江湖郎中（2017）

糖浆 乳液还有药膏
lotions and ointments for every ailment.
这款灵验的外用药膏能治愈
This efficacious embrocation will cure
头痛 牙痛 耳痛 所有病痛
headache, toothache, earache, any ache
立刻见效
in an instant.
又或者你正在被肥胖问题所困扰
Or is it corpulence which is affecting you?
别担心
Then fear not,
亚当牌抗肥胖药 作用于胃中食物
Adam's anti-fat acts on the food within the stomach,
阻止其转化为脂肪
preventing the process by which it turns to fat.
胖人吃了每星期
It will reduce a fat person by 2 to 5lb
能减1到2公斤 包管有效
every single week, guaranteed.
真是胡说八道 他应该为自己感到羞耻
What a load of bosh, he should be ashamed of himself.
这些东西没一个有效 你知道的吧
You realise none of that stuff actually works?
不 那个还挺有效的
Oh, no, that one's very good.
我之所以知道是因为
You know it's working
它能改变大便的颜色
because it changes the colour of your stools.
可能里面有点泻药成分
It's probably a bit of laxative
让你误以为有点作用
to make you think it's doing something.
我又不像你 是专家
Well, I'm not an expert like you,
但我会尽全力保持健康
but I try and do all I can to stay healthy.
想买♥♥牙刷吗
Want to buy a toothbrush?
不了 我都用手指的
Nah, I use me finger.
还有人想买♥♥牙刷吗
Anybody else want to buy a toothbrush?
女士们 这个神奇的药
Ladies, cure your husband's drunkenness with this
随茶 咖啡或是食物服下能给你们丈夫醒酒
marvellous medicament which can be taken in tea, coffee or food,
绝对能在神不知鬼不觉的情况下发挥疗效
absolutely and secretly curing the patient without his knowledge.
我还有能让肌肤重获新生
I also have lotions for the reinvigoration of the skin,
再现青春的乳液...
restoring youthfulness...
-我很肯定他破产了 -不
- I'm pretty sure he went bankrupt. - No.
那个寡妇呢
Well, what about that widow?
她叫什么 坎贝尔夫人 她是你的朋友
What's her name? Lady Campbell. She's a friend of yours.
朋友倒谈不上
I wouldn't say friend.
她父亲是我母亲的...
Her father was my mother's...
其实 我不知道他们是怎么认识的
Do you know, I don't know how they know each other.
但你可以介绍我们认识
But you can introduce me?
-可以 -太好了
- Yes. - Excellent.
-但我劝你别抱太大希望 -为什么
- But I wouldn't get your hopes up. - Why not?
她资助了霍克医生的直肠疾病研究
She funded Dr Hawk's research into diseases of the rectum.
是 但只有那一次
Yes, that was something of a one-off.
再也没有别人让她慷慨解囊过了
No-one else has inspired her generosity.
我肯定能说服她
I'm sure I could persuade her.
她不是资助了一个牙医吗
Didn't she give money to a dentist?
我深表怀疑
I doubt it.
事实上 我想要你们
In fact, I wanted to ask
下午帮我个忙
for your help with something this afternoon.
我给一位病人设计了一套激进的新治疗方法
A radical new treatment I've devised for a patient of mine.
这个人认为他随时
This man believes that he may
会被法国间谍抓走 审讯问斩
be seized by French spies at any moment, and tried and executed.
我的天啊 他做了什么
Bloody hell, what's he done?
什么都没做 他有极度偏执
Nothing. He has extreme monomania.
我打算演一场庭审 然后将他无罪释放
Now, my idea is to stage the trial and acquit him,
以清除他脑中的妄想
thus liberating his mind of this delusion.
-你能帮我吗 -不行
- Can I count on your help? - No.
你还想见坎贝尔夫人吗
Do you want to meet Lady Campbell?
-好吧 我帮你 -很好
- Fine, I'll help. - Good.
我会扮演被告律师
Now, I shall play the counsel for the defence.
你同意的话我会请卡洛琳扮演关键证人
With your permission I will ask Caroline to be key witness,
但我还差法官和原告律师
but I need judge and prosecution.
我写了一点台词
I've written a few lines,
其实就是张草图 说明流程
a sketch, really, of how the events should proceed.
最重要的是
Now, above all,
必须让哈罗德相信他真的在受审
Harold must be convinced he is actually on trial.
你这出戏里我根本没几句台词
I hardly have any lines in this little play of yours.
你可以在你觉得合适的地方稍加润色
Well, you can embellish a little as you see fit.
