天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S01E10

Part 2 March 5, 2021, 12:42 p.m.

Now, remember, to get out of your littering ticket,
你去法♥院♥的时候必须敬意满满
you have to walk into that courtroom with respect.
保持一个积极的态度
Keep a positive attitude.
傻法♥院♥ 傻警♥察♥ 傻城市
Stupid court, stupid cop, stupid city.
你可真是阳光男孩啊
Just a little ray of sunshine, aren't you?
尿骚退下
Oh, step aside, stale urine.
地铁异味大赛的冠军新鲜出炉了
We have a winner in the subway smell contest.
影响到你了吗
Oh, is it bothering you?
对不起哈
I'm so sorry.
太棒了
Oh, fantastic.
晚餐加演出
Dinner and a show.
您老能不能换个车厢吹去谢谢
Could you do that in a different car, please?
地铁啥时候成你家的了
Who made you king of the subway?
你刚刚喷了我一身咖喱肉
You just spit vindaloo all over my shirt.
你那衣服上本来就有点咖喱
Okay, some of that was already there.
我能不能消停地从甲地到乙地
Can't I just get from point "A" To point "B"
没有这些个演奏喷饭
without the music, the spitting
还有亲热戏
and the making out?
你没看到上面就有未成年怀孕广♥告♥吗
Do you not see the ad for teenage pregnancy up there?
奥斯卡淡定
Oscar, calm down.
不出地铁不离这帮傻子远点
I'm not gonna calm down until I'm off this train
我怎么淡定
and away from all these idiots.
我去他...
Son of a...
我们得在这待多久半小时
How long are we talking here, half an hour?
传♥单♥上写的是九十分钟
Well, the flier said 90 minutes.
包括小睡时间吗
With a nap in the middle?
所以要带个垫子来吗
Is that what that mat is for?
我得吃点那耐力药
I'm gonna need some of those endurance pills.
我该吃多少
How many should I take?
看看
Let's see, uh,
十四及以上
between fjorten and, uh, keveld.
做了头发化了妆
So, you just did your hair and makeup.
怎么没穿高跟鞋
No heels?
少说话
Shut up.
我就从那哪刚过来
I just came from a thing.
跟厕所的浪漫约会吗
Was it a meeting with your john?
你们看到费里斯了吗
Have you guys seen Felix?
到上课时间了
Class should be starting.
他那人不会...
It's not like him to be...
加入我吧同路人
Join me, fellow travelers,
让我们一起踏上
as we embark
自我发现之航行
on a voyage of self-discovery.
有请大家的精神船长
Please welcome your spiritual captain...
费里斯·昂格尔
...Felix Unger.
但丁呢
Where's Dante?
但丁去帕拉默斯参加他亲戚的承诺仪式去了
Okay, Dante is at his cousin's commitment ceremony in Paramus.
所以今天这堂课由我来教大家
So I have the privilege of teaching you today.
好吧
Okay.
有几个好位置空出来了
A couple of good spots have opened up, uh...
现在
Now,
你们当中可能有人知道
as some of you may know, I recently went
我最近经历了一场痛苦的离婚
through a pretty painful divorce,
在瑜伽的帮助下我撑过来了
but it was yoga that got me through it.
让我脱离螺旋
It got me out of my spiral,
释放了愤怒
let me release my anger
成为了你们眼前所见的
and become the totally centered man
这个众人瞩目的人
you see before you today.
下周但丁能回来吗
Will Dante be back next week?
我相信除非能彻底疏导好情绪
It's my belief that you haven't really practiced yoga
否则你是练不好瑜伽的
unless you've had a cathartic emotional breakthrough.
大家的穴轮集中
So hold on to your chakras,
准备开始接受合十礼吧
'cause it's about to get namaste-y up in here.
我们要以一个既能测试你体能
We will dive in with a pose that tests
又能测试你的情感力度的姿势开始
both your physical and your emotional strength,
睡眠式
yoganidrasana,
也叫人体双圈饼干
aka the human pretzel.
但丁也不是这么开始的
That's not how Dante starts the class.
好了斯蒂夫我们已经开始了
Okay, Steve, as we've established,
但丁今天不来
Dante isn't here today.
算他倒霉
Joke's on him.
停车券在我这呢
I have the parking validations.
抱歉为您带来的不便
Sorry for the inconvenience.
我们
We are...
电火
...electrical fire...
上升至三十
...up to 30 to...
耐心
...patience.
我们正努力
We're working to...
解释得真清楚
Well, that clears that up.
看来你赶不上出庭的时间了
Looks like you're gonna miss your court date.
那我就得交罚款了
So I'm gonna have to pay the fine?
这趟地铁花了我二百块啊
This is a $200 train ride.
谢谢你啊纽约
Thanks, New York.
别抱怨了
Stop complaining.
纽约是世界上最伟大的城市
New York is the greatest city in the world.
才不是这里粗鲁讨厌又埋汰
No, it's rude, obnoxious and dirty.
我知道这些词儿都可以用我身上
And I know that also describes me,
可不代表我愿意跟它相处
but it doesn't mean I want to hang out with it.
你把能在这里当做是理所当然的
You take this place for granted.
而我长在俄亥俄
Me, growing up in Ohio,
曾经只能在电视上看到电影中的纽约
I used to see New York in movies and on television.
那么令人兴奋
It looked so exciting.
让我记起第一次看到比利·乔的录像
I remember the first time I saw that Billy Joel video.
现在我就生活在那个录像中了
Now I'm living that video.
我就是窈窕淑女[上城区女孩]
I'm the Uptown Girl.
你又住不起上城区
You can't afford to live uptown.
因为我有个混账抠门的老板
'Cause I got a cheap-ass boss.
不过这里仍然是世界上最伟大的城市
But it's still the greatest city in the world.
来吧各位帮我说句话
Come on, people, back me up.
我每个月房♥租两千
I pay two grand a month for my apartment,
可我的浴缸只能装在厨房♥里
and I got a bathtub in my kitchen.
喇叭先生都有浴缸了
Mr. Trump's got his own bathtub.
真不错
Must be nice.
还能吃完了不
Does that ever end?
我昨天在公园里被抢了
I got mugged in the park yesterday.
你去公园干嘛
Why were you at the park?
你是不是去找那个唐娜去了
Were you with that whore Donna?
-不关你的事 -不关我的事
- Mind your business. - Mind my business?
好了够了你们
Okay, okay, come on, you guys.
你们忘记了那些
You're forgetting about all the great things
只能发生在纽约的伟大事情
that could only happen in New York.
将持续至少
...will now last at least...
请勿惊慌
...please don't panic...
巨蛇
...giant snake...
看到没
See?
俄亥俄就不能出这事
That would never happen in Ohio.
变为下犬式时要注意
And starting out in downward dog,
保证受力平衡
checking to make sure that your weight is balanced,
双手成小乌龟型
your hands are shaped like little turtles
脚趾张开
and your toes are laughing.
对乌龟手张脚趾低查图蓝卡式
So, turtle hands, laughing toes and lower chaturanga.
乌龟手是什么鬼
What the hell are turtle hands?
比我之前想的要难啊
This is harder than I thought.
衣服脱了会不会好点
It might help if you take off your shirt.
好
Yeah.
对了好多了
Oh, yeah, that's helping.
英格丽回舌式
Ingrid, roll your tongue back up.
现在起立做英雄二式
And now we will rise up into warrior two.
重心向前
So press your weight forward,
脊椎舒展放松双眼
your spine is breathing, soften your eyes
让肾脏可以恣意舞蹈
and give your kidneys permission to dance.
费里斯我做对了吗