天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S01E05

Part 3 March 5, 2021, 12:42 p.m.

Well... it's recent.
你那男友哪儿去了
Now, where is that boyfriend of yours?
你那男友哪儿去了
Now, where is that boyfriend of yours?
-奥斯卡 -干嘛费里斯
- Oscar! - What is it, Felix?
-奥斯卡 -干嘛费里斯
- Oscar! - What is it, Felix?
我这边忙着呢艾世丽
I'm kind of in the middle of something. Oh, hey, Ashley.
我这边忙着呢艾世丽
I'm kind of in the middle of something. Oh, hey, Ashley.
奥斯卡听说你有新情人儿了
Oscar. I was just hearing about your new romance.
奥斯卡听说你有新情人儿了
Oscar. I was just hearing about your new romance.
情人儿还称不上
Oh, well, I wouldn't call it a romance.
情人儿还称不上
Oh, well, I wouldn't call it a romance.
但如果我计划成功了今晚就有床单可以滚了
But if I play my cards right, I might get lucky tonight.
但如果我计划成功了今晚就有床单可以滚了
But if I play my cards right, I might get lucky tonight.
我觉得艾米丽总该有点发言权的
Well, I feel like Emily would have some say in that.
为什么据我所知她说了又不算
Why? Last time I checked, it wasn't up to her.
一如既往的有格调奥斯卡
Classy as ever, Oscar.
我晚点再找你
I'll catch up with you later.
怎么回事
What's going on?
艾米丽现在是你的约会对象了
Emily is now your date.
什么不要为什么
What?! No! Why?
艾世丽没有带约会对象带了个讨厌的跟班
Ashley didn't bring a date, she brought a sassy sidekick!
所以艾米丽就扔我这了别生气
So I get stuck with Emily? No offense.
有那么点
Some taken.
你还没明白这意味这什么吗
Don't you see what this means?
艾世丽还没放下
Ashley hasn't moved on.
我得找点水喝
I have to get some water.
希望在冲击着我的胸膛
I'm feeling the flush of hope.
反正还是低调点吧
All right, well, keep a low profile.
如果奥莉薇亚以为我们在一起那就毁了
If Olivia thinks we're together, it'll ruin everything.
我大学时没抓住机会跟她在一起
I missed my chance with her in college.
这一回不会让任何事阻碍我了
I'm not gonna let anything stand in the way this time.
奥斯卡·麦迪逊
Oscar Madison!
我的妈呀蒂娜
Oh, my good God. Deena.
这是命运啊
Is this fate or what?
奥斯卡跟我是同事
Oscar and I work together.
我是他节目的广♥告♥主大金主
Well, I'm an advertiser on his show, but a big one!
那老大了
Too big to ignore.
奥斯卡我听说你离婚了
Oscar, I hear you're divorced.
我们一直有一个梗是"他们到底会不会"
We always had this little "Will they or won't they" thing going on.
基本是不会
Mostly won't.
因为我们俩总是没有同时单身过
Well, that's just because we were never single at the same time.
不过我现在觉得问题是
But now I guess the question is:
何时何地
"When they?" And "Where they?"
我想答案只能是"永远不会"和"哪都不行"
Well, I think the answer has to be "Never" And "Nowhere,"
因为这是我未婚妻艾米丽
Because this is my fiance, Emily.
就刚不久的事
It's very recent.
你订婚了真的
You're engaged? Really?
我看了看那个棕色脑袋就想说
Yeah. I took a look at that little... brown head and thought,
行呗不订白不订
"Sure. Why not?"
我呢又有恋父情结所以
And I have daddy issues, so...
白白蒂娜
Well, bye, Deena.
我现在成你未婚妻了我必须得拒绝她
So now I'm your fiance? I had to shut her down,
不然她在奥莉薇亚面前会粘着我不放
or she'd be all over me in front of Olivia.
谢谢你没有揭穿我
Thanks for not busting me.
不不谢谢你下个礼拜
No, thank you for promoting my jewelry business
在节目里宣传我的珠宝生意
on your radio show next week.
你敲诈我
You're blackmailing me.
敲得漂亮
I'm so impressed.
我知道行云流水一般对吧
I know. I did it really good, right?
真抱歉
I'm sorry.
那是餐桌摆花不是随便什么摆设
It's called a centerpiece, not a jarringly off-centerpiece.
费里斯
Felix?
我以为跟奥斯卡住在一起让你看得开了
I thought living with Oscar had loosened you up.
有的
Oh. Oh, it has.
