米兰达（2009）

We don't need a, what I call, assessment.
我们不需要我所谓的评估
Well, it's also what I call an assessment, isn't it?
那就是我所谓的评估 是吧
We all call it an assessment.
我们都叫它评估
An assessment is an assessment.
评估就是评估
You'd call it an assessment if you ever spoke.
你要是说话你也会叫它评估的
Ooh, I like these.
我喜欢这些
Hello, I'm the mammoth one.
你好 我是那个最大的
Hello, I'm the medium one.
你好 我是中间的
And buongiorno, I am the tiny one.
你好伐 我是最小的
Do you have a naval background?
你有没有当海军的背景
Ahar, me hearties.
老伙计
You are coming across nutty.
你越来越古怪了
I will not have him thinking that we have got problems.
我不会让他觉得我们有问题的
Look at him, poised to write in his pad. Just sit quietly.
看看他 镇定的在本子上写着什么 静静的坐着
It's not for long. Act normal.
不会太久了 表现的正常点
I was being normal.
我一直很正常
You were being a horse with a Russian doll.
你拿着俄♥罗♥斯♥套娃就把自己变成马了
I'm thirsty.
我渴了
Don't.
不要
Have some coffee.
喝点咖啡吧
Ooh, it's a very confident jet, isn't it?
多么铿锵有力的喷射 是吧
Sort of a bit like a horse weeing.
有点像马在尿尿
A horse has a very brazen wee, doesn't it?
马清脆的尿声 是吧
Sorry. Sorry.
不好意思 不好意思
Sorry.
不好意思
So...
那
Oooh, hot coffee! Hot coffee, ooh, that's really hot!
热咖啡 热咖啡 太烫了
Hot coffee in sensitive parts.
滚烫的咖啡倒在了敏感部位
And I hate a wet pant.
我讨厌湿裤子
I'm going to have to take my trousers off.
我得把裤子脱了
I'm so sorry.
真对不起
I shall use this as a sarong if I may.
如果可以 我能拿这个当围裙么
That's quite an expensive silk mix throw.
那可是块很贵的真丝毯子
Well, a pair of tough titties to you, sir.
那就奖励你一对激凸大奶 先生
I'm not wandering around in my pants.
我可不会穿着湿裤子闲逛
And if you say you'd rather that
如果你要说你宁愿让我穿着湿裤子
than me wearing your silk mix throw, then you are dirty.
也不能穿你的真丝毯子的话 那你就太下流了
Cos of the sarong.
都是围裙惹的祸
So, Miranda. Question.
Miranda 问个问题
**Tell me what you think about me*
*告诉我你是如何看待我
Just a bit of Beyonce.
Beyonce上身
Question.
提问
**Tell me what you think about this*
*告诉我你是如何看待我
Sorry, that's quite hard not to do, actually.
对不起 不唱太难了 真心的
Interesting. You seem to be avoiding the question.
有意思 看起来你是在回避问题
So, Miranda, do you often lie? No.
Miranda 你经常撒谎么 不
I just did.
我刚刚就撒了一个
You are so kind to show an interest,
你能关心我们这是太感激了
but there's nothing to discuss.
不过我们没有什么可讨论的
We're only here so we can say that we've been.
我们只是为了说我们来过
I'll pay you, of course.
我当然会付钱给你
In fact, how much do you charge?
你收我们多少钱
It's 200 pound.
200镑
200 pound?
200镑
200 pound!
你妹200英镑
200 pound?!
200英镑逆天啊
Should have gone on the NHS.
真应该去NHS
For 200 pound you should ask him why you mouth certain words.
为了这200镑你应该问问他你为啥只做口型不发声
Although usually you get them the wrong way round.
虽然你还经常弄错重点用反了
What do you mean?
你什么意思
Well, the other day at the surgery you said,
前几天在诊所 你说
"Wendy has been diagnosed OBESE." She heard.
"Wendy被确诊为肥胖症了" 她听到了
Well, you mouth words. Say sex.
你倒是不只做口型 说"性"
Sex... I can't. Psychiatrist present.
"性" 我不能 精神病医生在这呢
So is there anything you'd like like
为了充分利用时间
to talk about to make use of this time?
你还有没有其他事情想要聊一下
No, no.
没有 没有
We don't want to start talking about our childhoods.
