天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S01E12

Part 3 March 5, 2021, 12:43 p.m.

- 那你为什么不... - 检查一下
- Why didn't you...? - Check her out?
我应该怎么检查给她做个超声波吗
What was I supposed to do? Give her a sonogram?
我是说我什么都做不了
I mean, I can't do everything...
抱歉我... 我打断了你
Sorry, I... interrupted you.
你刚才想说什么
What were you gonna say?
我... 我刚才想说
I... I was gonna say
你为什么不告诉我
why... why didn't you tell me?
我想给你个惊喜而且我想
Well, I wanted to surprise you, and I figured
如果这匹马赢了那我就可以给你买♥♥
if the horse came in, then I could buy you
你很想要的那个古董八音盒了
that vintage music box you were looking at.
天啊我可喜欢那个八音盒了
Oh, my God, I loved that music box.
你怎么记得的
How do you even remember that?
我就是记得了
I just did.
但是奥斯卡
But, Oscar,
你应该告诉我的
you could've told me!
你总让我做恶人你也从不相信我
You always make me the bad guy and you never trust me...
我想说的是
What I mean to say is
谢谢你
thank you.
不客气
You're welcome.
我只是季节性感冒
Oh, that was just seasonal allergies.
晚餐真不错费利克斯
Dinner was great, Felix.
我知道我们之前有好好的在这张桌子上吃过饭吗
I know. Did we ever actually eat at this table?
没有我们以前在这上面放信件
Mm, no. We used to stack mail on it
付账单
and pay bills on it.
有天晚上我们还在这上面干了点别的
There was that one night we did something else on it.
明天
And tomorrow,
我就把这张桌子劈了当木柴
I chop this table into firewood.
算好了
Well... I'm finished.
结果是什么
And?
根据我的计算
And according to my calculations,
你们的纳税申报表有些不符
there is a discrepancy in your tax return.
一共有1200美元
In the amount of $1,200...
是他们要还给你的
that they owe you!
你们喜欢我像刚才那样拖延时间
You like how I dragged it out like that
来营造紧张气氛吗
to build up the tension?
不
No!
但是这真是个安慰
But what a relief!
我有1200美元可以花了
I got $1,200 to spend.
不对我有600美元可以花了
I've got $600 to spend.
好了
Yeah.
我要上♥床♥睡觉了
I'm off to bed.
盖比见到你真高兴
Gaby, wonderful seeing you.
费利克斯如果没有你
Ah, Felix, we couldn't have done it
- 我们也做不成谢谢你 - 是的
- without you. Thank you. - Yeah.
干得真不错哥们
Great job, buddy.
好了那么我们扯平了
Yes, so we're even.
你什么意思
What do you mean?
我们扯平了你的账簿
We're even. The books.
已经核对正确了
Numbers-wise. Yeah.
不然我还能是什么意思
What else could I mean?
我很累了
Somebody's tired.
不不我现在都快喘不上气来了
No, no. I'm pumped.
我都等不及我们一起去税务局
I can't wait till we go down to the IRS
然后用这张报表糊他一脸
and just rub it in that jerk's face.
"我们" 你想让我也一起去吗
"We"? You want me to come?
是啊你一定得来
Yeah, you've got to come.
是你促成了这件事
You're the one that got us out of this.
我记住了
Remember that.
晚安
Good night!
奥斯卡我做了一件大错事
Oscar, I did something terribly wrong.
错在没敲门就进来了
Was it not knocking, or was it
还是在看到我俩在行床笫之欢后依旧站在这里
staying in the room after you've seen us?
- 谢谢你能来 - 没关系
- Thank you for coming up. - Of course.
你一定很尴尬
You must've been so embarrassed.
我真的很囧上一分钟他们的舌头
I was mortified. One minute, they're at
还在对方的喉咙里下一分钟他们就在对方的...
each other's throats, the next, they're at each other's...
好吧我什么都不知道
Well, I don't know.
我当时瞎了
I went hysterically blind.
这完完全全是我的错
This is completely and entirely my fault.
你也有一部分责任
And a little bit yours.
能给我解释下吗
You want to take me through that?
我就是那个向税务局举报奥斯卡的人
Well, I'm the one who tipped off Oscar to the IRS,
但你是那个让我帮他们搞定这事的人
but you were the one who told me to help them get along,
我也帮他们搞定了皆大欢喜
which I did, all too well.
也许这就是命中注定
Maybe it's meant to be.
有时候两个人之间有了激♥情♥
Sometimes two people have passion between them,
只有一种方式可以抒发
and there's only one way for it to come out.
也许你是对的
Maybe you're right.
我这看透人心的能力真讨厌
Damn my ability to read people!
是啊没什么能逃过你的法眼
Yup. Nothing gets by you.
你还有劲走路啊
Wow, you still have the energy to pace.
我肯定对你没有吸引力了
I must've lost my touch.
我只是在想费利克斯
I'm just thinking about Felix.
果真没吸引力了
Really lost my touch.
我只是在脑中描绘他如何
I just picture him in my head lecturing me about
说教我和你上♥床♥是个糟糕的主意
how sleeping with you might've been a bad idea.
你觉得他会这么想吗
Is that what you think he thinks?
还是说你是这么想的
Or is that what you think?
我吗才不是
Me? No.
我很享受
I'm enjoying the moment.
是费利克斯想得太多
It's Felix who thinks too much.
我还是有点在意费利克斯
Still a little Felix in there.
费利克斯是谁
Who's Felix?
好吧谢谢你能来
Well, thank you for being here.
别开玩笑了
Oh, are you kidding?
你能给我打电♥话♥我很高兴
I'm glad you called me.
你是我第一个想到的人
Yeah, you were the first person I thought of.
真的吗
Really?
对啊还有
Mm-hmm. Oh, and...
抱歉我把你吵醒了
sorry to wake you up, by the way.
别再道歉了
Stop apologizing.
你没吵醒我
You didn't wake me.
别再对自己这么苛刻了
And stop being so hard on yourself.
看看我眼中的费利克斯吧
Try to see the Felix that I see.
他关心身边的每一个
The one who cares so much about his friends
被他折磨得发疯的朋友
that he drives everybody crazy.
主要都是他自己
Most of all himself.
我本来
You know, I was actually
都快习惯了这个每年都
getting used to the idea that every year
愈加变得冷漠和灰暗的世界
the world was getting a little colder and grayer.
然后我遇见了这位悲观却风趣
And then I meet this sad, funny,
独一无二的男子有着广阔的胸襟
exceptional man who wears his big heart
穿着褶皱完美的袖套
on his perfectly creased sleeve and...
我也不清楚
I don't know...
一切都不同了
everything's different.
所以是啊
So, yeah.
我想你的确让我清醒了费利克斯·亚格
I guess you did wake me up, Felix Unger.
奥斯卡怎么了
Oscar, what is wrong?
还在想着费利克斯
Still thinking about Felix.
阳台烟还有吗
Do we have any patio cigarettes left?
我都"喝"完了
I drank them all.
你去哪
Where you going?
去把这吹毛求疵的声音从我脑袋里赶走
To get that persnickety voice out of my head.
费利克斯你到底是怎么想的
Felix, what the hell were you thinking?
现在我明白为什么你刚刚不动了
Now I see why you didn't leave.
我的脚也不听使唤了
My feet won't move!
有看到费利克斯吗
Any sign of Felix?
我醒的时候他就不在了
Uh, he was gone when I woke up.
估计觉得太尴尬了吧
He was probably really embarrassed.
我进去的时候他白得和床单似的
When I walked in, he was white as a sheet.