米勒一家（2013）

但你不能继续这么支持他这些不着调的想法了
But you can't keep encouraging his bad ideas.
你怎么知道这个想法是不着调的呢
Hey, how do you know what's a bad idea?
因为你们做的食物很难吃
Because the food is awful!
只有在你们餐馆 我才能看见
Your restaurant is the only place I've ever seen
浣熊把垃圾桶盖子盖上这种奇观
raccoons putting a lid on a trash can.
天呐 你说得对
Oh, my God. You're right.
亚当在说起他这些想法的时候太激动了
Oh, Adam just gets so excited when he talks
我就被他洗♥脑♥了
about this stuff and then I get swept up, too.
我也不知道为什么
I don't know why.
因为爱情 你变得盲目
You're blinded by love.
结婚早期
Early in our marriage,
我也听从了汤姆一些不着调的想法
I let Tom talk me into some stupid ideas.
比如那段婚姻本身
Like marriage itself.
你不能跟着亚当一条歧路走到黑
You can't keep following Adam down these terrible paths.
让我帮你 让我帮你找份真正的工作吧
Let me, let me help you find a real job.
我也不知道 那亚当怎么办呢
I don't know. I mean, what would Adam do?
我们总是成双成对的呀
We've always been partners.
也许当他看到你放弃了这些主意的时候
Well, maybe when he sees you've given up on the idea,
他也会意识到这些主意不好
he'll realize it's awful, too.
别这样 这也不是世上最差吧
Oh, come on, it wasn't the worst idea in the world.
不管你怎么说 我们的食物没有那么糟
And no matter what you say, our food wasn't that bad.
黛比 你还记得我们餐厅丢出去的
Hey, Deb. Uh, you know all that old food
那些陈旧的食物吗
from the restaurant we tossed out back?
我觉得浣熊可能动过它们
I think the raccoons might've gotten to it,
因为我发现它们被整整齐齐摆放在门阶上
because I just found it all in a neat pile on the doorstep.
柯腊达酒吧在招募歌♥手
Oh, wow, they're hiring singers down at the Colada!
有段时间我尝试过在酒吧唱歌♥
I tried lounge singing for a while.
但这嗓音是为了大舞台而生的
But this voice really belongs in an arena.
这个很适合黛比
Oh, here's a good one for Debbie.
你觉得她会对这个感兴趣吗
You think she'd be interested in
带你见识船厂安保的奇妙世界
"the exciting world of boatyard security"?
不要靠近海岸的工作
Nothing near the coast.
她脊柱侧凸 盐水会腐蚀她的脊柱
She had scoliosis, and the saltwater could rust her spine.
那这个呢
Oh, what about this?
汽车出租处招副经理
"Assistant Manager needed for car rental location.
有升职可能
Possibility for advancement."
她可以从这里的汽车出租一直做到
She could go from car rentals here
市中心的汽车出租去
to car rentals downtown...
还可以扩展到河对岸的汽车出租
to car rentals across the river...
天呐 她可能最后会在机场工作
My God, she could end up working at the airport!
你好 内森
Oh, hi, Nathan.
基普和我借了你的报纸看看
Kip and I were just borrowing your paper.
我们似乎刚找了份工作给...
We might've just found a job for...
随你找的是好还是不好吧
That's great or terrible or whatever.
听着
Hey, listen, um,
我是不是只关心我自己
am I only interested in myself?
我有点担心我会变成一个自恋狂
I'm worried that I'm becoming a narcissist.
怎么可能
Well, that's ridiculous!
像你这么聪明又帅气的男子
How could a boy as smart and handsome as you,
腿上腿毛的数量都完美得让人惊叹
with the perfect amount of leg hair for a man
怎么可能变成一个自恋狂
ever become a narcissist?
是的 我也想知道
Yeah, I wonder.
我最好去跟黛比说说这份工作的事
I'd better go tell Debbie about this job.
希望他们不用做药物检测
Oh, I hope they don't drug test.
我在怀她的时候吃了很多罂粟籽面包
I ate a lot of poppy seed bagels when I was pregnant with her,
我不知道那些玩意儿会在我身体里停留多久
and I don't know how long that stuff stays in your system.
而且 我觉得她在抽大♥麻♥
Plus, I think she smokes weed.
基普...
Hey, Kip. Uh...
我 我妈妈往那边走了
My-my mom went that way, so...
如果你真的想解决这个问题
You know, if you really want to address this problem,
我可以帮你
I can help you.
谢谢 但我不是自恋狂
Well, thanks. I'm not a narcissist.