但请认真对待 罗伯特
But please take it seriously, Robert,
这事关一个人的生命和健康
a person's life and wellbeing are at stake.
我觉得这真是个绝妙的主意 威廉
Well, I think it's an absolutely splendid idea, William.
-谢谢 约翰 -你打算出多少钱
- Thank you, John. - How much are you paying?
-你还想要钱 -是的
- You want to be paid? - Yes, please.
没有钱 帮朋友忙是不需要给钱的
I'm not paying you. You don't pay your friends for a favour.
我身无分文了 威廉 我需要钱
Well, I'm strapped, William, I need cash.
我想我能出几先令
I suppose I could give you a few bob.
-8先令 -3先令
- Eight? - Three.
但你还欠我6先令 从里面扣吧
But you owe me six, so I'll take it off that.
那3先令我收下 算我欠你9先令
I'll take the three and owe you nine.
可这...
But that's the...
你被捕了 先生 我其实是个法国间谍
You are under arrest, sir. I am in fact a French spy.
你会以贵族身份接受庭审
You are to be tried as a noble.
我就知道这一天会来临的
I knew this day would come.
你在这里干什么
What are you doing here?
我是你的辩护律师
I'm your counsel for the defence.
你不是医生吗
I thought you were a doctor.
是的 我有两个职业
Yes, I'm both.
现在开庭
Le court is now in session.
请起立 迎接法官入庭
Please all rise pour le judge.
请坐下
Please be seated.
我们今天开庭是为审判这个人
We're gathered here today to decide whether this man,
哈罗德·芬奇 到底是不是法国贵族
Harold Finch, is in fact a French noble.
但在开始前 你们有好好对待自己的牙齿吗
But before we begin... Do you look after your teeth?
还在用布擦吗
Still using a cloth?
如果这些优质的新牙刷
If these fine new toothbrushes are good enough
对我这样的法官都足够好
for a magistrate like myself,
那对你们也足够好了
then they are good enough for you.
今天我向大家展示两个型号♥
Two models here for you today,
女士们先生们 温莎款
ladies and gentlemen, the Windsor...
-这是怎么回事 -材料为象牙和...
- What's going on? - ..Which is made of ivory and the...
这是
It is a...
给旁听观众宣传公共健康卫生
public health announcement for the benefit of the gallery.
这种情况在法庭很常见
Quite common in these courts.
法官阁下 可以开始了吗
Your Honour, shall we begin?
如果你不想因蔑视法庭而被收监
I'd ask you not to interrupt the judge
我劝你不要打断法官
unless you wish to be held in contempt of court.
-是的 可以开始 -谢谢
- Yes, you may proceed. - Thank you.
法官阁下
Monsieur le judge,
作为被告律师
I, the counsel for the defence,
我今天想证明
intend to prove today
被告人哈罗德·芬奇先生
that the accused, Mr Harold Finch,
既非贵族 亦非法国人
is neither noble nor French,
一旦法庭宣判他无罪
and once this court finds him innocent,
他将不必再活在恐惧之中
he will no longer have to live in fear
并能完全放下这个心头重担
and can remove this burden completely from his mind.
我请求传唤首位也是唯一一位证人
I would like to call my first and only witness,
玛丽·科尔内·土伦·杜·潘女伯爵夫人
Madame Countess Marie Cornet Toulon Du Pan.
女伯爵夫人
Madame Countess...
你是一位家喻户晓的法国贵族
you are a famous and very well-known French aristocrat
祖上血统纯正高贵
from a long line of inbred baron viscount marquis et senor.
-没错 -你是否真的认识
- Oui. Je suis. - And is it true that you, in fact,
法国的每一位男性贵族
know every single male noble in France?
是的 没错
Oui. C'est vrai.
其实在派对上我几乎把他们都睡遍了
In fact, I slept with most of them at parties.
说话小心点 亲爱的
Steady on, darling!
原告律师请等待自己的发言机会
The prosecution will wait its turn.
你刚刚说什么 卡洛琳
You were saying Caroline...
女伯爵
Countess.
我在群♥交♥派对上和所有法国贵族都睡过
Yes, I slept with all the French nobles at endless orgies
那场面连梵蒂冈都会感到羞愧
that would make even the Vatican blush.
肃静
Quite.
请你看看今天在场的人士
Now, looking around this room today,
其中是否有人和你共度过那些
is there anyone here who you recognise from one of these...
激♥情♥之夜
wild evenings?
-没有 没有人 -你确定吗
- Non, there is not. - Are you certain?