米勒一家（2013）

没人要和你说话
Nobody is talking to you.
这是写给谁的
Who should I make it out to?
布拉斯特夫人
Mrs. Blast.
来自过去的布拉斯特
Blast from the past.
米勒太太
Mrs. Miller!
你还记得我儿子吗
You remember my son?
不如给和你一起坐公交的小伙伴签个名吧
How about an autograph for your old bus buddy?
当然了 写给谁的
Yeah, sure. Who should I make it out to?
暗箭伤人的内森·米勒吗
Nathan Miller the Backstabber?
忘恩负义的内森·米勒吗
Nathan Miller the Ingrate?
还是说你比较喜欢魔鬼内森·米勒这个叫法
Or would you prefer Nathan Miller the Devil?
但那就有些赘余了
But that would just be redundant.
我和他们不是一伙的
I'm not with them.
小基
Kippie!
保安
Security!
让这个暗箭伤人的家伙从我视线里消失
Remove this backstabber from my sight.
等等 等等
Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, hold on.
你至少得告诉我我做了什么吧
At least just tell me what I did.
是因为我打趣你
Is this because I made fun of you
坐在公交司机腿上吗
for sitting on the bus driver's lap?
因为我得辩解一下
Because in-in my defense...
你确实是坐在公交司机腿上啊
You were sitting on the bus driver's lap.
好吧 内森
Fine, Nathan.
你真的想知道吗
You really want to know?
那是很多年前发生在利斯堡王国的一件事了
It happened many years ago, in the kingdom of Leesburg.
利斯堡中学
在中学的土地上 你就是王
In the land of middle school, you were king.
25年前
受欢迎人群的统治者
The ruler of the popular crowd.
可以说是出身名门
Highborn, as it were.
我是个弃儿 被我超凡的智力和我妈妈
I was an outcast, cursed by my extreme intellect
逼我穿上的令人发痒的上衣诅咒
and the itchy blazer my mom made me wear.
尽管我俩如此不同 我们的轨迹却即将交叉
As different as we both were, our paths were soon to cross.
凛冬将至 随即而来的是期中考试
Winter was coming, and with it midterms.
你智力层面装备不良
You were intellectually ill-equipped
送信来请求支援
and sent word for reinforcements.
数学
求救
拜托了
我们暗中结盟
We forged a sacred alliance.
我会帮你展开与代数的史诗性大对决
I would help you in your epic battle against algebra.
而从那以后 你会在公共场合和我一起露面
And from then on, you would be seen in public with me.
酷王之王和酷王之王的首相
The king of cool and the hand of the king of cool.
花了将近两星期
It took almost a fortnight,
但最终我成功教会你了如何
but eventually I taught you the formulas
杀死代数怪的公式
to slay the algebraic beast.
我们在一片荒芜之上同饮
We toasted our victory with orange libations
由你城♥堡♥里一位女仆送来的橘酒
from the land of crush,
共同举杯 欢庆胜利
brought to us by one of your castle wenches.
你发誓 米勒家的人一定会有恩报恩
And you swore that a Miller always pays his debts.
没过多久 我们新建立的同盟关系
It wasn't long before our newfound alliance
就受到了考验
was put to the test.
你的海军少校们在足球游戏后公然侮辱我
Your bannermen were dishonoring me after kickball.
但那时我的新盟友破开黑暗而来
But then my new ally emerged through the darkness.
然而 米勒家的人竟然是以背叛报恩的
But it turned out that a Miller pays back his debts in betrayal.
在你背叛行为的最后
And then in a final act of treachery,
你拔出了你至高无上的大刀
you unsheathed your mighty broadsword
然后砍下了我的头颅
and chopped off my head!
是吗 我一点也没有印象
Yeah, I don't remember any of that.
很显然 我并没有砍下你的头颅
And, clearly, I did not cut off your head.
谢天谢地 因为 你看起来很棒
And thank God 'cause, man, you look good!
也许你确实没砍下我的头颅
Well, maybe you didn't cut off my head,
但你在背后狠狠的捅了我一刀 兄弟
but you stabbed me in the back, man!
这不是更残忍♥吗
Isn't that even crueler?
那是很久之前的事了
That was a long time ago.
我儿子需要采访你 而这是你欠我的
My son needs this interview, and you owe me.
你还记得那时我是怎么让所有孩子相信
Remember when I convinced all of the kids
在新西兰鼻屎是一道美味佳肴的吗
that boogers were a delicacy in New Zealand?
好吧
All right.
行
Fine.
