So what are you saying? You're the victim here?
所以你想说什么? 你才是受害者吗?
What would Sophie say if she came home
要是Sophie回来 看见你坐在这儿
and saw you sitting here?
她会怎么说?
She'd say, "stop hogging the goggles."
她会说"别占着望远镜"
Oleg, let me just say this:
Oleg 我得告诉你:
Vermont is closer than you think.
佛蒙特州比你想得要近
I don't know where this argument is going,
我不知道我们的争论跑题到哪儿了
but I'm going to that damn supermodel party.
但我要去参加超模派对
Oleg, it's late, I'm gonna lay this on the line for you.
Oleg 太迟了 我要冒着极大风险提醒你
You're no George Clooney.
你不是乔治·克鲁尼
You're not even George Costanza.
你连乔治·科斯坦萨(喜剧角色)都不是
These sheets are amazing
这些床单整理得太棒了
and you are never gonna do better than Sophie.
你不可能整理得比Sophie还好
She is hot and clearly has no sense of smell.
她不仅性感 还显然没有嗅觉
I love Sophie.
我爱Sophie
I'll go home.
我会回家的
On second thought, I don't trust myself
转念一想 我不相信自己能
to walk by your apartment.
经过你们公寓而不进去
Better lock me in here.
最好把我锁在这里
Caroline! Max! Come down here! Hurry!
Caroline! Max! 下来! 快点!
I knew it! See, Max?
我就知道! 看见没 Max?
They're begging us to come.
她们在求我们去
I'm back again.
我又回来啦
Are you coming?
你来吗?
Oh, let me think.
哦 让我想想
Downstairs with an open bar or up here,
是去楼下参加露天酒会呢 还是这上面
alone, with Oleg in his tighty-not-that-whities?
独自和穿着紧而不白小内内的Oleg一起呢?
Should we tie you up?
我们要把你绑起来吗?
No, it'll just make me hornier.
不了 那会让我更性奋的
I knew they wanted us to come to the party!
我就知道她们会让我们参加派对!
How could they not?
她们怎么会不愿意呢?
Last night I taught Petra how to eat bread
昨晚我教佩特拉怎么吃面包
without tearing it into little pieces first.
而不用先把它撕成小片
Don't try it. I was a Navy Seal.
别硬闯 我以前是海豹突击队的
You think you're tough?
你以为你很厉害吗?
I lived in a refrigerator box for a month.
我曾经在装冰箱的纸箱里住了一个月
With no top.
上头什么都没有
Not the box. Me.
不是说盒子 而是我的上半身
Max, Caroline, get in here!
Max Caroline 进来!
Hey! See we were invited.
嘿! 瞧瞧 我们是被邀请的
'cause we're "A" list.
因为我们是头号贵宾
The toilet is clogged and I need you to take care of it, please.
厕所堵了 我要你修好它 拜托了
"A" list as in "A" Janitor list.
是房屋看管人的"头号人选"罢了
I don't know what to do.
我不知道该怎么办
Can one of you call the concierge?
你们能打电话给前台吗?
Sure. Caroline!
当然 Caroline!
Wait, wait, wait... you didn't just call us
等等... 你们不会只是因为
down here 'cause the toilet's clogged, did you?
厕所堵了才叫我们下来的吧?
No.
不是
Okay, good.
幸好
The kitchen sink is backed up, too.
厨房水槽也堵了
But, toilet, I got this.
厕所这边 我负责修
I was almost born in one.
我几乎天生就是干这个的
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
不好意思 借过 借过
All right, everyone just calm down.
好了 大家都冷静
No need to overreact.
没必要大惊小怪
And there's the pool we mentioned in our ad.
那就是我们在广告中所说的游泳池
Oh, boy.
天啊
Yup, we got some floaters.
没错 还有漂浮者
Caroline, I'm gonna need the plunger
Caroline 我需要马桶塞
and a lobotomy.
