公寓大楼里的谋杀案（2021）
Only Murders in the Building S03E01
Part 2
Aug. 10, 2023, 12:19 p.m.
It's also a career joke. And I loved it,
但能不能聊聊我
but can we talk about me now,
还有我竟然要跟班葛兰罗伊共处一室了
and how I cannot believe I'm going to be in the same room as Ben Glenroy?
头发要绑还是放下 他喜欢耳朵吗
Hair up or hair down? Do you think he likes ears?
梅宝 演员只是普通人
Mabel, actors are just people.
记得你刚认识我时多紧张吗
Remember how nervous you were to meet me at first?
好像不记得了 -但现在看看我们
I don't maybe remember that? - Yeah, but now look at us.
我们进去的时候 你要怎么开场
Hey, when we get there, how do you wanna handle the entrances?
也许我该等你介绍再进去 -介绍
Maybe you introduce me, and then I come in? - Introduce?
这是读剧 查尔斯 不是《唐娜瑞德秀》
This is a table read, Charles. It's not The Donna Reed Show.
唐娜瑞德是... -省省吧
Donna Reed was-- - It's not worth it.
好 拜托你别一开始就急着求关注
Okay, now, please do not start this journey by alienating all of your colleagues
结果疏远所有同事
with some desperate attempt at peacocking.
不准求关注
No peacocking!
奥利佛帕南来了 -我的天啊
Oliver Putnam in da house!
我有个问题
I have a question.
谁想去百老汇 -我
Who wants to go to Broadway?
感谢各位的注意
We thank you for your attention.
分享一件趣闻 我记得我参加
Brief anecdote: I remember when I auditioned
奥利佛帕南先生这出戏的甄选时
for Mr. Oliver Putnam for this very play.
是真的
It's true.
你记得你对我说的话吗
Do you remember what you said to me, Oliver?
我确实记得 我说 「你不如来当我的助理吧 」
I sure do. I said, "How about you be my assistant, instead?"
是的 一字不差
That's right. Yes. Word for word.
现场交给你了
The floor is yours.
谢谢你 哈尔德
Thank you, Howard.
我们的男主角会晚一点到
So our leading man is running a skitch late,
但我们先开始吧
but let's go ahead and get started.
欢迎各位来到《临死之鸣》的世界
I welcome you all... to the world... of Death Rattle!
(《临死之鸣》) (班葛兰罗伊)
哇 -我的天啊
Oh, my God!
好
Yeah.
这个死亡的故事
A story of death
发生在雾濛濛的新斯科细亚省 北部的一座灯塔里
that happens in a lighthouse in foggy upper Nova Scotia,
而命案发生时 唯一在场的人
where the only person in the room, when the deaths occurred,
是一个小婴儿
is an infant child.
有人可能会说这是个老掉牙的故事
Now, some may call this chestnut of a play a little dusty,
当然 老实说 我自己也说过几次
uh, but of course, I've been called that myself a few times, frankly.
我们的金牌制♥作♥人 唐娜戴米欧当初打给我时...
When our amazing producer, Donna Demeo, first called me about--
还有克里夫
With Clifford.
我儿子小克是第一次单独制♥作♥一出戏
My son, Cliff, who is making his first solo producing effort here.
但他有我陪
But with me.
谢了 妈 谢谢大家
Thanks, Mom. Thank you, thanks.
我超级兴奋的 因为
I am so super excited because,
就像这些在暴风雨中 受困致命灯塔的角色一样
like your characters who are trapped in a hurricane in a deadly lighthouse,
我们会席卷百老汇的
we're gonna take Broadway by storm!
哇 -很厉害吧
Wow! How about that?
我好以我儿子为傲
I'm so proud of my boy.
好...好
So, so, so, so, so...
好骄傲
proud.
他是同性恋 所以我能那样亲他
He's gay, so I can kiss him like that.
好了
Alrighty, then.
我想...
So, I think that--
怎么了
What?
我只是喜欢这么做
Oh, I just like doing this.
不 我想说几句话
No, no, if I may. Uh,
这是一个很小的空间
we're in a very small room here,
我想谈谈大家避而不提的演艺圈大老
and I'd like to address the show business elephant inside it,
那个演艺圈大老就是我
and that show business elephant is me.
我的老天爷 -对
Oh, dear lord. Yes,
我在224集的电视剧中 演过亚里斯多德布拉奏斯
I played Aristotle Brazzos in 224 episodes of dramatic television.
亚里斯多德 -太扯了
Aristotle? - I can't.
还有目前中断的重启版
As well as a reboot, uh, which is currently on hiatus
因为制♥作♥人在处理骚扰指控
because the producer is up on harassment charges.
我还演过三部电视电影
I also starred in three made-for-TV movies,
以及杜凯吉斯造势活动的一系列广♥告♥
uh, and also a series of TV ads for the Dukakis campaign.
我想说的是 我跟你们一样 我并不特别
All this is to say, I'm just like you. I'm nobody special.
我是说我没有比较特别 因为在某方面 我们都...
