江湖郎中（2017）

还很无礼
and rude.
但 我深爱着她
But...I love her deeply.
-你爱她 -当然了
- You love her? - Of course I do.
那你去找的那些妓♥女♥呢
What about all those prostitutes you visit?
我不爱她们
I don't.
我每次去 都没跟她们做什么
When I do, I don't do anything with them.
除了玩玩她们的奶♥子♥
Besides playing with their boobies.
事实上
The truth is that
我不太擅长
I'm not very...good at...
那件事
..That.
那些事
At those...things.
我觉得她有外遇
I think she's having an affair.
不可能 不会的 你知道跟谁吗
Surely not! No. Do you know who with?
我是说如果她真的有 但她肯定没有
I mean, if she is, which I'm sure she's not.
有人给了她一盒奶油糖
Someone gave her a box of cream buttons.
她总是未加解释就坐马车出去
She's always going off for carriage rides without explanation.
男人看得出来
A man can tell.
我必须赢回她的芳心
I have to win her back.
你懂女人在想什么 对吧
You understand the female mind, don't you?
-她在想什么 -懂一点
- HER mind? - A little.
我该买♥♥花吗
Do I buy flowers?
还是饼干
Or biscuits?
我该
Do I...?
我该怎么做
What do I do?
你真的想把她赢回来
You really wish to win her back?
不是为了面子
Not for pride,
也不是为了避免社交尴尬
or to avoid social embarrassment,
而是因为你爱她
but because you love her?
你爱她吗 罗伯特
Do you love her, Robert?
因为她一定觉得你不爱
Because it must seem to her that you don't.
我真心爱她
I do, sincerely.
我只是忘了如何表达
I've just forgotten how to express it.
那你必须让她想起当初为何爱上你
Then you must remind her why it is she fell in love with you.
因为我很出色吧
Cos I'm brilliant, I suppose.
还很英俊 她非常幸运
And good-looking. She's very lucky.
是的
Yes, she is.
但她也是一位非常迷人的女性
But she is also an amazing woman,
你不觉得吗
do you not think?
她就是你梦想中的完美女子
She's everything you could want a woman to be.
-她很温柔 不是吗 -对我不是
- She's kind, isn't she? - Not to me, she's not.
她有远大的抱负和梦想
She has wonderful ambitions and dreams.
-都是些疯狂的想法 -不是的
- They're mad. - They're not.
我每天面对疯狂 那些是热情
I deal with madness, they are passions.
其中一些想法确实不寻常
Some of them, yes, unusual,
但 你不能总是否定她
but...you need to confront her less.
倾听她说话
Listen to her.
我就知道你在行 让我记下来
I knew you'd be good at this. Let me get a pen.
再说些关于女人的智慧妙语
Say more clever things about women.
你应该让她觉得
You should make her feel like
她是你在世界上唯一在乎的人
she's the only person in the world you care about,
或唯一想交谈的人
or want to talk to.
可是 只要仔细想想
Even though, if you think about it for a moment,
就知道这绝对不是真的
that's clearly not true.
你应该带着爱意触碰她
You should touch her with affection.
不是带着欲望的碰触 而是带着怜爱与支持
Not a needing, male touch, but a loving, supportive touch.
珍爱她的脚踝
Cherish her ankles.
你可以吻遍她每一寸肌肤
You could kiss every part of her.
你必须让她相信有魔法
You need to make her believe in magic.
带她看星星
Show her the stars.
当心怀爱意时 看洋葱都是美的 不是吗
When you're in love, there is beauty in an onion, is there not?
星星 亲吻 洋葱
Stars... Kissing... Onion!
就像和拜伦一起喝茶
It's like having tea with Byron.
之前你还说了哪一条
Oh, what was the one you said before that?
倾听她说话
Listen to her.
很好
Good!
我会尝试一下
I'll give some of that an attempt.
我决心赢回她 要是成功了都归功于你
I'm determined to make this work. Credit to you if I pull it off.
现在 你想和我一起
Now...do you want to come with me
到医院看帕特里斯·杜邦做手术吗
to a Patrice Dupont operation at the hospital?