我会让你采访我的 看在你母亲的面子上
I'll let you interview me... for your mother.
你可以主持我明天的问答座谈会
You can moderate my Q&A panel tomorrow
就把它拍下来做新闻吧
and film it for the news.
你读了我的新书 对吧
You have read my new book, right?
那当然了
Are you kidding?
其他的书读了多少遍 新书就读了多少遍
As many times as I've read the other ones.
不如关于书的话题都明天再谈吧
Why don't we save all the book talk for tomorrow,
因为我很想听你谈谈你的新生活
because I'd love to hear about your new life.
不如我带你出去吃午餐吧
How about I take you out to lunch?
可以 我们坐我的公交车
Sure, we can take my bus.
你可以见见我的公交车司机
You'll meet my bus driver.
他的大腿最舒服了
He has the most comfortable lap.
看看这些
Man, look at this thing.
怎么可能一晚上就读完
Never be able to read this in one night.
我会帮你的
I'll help you.
看看我刚拿到的自♥拍♥
Hey, check out this selfie I just got.
我和这里唯二的那个黑哥们儿一起拍的
Me and the only other black dude here.
我刚看完最新的三部曲
Well, I just finished watching the new trilogy.
现在我知道为什么杰夫最小的孩子叫
Now I know why Jeff named his youngest
加·加·宾克斯了
Jar Jar Binks.
那个孩子和加·加·宾克斯长得一模一样
That kid looks exactly like Jar Jar Binks.
真是个可怜的姑娘
That poor girl.
-杰夫 -我收到你的信息了 月亮土豆
- Jeff! - ?I got your message, Moon Potato.
滚出去 杰夫
Get out of here, Jeff.
谁也不准再叫我月亮土豆
And nobody calls me Moon Potato anymore.
这里是不是还有人叫月亮土豆
Was there another Moon Potato...
和我共事的人没有叫月亮土豆的
There was not another Moon Potato at work!
所以波多摩尔才这么迫切想要占领
And so that's why Baldomore is so eager to capture
他岳父的城♥堡♥ 因为他知道
his father-in-law's castle, because he knows
一旦他的情妇生下了蓝龙
that once his mistress gives birth to the blue dragon,
他就又会占了第九任女王的上风
he will once again have the upper hand over the ninth queen.
-真有趣 -怎么了
- That's so funny. - ?What?
你太投入了
It's just that you're so into it,
好像这是真的一样 但是
like it's real, and it's just...
我是说...不就是龙宝宝...
Well, it's... It's dragon babies, I mean...
人家刚出生的龙宝宝吹口气就能融化掉
Even the breath of a newborn dragon can melt
用克斯利沙里恩钻石打造的一整条船好吗
an entire ship made of Chrisharian diamonds.
抱歉 我知道你不...
Sorry. I-I knew you wouldn't...
我知道你不懂 我知道
I knew you wouldn't get it! No, no!
有些人就是不懂科幻
Certain people just don't understand fantasy.
什么 理智的人吗
What? Rational people?
生来就受欢迎而且没有胎记的
Spoiled people who grew up popular
被宠坏的人
and birthmark-free.
你这种人永远都不会知道被放逐的感觉
Who never knew what it was like to be an outcast.
因为你这种人不需要幻象
People like you don't need fantasy
你的现实世界太完美了
because your reality was so perfect.
你知道吗 我的现实根本一点都不完美
Oh, you know what? My reality was far from perfect.
你知道我为了让父母不为我妹妹感到骄傲
Do you know how guilty I feel for making it impossible
我负罪感多重吗
for my parents to be proud of my sister?
你根本不懂被排斥的感觉
You have no idea what it means to be ostracized,
理论上实际上都不知道
literally and figuratively.
还有 这两个词
Oh, there's two more words
你可能都不知道是什么意思吧
you probably don't know the meaning of!
不好意思啊 你原来属于被排斥的人啊
Oh, oh! I'm sorry! You were such an outcast.
不是你告诉我高中时既是足球队队长
You told me that in high school you were the captain
又是啦啦队队长吗
of the football team and a cheerleader!
那是趣味足球
It was powder puff football!
参加的都是自己的啦啦队队长
We were all our own cheerleaders!
我算服了 醉了 醉了 醉了
You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what?
醉了 醉了 醉了
You know what? You know what? You know what?
你这种人永远都不会懂我这样的人的
People like you are never gonna get people like me.
我是不会帮你假装成是我们的一员的
I am not helping you pretend that you're one of us!
好啊 真是醉了 我自己想办法