江湖郎中（2017）

那是个很好的主意
That's quite a good idea.
我需要拿出点成绩
I need some successes,
否则整个精神病院都会受到威胁
or the whole asylum is in threat!
你怎么不在结果上动点手脚
Why don't you fake some results?
这是可耻的想法
That's an outrageous idea!
是吗 你肯定做过
Is it? You must have done it.
没有 但那是因为外科手术结果难造假
No, but only because it's hard to fake results in surgery.
如果我声称成功截去了某人的腿
If I claim to have successfully removed someone's leg,
结果腿还在那人身上 那立刻就被拆穿了
it is easily disproved if the leg is still attached to the body.
但他要找的是一个疯子
But he's looking for someone who's mad
让人看到被他的某种疗法治愈了
and seen to be cured by one of his treatments.
我不会这么做 这是不光彩的建议
I'm not doing this! It's a disgraceful suggestion!
继续说
Go on.
要假装断了腿或得了肿瘤很难
Well, it's hard to fake a leg break or a tumour,
但装疯比较简单 不是吗
but relatively easy to fake madness, is it not?
没错 你只要叫人先这样
Yes, I mean, you just need someone to go like this...
然后你用你的
..And then you treat them with your...
那什么疗法进行治疗 然后他们不再这样
whatever it is you do, and then they stop going...
那你就治好了他们
..And then you'd have cured them.
你的建议大错特错
What you're suggesting is completely wrong.
再说 我要找谁装几天疯子
W-Who would I even get to pretend to be mad for a day or so?
医生们好
Hello, doctors.
有什么恶心的医学故事能让我高兴高兴吗
Got any new disgusting medical stories I'd enjoy?
-有关于肿瘤的吗 -哈布尔先生
- Any tumours that could talk? - Mr Hubble,
你知道有谁能令人信服地
do you know anyone who could convincingly pretend to be mad
装几天疯吗
for a couple of days?
我还会付给他们2磅
And I'd pay them 2 pounds.
你知道朗伯斯主教吗
Do you know the Bishop of Lambeth?
主教 那个好色主教吗
The Bish? The big Bish-Bash?
考文特花♥园♥的所有妓院都是他的
He owns all the mop-houses in Covent Garden.
他人不错 不是吗
He's a good chap, ain't he?
如果"人不错"是指他是个疯肥猪 那没错
By good chap you mean a mad, fat pig, then yes.
他需要切除阑尾
He needs an appendicectomy,
但我得在他不知情的情况下完成手术
and I've got to do it without him noticing.
正是
Precisely.
当他下次去其中一间妓院时
When he's next in one of his mop-houses,
你能帮我弄晕他吗
will you help me drug him?
你越来越相信麻♥醉♥药♥了吗
You're more and more persuaded to use drugs?
当有必要时
When the circumstances are right.
比如 有个有钱的疯主教
For instance, you've got a mad, rich bishop
相信自己能靠放屁排出阑尾时
who thinks he can fart out his appendix.
你好 菲茨
Good day, Fitz.
这是我带来的一名新病人
This is a new patient I'd like to have admitted, please.
他发的什么疯
What's his madness?
愚蠢的问题 你这个丑逼
What a stupid question, you pudding-faced turd!
我恨你
I hate you!
他行为暴♥力♥ 有无法控制的愤怒
He has a violent, uncontrollable rage.
-名字 -我叫什么名字
- Name? - Isn't it obvious
不是很明显吗 你个多毛傻子
what my name is, you hairy idiot?
瞧瞧你的蠢帽子
Look at your stupid hat!
他叫保罗 保罗·哈布尔
Yes, it's Paul. Paul Hubble.
给你 克拉克森先生 用于治疗腺体肿胀
There you are, Mr Clarkson. That's for your glandular swelling.
-好的 -这是用于治疗脸部疼痛
- Right. - And that's for your face sore.
谢谢
Thank you.
萨顿先生 今天想买♥♥点什么
Mr Sutton! What can we furnish you with today?
父亲上次调配的药膏怎么样
How was Father's last poultice?
非常好 我从中蒸馏出吗♥啡♥ 喝了
Terrific. I distilled the morphine out of it, drank it
现在我对过去三天毫无印象
and now I can't remember the last three days.
它是用来涂抹于发炎处
It was intended to be rubbed on inflammations,
而不是用来蒸馏出吗♥啡♥喝掉的
not distilled and drunk.
是吗 我真笨
Was it? Oh. Silly me.
有什么有趣的新药草
Any interesting new herbs,
酊剂或者混合药吗
tinctures or boogies in?