我请客
My treat.
我得去探探敌情
I need to check out the competition.
顺便抹黑他
And start a smear campaign.
这是我的门票
Here's my ticket.
让让 麻烦让让
Move along. Move along, please.
瞧这人多的
Look at this crowd.
人们都是白♥痴♥ 不是吗 我的馅饼在你那吗
People are idiots, aren't they? Have you got my pie?
你看过这个人施行手术吗
Have you seen this chap operate before?
有 上周看过
Oh, yes, I saw him last week.
但我很期待今天的手术
But I'm excited about today's operation.
这是首例
It's a real first.
并不是 而且也很容易操作
It's not. And it's fairly easy to do, in fact.
你听说了杜邦先生是怎么评价女王的吗
Have you heard what Mr Dupont's been saying about the Queen?
-没有 -说她罪恶深重 应该被砍头
- No. - That she's a reprobate and should have her head cut off.
就是啊 真可恶
I know, it's appalling, isn't it?
他没资格待在这个国家 告诉其他人
He shouldn't be in the country. Pass it on.
而且当我听说了他那些性癖
And when I heard about his sexual proclivities,
我差点吐了
I was nearly ill.
恶心坏了
Physically ill.
-是什么癖好 -我还是不说为好
- Oh, what are they? - I'd rather not say.
好吧 反正我也不想知道
Very well, I don't want to know.
-我也不想告诉你 -那就别说
- I don't want to tell you. - Please don't.
他喜欢让天主教唱诗班的男孩们吸他的蛋
He likes having his balls sucked by Catholic choir boys,
告诉其他人
pass it on.
女士们先生们 大家好
Bonjour, messieurs et mesdames.
彼得斯
Peters?!
今天 你们十分幸运得以见证奇迹
Today, you lucky few will be witnesses to a miracle
因为有位天才在此
for there is a genius at work in this building.
真是令人无法忍♥受 别废话了
This is unendurable. Get on with it!
女士们 先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,
让我们请出非凡 杰出的
I give you the mighty, the magnificent,
手术刀大♥师♥
the baron of the blade,
帕特里斯·杜邦先生
Monsieur Patrice Dupont.
天啊 他确实风度翩翩
Gosh, he is dashing, isn't he?
瞧他的头发 真是艺术啊
Look at that hair! It's a work of art.
女士们 先生们 你们好
Messieurs-dames, bonjour.
今天我向你们展示的技艺 非比寻常
What I will show you today, c'est tres unique.
你好 夫人
Bonjour, madame.
今天 我将使用日本刀具大♥师♥七流大智
Aujourd'hui, I will be using knives made specialement pour moi
为我量身定制的手术刀
by the Japanese knife master, Daichi Sichiru.
现在请病患出场
Let us bring forward a patient now.
狄龙先生
Monsieur Dillon.
先生 你因受到梅毒折磨而失去了鼻子
Monsieur, you have lost your nose due to the ravage of syphilis.
别担心
Don't worry.
我会为你造个新的
I will build you a new one.
女士们先生们 今天 见证奇迹
Ladies and gentlemen, today, un miracle.
我将从他额头上取下一块皮肤
I will take skin from the forehead of this man
用来为他做一个新的鼻子
and I will build him un nouveau nez.
印度人早在2千年前就做过这种手术
This is a process the Indians do 2,000 years ago.
今天 我为造福人类 重拾古人智慧
Today, I reclaim it for humanity.
他和你很像
He's just like you.
我称其为"印度植皮法"
I call it the Indian flap.
我只需在这划一刀
I simply cut here... Oop.
再在这划一刀
And here, oop.
然后拉下来
And then I flap.
不 先生 最后我才回答问题
Non, monsieur, I do questions at the end.
好的 但我现在就有问题
Yes, I have one now.
如果你从额头靠近发际线的地方取皮肤
If you take skin from the forehead near where the anterior hairline is,
-造出来的鼻子不会毛茸茸的吗 -不会
- doesn't that mean he'll end up with a hairy nose? - Mais non.
毛囊会在手术后死亡
The hair follicles will have died after the operation.
就像病患一样
Much like the patient.