I mean, I'm not any more special because, in a way, we're all...
甘地好像说过
I think it was Gandhi who said,
「不是每个人」... -真谢谢你 查尔斯
"Isn't everyone, though, just--" Thank you so much, Charles.
真激励人心 太棒了 -我迷倒他们了吗
How inspiring. That was wonderful. - Did I stick the landing?
我看他们倒胃口到不行
The plane is literally scattered across the runway.
好了 我们等班来的时候
Alright then! As we await Ben,
不如先来瞧瞧布景的模型吧
why don't we now take a look at the model for our set?
天啊
好 老实说 我觉得剧场有点鸟
Okay, secret? I think theater is kinda lame.
大家会穿上没有真人肯穿的戏服
People all dressed up in costumes no real person would ever wear,
假装没有人坐在下面看着他们
acting like nobody's sitting out there
说些没有真人会说的话
watching them say things no real person would ever say.
但起码这出戏演的是谋杀之谜
But at least this piece of theater is a murder mystery.
这我还能理解
That, I can get my head around.
而每个谋杀之谜都需要一个受害者
And every murder mystery needs a victim.
它真的很棒...
It really is brill--
好了 好了
Okay! Okay!
(排练室)
是谁放屁
Who farted?
班葛兰罗伊 各位先生女士 -不 停下来
Ben Glenroy, ladies and gentlemen! - No, stop, stop, stop, stop!
很好 很好
谢谢 对了 他是我的经纪人迪奇
Thank you. Oh, by the-- This is my manager, Dickie.
他不只是我经纪人 也是我哥哥
He's not just my manager, he's also my brother.
但请别说他「靠关系」
But please don't say nepotism,
因为他对自己的能力很没信心
because he gets very insecure about his abilities.
嗨 -他也是我们迟到的原因
Hi. He's also the reason we're late.
迪奇指错街区...
Dickie had us a, a block over.
不会吧 大伙 这是我们的卡司 -对
No way! You guys! This is my cast? - Yes!
对 我们很兴奋 -嗨 我是班
Yes, and we are so thrilled! - Hi. I'm Ben.
我也是受过训练的亲密戏指导
I'm also trained as an intimacy coordinator.
嗨 我是金柏
Hi, I'm Kimber,
我不知道我们有爱情戏
and I didn't realize we had any love scenes.
什么 我们现在就在其中啊
What? We're in the middle of one right now.
金柏超惹火
Timber for Kimber.
而你也他妈的太帅了 快把他开除掉
And you... are way too fuckin' handsome. Somebody fire him, now!
我是阿泰
I'm Ty.
麻烦你们签一下保密协议
Oh! If y'all would just please quick sign these NDAs,
最后一页有说你们能接受我们拍摄
and the last page telling us you're okay with us filming.
抱歉 拍摄
I-I'm sorry, filming?
对 用一场秀的价格看两场秀
Yeah. Two, uh, shows for the price of one.
我的百老汇处♥女♥秀 跟我百老汇处♥女♥秀的纪录片
My Broadway debut, and a documentary about my Broadway debut.
他是我的纪录片导演托伯特 你们没听错
This is my documentarian, Tobert. You heard that right.
托开头的罗伯特
It's Robert with a T.
百老汇 我只是观察者
Hey, Broadway, I am just an observer.
这是你们最后一次听到我出声
This is literally the last time you're gonna hear my voice.
你好 班 我是查尔斯海登萨维奇... -靠
Hello, Ben. I'm Charles Hayden-Savage. Fuck me!
从这个角落传来的能量...
Oh, the energy coming from this corner!
对吧 大家都有感觉吗
Am I right? Do we all feel this?
班 这位是我们的保母...
Ben, this is our Nanny.
罗芮塔 -对
Loretta. - Yeah.
奥利佛说你不容小觑
Oliver tells me you're one to look out for.
奥利佛 你真会恭维
Oh, well, Oliver flatters.
别抢我锋头就好
Just don't upstage me.
好... -我开玩笑的
I'm kidding.
我开玩笑的 我很荣幸能跟你共事
I'm kidding. No, I'm honored to work with you.
天啊
Oh well--
我的朋友都非常兴奋 我要跟那个毒蛇侠同台演出
Well, my friends are just beside themselves that I'm gonna get to work with the CoBro.
天啊 拜托 「毒蛇侠」就好
Oh God, no, please. Just... Just CoBro.
什么
Sorry?
「那个」让我听起来像个混♥蛋♥
Yeah, no, the "the" makes me sound like an asshole.
就像「那个巨石强森」或「那个教宗」
Like, The Rock. Or the Pope.
拜托 少自大了
I mean, come on, get over yourselves.
好 -对吧
Yeah. - Right?
但在片中 我只是友善的动物学家
But, in the films, I'm just the friendly zoologist
又能变身成20呎长的眼镜蛇 帮警♥察♥抓坏人而已
who morphs into a 20-foot cobra and helps the cops save the day.
那边的
公寓大楼里的谋杀案（2021）
Only Murders in the Building
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