米勒一家（2013）

小小的偷♥窥♥窥一下
A little peeky-poo?
小小的偷了个窥了个偷
A little, a little pookity-peekity?
也许我是有时会偷♥窥♥
Maybe I peek a little.
我要对着你吹口哨[检举你] 凯洛
I'm gonna blow my whistle on you, Carol!
来 抱一个
Come here, you!
我想说的是
What I'm saying is...
我一天24小时全用于工作
I live this job 24 H's a D.
事实上我就住在后面的一间房♥间里
I actually live in a room out back.
但每月有一个周末我不住那里
Except for one weekend a month.
那两天是献给国民警卫队的
Those two days belong to the National Guard.
我
I...
知道你们在想什么
know what you're thinking and...
欢迎你们俩入住
you're both welcome.
我 我喜欢这个地方
I just, I-I love the place.
-我 -谢谢您 先生
- I... - Aw, thank you, sir.
当然 你们入住期间
Yeah. And, of course, when you visit,
我们会一直小心谨慎
there will be full discretion at all times
以保护您的隐私 米勒先生
to protect your privacy, Mr. Miller.
我知道你是谁
I know who you are.
我前夫利昂很喜欢你
My ex-husband Leon is quite the fan.
有好多个晚上他都会在床第之间
Spent many a night between the sheets
看着你走过我们的街道
watching you walk our streets.
真高兴我能参与其中
So glad to be part of that.
如果我妈妈感兴趣的话
Um, now if my mom is interested,
最快能什么时候办好
how quickly can this happen?
我是说 我可以现在就出去
'Cause I mean, I-I can just leave here.
如果你们有礼品商店 我这就去给她买♥♥只牙刷
And if you've got a gift shop, I'll just buy her a tooth brush
她就可以入住了
and she's good to go!
不幸的是 你前面还有九个人
Unfortunately there are nine people in front of you.
以现在的医学水平 你们可能要等很久
With modern medicine, the wait could be pretty long.
现在只剩八个了
Oop! Make that eight people.
我开玩笑的啦 那是午餐铃
I'm kidding! That's the lunch bell!
谁饿了
Who's hungry, huh?
谁想看看弗吉尼亚州
Who wants to see the second longest
第二长的果冻条什么样
Jell-O bar in Virginia?
我敢打包票如果你刚刚卖♥♥弄个风情
I bet the head of admissions would've bumped me up
招人办的头头肯定会让我插个队
on the list if you'd just flirted a little.
她可爱吗
Ooh! Was she cute?
他很可爱 还对内森抛媚眼呢
He was cute and he winked at Nathan.
那只是因为我在我们这儿是名人而已
He was just impressed that I'm a local celebrity.
如果内森也抛个媚眼回去的话
And if Nathan had just winked back,
我敢说我已经住进去了
I bet I'd be in.
为了帮你 我都不知道和
I helped you out plenty of times,
多少我不感兴趣的人调情了
flirting with people I wasn't into.
什么 什么时候的事
What? When?
太空营可不是想去就能去的
Not everyone who applies to Space Camp gets in.
我想我知道你为什么不和那个男人调情
I think I know why you didn't flirt with this guy.
你不会想说那是因为我小时候做的那个
Are you gonna say it's because of that dream I had
关于我和正义先锋小子的梦吧
about me and the Dukes of Hazzard boys?
我跟你说过了 那主要是关于车的
I told you it's mo... mostly about the car.
我觉得 在你内心深处
I think deep, deep down
你并不希望你妈妈搬出去
you don't want your mother to move out.
看看她做的
Look what she made.
看看这个
Look at this.
看看这些精美的芝士 咸饼干
Fancy cheeses, crackers,
还有这切得厚薄均匀的腊肠
evenly sliced salami.
兄弟 你是迷上这些吃的了
Brother, you are hooked on snacks.
是的 我确实很享受
Yes, I-I do enjoy
在辛勤工作一天后吃一份精心准备的奶酪盘
a well-orchestrated cheese plate after a hard day's work.
但我并不需要它
But I don't need it.
相信我 我希望她搬出去
Trust me, I want her out.
证明给我看啊
Well, prove it.
去把你妈妈给你的东西都丢掉
Go shake what your mother gave you
这样你就可以丢掉你妈妈了
so you can shake your mother.
你是说和一个男人调情吗
Flirt with a guy?
是啊 这可是2014年 害羞什么
Yeah, it's 2014! There's no shame in it.
