天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S01E06

Part 4 March 5, 2021, 12:42 p.m.

I spend my whole life surrounded by hypochondriacs like Felix.
-我挺爱他的但他真的疯了 -是啊
- Oh, I love the guy, but he's a nut. - Yeah.
他瞎想出了个斯障病还说自己会因此而死
He's convinced he's dying of an imaginary disease called SNeRD.
其实这病是真的
Oh, actually, that's real.
是吗
It is?
真的这病相当可怕我今天看了个病人
Yeah, it's a horrible disease. In fact, I saw a patient today
她就怕自己得了这病
who's terrified she might have it.
但她没得吧
But she doesn't, right?
应该没有但她刚从斯洛伐克回来
I highly doubt it, but since she just returned from Slovakia,
我们要做些测试才能确定
we're running tests to be sure.
不过那是千分之一的几率
Um, but still, I mean, it's 1,000 to one.
不是百万分之一吗
Isn't it a million?
我以为是百万分之一
I-I thought it was a million to one.
你说这个病很严重...
When you say this disease is horrible...
到底怎么个严重法
...what do you mean, exactly?
你是真的想知道吗
Seriously? You really want to know?
反正你都提了
Well, since you brought it up.
刚开始的反应像感冒
It starts out like a cold.
发烧呼吸道症状
Fever, respiratory symptoms.
之后你的器官开始衰竭
And then your organs shut down,
你会开始流鼻血
you start to bleed out your nose
-然后你... -行了我大概懂了
- and then you... - Okay, I get the gist.
很好
Great.
我们可以不提了吗
So we can stop talking about it.
躲喵喵
Peek-a-boo.
我很喜欢这电影
Well, I loved that movie.
我很喜欢看你第一次吃酸软糖
And I loved watching you eat your first Sour Patch Kid.
感觉像看婴儿吃酸黄瓜
It was like watching a baby eat a pickle.
我喜欢欢乐版费里斯
I like Fun Felix. He's a lot better than
比那个"我耳朵上有包
Does This Bump On My Ear Mean
我不会要死了吧"费里斯好多了
I'm Dying Felix.
我知道你是开玩笑的可我耳朵上没包吧
I know you're kidding, but do I really have a bump on my ear?
因为包可能成为肿块肿块会要人命的
'Cause a bump can turn into a lump and a lump can kill you.
费里斯
Felix...
不用你说的对
No, okay, I know. You're right.
只是一时接受不了这个转变
It's just hard to flip that switch.
你知道吗
You know...
我要开始非常努力学习我的朋友奥斯卡
I am going to really try to be more like my friend Oscar.
那爷们从来啥都不担心
That guy never worries about anything.
有什么问题吗
Is something wrong?
没有我只是有点紧张
No, no, I'm just a little wound up.
那我们就放松放松
Well, then maybe we should unwind.
好嘞
Okay...
奥斯卡
Um... Oscar?
没有我在玩欲擒故纵
No, no, no, I'm just, uh, playing hard to get.
玩到什么时候
Until when?
我都在你床上了
I'm in your bed.
没错你一个美丽的女人躺在我床上
Yes, you're a beautiful woman in my bed.
这样吧我跟你一起上♥床♥
Here's an idea. I'm gonna join you.
我好美[热]
Oh, I'm hot.
我欣赏你的自信
I like your confidence.
不是我就是感觉很热
No, I just... I mean I feel really warm.
我去鼓捣下空调
Well, I'll go crank the AC.
你自便
Make yourself at home.
洗个澡也行
Feel free to take a shower.
洗个性感
A sexy...
又消毒的澡
sanitizing shower.
同志们电影看的怎么样好玩吗
Hey, guys. How was the movie? Did you have fun?
斯障病有的治了吗
Is there a cure for SNeRD?
不是吧奥斯卡你也来
Oh, come on, Oscar. Not you too?
莎侬有个病人可能得了
Sharon has a patient who might have it.
也就是她自己也可能得了
Which means she might have it,
也就是说我也可能得了
which means I might have it.
你的消毒液呢
Where's your sanitizer?
奥斯卡你反应太过了
Oscar, you're overreacting.
