米勒一家（2013）

如果你一直忙于照顾我
You're never going to grow as a person
你就没法成长了
if you're so busy trying to take care of me.
所以 即刻起
So from now on,
你就把这个走廊当做美-墨边界
think of this hallway as the U.S.-Mexico border.
没有我的允许 你不得越过
You don't cross without my permission
而我也不会越界 除非我喝醉了
and I won't come over unless I'm drunk
想找些便宜的药剂用用
and looking to score cheap medication.
好吗
Okay?
再见了 朋友们
Adios, amigos!
他疯了
He's loco.
彻底疯了
Muy loco.
雷 好的
Ray. Yeah.
不 听着 很抱歉我迟到了
No, listen, sorry I'm late.
我知道今天有慈世平的采访
Yes, I know that the Metta interview is today.
但我 我睡过了 好吗
But I just... I overslept, okay?
千万 千万别告诉我妈妈
So just... please don't tell my mother.
赶紧来 伙计
Well, just hurry up, man.
很多孩子都以为我就是慈世平
Most of these kids think I'm Metta World Peace.
好的嘞
There you go.
待在学校别乱跑
Stay in school.
我这就来
Okay, I'm on my way.
这个 我想要
Here, I'd like to just
-加50美元的6号♥汽油 -好的
- put $50 on pump number six. - Of course.
等我帮这个小萝莉选好棒棒糖先
As soon as I help this little lollipop find herself a lollipop.
记住了 你选的口味能反应出你的特性
Now, remember, the flavor you pick says a lot about you.
比如说 蓝莓味表示你很忧伤
For instance, blueberry means you're sad.
樱桃味表示你很时髦
And cherry means you're sassy.
能帮我加50美元的6号♥汽油吗
Can I just put the $50 on pump six?
先生 我正在帮这个小姑娘找寻自我呢
Sir, I am trying to determine who this little girl is.
她正处于需要发现自我的年纪
She is at a very tender age of self-discovery.
所以
So...
我想选 橙子味
I'm thinking about... orange?
别急于做决定
Well, don't rush into it.
-你有试过柑橘味吗 -那是什么味道
- Have you tried tangerine? - What's it like?
跟橙子差不多 你知道吗 够了
It's a lot like orange. You know what? This is enough.
该让成年人上班去了 就这样吧
Time for the grown-ups to go to work, so just, here.
都拿走吧 算我的 给你
Take 'em all, on me. There you go.
圣诞快乐 生日快乐
Merry Christmas. Happy birthday.
吃完好好看牙医
Good luck at the dentist.
剩下的钱都加6号♥汽油 行吗
Put whatever's left on pump number six, okay?
快看啊 那是慈世平
Check it out! That's Metta World Peace!
爸爸
Daddy...
那边那个陌生人对我大吼大叫
that stranger right there yelled at me
非让我把这些糖都拿着
and made me take all this candy.
他怎么会在加油站
Why was he even at that gas station?
他可是美国职篮的超级巨星
He's an NBA superstar.
如果他汽油用完了
When he runs out of gas,
不是应该买♥♥辆新车吗
shouldn't he just buy a new car?
内森 冷静点
Nathan, calm down.
慈世平只看了你一眼
Metta only saw you for a second.
他可能根本就不记得你
He probably won't even recognize you.
想得美
Nice try.
我的骨骼精奇 棱角分明
This geometrically ideal bone structure
会让人一见难忘
of mine is pretty unforgettable.
不如我们把你伪装一下吧
What if we got you a disguise?
黛比 失物招领箱在哪儿
Hey, Debbie, you got a lost-and-found box?
就在那里
Oh, yeah, yeah. It's over there.
也许我们应该
Maybe we should just...
把你的发型弄乱一点
mess your hair up a little bit.
休想碰我的头发
Never, ever touch my hair.
我带着22张布莱恩·威廉姆斯[主播]的照片
I did not bring in 22 photos of Brian Williams
才让发型师整出来的发型不是让你弄乱用的
to my barber to have you mess it up.
这里就只有围巾
There's nothing but scarves in here.
谁会给九岁小儿买♥♥围巾
Who buys a nine-year-old a scarf?
他们显然会弄丢啊
Obviously, they're just gonna lose it!
找到了
I got it.
