急救警情（2014）

Sirens S02E06

Part 1 Jan. 24, 2021, 1:46 p.m.

Brian, I know that you like getting positive feedback,
Brian 我知道你喜欢别人夸你
and you know that I hate giving it,
但你也知道我讨厌夸人
so this is gonna be a one-time thing.
所以我就夸这么一次你以后别指望了
You have really been stepping up your game lately.
最近你进步很大
It doesn't matter. We're all gonna die.
没关系反正我们最终都难逃一死
You okay, bud? Nope, not at all.
你没事吧哥们不有事
Voodoo started seeing someone else.
Voodoo跟别人在一起了
Really?
真的
Some dude named Doug.
一个叫Doug的男的
She met him on one of those asexual message boards.
她在某个无性恋留言版上认识的
Asexual message boards? That shit exists?
无性恋留言版还真有那玩意
I mean, I knew logically that we weren't gonna last,
我知道理论上来说我俩在一起不会长久
but it just... it still hurts.
但就是还是很痛苦
That Voodoo put a spell on me.
Voodoo(巫毒)给我下了个咒语
Who could have seen that coming?
这谁能料的到
Oh, left field, all the way. Ohh.
一直都在意料之中好吧
Now I got to change her ringtone.
现在我必须把她的铃♥声♥换了
Dude, you're not dividing assets in a divorce.
哥们你又不是离婚了分割财产什么的
You can keep the ringtone.
你可以留着那铃♥声♥啊
If you think about it, nothing's really changed.
你想啊其实什么也没变
You're still friends. You're still not having sex.
你们还是朋友还是没有性生活
Yeah, but I'm not the person she's not having sex with.
是倒是但我不是那个跟她没有性生活的人了
She's out there not having sex with someone else.
她现在跟别人没有性生活
Not not me, not him.
不是跟我没有是跟他没有
Brian, you've really got it pretty good here.
Brian 其实你情况算好的了
Yes.
是
I mean, the hardest part about a breakup
我说分手最痛苦的地方
is imagining your ex getting it on with someone else.
就在于想象你的前任跟别人搞在一起
Yes, it's pretty much the only thing you're thinking about.
是啊差不多是你能想到的唯一一件事了
Yeah, but you don't have to worry about that
是但你不用担心啊
because you already know the answer.
因为你已经知道答案了
Come on. Yeah. She's having sex with no one.
拜托她跟谁也不搞
Nobody!
没有人
Ever. Ever.
永远永远
Everything's different now.
现在什么都不同了
I called her last night to see if she wanted to see a movie.
昨天晚上我给她打电♥话♥问她想不想看电影
She had already seen it with Doug.
她却已经跟Doug看完了
She knows that Nic Cage dramas are our thing.
她明知道尼古拉斯凯奇的片是我们的专属
You're right.
你说得对
That is way worse than imagining
那比想象你的人生挚爱
the love of your life sweatily entangled with another man
在性♥爱♥蜡烛的烛光下激烈的跟其他男人纠缠
making wet spots on silk sheets illuminated by sex candles.
在丝质床单上留下汗斑要惨的多
Sex candles? Yeah, sex candles.
性♥爱♥蜡烛对性♥爱♥蜡烛
Is that a... is that a thing?
还有这种东西
Should I be buying sex candles now?
我该去买♥♥一个吗
Look at me. Look at me.
看我看我
Yes.
是
Ambulance needed, 274 Northwood,
需要救护车诺斯伍德街274号♥
reported heart attack.
心脏病发作
Ambulance 14 responding.
14号♥救护车收到
Okay, guys,
兄弟们
which would bother you more,
你们觉得以下哪个更让你心烦呢
if you walked in on your significant other
一个是撞见你的另一半和别人做♥爱♥
having sex with someone else or saw them walking on the beach,
另一个是看见他们一起漫步在沙滩上
holding hands,
手挽着手
clearly and deeply in love?
明显深坠爱河之中
Is that a real question? Sex.
这能称得上是真的问题吗做♥爱♥那个啊
Always sex.
永远是做♥爱♥那个啊
Well, guys, I'm on that beach right now,
哥们们我现在就在那个沙滩上
and let me tell you, it hurts.
我跟你们说真的很难受
It hurts bad.
非常难受
