伞学院

The Umbrella Academy S03E03

Part 2 July 12, 2022, 9:45 p.m.

God, no. Not at all. Excellent hosts.
其实真的还挺有魅力的
Really quite charming, actually. -
哦还有你们应该去看看他们的健身房♥ 好极了
Oh, and you should see their gym. Outstanding!
我真的觉得我们误会了他们
I really think we got these guys all wrong.
麻雀学院
被他们绑♥架♥了居然还这么说
Says the guy they kidnapped.
他们想要什么？
What did they want?
马库斯他失踪了
Oh. Marcus. He's missing.
他们想把他要回去而且要毫发无伤 -我们没抓他
They want him back. Unharmed. -We don't have him.
哦该死
Well, damn.
我还想着能尽快解决这个问题再开始研究第二个问题
I was hoping we'd solve that one quickly and then move on to problem number two.
消失的人
Disappearing people.
风太大了 -那孩子是谁？
Uh, it was… it was the wind. -Who's the kid?
你到底在这里做什么？
The hell are you doing in here?
剃我私处的毛你这个变♥态♥
Shaving my nest, you little perv.
别自作多情了莱拉
Don't flatter yourself, Lila.
我喜欢那些不太会在我熟睡时谋杀我的女人
I like my women a little less likely to kill me in my sleep.
我们彼此之间的了解增进了很多呢
We're learning so much about each other. -Mm.
好了够了
All right, enough.
我都忘了我有多恨你你这个该死的小白♥痴♥
I'd forgotten how much I hate you, you puny little turd.
我对你也是同感莱拉
The feeling's mutual, Lila.
虽然我很乐意继续站在这里互相捅刀子
As much as I'd love to stand here shivving each other,
我有更大的问题需要担忧
I have bigger concerns than you.
是吗？比如呢？
Yeah? Like what?
你对祖父悖论有多少了解？
What do you know about the grandfather paradox?
我读的培训手册和你的一样
Well, I read the same training manuals as you did.
为什么？ -因为这真的发生了
Why? -Because it's happening.
你是在装疯卖♥♥傻吗？ -把你的公文包交出来
You being stupid? -Hand over your briefcase.
我需要去找贺博搞明白他是怎么坐视这一切发生的
I need to go to Herb and find out how he let things get so cocked up.
在那边和我的内♥裤♥在一起把我的内♥裤♥丢给我好吗？
Over there with my knickers. Toss them to me, will you?
莱拉
Lila,
你为什么有两个公文包？
why is it you have two briefcases?
一个是你的从麻雀那里偷来的
One's yours. Nicked it from the Sparrows.
来吧试一试吧
Go on. Give it a go. -
我们先试试你的
First, we try yours.
然后再试试我的
...And then we try mine.
没错
...Yeah.
这不可能
This can't be happening.
一个公文包出故障的可能性是100万分之一而两个都…
The odds of one of them failing, it's in the millions.
微乎其微没错
But two of them… -Astronomical. Yeah.
所以这到底意味着什么？
So, what does that mean exactly?
世界末日？
End of the world?
哦比那要糟糕多了
Oh, it's much worse than that.
这意味着我们两个人必须合作
It means you and I are gonna have to work together.
该死
Shit.
纪律这就是你需要学习的东西
Discipline. That's what you need to learn.
我像你这么大的时候天不亮就起床了好吗？
When I was your age, I was up at dawn, all right?
一直在训练磨练自己的技能
I was training, honing my skills.
最重要的是…成为了一个真正的男人
The biggest thing, I was becoming a real man.
对所以你才穿那么紧的裤子吗？
Right. -Is that why you wear those tight pants? -
莱拉你得把这孩子带走
Lila? You need to take this kid with you.
你在那里面干什么？ -洗澡
The hell were you doing in there? -Bathing.
一起洗的？ -哦好吧
Together? -Oh, okay.
迪亚哥我没时间和你吵莱拉和我有重要的事要做
Diego, we don't have time for this. Lila and I have got important shit to do.
等等还有什么比家人更重要？ -嘿亲爱的
Wait. What's more important than family? -Hey, love.
世界末日天才
End of the world, genius.
莱拉
Lila?
还有什么比我们更重要？
What's more important than us?
根本就没有“我们” 迪亚哥
There is no us, Diego. -
过来
Come here.
你是什么意思？ -对你来说只过了几天
What do you mean? -Look, for you, it's been a couple days.
对我来说已经十多年了我已经想开了
For me, it has been over a decade. I've moved on.
我跟很多人上过床了
I've slept with many, many people.
很多人
Many.
我们唯一剩下的就是和我们的孩子的关系
The only relationship we have left is the one with our child.