我得借用一下这个
I'm gonna borrow these.
我们会把你打扮成克拉克·肯特
We'll Clark Kent you.
很有奇客风格
Geek chic.
他来了 他来了
He's coming, he's coming!
好的 开始录制
All right. Great. Uh, start rolling.
也许他就顾着迎合摄像机
Maybe he'll be too busy playing to the camera
注意不到我呢
to even recognize me.
黛比
Uh, Debbie...
你得牵制一下他的女儿
Uh, you gotta distract his daughter.
没问题 没问题
I'm on it. I'm on it.
好的
Okay.
您好 您好
Hi. Hi.
很高兴见到你们 我是老师黛比
Nice to meet you. I'm the teacher, Debbie.
慈善·世界·和平
Metta World Peace.
这是我女儿钻世平
This is my daughter, Diamond.
-你好呀 宝贝 -你好
- Oh, hi, sweetie. - Hi.
不如你
Why don't you, um,
不如你过来站在我旁边吧
why don't you come stand over here with me?
我的天哪 你的眼睑可真漂亮
Oh, my goodness, what beautiful eyelids you have.
你能闭上眼让我好好看看你的眼睑吗
Can you close you eyes so I can get a better look at 'em?
看呐 孩子们 看看谁来了
Hey, kids, look who's here.
美国职篮巨星 巨星作家
It's NBA superstar slash author
一切平和有理的事物的巨星大使
slash ambassador of all things calm and reasonable,
慈善·世界·和平
Metta World Peace!
谢谢 非常荣幸
Thank you. It's an honor to be here with...
慈世平 我很喜欢阅读你的作品
So, uh, Metta, listen, I really loved your book,
《慈世平和爱的故事》
Metta World Peace and Love Stories.
-我 -我们之前有见过吗
- I, um... - Have we met before?
没有 除非你在
Oh, well, not unless you volunteer at
善待儿童医院做过志愿者
the Be Nice to Children's Hospital,
因为我是那里的常客
'cause I'm there all the time.
不管怎样 你的书中我最喜欢的一部分是
Anyway, my favorite part of your book was...
等等
Wait a second.
钻世平 就是这个人对你扔棒棒糖吗
Diamond, is this the man who threw lollipops at you?
就是他
That's him.
他对我大吼大叫 而且他口气很重
He yelled at me and his breath was stinky.
那是因为我早上没刷牙就急匆匆出门了好吗
Hey, I left the house quick this morning, all right?
而且说大吼大叫有点过
And "yelled" Is a very strong...
我只是告诉她橙子和柑橘两种口味相似
I just told her that orange and tangerine were similar flavors.
才不是呢 区别大着呢
No, they're not. They're wildly different.
你不仅乱给我女儿棒棒糖 还骗她
You've been feeding my daughter lollipops and lies.
我不是故意要
Hey, I really didn't mean...
也许你也该尝尝
Maybe you should see what it feels like
被比你个子大的人恐吓是个什么滋味
when someone bigger makes you afraid.
听我说 和平先生
Listen, Mr. Peace,
孩子们是来听你谈你的书的
the kids came here to hear about your book,
而不是来看我们打架的
not to watch us fight.
打架 打架 打架
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
-打架 打架 -不不不
- Fight! Fight! - No, no, no, no, no.
你怎么会觉得我们会打起来
What makes you think we're gonna fight?
也许我只会对你大吼大叫两句
Maybe I'm just gonna yell at you
就像你之前对我女儿钻世平大吼大叫那样
like you yelled at my daughter Diamond.
怎么了
What's happening?
我什么都看不清了
Can't see anything!
为啥我脚不沾地了
Why am I off the ground?
戴着那副眼镜我什么都看不清
I couldn't see anything through those glasses.
我以为那个小姑娘是把椅子
I thought that little girl was a chair.
你当时又在哪里呢 雷
And where were you, Ray?
你不是该力挺我的吗
You're supposed to have my back.
不 我说的是如果那个人低于1米7
No, I told you I have your back
不到90公斤我才会力挺你
for anyone under five-seven and below 200 pounds.
好吧 如果我被杰森·亚历山大
Great. I'll let you know
袭击了我会记得告诉你的
if I ever get attacked by Jason Alexander.
内森
Nathan...