父亲调配了一种治疗血液不纯的新秘方药
Father's made a new nostrum to cure impure blood.
他说里面放了各种好东西
Got all sorts of gubbins in it, he said.
那么请给我一点
Um, well, let me have a little of that, then, please.
既然都来了 顺便再买♥♥三瓶鸦♥片♥酊
And since I'm here, I could use another three bottle of laudanum.
-大瓶 -好的
- Large. - Very well.
这是新秘方药
And here's the new nostrum.
贝尔先生的血液混合剂
Mr Bell's Blood Mixture.
能根治各种血液疾病
Permanent cure for all blood diseases,
还能增加"活力"
plus increased vitality.
你自己试过吗
You tried it yourself?
你知道我不能试店里的产品
You know I'm not permitted to try the store's products!
你想和我一起试试吗 今天下午
Would you like to try some, with me, this afternoon?
也许可以先到公园散散步
Perhaps after a walk in the park?
父亲不会同意的
Father will say no.
所以我们别问他
So let's not ask him.
你又想干嘛 傻屌♥ 穿好衣服
What do you want now, you massive bawbag? Tuck your shirt in!
如你所见 他有股不可控制的无名怒火
As you can see, he has uncontrollable abstract rages
会危及到自己和他人
that make him a danger to himself and others.
我怀疑这是由独居引发的
I suspect it was brought on by the solitary vice.
我有信心 如果让我和他待一段时间
I'm confident that if I can spend a little time with him
用镇静法加以治疗
doing calming activities,
我也许能将这无理性的怒火
I may be able to divert this irrational anger
转移到更有意义的地方
towards something more purposeful.
用冷水澡浇灭他的怒火不也一样简单吗
Wouldn't his anger be just as easily diverted by a cold bath?
或者给他放放血
Or bleed him?
我不想给他放血
I don't want to bleed him.
-但流血总能让他们平静下来 -是的
- Bleeding always calms 'em. - Yes.
我们可以给他放血
We could bleed him.
干得漂亮 菲茨
Well done, Fitz.
我认为这名男子可以用鼓励法恢复平静
I think this man can be encouraged back to gentleness.
请让我向您证明我的方法是有效的
Let me prove to you that my methods here can bring results.
好吧 截止到周五3点
Very well. Till Friday, at three o'clock.
如果到那时他还是愚蠢地大喊大叫
If he's still shouty and silly,
我们就改用冷水澡和旋转椅疗法
then we'll progress to the cold bath and the rotating chair.
没问题
By all means.
亲爱的 我得和你谈谈这本书
Darling, I need to talk to you about this book.
哪本书
Which book?
请让我们单独待会儿
Leave us for a moment, please.
《风流的土耳其人》
The Lustful Turk.
这本书讲述了一个英国女人假期的经历
It's about an Englishwoman and what she gets up to on her holiday.
我从没读过哪本书
I have never read such a degrading
有描写那么多不受控制的可耻欲望
torrent of uncontrolled passions.
每一页 每一页 每一页
Page after page after page after page after...
全是这些内容
page of it!
有个女仆发现我在读这本书
One of the maids caught me reading it.
一想到我妻子可能被人发现在读这种东西
I was so ashamed to think that my wife
我就感到很丢脸
might be thought to be reading such material,
所以我不得不假装这是我的书
I had to pretend it was my book!
波莉现在以为你喜欢
Does Polly now think you have a taste
读有关土耳其男人的故事了吗
for stories about Turkish men?
土耳其男人...
Turkish men performing...
在帐篷里干羞耻的事
unspeakable acts in a tent!
你不喜欢那段吗
You didn't like that bit?
尽管我不断地恳求你
Despite my endless entreaties,
你还是用实际行动来羞辱我
you continue to embarrass me with your behaviour.
公然阅读这种书籍
Reading such material in public!
还执意要上解剖课
Persisting in attending anatomy classes.
没错 我想成为一名医生
Yes. I intend to become a doctor.
但那是绝对不可能的 死心吧
But that is never going to happen, so give it up!
你曾经爱的就是我的雄心壮志
You loved me for my ambition once.
你当时怀的又不是要当医生的雄心
That wasn't medical ambition then, was it?
那只是...
It was just...
对不同事物的普遍热情
general enthusiasm for different things.
你只需把这个家料理好
All I need you to do is run this household properly.
这就够了 和百万普通女性一样就行
That's all. Like a million other normal women.
但我不想这么做 我恨这个家
Yes, but I don't want to do that! I hate this house!
我恨我被困在这里守着这些东西
And I hate being stuck in here with all these things!