Where's the patient, sir?
先生病人在哪
Um... Ambulance is the winner!
呃救护车赢了
Whoo! Yeah!
喔噢耶
Congrats, guys.
恭喜啊哥们
What the hell's going on?
这特么什么情况
Sir?
先生
Oh, everything's cool, chief.
哦长官一切安好
There's no patient. Why'd you call us?
没有病人那你们为什么求救
We had a bet to see who would get here first,
我们打赌谁会先到这儿
an ambulance or the pizza guy.
是救护车还是送披萨的
You won. Yes.
你们赢了对
You called in a fake emergency as part of a bet?
所以你们为了打赌谎称有紧急情况
A fake medical emergency, yes.
医疗紧急情况是假的没错
Fake pizza emergency, no, 'cause we are hungry as shit.
但是披萨紧急情况可不假因为我们都快饿成屎了
Congrats, by the way, last week the Indian place
恭喜啦顺便说一句上周那个送印度菜的
beat the fire department, so...
赢了消防车所以
Killer curry too. Yeah.
咖喱也超赞的耶
You clowns think calling an ambulance is a joke?
你们这帮小丑认为呼叫救护车很好玩吗
No. No, no, of course not, um...
不不不当然不呃
Officers, or...
警官还是
We mean no harm.
我们没有恶意
What we do can mean the difference
我们所做的
between life and death.
是关乎生死的大事儿
Shit like this not only wastes our time,
这种破事儿不仅仅浪费我们的时间
but it puts other people's lives at risk.
还让其他人的生命命悬一线
It also happens to be extremely illegal.
而且还是严重违法的行为
Does anyone not have an attorney in the family?
这里有人家里没有律师的吗
No disrespect, chief.
没有不尊重你们的意思长官
What's that?
这是什么
5 hundo for the trouble.
给你们500美元抱歉惹了麻烦
We don't want this shit.
我们不要这破玩意
Yes, we do. Yeah, we do.
要我们要对我们需要
Get yourself a flat screen for the common room.
给你们在公共休息室买♥♥个平板电视
I insist. Yeah.
我坚持要给对
You know what?
瞧好了
No, don't take it out on the money, John.
别别把气撒在钱上啊 John
The money never hurt anyone.
钱是无辜的
Especially if it's properly invested.
尤其是当它用在合适的地方的时候
I'm gonna properly invest my foot in your ass.
我把我的脚用进你的菊花也正合适
Whoa, super aggressive.
好凶
Ambulance 14, reported stroke, 3436 North Sheridan.
14号♥救护车中风呼救北谢里登大街3436号♥
Let it go, John. Ambulance 14 responding.
算了吧 John 14号♥救护车收到
You hear that?
听到没
Life and death. Let it go.
性命攸关的大事算了吧
Life and death, people.
性命攸关你们这些家伙
Have every single one of those pricks arrested.
那帮蠢货全逮捕起来
This money is evidence.
这些钱就是证据
Yeah, evidence we can now get a new flat-screen TV.
对啊也是我们可以买♥♥台新平板电视的证据
Pizza. Yeah! Whoo!
披萨耶喔噢
It's okay, they're good tippers.
没事他们给小费给的很大方
Come on, let's go. All right.
拜托算了吧好的
Rich people suck.
有钱人都是王八蛋
Like my damn landlord,
就像我那倒霉房♥东一样
just 26 years old, owns the building,
才26岁就拥有整个大楼
inherited it from grandfather.
是从他祖父那继承过来的
He only lives there because he thinks
他之所以住在那是因为他认为
the neighborhood's gonna hit.
那周围将来会火起来
He wants to brag that he lived there
他想吹牛说他在那住的时候
when poor people still did.
那地方住的还是穷♥人♥
Sit around all day not doing anything,
他就整天在那坐着什么也不做
trying to rename the neighborhood "Nonowewe."
给小区起外号♥ 北北西西
What?
什么
North of North, west of Western.
北部以北西部以西
Dude's an idiot.
那哥们是个傻♥逼♥
He's one of these morons who's always on a new cleanse,
他就是那种反复清肠的家伙
who decides he's only gonna listen to jazz
只听巴黎黑人录的
on vinyl recorded by black guys in Paris.
黑胶爵士唱片
I mean, you've seen the guy.
我是说你见过他
Tell me he doesn't have one of those faces
告诉我他没长那种