杰茜驾到（2011）

I will gladly receive said wet wipe
我想借一张
and clean off my lower half.
擦干净我的下半身
Your Honor, may I request a recess?
法官阁下 我能请求休庭吗
Come on, Miller, churn out the magic.
拜托 米勒 来点灵感
Come on. Let's get started. Let's go.
开始吧 写起来
"Nick Miller grew up in Chicago.
尼克米勒在芝加哥长大
"He came from a family.
他来自于一个家庭
He hated Winston.
他讨厌温斯顿
"Winston was really annoying.
温斯顿真的很讨厌
In a lot of ways, Winston is still annoying, but..."
在很多方面 温斯顿都很讨厌 但是...
It's supposed to be about me!
要写的应该是我的故事
Stupid Winston, it's sup...
该死的温斯顿 应该...
I'm screwed, I only have six pages. What time is it?
我完蛋了 我才写了六页 几点了
3:01.
三点零一
3:01. I'm screwed.
三点零一 我完蛋了
It was you.
是你
Craigslist, bitch!
广♥告♥分类网 该死的
It was always you.
一直都是你
Wow, Stuart really nailed the face-drawing portion.
斯图尔特脸画得真不错
He included eyelashes and expressive eyebrows.
他画了睫毛还有相当生动的眉毛
Must you narrate?
你非得解说吗
The whole point of the audio-enhanced plexiglass
之所以用声音加强的树脂玻璃
is that I can hear on my own.
就是让我自己能听见
Oh, boy, it's circle-cutting time.
到了剪圆片的时候了
Miss Carly is handing the scissors to Ruth.
卡莉小姐把剪刀给了露丝
Ruth is taking the scissors.
露丝接住了剪刀
Ruth is starting to use the scissors.
露丝开始使剪刀了
Don't tell me what she's doing.
别告诉我她在干什么
Actually, you know what? Tell me. Never tell me.
算了 告诉我 别告诉我
Forget it, this is a disaster, we should go.
算了 这简直是灾难 我们该走了
Ruth S.
露丝·S
Your circle is perfect.
你的圆剪得太完美了
I knew it. I want to buy her things.
我就知道 我想给她买♥♥东西
I want to buy her lots and lots of things.
我想给她买♥♥好多好多东西
Suck it, Benjamin! Your bouche just got amused.
去你的 本杰明 我们让老师开心了
But what if it's not a circle, Miss Carly?
但如果这不是个圆呢 卡莉小姐
No! What if it's a moon,
不 要是这是个月亮
and it's sad 'cause it's daytime?
而它现在很悲伤因为现在是白天呢
What a colossal crap of the bed.
说什么梦话呢
Ruth S, wonderful imagination.
露丝·S 超棒的想象力
You just earned three tadpoles.
奖励你三个蝌蚪
Three tadpoles! Three frigging tadpoles!
三个蝌蚪 三个蝌蚪
Everyone, right here.
大家都看这边
You know what got her those three t-poles?
你知道是什么让她得到了三个蝌蚪吗
Hippie-dippy mishegas.
嬉皮疯狂手工
Well, she couldn't cut a perfect circle
要是没有你冷血的完美要求
without your cold-blooded demand for excellence.
她也剪不出一个完美的圆
Is it possible that after all of this time fighting,
有没有可能在争吵了这么久之后
that, together, we're the perfect parent?
我们一起才算是完美父母
I mean, look, you're sweet. You're salty.
你看 你这么甜美 你这么咸湿
Excuse me, she lived inside of me, ya jerks.
拜托 她是我生的 混♥蛋♥们
No. No, Stuart!
不 不 斯图尔特
That's an oval!
那是个椭圆
Oh, well, looky over there.
看看这边
What is this? Huh?
这是什么
I don't love you anymore!
我不再爱你了
Oval's for losers.
剪出椭圆的都是废柴
Hey. Your name is Denise now.
你现在叫丹尼斯了
What? No, it's not, Schmidt's kid.
什么 不是的 施密特的孩子
Piccolo! Piccolo!
短笛 短笛
Piccolo! Piccolo!
短笛 短笛
All right, I heard you.
好吧 我听见了
Too much pressure. He's a kid, Denise.
你给他太多压力了 他只是个孩子 丹尼斯
Oh boy. Why is she calling everybody Denise?