所以你最好别搞砸了
So you better not screw that up.
等等！我该拿他怎么办？
Wait! What am I supposed to do with him, huh?
我也有重要的事情要做！
I got important shit going on too!
我深表怀疑
I doubt that.
自己想清楚吧迪亚哥做个好爸爸
Figure it out, Diego. Be a dad.
多少人算是很多人？
How many is "many people"?
比你多多了爸爸
Way more than you, Papi.
所以说街上所有人就都消失了？
So, all the people on the street just disappeared?
不是所有人只有一半吧
Well, no, not all of them, just… half of them.
五号♥也说过有动物消失了
Five did say animals were disappearing.
好吧现在肯定有人也消失了
Okay, well, now it's definitely people.
马库斯之前本来应该和我见面的但他没出现
Marcus was supposed to meet up with us earlier, but he never showed.
怎么你觉得这个祖父悖论把马库斯也吃了？
What, you think this grandfather thing ate Marcus?
不可能只是巧合吧？
It can't just be a coincidence, right? -Great.
好极了现在那些变♥态♥麻雀们以为是我们抓走了他们的一号♥
Now those Sparrow psychopaths think we took their Number One.
我们再也要不回公文包了
We're never getting the briefcase back.
好吧那如果…
Okay, what if…
如果我们说出实情呢？
What if we just told the truth?
马库斯不见了也许我们要负部分责任
Marcus is gone, and maybe we're partially responsible.
肯定会很顺利他们会为我们开派对
That'll go well. They'll throw us a party.
我打赌他们办的派对肯定很精彩
I bet they throw fantastic parties.
听着马库斯本来都准备好要把公文包还给我们了
Listen. Marcus was ready to give us back the briefcase.
如果其他家庭成员有他一半开明的话
If the rest of his family are even half as open-minded, you know,
也许我们也能和他们达成某种交易把公文包要回来
maybe we can come to some kind of an agreement, get it back.
是的好吧
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
如果你们要去的话那我应该和你们一起去
Well, if you guys are heading over there, I should probably come along.
你们懂的保护你们
You know, uh, for protection.
是
Yeah.
想得美斯德哥尔摩综合征
Nice try, Stockholm.
你待在这里不许动
Your ass is staying here.
什…
Wha...?
她说得对 -什么？
She's right. -What?
谁让你们俩发号♥施令了？
Who put you two in charge?
艾莉森…
Look, Allison…
她需要一些东西帮她分心不去想克莱尔
She needs something to take her mind off Claire.
所以我们会搞定这件事的
So, we'll handle this.
好吧收到
Yeah. Copy.
嘿多谢你关照她
Hey, um… Thanks for looking out for her.
我们收到了很多三个街区半径内的失踪人口报告
We're getting tons of missing person complaints in a three-block radius.
我觉得是歇斯底里大爆发 -他们到底想干什么？
I was thinking hysteria. -What are they up to?
谁？
Who?
伞学院
The Umbrella Academy.
好好用用脑子二号♥
Use your head, Number Two.
先是马库斯现在他们又开始抓街上的平民
First Marcus, now they're grabbing civilians off the streets?
二号♥？意思是你现在是一号♥了？
"Number Two"? I suppose that means you're Number One now?
马库斯失踪了
Marcus is missing.
我要主持大局了
I'm taking the reins.
什么？你觉得应该由你来做一把手？
What? You think it should be you?
你曾经有过一次机会
You had your chance once.
结果不是很好是吧？
Didn't turn out too well, now, did it?
你再说一次
Say that again.
不好意思孩子们你们介意我打扫一下吗？
Excuse me. Children, do you mind if I clean up?
快点弄
Do it quickly.
你知道我是尊重马库斯的 -当然了
You know I respect Marcus. -Of course.
我会尽全力保护他 -当然
I'd do anything to protect him. -Sure.
但是我们已经做了太久的二号♥和三号♥ 菲
But we've been Numbers Two and Three for far too long, Fei.
马库斯走了就该换位置了
With Marcus gone, it's moving day.
改变可以是好事
Change can be good.
想想看吧
Think about it.
你和我一起走上舞台中♥央♥
You, me, center stage.
让一切都再上一个台阶
Taking things to the next level.
那我们要如何处理伞学院的情况？
So how do we handle the Umbrella situation?
如果他们把马库斯送回来那就算了
If they bring Marcus back, so be it.
如果他们不那么做…
If they don't,
那我们就得做一些决定了
then we have some decisions to make.
马库斯不会回来了上帝把他带走了
Marcus isn't coming back. God took him.