我们不想开始讲我们的童年
Particularly Miranda's. Such an ugly baby.
尤其是Miranda的 那是相当丑的宝宝啊
Her father insisted we put the Babygros on upside down.
他爸爸坚持要把婴儿连体裤倒过来穿
Such fun.
真搞笑
Do you want to talk about that, Miranda?
你想不想聊聊这个呢 Miranda
No, no, don't want to talk childhood, "Oh,
不 不想 打死也不想讨论童年
she got rid of my dog when I was 11." Although you did.
我11岁的时候她把我的狗赶走了 虽然她真的做了
Well, it kept pooing in the house.
它一直在房♥子里大便
Only because you didn't let
那只是因为你不让她
her out regularly for what I call pooportunities.
定期出去来给我所谓排便机会
I could blame you for... Psychiatrist present.
我可以怪你 精神病专家在这呢
What's the problem? I've got an awkward itch.
又怎么了 很尴尬的瘙痒
I'm going to have to do a fast walk to get rid of it.
我得来个凌波微步摆脱它
That's got it! Sorry I was just having a little wander around.
这就好了 不好意思 我只是来个小转悠
We get people in my shop who do a little circular walk like that.
会有一些人来我们店就像这样转一圈
We like to call it the sweep browse.
我们叫它快速浏览
You know when you come in to a shop
当你走进一家商店
and you think "This isn't what I was expecting,
然后及就觉得"这和我期望的不一样
"There's nothing here that I want,
我什么都不想买♥♥
but I can't leave cos that would look rude."
但是我不能马上离开因为那样太没礼貌了"
So I have to do this sort of, "Oh, that's nice."
所以我就得来个 "这个好"
And then go. The sweep browse.
然后再离开 这就是快速浏览
Good word, browse.
多好的词啊 浏览
Browse. Yeah, she's a lovely word.
浏览 对啊 她是个多可爱的词啊
See her as a female word.
她是个雌性单词
Thrust...
插入
Male word.
雄性的
The queen of all words of course, moist.
词汇中的女王当然那是 湿润
The king of all words, plinth.
词汇之王是 擎天柱
Imagine a moist plinth.
想象一下一个湿润的擎天柱
Oh, lovely.
多美好啊
Do you think you could stop talking at some point?
你能不能不要讲话
Yes. Easy.
没问题 太简单了
No humming.
不许哼哼
No whistling.
不许吹口哨
No pretending you're singing at Wembley.
不许假装你在温布利球场高唱
What are you writing down? And about whom? Act normal!
你在写什么 关于谁 正常点
Stop saying that! I'm just standing here.
不要再这样说了 我就在这站着呢
Who does he think he is,
他以为他是谁啊
thinking that we've got problems?
觉得我们有毛病么
He's a complete ARSE. Wrong way round!
他完全是个蠢蛋 搞反了又
Go and find out what he's written.
去看看他在写什么
Good idea. Cover me.
好主意 掩护我
Me! Me! Look at me! Me.
我在这 我在这 快看我 看我
**Me and my girl*
*我和我的女孩
**Meant for each other*
*我们彼此相爱
**Sent for each other and liking it so*
*互相传递爱意
**Me and my girl*
*我和我的女孩
**No use pretending*
*不用假装
**We knew the ending a long time ago*
*很久之前我们就知道了结局
Just a bit of Noel Gay.
只是有点Noel Gay上身
I couldn't read it. It was in shorthand.
我看不懂那个 那是速写
Well, if you'd concentrated more at secretarial college.
谁让你在文秘学院那么不专心
Oh, here we go. This is the kind of thing.
又来了 这就是问题所在
I didn't want to go to secretarial college.
我根本就不想去文秘学院
You can't be happy running a joke shop.
那开家整盅商店也不会开心
Joke/gift. And yes, I am happy.
整盅和礼品 错 我就是很开心
35, running a joke shop...
35岁 经营一家整盅商店
Joke/gift! No wonder you can't get a man.
整盅和礼品 找不到男人也就有情可原了
I had a man. Nearly. Gary.
我找到过男人 基本上 Gary
But the idiot messed that up.
但是那个傻缺给搞砸了
I don't want to talk about him. I've moved on.
我不想谈论他 我已经走出来了
Is that true?
真的吗