天哪 她为什么管谁都叫丹尼斯
The whole system is corrupt. Meow!
整个系统都腐♥败♥透顶了 喵
They jammed the damn door shut with a piccolo.
他们用短笛把门给封死了
Meow!
喵
Schmidt-Stain! Help me!
施密特蛋 帮帮我
Losing confidence?
失去信心了吗
Nick, what are you doing here, man?
尼克 你来这干什么 伙计
I came to thank you. I got punched in the face,
我是来谢谢你的 我被狠狠地打了脸
and I gotta say, it set me free.
不得不说 让我解脱了
Check it out, man. 20 pages.
你看看 二十页
And they're all good. Some of them are good.
而且都是好故事 有的是好故事
Five pages are good.
有五页是好故事
I really like the title. I'm proud of you, man.
我真的很喜欢标题 我为你骄傲 伙计
I couldn't have done it without you.
没有你我绝对写不出来
Aw, stop. Honestly.
行了 真的
You push me, man, you always have.
你鼓励了我 你一直都在鼓励我
I don't know who I would've been if I hadn't've met you.
我都不知道如果没有遇见你我会变成怎样
Chicago, man. Chicago.
芝加哥 伙计 芝加哥
Tough love, man. Chicago.
艰难的爱 伙计 芝加哥
Let's go see the Bean. What?
我们一起去看憨豆 什么
I-I don't know. I don't know why I said that.
我不知道 我不知道我为什么要说这句
Winston, I came here to punch you. Okay.
温斯顿 我是来揍你的 好吧
Punch you with my truth fist in your guilt nuts.
用我的真理之拳击粉碎你的愧疚
Okay? And I'm gonna punch your nuts hard.
好吗 我会狠狠使劲的
Okay. How long you been working this case?
好吧 这个案子你参与多久了
Long time, man. Months.
很久了 好几个月了
And does anybody know it better than you? Nobody.
有任何人比你了解得更清楚吗 没有
Then why don't you have the confidence to take the stand?
那你为何没有信心去作证呢
The problem is, is you still see yourself
问题就在于 你依然把自己当做
as that 10-year-old boy
那个十岁的小孩
who fainted the first time you went rollerblading.
那个第一次滑直排轮的时候就晕倒的你
You rolled right into Lake Michigan.
你径直滑进了密歇根湖
That did wake me up.
这可没法给我信心
But you're not that kid.
但你不再是那个孩子了
You're a detective now.
你现在是个警探了
Married to the love of your life.
娶了你的一生挚爱
You have a child on the way.
孩子也即将诞生
Unburden yourself, Winston.
卸下负担吧 温斯顿
Now, I'm going to ask you one last time.
现在我再最后问你一次
Did you or did you not masturbate?
你到底有没有打飞机
I. Did. Not.
我 没 有
Damn it, Detective. I didn't.
该死 警探 我没有
Detective?
警探
Did you have intent to pleasure yourself?
你是否有想要去打飞机
I did.
我是想了
Niiiick!
尼克
I did have the intent, man.
我确实想了 伙计
But you know how it is
但是你懂的
when you're a hot-blooded chicago teenager, man.
作为血气方刚的芝加哥青年
Oh, yeah.
是啊
But it's over now.
但已经过去了
Wow. Man, I feel better.
伙计 我感觉好些了
Of course you do. I feel a lot better.
当然了 我感觉好多了
Get in here, man. Chicago.
抱一个 芝加哥
Chicago. Chicago.
芝加哥 芝加哥
Detective, recess is over. We're ready for you now.
警探 休庭结束了 该你上了
I wanted to pleasure myself,
我想要愉悦自己
and this man helped me get there.
他帮我达成了目标
Aw, you did it on your own. Oh, no, you helped me.
你自己做到的 不 是你帮我的
No, you did it on your own.
不 你自己做到的
Okay, I did it on my own.
好吧 我自己做到的
Chicago. Chicago.
芝加哥 芝加哥
I really hope the paramedics got that piccolo
真希望救护人员能把那个短笛
out of Miss Carly. Oh, I doubt it.
从卡莉小姐身上取出来 我深表怀疑
The doctor at the hospital said that
医院的医生说
Benjamin will have a permanent smile.
本杰明脸上会留下永久的笑容
Like the Joker.
就像小丑一样