天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S01E02

Part 4 March 5, 2021, 12:41 p.m.

It is never too late to dust off those dreams.
你知道你需要什么吗
You know what you need?
需要一趟情感支持的
A visit to the emotional
帐篷之旅
support tent.
奥斯卡你在干什么
Oscar, what are you doing?
把你锁里面
I'm locking you in.
奥斯卡放我出去
Oscar, let me out!
你知道我恪守哑剧之律的
You know that I'm bound by the laws of mime!
你得把书写完奥斯卡
You got to finish this book, Oscar.
有什么意义
Oh, what's the point?
我是个失败者是废人
I'm a failure. I'm a hack.
就算如此...
Even so...
明天就截稿了你都没开始呢
But it's due tomorrow, and you barely even started.
对但我意识到这是自我保护的方法
Yeah, and I realized, that's my way of protecting myself.
我可以说我没有时间写本好书
I get to say I didn't have time to write a great book,
而不是我写不出来
rather than finding out I can't.
就算如此...
Even so...
该吃零食了
Ah, that's my snack alert.
一天就这么一顿干货
My one solid food a day.
过来宝贝
Come here, baby.
需要加点料
Mmm. It needs something.
比如用培根裹一裹或者套个甜甜圈
Like being wrapped in bacon, sitting on a donut.
艾米丽能给我来杯饮料吗
Emily, can I get a drink here?
可以
Oh, sure.
我又不是卖♥♥酒水的不过无所谓了
I'm not a bartender, but what the heck.
我今天在全面学习新事物
I'm learning all sorts of new things today.
比如放了一天的面包特别适合做炸面包块
Like day-old bread makes great croutons,
还有老鼠并不会立刻死在老鼠夹里
and rats don't die right away in those traps.
-奥斯卡 -起开
- Oscar. - Go away.
离我挣钱的脑袋远点
Stay out of my moneymaker's brain.
抱歉泰迪你肯定很困难
Sorry, Teddy. It must be tough for you,
想想你的生存完全建立在
knowing that your livelihood depends
另一个人的毫无创造力的创造力上
on another person's fragile creativity.
我倒是不会惊讶如果说在愤怒之中
I wouldn't be surprised if under all that anger
还隐藏着一点恐惧
was a little bit of fear.
我看你怎么进来
Oh, good luck getting in here.
我老婆已经奋斗多年
My wife has been trying for years,
连门厅都没进来
and she's not even in the lobby.
我给出版社打个电♥话♥看能不能拖点时间
I'm gonna call the publisher and see if I can buy us some time.
你是怎么从帐篷里出来的
How'd you get out of the tent?
真抱歉奥斯卡全是我的错
I'm sorry, Oscar. This is all my fault.
我一直想要写一本书
You know, I always thought that I'd write a book
让大家从不同的角度来看待体育
that would make people see sports differently,
比如《点球成金》《奔腾年代》
like Moneyball or Seabiscuit.
分别是有关棒球和赛马的电影
可事实呢我现在在写一本书
But instead, I'm cranking out a book
主角有两种天赋
about a guy who has two talents...
分别是接住棒球以及得不上性病
catching baseballs and not catching chlamydia.
我没想到会让你难过
I wasn't trying to upset you.
我真的以为我有帮到你
I honestly thought I was being helpful.
真有意思我一直在否认现实
It's funny, you live in denial for so long,
根本看不到自己的可悲的处境
you can't see the sad truth about yourself
直到某天别人给你送到面前了
until someone shoves it in your face.
我做到了费里斯
I did it, Felix.
一开始我还觉得你这么挑剔太神经了
At first I thought you were crazy for being so picky,
可是现在我明白了这些细节才决定了成败
but now I see how all those details make a difference.
什么
What?
我的妈呀又咋了
Oh, for God's sake, what is wrong now?
芝麻互相之间走得太近了
Are the seeds too close together?
还是生菜太容易被人欺骗感情了
Is the lettuce too emotionally available?
这就是个汉堡包行
No, it's a hamburger, all right.
我要拍张照
I'm going to take a picture of it,
这就是我的工作
because that's what I do.
专给汉堡包拍照片
I take pictures of hamburgers.
我读大学的时候
You know, when I was in college,
我幻想自己成为安妮·莱博维茨或者理查德·阿维顿
I dreamed of being Annie Leibovitz or Richard Avedon,
均为著名摄影师
拍出人性的本质
photographing the essence of humanity.
