米兰达（2009）

If you would like to arrange redelivery, press 1.
如果你想安排重新派送请按1
Please state clearly when you would like the package redelivered.
请你清楚说出希望什么时候重新派送您的包裹
Tuesday. Did you say...
周二 你是不是说
Monday. No, who are you?
周一 才不是 你哪根葱啊
I'm sorry, we couldn't identify.
对不起 我们不能确认
Tuesday.
周二
I'm sorry. Did you say...
不好意思 你是不是说
Thursday.
周四
Tuesday.
周二
Tuesday.
周二
I mean, I literally can't make it any clearer.
我还要怎么说清楚
Tuesday. You've gone too posh now.
周二 口音有点太时髦了
When would you like the package redelivered?
您想什么时候重新派送
Toosday, innit?
周你妹的二
Did you say... Tuesday.
你是不是说 周二
Yes. Please confirm, did you say...
对 请确认 你是不是说
Tuesday. YEES.
周二 是
I mean if it can't understand that,
他要连这个都不懂
what is the point?!
要他干什么
Putting you through to an operator.
正在帮您转接话务员
Hello, UPD Delivery, can I help you?
你好这里是UPD物流 有什么可以帮忙
Yes, hello, I don't know, I've been put through,
对 你好 不知道怎么回事 我被转接了
because I was doing voice recognition.
我刚刚一直在语♥音♥识别中
Yes, that's all fine, your parcel
好的 没问题 你的包裹
will be delivered tomorrow between 8am and 7pm.
会在明天早8点到晚7点派送
And you can't specify a time?
你能不能再把时间详细一些
I'm afraid we can only give you a time...
我们只能给你
we can only give you a period of 8am to 7pm. OK, thank you!
我们只能给早8点到晚7点这个时间 好的 谢谢
Do you think they get trained in those phone voices?
你觉得他们是不是就是被训练成个声音
Why is it you never meet anyone in real life
那你为什么在现实生活中从没遇到过一个人
who speaks like that? You always hear it at spas, don't you?
说话这个动静 你经常会在泡温泉的时候听到 是吧
Yeah. "So, you're here for a day package..."
对啊 "你是来弄个日间套餐"
"Would you like any treatments?"
"你想不想做一些护理"
Imagine living with a voice like that.
想象一下和说话这样的人生活在一起
My husband doesn't seem to mind.
我老公才不在乎
Oh, still there!
还没挂啊
Mmm, I have missed your baking.
我太想念你的糕点了
Right, and me? Have you missed me?
好啊 我呢 你有没有想我
Er, nope, mainly been the cakes.
没有 主要是蛋糕
Of course I've missed you.
我当然想你
Come here.
来抱一下
Oh, are you two...
你们两个是不是
Just friends.
只是朋友
Now listen, what time are your Mum and Dad coming to pick you up?
你♥爸♥妈什么时候来接你
Any minute now. Tilly's in Mauritius,
随时会来 Tilly在毛里求斯
you're at yours, it's not fair.
那你在你家 太不公平了
I'm giving it one more shot to get out of it.
我要再试着逃离一次
I can't face being irrationally irritated for three days.
我不能忍♥受这3天一直被无缘无故的激怒
Two-week bumper Radio Times.
<广播时报>豪华两周合订本
Feel the heft of telly heaven.
感受一下电视天堂的重量
What day is it? One never knows at Christmas. Thursday, I think.
是周几 我也不知道圣诞节是周几 我记得是周四吧
Ah, but which Thursday?
但是哪个周四
It says Christmas Day at the top!
最上面写着圣诞节呢
23rd, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day!
23号♥ 圣诞节 平安夜
How clever of it. We have the same conversation every year!
这个多聪明 我们每年都会有这段对话
"Feel the heft of telly heaven." "Which day is it?"
"感受一下电视天堂的重量""那是周几"
"One never knows at Christmas."
"谁都不知道圣诞节是周几"
"Which week?" It says Christmas Day!
"那一周" 你妹上面都写着呢
And tonight at the jumper party
今晚的毛衣派对
I'll be surrounded by Mum's crazy posh friends.
我会被我妈各种神经时髦的朋友包围
Last year I heard one of them say,
去年我听到一个人说
"I take a rubber band to parties,
"我带了一根橡皮筋去了派对
"Slip it round my glass, I'll easily spot it on a crowded table."
把它弄在了我的眼镜上 我可以轻而易举的在很乱的桌子上找到它"
So annoying. And Mum'll be at her worst.
太闹心了 然后我妈更糟
Oh, come on, she's not that bad.
不要这样 她还没有那么差
**Dashing through the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh*
*冲过大风雪 他们坐在雪橇上
**O'er the fields we go*
*奔驰过田野
**Laughing all the way*
*欢笑又歌♥唱
**Jingle bells, jingle*
*叮叮当 叮叮
Isn't it thrilly bots?