再让我失个忆
This happens with vintage toilets.
老式马桶经常出现这种情况
Part of their old-world charm.
算是一种古典魅力
We got some charm stuck on your loofah.
有些魅力卡在你的丝瓜筋上了
Hey guys, remember last night
嘿 各位 还记得昨晚
how we just bit into that bread
我们是怎么咬面包
without chewing it? Good times.
而不撕碎它的吗? 多么欢乐的时光
I need that damn plunger, I don't want to die this way.
我要那该死的马桶塞 我不想这样死
Got it, but it's caught on something.
找到了 但它被别的东西勾住了
What kind of a dump is this?
这是什么破公寓啊?
Hey! You wanted the Williamsburg experience, this is it!
嘿! 你想要体验威廉姆斯堡生活 这就是啦!
Good news, Martha. I have your flat iron
好消息 玛莎 我把你的熨斗
looking pretty much back to normal.
恢复得和以前差不多了
Oh, that's good. Keep it.
真好 你留着吧
Again, sorry about your cashmere sweaters in here.
还有 抱歉弄脏了你的羊绒毛衣
But when we ran out of paper towels,
但我们用光了纸巾的时候
You did scream, "Just use anything, make it stop."
你确实大叫了句 "随便用什么 快把它堵上"
And of course, we'll pay to have them all dry cleaned.
当然 我们会花钱把它们都干洗的
Oh, that's nice. Keep them.
真好心 留着它们吧
Okay, we can leave.
好了 我们可以走了
I am off the phone with my therapist.
我刚和我的心理治疗师讲完电话
And it goes without saying, we won't charge you guys
不言而喻 我们不会收你们
for this weekend.
这个周末的钱
No way. Here.
不行 给你
You are taking this check and my therapist's phone number.
你们拿着这张支票和我那治疗师的电话号码
I do not know how you are standing up without him.
我不知道没有他你们是怎么挺过来的
What? Come on, this is nothing.
什么? 拜托 这不算什么
One month, the floor actually opened up and swallowed us.
曾经一整个月 地板真的裂开 还吞了我们
Yeah, we've been through worse.
是 我们经历过更惨的
Oh, it's really cool the way you two support each other.
你们互帮互助真是太酷了
Yup, we're a pair of support hose.
对 我们是一对弹力长袜
And speaking of support...
说到互助...
Here, Max.
给你 Max
No way!
不是吧!
Look, Caroline, it's a Bra-nanza!
看呐 Caroline 这是Brananza的(品牌)!
And, Caroline, since you don't really need to wear a bra...
Caroline 鉴于你并不需要穿胸罩...
Here. This apartment may be hell,
给你 这间公寓也许是地狱
but you are a real angel.
但你是真天使
Aw, my own wings?
我的翅膀?
Thank you, guys.
谢谢你们
Hey, can I ask you something?
我能问个问题吗?
As long as it doesn't have anything to do with rats.
只要是跟老鼠没有关系就行
How come you didn't invite us to the party?
你们怎么能不邀请我们参加派对?
What? I thought Martha did.
什么? 我以为玛莎跟你们说了
I thought Lily did.
我以为莉莉说了
Model moment!
模特时刻!
Pick-up, Caroline!
上菜 Caroline!
Yup, I always knew you would die here.
我一直都知道你会死在这里
Pick-up, Max!
上菜 Max!
Looking good, Max.
看起来不错 Max
After you drop that, have Caroline come back here
你们走了以后 Caroline又回来
and lock me in the walk-in till Sophie gets home.
把我锁进衣橱等Sophie回家了
Max, I just realized we're kind of the supermodels
Max 我刚刚意识到我们算是
of waitressing.
服务生中的超模
And I just realized my boobs aren't always supposed to hit
我刚刚意识到我的大胸不应该总是
my side.
垂向两边
Max, thanks for agreeing to get in the spirit
Max 谢谢你愿意融入圣诞气氛