还蛮有趣以前很多事都让我抓狂
It's funny, things that used to drive me crazy,
现在都不在乎了
I just don't even notice anymore.
那如果我这样你也无所谓
So you won't care if I do this?
无所谓
Not a bit.
你不会在我走开之后马上就整理吗
You're not gonna fix it as soon as I walk away?
多大点儿事
No big dealio.
费里斯我得把艾米丽存在你这儿
Felix, I need to park Emily here with you.
要不你俩直接拿个链子给我拴上
Maybe there's a bike rack you guys can chain me to.
如果奥莉薇亚以为我俩是一对我就没戏了
If Olivia thinks we're a couple, I'll lose my shot.
还有你是不是刚睡醒
Also, did you just wake up?
奥斯卡我同情你真的
Oscar, look, I feel for you, I really do,
可是你答应过在艾世丽面前说我好话
but you promised that you would talk me up to Ashley
让她相信我已经改变了
and convince her that I've changed.
快去赶紧
Go! Now!
告诉她我上次还吃过墨西哥奶酪玉米片
Tell her about the time I ate nachos.
跟我讲讲奥斯卡费里斯最近如何
So, tell me, Oscar, how is Felix doing?
刚开始还是很困难的心情比较的灰暗
Well, it was difficult at first. He was in a pretty dark place.
那肯定的谁让他要跟你住
Hmm. Must have been. He chose to live with you.
我忘了我们讨厌彼此
I forgot, we don't like each other.
不过艾世丽他真的是改变了
No, but, Ashley, he's really changed.
他确实看开不少重新做人了玉米片
He's, uh, really loosened up. Whole new man. Nachos.
他还吃玉米片奥莉薇亚
He eats nachos. Olivia?
奥斯卡我一直在找你
Oscar, I've been looking for you.
我得跟你坦白个事
I have a confession to make.
我还挺希望你今晚在这儿的
I was really hoping you'd be here tonight.
-是吗 -是啊
- You were? - Yeah.
还记得大学里的那次派对
Remember that party in college?
当时好像你跟我差点就在一起了
Seemed like you and I almost... got together.
天我经常想起那天晚上
God, I've thought about that night a lot.
真的吗
Really?
也许现在正好是时候弥补
Well, maybe now is our chance to make up for it.
奥斯卡·麦迪逊
Oscar Madison!
蒂娜是蒂娜
Deena. It's Deena.
你的未婚妻呢
Where's your fiance?
-没没 -未婚妻
- No, no. - Fiance?
你还没见过呢她挺可爱的
Oh, you haven't met her? Oh, she's lovely.
她在这儿呢艾米丽
Oh, here she is. Emily.
你估计是忘了给我介绍了
I guess you forgot to tell me about her.
我叫奥莉薇亚恭喜你们订婚
I'm Olivia. Congratulations on your engagement.
希望你这次好运
Good luck with this one.
等等奥斯卡你告诉她我们订婚了
Wait. Oscar, you told her that we're engaged?
我还以为你要告诉她你喜欢她
I thought you were gonna tell her that you liked her.
我明白这是怎么回事了
Oh. Now I see what's going on here.
你们俩都同意对方在外面乱搞
You two... have an open relationship.
284房♥间
Room 284.
我有点累了
Well, I'm kind of beat.
你去吧亲爱的
You go ahead, honey.
你态度已经表达到了让我把你头发搞一搞
Okay, you've made your point. Just let me fix your hair.
我完全给忘了
Oh, I had forgotten all about that.
不过如果你已经抓狂
But if it's driving you crazy to the point
没什么别的事可干那随便你
where you can't think of anything else, go ahead.
你知道不挺有趣的
Oh, you know what? Oh, that's funny.
这儿有把梳子
Oh, here's a comb.
我要不用它一用
Why don't I take a crack at it there?
回来了
Hmm. There he is.
这就是我记忆中的费里斯
There's the Felix I remember.
沙嗲鸡肉加泰式辣酱
Chicken satay with spicy Thai dipping sauce?
那你还记得我这样吗
Well, do you remember me doing this?
人家不是说了这是泰国[音同领带]蘸酱吗
Well, she did say it was a tie dipping sauce.
-餐巾 -不用用不着
- Napkin? - No. No need, no need.
一代费里斯一定会满脑子都在合计
Old Felix would've been thinking about
他指尖里得藏了多少细菌
all those microbes hiding in the ridges of his fingertips.
我不骗你
I won't lie to you.
二代也是这么想的
That did occur to new Felix, as well.
人生苦短
But life is short.
现在可能要更短了
Probably a little bit shorter now.
干得漂亮