多激动啊
Come on, Charles.
快来啊 Charles
I haven't got excited yet,
我的激动还没来
but I'm sure it will hit me any moment.
但我确信随时会来
Darling, we ought to be getting back,
亲爱的 我们应该回去了
because if the car temperature gauge is right,
因为要是车里的温度表是对的
then that drizzle will turn to black ice.
那毛毛细雨会变成黑冰的
Absolute death trap. Coat stand.
完全是死亡陷阱啊 注意衣架
Mum, wait, listen. About Christmas, I've
妈 等一下 关于圣诞节
been thinking it's time I spent Christmas... Darling, darling...
我一直在想是时候我过圣诞节 亲爱的 亲爱的
I have been slaving for weeks on the Christmas chart.
为了那个圣诞图表我都做了好几周的苦工了
I've bought enough food to last until
我已经买♥♥好了够吃到
January 19th because your father thinks we might get snowed in.
1月19号♥的食物了 因为你♥爸♥觉得我们会被雪困住
I haven't done that kind of
从工党在97年选举成功
panic-buy since Labour won the election in '97.
之后我就没再做过这种恐慌大购物的事
As of yesterday, the chart
到昨天为止 那图表
includes the perfect Boxing Day ramble,
显示了最佳节礼日漫游
and a root vegetable appendix section so,
还有根茎蔬菜附录
should I die, you'll know how to make parsnip soup.
所以要是我死了 你们也会知道如何做胡萝卜汤
You don't realise what I do for this family.
你是不知道我为了这个家花了多少心血
OK, OK. Quick chop, then.
好的 好的 那你还废话
Wait, are you going out like that? No.
等一下 你就穿成这样走么 不是啊
Yes!
不是才怪
Look - Velcro magic. Might try that on your father later.
看 魔法粘啊 我一会诱惑一下你♥爸♥爸
Steady boy, steady.
淡定男 淡定
Help me! Miranda! Coming! Bye.
救救我吧 Miranda 来了 再见
Good luck.
祝你好运
Caroline has the spare, she'll be sharing with Minty.
Caroline有空房♥ 她会和Minty一起住
Beaky's taking the fold down, and Louise wants the coach house,
Beaky一直在睡折叠床 Louise很想要车房♥屋
which didn't suit Minty, who likes Freddie away from Caroline.
但是Minty不愿意 但是他想Freddie离Caroline远点
Well, you'll need another drink then.
你需要再来一杯
Which one's yours?
哪一杯是你的
So, what are your sleeping arrangements this year?
那你今年怎么安排住宿呢
Well, Stevie's staying in the spare room,
Stevie住在客房♥
and as usual, Miranda's on the shelf.
Miranda就一如既往束之高阁吧
Such fun!
真搞笑
I can't cope with this. Oh, hi, Dad. Hello, darling.
我可受不了这个 你好啊 爸爸 你好啊 亲爱的
I have just been watching The Planet's Funniest Animals.
我一直在看<动物星球之最搞笑动物视频集锦>
Hilarious. Now, this planet has some very funny animals.
可有意思了 这个星球上有好多很搞笑的动物
And I'm privileged to have seen the absolute funniest.
我有幸看到的绝对是最搞笑的
Jennifer, you remember Miranda and her friend Stevie.
Jennifer 你还记得Miranda和她的朋友Stevie么
Of course. Nibble?
当然 来点小点心不
Ah, Jennifer, now, did you drive?
Jennifer你是开车来的么
Yes. Well, you be very careful,
对啊 那你得非常小心
because if that slush freezes,
因为要是烂泥冻上了
it will turn to... Black ice.
它会变成 黑冰
Absolute... Death trap.
绝对是 死亡陷阱
Oh, Miranda, doesn't your mother have wonderful nibbles?
Miranda 你妈弄的小零食太好吃了
Not a euphemism, I hope.
希望不是委婉语
You see, no wonder she's single. Talking of which,
看到了吧 没理由不是单身啊 我得看看
I must see if the hunk I invited has arrived.
我邀请的壮汉有没有到
Oh, no. Right, that is it.
不要这样 完蛋 就这样了
I'm giving her three strikes and we're out of here. Seriously.
我给她3次机会要是她被三振出局我们马上离开 真心的
Oh, this'll help ease the pain.
这个能缓解一下内伤
We can't start it.
我们还不能吃
Remove top, remove icing! She'll never know.
拿走上面 快拿走糖霜 她永远不会知道的
Oh, yes, there he is. Miranda...
他在这 Miranda
What are you doing?
你们在做什么
Red-labelled food items are for the big day only.
红牌食物是给重大日子准备的
Oh! Lord, I've forgotten to marzipan my cake.
万能的主啊 我忘了给我的蛋糕放杏仁糖了
Someone hasn't done a Christmas chart.
某人没做圣诞图表哦