杰茜驾到（2011）

Talk to you later.
回头再跟你算账
Bye, Ruth. Great job.
拜 露丝 学得很好
Green is green.
绿色就是绿色
You did this. You did this. You did this. You did this.
都怪你 都怪你 都怪你 都怪你
You did this. You did this.
都怪你 都怪你
Are we still on this?
我们还在说这事吗
When are you gonna let this go?
什么时候才能不说这个了
When you come clean, Detective.
等你自证清白了 警探
There is nothing to come clean about.
没什么好证明的
Wait, aren't you 11 pages away from getting punched in the face?
等等 你不是还差十一页就要被打脸了吗
Oh, just answer the question.
只管回答问题就好
Does or does not the evidence speak for itself?
证据是否会自己说话
Do I need to refresh your memory, sir?
要提醒提醒你吗 先生
I didn't phone ahead to warn you of my arrival.
我没有提前打电♥话♥告诉你我要来
I just thought it would be fun to surprise you at college.
我觉得去你宿舍给你个惊喜会很有意思
It was fun.
是很有意思
Well, it should have been fun.
本来就应该很有意思
A man in front of a computer... No...
你坐在电脑前...没有...
I was checking my EarthLink.
我在查我的"地球连线"
With no pants on.
没有穿裤子
You know my bottoms run hot!
你知道我裤子穿着热
Tissues suspiciously close.
纸巾触手可及
They were Doug's.
那是道格的
Lotion. One sock.
润肤乳 一只袜子
Ashy elbows. Cold left foot.
左肘疼 左脚冷
Look, why am I explaining this to you?
我为什么要跟你解释这个
You're the one who's supposed to be writing right now.
现在该你写作了
You know what I figured out?
我知道我明白什么了吗
You are a procrastinator.
你就是拖延症晚期
Said the pro-masturbator.
飞机大♥师♥还有脸说我
You always procrastinate
只要是重要的事情
when something is important to you.
你总是会拖延
And you know how I know?
你知道我怎么知道的吗
January 12, 2001.
2001年1月12日
Damn you. You drove eight hours across the country
该死 你开了八个小时车 横穿全国
to come see me at college,
来宿舍看我
to ask me if I have seen A Bug's Life.
问我有没有看过《虫虫危机》
A Bug's Life.
《虫虫危机》
The weekend before your midterms.
就在你期中考试前一周
You son of a bitch!
你个小贱♥人♥
Big test, oh, yeah.
大考在即
Focus.
集中精力
Oh, I got to pick that up.
我得去捡起来
It's been a while though, hasn't it?
好久不见 对吧
You should have appreciated
你应该感激
the fact that your friend hitchhiked
你朋友搭便车
across the country to visit you.
横穿全国来看你
You're a procrastinator.
你就是拖延症晚期
You want to know why you procrastinate? I'll tell you.
想知道自己为什么拖延吗 我告诉你
But you didn't give me a chance to answer.
因为你都没给我机会回答
How am I supposed to answer
如果连机会都没有
if not given the chance?
我又怎么回答
Fine. Answer. It's a vague question.
行 你回答吧 这个问题很模糊
It's not a vague question. Why do you procrastinate?
一点也不模糊 你为什么要拖延
I don't know. Nick, you procrastinate
我不知道 尼克 你一遇到
when something is important to you, because deep down,
重要的事情就拖延 是因为在你内心深处
you're don't think you're good enough to get it done.
你觉得自己没有能力去做到
That's the dumbest thing I've...
这是我听过的最蠢的...
It's also... that's possibly true,
不过倒也可能是事实
because that really feels like what I do when I...
因为感觉还真是我会干的...
Keep going, you're in a good zone.
继续说 你说到点子上了
So, of course, when you actually get the opportunity
所以自然你真的有了机会
to write something about your own life,
来写自己的人生经历
the first thing you do is choke.
你首先就开始拖延了
You know how I know?
知道我怎么知道的吗
Well, because for some reason, I'm your oldest friend.
因为出于某些原因 我是你最老的朋友
So I hope you get punched in the face today.
所以我希望今天能好好打打你的脸
I really do.