而现在我让快餐更好看
And now, I make fast food look good
好让美国人长得更胖
so Americans can get fatter.
我不是个艺术家
I am not an artist.
我是贩售死亡的商人
I am a merchant of death!
我待会把工时表放在你桌上
I'll leave my time sheet on your desk.
费里斯要来点什么吗
Felix, can I get you anything?
就要他喝的那个吧
I'll have what he's having.
存在感危机
An existential crisis.
这是什么我搞不明白的高级饮料
Is that one of those fancy drinks?
我这第一天上岗
It's only my first day.
不是的艾米丽这是当你的生活现状
No, Emily, it's when the reality of your life crashes
跟少年梦想冲撞的意思
into the dreams of your youth.
我有个主意
Hey, I have an idea.
要不你们俩都
Why don't you both...
闭嘴
shut up?!
你说啥
I beg your pardon?
我不像别人那么出名
"I'm not as famous as some famous person."
《奔腾年代》
"Waa, waa, Seabiscuit."
你们知不知道自己多幸运
Do you guys realize how lucky you are?
至少做着自己喜欢的事还有钱拿
You get paid to do what you love.
你们再看看我
Look at me.
没有做成珠宝设计
Instead of designing jewelry,
而是整天刷厕所
I've spent the day scrubbing toilets
忙着扑灭烧着了的锅
and putting out a grease fire.
虽然是我烧着的但这不是重点
Which I started, but that is not the point!
艾米丽谢谢你讲了实话
Wow. Emily, thank you for your bracing honesty.
我们刚真的是跑偏了是吧奥斯卡
We really lost perspective there, right, Oscar?
我刚说《奔腾年代》可不是那个语气不过嘛
Well, that's not the way I said "Seabiscuit," But, yeah.
还有艾米丽我们信任你
And, Emily, we believe in you.
你所面对的这一切都是你人生旅途的一部分
All of this... this is just part of your journey.
是的你经历的这些苦难
Yeah, all this struggle is going to
都会帮助你成为更优秀的艺术家
make you a better artist.
我倒是从没这么想过
I never thought of it that way.
谢谢你们
Thank you.
芝麻开花节节高
Well, onward and upward.
加油
Go get 'em.
她的生活才叫惨呢
God, her life is a train wreck.
我好说歹说
Hey, well, I had to beg,
终于又往后拖了几天时间
but I bought us a couple of days.
行我现在要上楼去写书了
All right, I'm gonna go upstairs and write that book.
好的你戏演完了
All right, so you're done playing
白人版本的中年危机
Midlife Crisis: White People Edition?
有些人怎么一饿就变成克里斯·洛克了
Wow. Look who turns into Chris Rock when he's hungry.
黑人笑星
我也会开种族玩笑的好吗
See, I can make race jokes, too.
-你还真不会 -确实不会
- No, you can't. - No, I can't.
是啊
Yeah.
既然你在写书奥斯卡
While you are writing, Oscar,
我就优雅转身
I will gratefully rededicate myself
继续从事食物摄影了
to the art of food-tography.
-泰迪不行 -去他的减肥食谱我饿疯了
- Teddy, no! - Screw this diet. I'm starving.
那不是吃的那是纸板加发胶加油漆
That's not food. It's cardboard and hairspray and paint.
不管
I don't care.
你在这儿呢我刚把布景搭完
Oh, there you are. I just finished setting up.
别觉得非得买♥♥什么不可
Don't feel obligated to buy anything.
费里斯想给艾米丽的生意帮点忙
Felix thought Emily's business could use a little boost,
而且是在我面前说的所以我不得不干
and he said it right in front of me, so I had to agree.
我就要这只领带夹吧
I think I will take this tie clasp.
我的领带最近在闹独♥立♥
My ties have had a mind of their own lately.
是啊本来我都不想说你
Yeah, I wasn't gonna say anything.
谢谢你啊费里斯四十五块
Thank you, Felix. That'll be $45.
你呢奥斯卡
So what about you, Oscar?
-看上什么了没 -有
- Does anything catch your eye? - Yeah.
我就买♥♥这对袖扣吧送给我的朋友莫夫
I think I'll take these cuff links for my friend Murph.