没错都是他的错
Yes, I am. And it's all his fault.
-怎么成我的错了 -你拿得病吓到我了
- How is this my fault? - You freaked me out about being sick.
你拖我去看的医生
You dragged me to the doctor.
你逼我看的恶心斯障病照片
You made me look at disgusting SNeRD pictures.
你入侵了我的大脑费里斯·昂格尔
You're in my head, Felix Unger.
没错是我的错我有病我正和艾米丽
I did, and I'm sorry. I have a problem, but Emily and I
讨论病情努力克服它呢
are discussing it and trying to work through it.
这瓶空了你的备货呢
This is empty. Where's your emergency stash?
给你酒奥斯卡
Here's a drink, Oscar.
不敢相信我居然被你
I can't believe you infected me
传染上了疑心病
with your hypochondria.
正视事实吧奥斯卡我们都是疑心病
Face it, Oscar, we're both hypochondriacs,
只是种类不同
just different breeds.
我是分分秒秒的往医生那跑
I run to the doctor every two seconds
希望可以掌控我的命运
in the vain hope that I can control my fate;
而你是从不去看医生假装自己不在乎
and you never go to the doctor so that you can live in denial.
说到底我们怕的都是同一样东西
But in the end, aren't we both afraid of the same thing?
死亡
Death.
我是为营造气氛故意暂停的
I was pausing for effect.
死亡
Death.
可是奥斯卡我们俩可以彼此帮助
But Oscar, you see, we can help each other through this,
因为我们可以共同面对恐惧
because we can face our fears together.
奥斯卡你有纸巾吗
Hey, Oscar, do you have a tissue?
流鼻血她的器官都衰竭了
Nosebleed. Her organs are melting.
她得斯障病
She's got SNeRD!
-什么 -等等你这是在保护我
- What? - Wait, are you
-还是拿我当肉盾 -保护你
- protecting me or using me as a shield? - Protecting you.
-那不是应该让我站你身后吗 -对了
- Well then shouldn't I be behind you? - Right.
好吧我的老天爷这是怎么回事
All right, for God's sakes, what is going on?
奥斯卡
Oscar?
不要
No, no, no!
你玩我呢吗
Oh, are you kidding me?
你热还打喷嚏又流鼻血的
Well, you're hot and you're sneezing and you're bleeding!
对因为你家暖风坏了
Yeah, because you have the heat cranked,
我又对灰尘过敏
I'm allergic to dust,
然后你的篮球砸我脸上了
and your basketball hit me in the face.
你要是爱过敏我认识个专家
You know, if you have allergies, I have a specialist...
行了这样吧
Okay, you know what?
你这个疯子
You're a lunatic.
你俩都是疯子
You're both lunatics.
费里斯你换个医生给你看吧
Felix, you can find a new doctor.
奥斯卡你换个女友吧
And Oscar, you can find a new girlfriend.
才约了四次她就把自己当我女友
Four dates and she thinks she's my girlfriend.
究竟谁是疯子
Who's the lunatic now?
费里斯
Felix.
告诉我那不是真的
Tell me it's not true.
恐怕确实如此安妮
I'm afraid it is, Annie.
我和麦克马纳斯医生再也不来往了
Dr. McManus and I are no longer seeing each other.
可你们很配啊
But you were so good together.
安妮世事无常
Annie, these things happen.
你是个勇敢的女孩
You're a brave little girl.
我不希望你把错怪在自己身上
I do not want you to blame yourself.
我只是过来取回我的东西
I'm just here to collect my things
然后继续生活
and get on with my life.
当然
Of course.
我把病例都给你备好了
We've got your records for you.
好
Okay.
我想是时候说再见了
I guess this is good-bye.
照顾好自己
Take care of yourselves.
安妮周二我们晚饭见
Annie, I'll see you for dinner on Tuesday.
再见保重
Good-bye. Take care.
圭子保持微笑
Keiko, keep smiling.
或者口罩下的什么表情
Or... whatever you're doing under there.
弗兰克结石排出去的时候记得我
Frank, think of me when you pass that stone.
我会的
I will.
我希望你们知道对我来说