真的
And then maybe,
然后或许
you'll finally see that you are good enough
你就能看清楚
to be everything you want to be.
你能胜任一切
You masturbated one time.
你打了一次飞机
I swear to God, Nick.
我对天发誓 尼克
If I wasn't kicked off of Craigslist...
我要不是被广♥告♥分类网删帖...
Schmidt, you look like you're gonna be sick.
施密特 你看上去像要呕吐了似的
Remember, they've only been on the planet for three years.
记住 他们来到这个世界不过三年而已
Oh, God. Is that kid reading Jonathan Franzen?
天哪 那孩子是在读强纳森·法兰森的书吗
Wow, this place is like the frickin' Louvre.
天 这地方简直跟卢浮宫似的
There's a kid handing out mints in the bathroom.
卫生间还有孩子在发薄荷糖
Well, then, why'd you come?
你来干什么
To see your liberal snowflake hippie trash handiwork?
来看你的自♥由♥主义雪花嬉皮垃圾手工吗
No. I came for Ruth.
不 我是为了露丝来的
And in silent protest against institutions
并无声地抗♥议♥教育机构
such as this hellhole.
比如这个破地方
But it's quicker to say "For Ruth."
但直接说"为了露丝"简单得多
You are a queer little woman.
你真是个怪人
Guys, tighten up. All right?
伙计们 绷紧点 好吗
They started assessing us the minute we parked the car.
从停车起他们就开始评估我们了
Xiawuhao. What?
下午好 你好
That's "Good afternoon" In Mandarin.
这是中文的下午好
Just a little amuse-bouche for the judges.
给评委们的一点餐前点心
I also brought an actual amuse-bouche.
我还带了真正的餐前点心
It's a crostini with burrata and tomato.
布拉塔奶酪和西红柿的面包
Doesn't that sound yummy, Schmidt?
听起来是不是很美味 施密特
Back off, Benjamin. Your burrata doesn't scare me.
少来 本杰明 你的布拉塔奶酪吓不到我
I think it does. It kind of scares me.
我觉得吓到了 吓到我了
Ruth, just ignore them. You're gonna do great in there, okay?
露丝 别管他们 你会表现的很好的 好吗
Feeling good?
感觉好吗
Meow.
喵
Ha! She just said "Meow."
她刚说了"喵"
Okay. Kids,
好了 孩子们
you can go inside. And parents,
你们可以进去了 家长们
you'll be watching from a two-way mirror,
你们将在单向透明镜后观看
which was a generous gift from a family
是某个强大到不能透露姓名的家族
that's too powerful to name.
提供的慷慨礼物
It's Tate Donovan.
是塔特·多诺万
All right. Let's go.
好了 我们走
Let's hit it. Okay, you ready, honey?
我们走 你准备好了吗 亲爱的
Remember what we talked about.
记住我们说过的
ROYGBIV. Red, orange, yellow...
红橙黄绿蓝靛紫 红色 橙色 黄色...
Schmidt, she's got it. Okay?
施密特 她知道的 好吗
You're gonna do great in there.
你在里面会表现得很好的
You're gonna bring the heat, aren't you, Ruth?
你会表现得很耀眼的 对吧露丝
Ruth gonna do what Ruth gonna do.
露丝会随心所欲的
Oh, dear God. Okay.
天哪 得
Please state your name, sir.
请陈述姓名 先生
I'm Winston Bottoms.
我是温斯顿·短裤
Uh, Winston I Was Wearing Bottoms.
温斯顿·我当时穿着短裤
Damn it. S-I'm sorry to curse.
该死 抱歉
I didn't mean-- uh, that's... I know my name.
我不是说...我知道自己的名字
Let's just get that-- let the record show that.
希望能让...让记录体现出来
When you do your thing.
你记录的时候
And um...
以及
I'm Detective Bottoms.
我是短裤侦探
Are you okay, sir?
你没事吧 先生
Ha. I'm-I'm... yes, sir, I'm sorry, um...
我...没事 抱歉
My lower half has got the sweats.
我下半身全是汗
I'd like to put in a request for a wet wipe.
我想要一张湿巾
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
陪审团的女士们先生们
if anyone has a wet wipe,
如果你们谁有湿巾