我和男人调情都是家常便饭
I flirt with guys all the time.
我坐飞机好几年没付过姜汁汽水的钱了
I haven't paid for a ginger ale on a flight in years!
那个本来就不要钱
Yeah, those are free.
难道我一直白搔弄别人的膝盖了吗
Then I've been tickling kneecaps for nothing?
别来无恙 基普
Hey, Kip.
我就是顺便过来交一下我妈妈的申请费
I just came by to drop off my mom's applicash.
抱歉可能有点汗湿了
Sorry if it's a little sweaty.
我健身休息的时候填的
I filled it out between reps at the gym.
我从没注意过你眼睫毛这么长
I never noticed how long your eyelashes are.
难道说 你妈妈是贝蒂娃娃
Was your mom Betty Boop
而你♥爸♥爸...
and your dad...
也是贝蒂娃娃吗
also Betty Boop?
首先 你比那些喜欢玩梦幻足球的
First of all, you're as straight as an arrow
直男还有直
dipped in fantasy football.
我是说 你真可悲
I mean, you're pathetic.
你让我想起了我做乘务员那会儿
You remind me of my flight attendant days
有人为了免费喝姜汁汽水总搔弄我的膝盖
when some guy tickled my kneecaps for a free ginger ale.
听我说 我 我
Look, I'm-I'm...
我很抱歉 我只是
I'm sorry. I just...
我只是想帮我妈妈
I was just trying to help out my mom.
不 我理解
No, I-I-I understand.
你是在尽儿子的责任 但是
That's very nice, but...
你糊弄错人了 我可不是那种基佬
you're barking up the wrong gay with this guy.
暗恋你的
My ex-husband Leon
是我前夫利昂 而不是我
is the one who had the crush on you, not me.
我呢 我喜欢安德森·库珀那型的
I'm a, I'm an Anderson Cooper man myself.
你对我来说蠢了点
You're a little dumb for me.
什么 我才不蠢呢
What? Uh, I'm not dumb.
我不蠢
I'm not!
就是这样
That's the spirit.
天呐
God.
如果利昂看到我和你说话
If Leon could see me talking to you,
他肯定会气疯的[买♥♥只羊]
it would really get his goat.
其实他没有羊
He doesn't actually have a goat.
-我知道那是什么意思 -好的
- Yeah, I know that. - Okay.
这是个习语
It's an idiom.
-我知道 我不蠢 -好的
- Yeah, I'm not stupid. - Yeah.
如果能看到利昂看到你和我调情时的表情
I'd do anything to see the look on Leon's face
我什么都愿意做
if he saw you flirting with me.
只要能让我妈住进来 我也什么都愿意做
And I'd give anything to get my mom into this place.
怎么样了
How'd it go?
很好 我们在约会了
Great, we're dating.
你这是开玩笑吗
Are you being facetious?
如果你是认真的 我就要输你♥爸♥20块钱了
'Cause if you're serious, I owe your father 20 bucks.
家里不错啊 内森
Cute place, Nathan.
爱死你客厅里的跑步机了
Love the treadmill in the living room.
我先跟你说清楚 我们就约会这一次
Okay, so just to be clear, uh, this is a one-time thing.
我可没准备好
I-I'm not ready to commit
跟你保持一种长久的假想恋爱关系
to a long-term imaginary relationship.
一次就行
Once is all I need.
利昂几小时后会来送帕格斯利
Leon will come here in a few hours and drop off Pugsley,
那是条我们拥有共同监护权的哈巴狗
the pug we share custody of.
我会让他看到我不仅走出情伤另觅新欢了
He will see that not only have I rebounded,
而且我的新欢还是他暗恋已久的新闻记者
but I've done so with his newsboy crush.
他会求我回去
He'll beg me to come back,
我则断然拒绝
I'll say "Hell no,"
然后我和凯洛就可以直接开玩马克·波罗游戏了
and then Carol and I skip all the way to the Marco Polo pool.
马克 波罗 抓到你了
Marco! Polo! Gotcha!
但首先 我们得让你看起来像我男朋友
But first, let's focus on making you believable as my boyfriend.
这个你不用担心 我们家内森最擅长装模作样了
Oh, don't worry-- my Nathan is excellent at pretending.
如果你真对他有了感觉 就尽管上吧
And if you actually feel something real, just go with it.
他会是个称职的女婿
He'd make a nice son-in-law,
你知道我有多喜欢赶时髦
and you know I love a parade.
你需要了解我的一切
Okay, you need to know everything about me.