米兰达（2009）

No, no. This is my boyfriend, we're seeing each other.
没有 没有 这是我男朋友 我们在约会
I think you should leave now.
你赶快离开这里
I think you should leave now, Tease.
我觉得你才应该走 小坏蛋
Security! Oh, role play, yeah, kinky that's what we're about.
保安 角色游戏 小变♥态♥ 我们就好这口
I'll play fugitive.
我当逃犯
OK. Chase me!
来呀 抓我呀
No, not really!
不要 我在开玩笑
Hello Florence Nightingale, how did it go?
你好啊 Florence Nightingale 进展如何
Good, yeah... I think...
挺好 对啊 我觉得
You got chucked out, didn't you? I got chucked out.
你被轰出来了 是吧 我被赶出来了
Meals on Wheels.
上门福利餐
Could you pass that on to Miranda for me, please?
能帮我把这个转交给Miranda么
I'm double parked.
我违章停车了
There's also some brochures for her to look at. See you tomorrow.
还有一些小册子让她看 明天见
These are for care homes?
这是关爱之家手册
And you've got a bus pass...
还有张你的公交卡
Oh, I see.
明白了
Born in 1914. But I was born in 1974.
1914出生 但我是1974的
See? I said your ones and sevens were incomprehensible.
看吧 我说过你写的1和7不分
They couldn't read your council tax form.
他们都分不清你写的市政纳税表
The council think I'm 96!
市政厅觉得我96了
Ooh Heather, what a marvellous "I told you so" Gift.
Heather 我早就说了吧
You'll have to ring the council.
你要给市政厅打个电♥话♥
Well, not before I've enjoyed my meal on a wheel.
等我白吃完福利饭再说
Whenever I think of meals on wheels,
每次想到上门送餐
I always think of little Yorkshire puddings on roller skates.
我总会想到旱冰鞋上的约克布丁
But you're weird. You're weird. You're weird.
因为你是怪胎 你才怪 是你怪
**What have I done today?*
*我今天做了啥
You're weird.
是你怪
You're weird.
是你怪
You're weird. You're weird.
你更怪 你最怪
You're weird. YOU'RE WEIRD!
你怪怪 你怪怪怪
You're weird. I won.
你怪的N次方 老娘赢
Are you OK? Yeah fine, yeah.
你还好吧 还好
Well, apart from the fact
除了我♥干♥不了任何好事之外
that I can't do good, won't have any kind of eulogy,
悼词也不会有什么好听的
everyone thinks I'm hopeless, even
每个人都觉得我没希望
Chris and Alison have only got me "In the running" For godmother.
Chris和Alison只把我列入教母预备役
I'll ask Gary to put in a good word for you. No, don't worry.
我让Gary替你说几句好话吧 没事 不用麻烦了
No, but listen, you godmother, Gary, godfather! Nice!
但是 听着 你是教母 Gary是教父 多有爱
You'd share a god-daughter.
你们共同拥有一个教女
Yeah, be like we're sort of god-married.
是啊 感觉我俩都奉旨成婚了
Then we could go on a goddy-moon.
然后我们就奉旨蜜月去了
It's taking it too far. Taking what too far?
想得太远了 什么太远了
Um, Clive's taking it too far.
Clive走得太远了
Um, he said to me, shall I take my dog for a walk to Prestatyn?
他问我"我要不要遛狗溜到普利斯坦丁"
And I said, no, that's taking it... Too far.
我说 不要 溜得 太远了
So I'm just going to take him to Bristol instead.
那我还是溜它到布里斯托吧
Good. Queen Kong, you been chucked out of anywhere recently?
对了 金刚娘 最近有没有被哪轰出来啊
Excuse me, busy busy for le wine tasting, le wine tasting.
不好意思 为品酒会忙屎了
Well, no excuse me excuse me, because me too,
不要不好意思 好意思 因为我也忙
me too, so am I, so am I, so I am.
我很忙 我就忙 就我忙 是我忙
I presume you are kiddingtons?
我坚信你在开玩乐
No, because,
错 因为
the only chucking out I'll be doing
只有我在为慈善募捐跳伞的时候
is out of a plane for my charity parachute jump.
我才会被从飞机上赶下来
Yes, I'm going to register to jump 10,000, 10,000 feet?!
没错 我要报名参加一万英尺 一万英尺
Ooh, whilst strapped to an instructor.
还有贴身捆绑教练
Bit of a bonus.
算是赚到了
Will there be a parachute... Big enough?
那么大的降落伞 存在么
No, seriously?
我是说真的
You can shove my parachute up your skinny amuse-bouche exit hole.
