天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S01E11

Part 4 March 5, 2021, 12:42 p.m.

好了下一组人要来了
Okay, next group's just arrived.
督察生机勃勃点
Inspector, look alive.
移♥民♥们死气沉沉点
Immigrants, look barely alive.
太棒了
Yeah.
真爽
Yes, this is hot.
好舒服
It is hot.
奥斯卡
Oh, Oscar!
墨菲
Oh, Murph!
不我没说
No, I didn't!
是的你说了
Yes, you did.
你叫我墨菲
You called me Murph.
不我叫你Nerf
No, I called you Nerf.
玩具品牌大部分玩具是发射以NERF海绵为基础材料制成子弹的玩具枪
因为你又软又湿
'Cause you're soft and squishy
像是一个给孩子玩的足球
like a child's football.
好吧我是叫了你墨菲
All right, I called you Murph.
我的天为什么
Oh, my God! Why?
我们做的时候你是不是一直在想着墨菲
Were you thinking about Murph while we were...?
不我是说是的
No! No! I mean yes.
但不是那个意思
But not in that way.
自从我听说你和墨菲的事情之后
Ever since I heard about you and Murph,
我一直很担心怎么才能...
I've been worried about how I would...
和他比
compare.
真的吗
Really?
我知道我不应该这样想
I know, I shouldn't have.
还是说我应该
Should I have?
奥斯卡你什么都不用担心
Oscar, you have nothing to worry about.
我喜欢你向我展示你脆弱的一面
And I like that you're being vulnerable with me.
这是我和墨菲之间无法拥有的
I never had that kind of connection with Murph.
很好
Good.
因为我的兄弟们让我很担心
'Cause the guys had me all worried.
泰迪和费利克斯说
Teddy and Felix were like,
"布鲁柯和墨菲没关系了吗
"Brooke's done it with Murph?
那家伙真的可以一锤到底
That guy can really bring down the hammer.
可厉害了"
Damn!"
真的吗
Really?
然后我的助理说
And then my assistant said
性感的男人做不成好情人
that hot guys don't make good lovers.
然后我的理发师一个性感的家伙
And then my barber, who's pretty hot,
但也没有墨菲那么性感表示赞同
but not as hot as Murph, agreed.
我不应该说这些的是吧
I shouldn't have said that last part, huh?
你已经跟很多人谈论了墨菲
You've talked to a lot of people about Murph.
或许你也该跟一个心理医生谈谈
Maybe you should talk to a therapist, too.
因为很显然你被他迷住了
Because clearly you're obsessed.
好吧我只是...
Well, I was just...
感到很脆弱
feeling so vulnerable.
不第二次就不管用了
Nope. Not gonna work twice.
好吧那接吻呢
Well, what about the kissing?
我怎么才能比得上墨菲
How did I compare with Murph?
我们都想知道答案啊
The guys are gonna want to know!
你会在这里生活得很好
You will do well here
只要你努力工作
if you work hard
并且不惹是生非
and keep your nose clean.
这也是一条给我们所有人的忠告孩子们
And that's good advice to all of us, boys and girls.
因为鼻腔健康可不是个玩笑
Because nasal health is no laughing matter.
欢迎
Welcome...
来到美国
to America!
下一位是谁
Who's next?
是我罗万·奥弗兰内瑞
'Tis I, Rowan O'Flannery.
一个卑微的屠夫来自软木县
A humble butcher from County Cork.
还有我的妻子柯林
And my wife Colleen,
她正怀着孩子
who is ripe with child.
我们因饥饿而虚弱
We are faint from hunger.
从土豆的幻影中逃离出来
Fleeing from the potato phantom.
是 "饥荒"
It's "famine."
这听起来通顺多了
Oh, that makes a lot more sense.
我们已经航行了这么远
We have taken this long voyage
就是为了确保
to make sure that
我们的孩子能在美国出生
our baby will be born American.
别这么着急
Not so fast!
你想干什么剧本不是这么写的
What are you doing? This isn't in the script.
好吧
Well!
我的工作就是确保
It's my job to make sure
你拥有足够的道德操守
that you have the moral fortitude
成为一个美国人
to be an American.
比方说你是否和一个不是你妻子的女人上♥床♥了
For example, have you laid with a woman who is not your wife?
你怎么能侮辱我的人格长官
How dare you impugn my character, sir!
这是个厚颜无♥耻♥的谎言
That is a boldface lie!
是吗你没有和一个
Is it? You haven't been consorting
大胸俄♥罗♥斯♥女人交往吗
with a certain busty Russian?!
他在说什么斯图尔特
What is he talking about, Stuart?
他对你劈腿了
He is two-timing you.
他是个流氓和无赖
He is a cad and a bounder!
入境...被拒
Entry de... nied!
这就是为什么我们不能
This is why we can't talk
谈论我们关系的原因吗
about our relationship?
这样你就能背叛我
So you can cheat on me?
克丽等等
Kerry, wait!
好了孩子们到零食时间了
Okay, kids, time for the snack bar.
每人一份自♥由♥薯条
Freedom fries for everyone!
你被炒了
You're done here.
下个月怎么办
What about next month's LARP?
别在妄想可以出演《阿♥拉♥莫之战》了
Oh, you can forget the Alamo.
好吧谢谢你对我的羞辱
Well, thank you for humiliating me.
你是说感谢我把你从那个骗子手中拯救出来吗
Don't you mean thank you for saving you from that phony?
我能照顾好自己
I can take care of myself.
很明显你不能
Uh, obviously you can't.
也多亏你我丢了我的督察的工作
And thanks to you, I've lost my inspectorship.
糟糕
Oh, no!
历史白♥痴♥们得找一个新领头人了
The history dweebs will have to find a new king!
拜托你得承认这荒唐透顶了
Oh, come on, you have to admit this is ridiculous.
那你为什么自愿参加
Then why did you volunteer for it?
因为你问了我
Because you asked me.
因为你是我的朋友而我想要和你分享
Because you're my friend and I wanted to share it with you!
好吧你是我的朋友而我想要支持你
Well, you're my friend and I wanted to support you!
这说明你是一个极好的人
Which is what makes you such a wonderful person!
谢谢你注意到了这一点
Thank you for noticing!
你值得一个比他更好的人
And you deserve someone better than him!
看起来我们正分享着
It seems like we're sharing
美妙的一刻
a really nice moment!
是的
It does!
我要不要给我们俩拿几杯拿铁在船上喝
Should I get us some Lattes for the ferry?
那太好了我给你留个位子
That would be great. I'll save you a seat.
船上见
I'll see you there.
我们还一起去胡子节吗
We still on for Beard Fest?
那儿有个山羊胡子抚爱式动物园
There's a goatee petting zoo.
很好船上见
Fair enough. See you on the ferry.
再见医疗总督察
Farewell, Chief Medical Inspector
格迪恩·格兰维尔-弗兰彻列
Gideon Granville-Fletchley.
等我把你缝成
Till I sew you into an outfit
一件文艺复兴节用的服装
for the Renaissance Faire.
我想我们今晚都被拒绝了
I guess we both got rejected tonight.
我被一个女人拒绝而
Me by a woman and...
你被社会的渣滓拒绝了
you by the dregs of society.
好吧希望你意识到了
Well, hope you've learned the dangers
把自己和他人相比的危险性
of comparing yourself to other people.
我们不需要为朋友们在卧室里如何表现而担心
We don't need to worry about how our friends are in the bedroom.
不是说我们坐在这里想象
It's not like we sit around wondering
泰迪的性生活是什么样的
about Teddy's sex life.
不我们没有
No, we don't.
不过我猜测他应该是很保守的那种