他说着 从画着他脸的杯子中喝了一口水
He said, about to take a sip from his own face.
这不 这不是我做的
I didn't, I, I didn't make this.
这是雷送我的礼物
It was a gift from Ray.
好吧 不如我们看看
Okay. Well, hey, why don't we take a spin
你最近的网上搜索记录如何
through your recent Google searches, okay?
不 我不觉得这...
No, I don't think it would...
内森·米勒裸上身
Wow! "Nathan Miller shirtless.
内森·米勒 健身馆
"Nathan Miller gym.
内森·米勒腹肌...
Nathan Miller abs..."
好吧 但你知道吗
Okay, yeah, but, you know what?
那是因为我听说有一张我在健身馆
That's because I'd heard that there was a picture
换衣服的照片在四处流传
going around of me changing at the gym.
你该如何让名人裸上身的照片传播开来
"How do you make a shirtless photo of a celebrity go viral?"
好了 停停停
Okay, you know what? Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
好吧 好 可能我是有一点自恋
Okay, fine. Yes, maybe there is a little bit of narcissism.
但我不需要帮忙 我可以随时停止自恋状态
But I don't need help. I can stop whenever I want.
看吧
See? Look.
停止了
Stopped.
你没法停止成为一个自恋狂
You can't just stop being a narcissist.
这是没有用的
It doesn't work that way.
天呐 你在盯着你在我勺子上的影像瞧
Oh, my God, you're gazing at your reflection in my spoon.
你现在...
Okay, now you're just being...
真是完全...
complete...
我需要帮忙
I need help.
天呐 我在颤抖
Oh, my God, I'm shaking.
我都不知道我紧张是因为要去面试
I don't know if I'm nervous about this job interview
还是因为我穿着贝斯姨妈死时
or if I'm just uncomfortable wearing
穿的西装 感觉不太舒服
the same suit Aunt Beth died in.
面试最简单了 你这样做就好
Interviews are a breeze. Here's what you do:
打开电脑 找到一个叫搜索引擎的东西
Get on your computer and go to something called Bing.
然后输入雅虎网
Then type in "Yahoo.com".
然后你在那里输入谷歌♥
From there type in "Google".
点击一下 然后在方框内输入面试官的名字
Click on that, then type the interviewer's name in the box,
仔细了解关于他的一切
and learn everything you can about him.
那样你就可以假装你们兴趣相投了
That way you can pretend you have the same interests.
干得太好了 亲爱的
Wow, that was some great work, sweetie.
看来凯特琳恐高
Uh, it looks like Kaitlyn is afraid of heights,
害怕蜘蛛和伊朗核弹
spiders and a nuclear Iran.
好吧 现在我得告诫你
Okay, now I have to warn you
下一个阶段会很疯狂的 好吗
this next phase is not gonna be easy, okay?
你得增进她对你的信任
You have to build up her trust.
假装你是她的朋友
And then pretend to be her friend.
了解 典型的间谍行为
Got it. The classic double-cross.
就像明年会发生在卡戴珊姐妹身上的事一样
Just like they're gonna do next year on the Kardashians
她们最终会告诉老大 她不是她们的亲姐妹
when they finally tell that big one she's not their real sister.
亚当 我们得谈谈
Adam, we need to talk.
好的 听着
Okay, look...
我喜欢和你做生意伙伴 知道吗
I love being partners with you, okay?
但迄今为止 我们的生意都失败了
But, so far, all of our businesses have failed,
我们得支付米卡拉的花销
and we need to provide for Mikayla,
所以 我妈妈和我谈了谈
so, my mom had a talk with me--
是她告诉我...
well, at me--
然后
And...
我决定要尝试去在汽车出租处
I've decided to try and get a full-time job
做一份全职工作
at a car rental place.
等等 什么 我 我没...
Wait, what? I-I didn't...
你说都没和我说就自己做了整个决定
You made this decision without consulting with me.
我们不是伙伴吗
I thought we were partners.
我知道 我很抱歉
No, I know. I'm sorry.
但我觉得这样对我们家是最好的
But I think this is the best thing for our family.
好吧
Fine.
好吧 那就这样吧
Fine, I guess that's just the way it is.
对了 虽然你不关心
Oh, and not that you care,
但我们的餐车通过了乙肝测试
but our food truck passed its hepatitis test.
要克服你的自恋倾向
To overcome your narcissism,
你需要看着这面镜子
you need to look in this mirror,
看清♥真♥正的自己 知道吗
and see who you really are, okay?
-这不是... -这不是...
- Look, that's not a... - That's not a...