你那娇嫩欲滴的玲珑小洞准能塞的下我的降落伞
I would like to sweep out just once, Clive.
我想要一次就能闪身而出 Clive
Thank you. ...Exit hole.
谢谢 放气口
Sweeping, thank you.
起驾 谢谢
Look at my sweep-ingtons.
看看我的起风范儿
Hi, is registration still open for the parachute jump?
你好 现在还可以报名跳伞活动么
Yes, just in time. Would you like to register?
可以 时间刚好 你要报名么
No, I thought I'd come along,
不要 我只是来看看
see if you're open, and then pop home again.
还能不能报名 然后就回家
Oh, all right.
好吧
Next! No, no, I was joking.
下一个 不是 我在开玩笑
All right, um well there's a few details to fill out there.
好吧 在这填写一下你的详情
There's some medical questions as well.
还有一些医学问题
OK. Ooh, jumping out of a plane for charity.
好的 能为慈善事业跳下飞机
We could die happy tomorrow.
死而无憾了
Statistically it's very unlikely that you'll actually die.
据统计 死亡机率很小
No, I wasn't saying that you'd die on the jump,
不是 我不是说跳伞的时候死
I meant if we died, we'd feel good about ourselves.
我是说如果我们死了 我们觉得自豪
I don't think you'd feel good plummeting to your death.
我真心觉得垂直飞落摔死在地不好玩
I'm not saying you'd feel good dying,
我不是说死的过程很欢乐
I'm just, is he a little bit thick?
我只是 他是不是有点缺
Little bit thick.
有点缺心眼
I'm just saying... It doesn't matter.
我只是说 还是算了
Right, are you or could you be pregnant?
你是否已经或者可能怀孕
Well, you know, I could be.
你懂的 我会的
When did you last have intercourse?
你上次发生性行为是什么时候
Don't worry. I'm not pregnant.
不用担心 我现在没有怀孕
But it's for our insurance. I'm not.
但是我们的保险这么说了 我真没怀孕
You said you might be. I'm really not.
你刚说可能会 我真心不是
It's for our insurance. I haven't had sex for three years!
我们保险条款说了 我已经3年没做过爱了
Good.
好了
Right, I just need to see some ID.
我要看一下身份证
Oh, I'm not sure I've got anything.
我不确定是不是带了
Bus pass.
公交卡
It says here that you're 96.
上面说你96了
Our insurance company doesn't insure people over 80.
我们保险公♥司♥不为80以上老人投保
Yes, but I'm obviously not 96.
没事啊 但是很明显我不是96
That's not what it says here.
这上面不是这么写的
But I hope that's what it says here.
但是有脸看真♥相♥
How old are you? Late 20s.
你多大了 快30了
Specifically? 35.
具体点 35
So, could you please tell the insurance I'm under 80?
那你能不能告诉保险公♥司♥我不到80岁
We can't do it without ID, I'm afraid.
恐怕没有身份证不可以
Is that the instructor you get strapped to for the jump? Yeah.
那是跳伞时绑在一起的教练么 是的
Just out of interest, can you do that part without the ID?
顺便问一下 只绑在一起能不看身份证吗
You just want to do the training not the jump?
那你只是想训练
I just want to know if I
我只是想知道如果我
could strap myself tightly to... Ooh, hello!
能紧紧地绑在 你好啊
She hasn't had sex in three years.
她已经3年没有享受床上运动了
I have never liked you.
老娘一直讨厌你
Watch my sweep.
看我御风而出
I'm going to give up doing good, it keeps back firing.
我还是放弃做好事吧 一直越做越糟
1974, yes. Someone misread the one.
是1974 没错 那人错看成1了
Morning. We come bearing news.
早上好 我们带了大新闻
Gary's been telling us about your good deeds.
Gary一直跟我们说你的好人好事
And we can now reveal the
现在我们就要揭晓
person joining Gary as godparent will be...
和Gary一起胜任教父教母的是
Miranda! Oh, really? Ah, that's lovely.
Miranda 真的么 太激动了
And, there's something else.
还有其他事情
We wanted the godmother to
我们希望教母您赏光
do the honour of being my birthing partner.
做我的分娩陪护
We ran it past Gary.
我们征求了Gary的意见
That's her excited voice.
这是她兴奋的声音
No, well, hang on, what about Chris?
不 等等 那Chris呢
Well, you see we want a video of the birth.
我们想做分娩录像
I want to be down the business end really focussing on dilation.
我想全神贯注于子♥宫♥扩张
Ooh, too much information!
要不要这么详细
How amazing to witness the cervix peeling open.
看着子♥宫♥慢慢张开是多么激动啊
Just a spot-o, Kylie.
Kylie来助助兴