黄瓜（2015）

Cucumber S01E01

Part 5 Sept. 28, 2020, 3:09 p.m.

我都生不如死我只是我只是应付不来
She says it really is theft.
她说这真的是剽窃
Plagiarism is an actual crime.
抄袭也是犯罪啊
To be honest, she was terrifying.
老实说她好可怕
And I've already e-mailed your HR department.
我发了一封电子邮件给你的HR部门
I can tell you for a fact,the last time this happened,
实话跟你说上次发生这种状况
the perpetrator was sacked.
肇事者被解雇了
I went to the doctor, and my spunk isn't yellow, it's orange,
我去看了医生我的精♥液♥不是黄色的这是橙色
which means blood, which means I'm dying!
这是血液的问题意味着我就要死了
Thank you very much for laughing!
十分感谢您的笑声
Please, Henry, if you just...just tell them to stop,
求你了 Henry 如果你告诉他们你不追究
I'll never, never do it again! Please, oh, please help me!
我不会再犯了求你了求你了帮帮我
'Cause Devindra's been there for 18 months
因为Devindra来这里有18个月了
and he never stays in a position for more than two years.
而他从来没有在哪个岗位超过两年
He's just using it as a launch pad to get onto the board,
他只是把它当做一个跳板
and that puts me next in line,
我很有可能顶替他
which means, what, another 6,000 pounds a year,
知道这是什么意思不每年多六千镑
and if the expansion goes ahead, we are talking maybe 10,000,
并且如果继续扩张下去可能要来到每年一万英镑
so we could think about moving. We could move back to Hale Barns and take another look
所以我们可以考虑搬走我们可以回Hale Barns再找找看
and if you put it all together I thought...
如果你能把这些都考虑考虑我想
will you marry me?
你愿意嫁给我吗
No!
当然不行
OK.
好吧
Where did that come from?
你是怎么想的
We've never even talked about it, it's not even on the radar,
我们从未谈论过这个连一点征兆都没有
I don't actually know what you mean. Why on earth would we do that?
我真的不知道你的意思你到底想怎样
It doesn't have to be a big ceremony.
我们不用搞得太铺张啊
But why would we do it? I don't understand.
问题是我们为什么要结婚我不明白
We're happy, aren't we?Why do you want to change?
我们这样就很好不是么为什么你想要改变
Is something wrong? Is there something you're not telling me?
是不是发生了什么发生了什么你瞒着我
- No!- Well, then!
- 不是 - 那就好
- It makes sense. Financially.- Oh, that... that's terrible!
- 这是有意义的经济上的 - 那那真是太可怕了
That's no reason to get married.
那就没理由结婚了
Imagine if a straight couple said that!
想象一下如果一对异性恋夫妇这么说
So you think people should only get married out of love?
难道你认为结婚不应该是出于爱吗
Yeah!
那当然
Then...
那么
will you marry me?
你愿意嫁给我吗
It's not that... it's sort of...
这并不是它只是
- OK.- No, I'm saying...
- 好吧 - 不我是说
- I understand.- Oh, don't make a thing of it.
- 我知道了 - 别娇情了
I'm not.
我没有
I asked a question, you said no. There we are, done.
我就是问了你个问题你说不就这样
Look...
听我说
It's... it's just not there.
这不应该是这样的
In my head. It's... it's not an option.
我的想法是这这不是我想象中的结局
Never was.
从来都不是
It's not my fault they went and invented it!
这不是我的错他们发明了它
Cos I...
因为我
I knew when I was ten years old,I'm... never getting married.
我知道我是基佬的时候我才十岁我从未想过我会结婚
It's...
这
It's... never, never...
我将不会不会
... never been there.
不会达到那一步
And then you met me.
然后你遇见我
So?
所以呢
It's just something I'd like, that's all.
这只是我想的这是所有
I'd... I'd really like it. I'd... love it.
我真的很喜欢我喜欢它
I would love it.
我会喜欢它
So...
那么
will you think about it?
你会考虑考虑吗
No.
不会
The thing is that... we're fine.
重点是我们现在这样很好
I mean, we're as... good as we ever were.
我是说我们没必要改变
And it's great that we're having this... conversation.
我们能这样谈谈也是很好的
We need to look at ourselves.I've... I've been saying
看看我们自己我是我是说
I'll lose weight, and I really will, and... you could lose some too,
我会减肥的真的你也应该减减
and then we'll both be...sexy, and it'll be... fine.
然后我们都会变得性感一切都会好的
That's exactly why this is not where we should be.
这不是我们应该来的地方
Oh, come on, let's go home.
别这样我们回家吧
I'm full up. Let's get a taxi.
我好饱啊打的回去吧
It's a date.
我们今晚是在约会
A date means dancing.
约会意味着跳舞
Oh, no way!
我才不要
Look at us! They won't even let us in!
看看我们他们甚至都不让我们进去
Anyway, no-one goes clubbing now, it's all... online.
不管怎么说现在哪有人去泡吧啊什么事线上弄好就行
Henry.
Henry
Thank you!
谢谢
You OK?
你没事吧
Yep.
没事
Look at him.
看看他
Ugly fucker.
那丑逼
How much?
多少
How much would you pay him?
你付给他多少钱
For a fuck.
来干一场
Million quid.
百万英镑
He could fuck me.
他可以操♥我♥
All night.
一整晚
He'd be good. Black hair, quiff.
他还不错黑色的头发小卷毛
The one who's laughing. I'd have him. I'd have all of them.
在笑的那个我能泡到他其他人都归我了
Five boys fucking me.
五个男孩同时操♥我♥
- Brilliant. - As long as we don't have to talk to them.
- 好极了 - 只是我们没必要去打扰他们。
They're so dumb at that age.
那年纪的男生都很蠢
- We could have a threesome.- You, me and the quiffy-haired boy.
- 我们可以3P - 你我和卷头发的男孩。
Yup. All three of us.
是啊我们三个
- Would you?- What?
- 你会吗 - 什么
Threesome. Would you do it?
3P 你敢吗
Oh, yeah!
当然敢
It's just the knocking him unconscious and tying him up
我有点担心因为我们能操他的唯一办法
that worries me, cos that's the only way we'd ever get him.
就是打晕他然后绑起来
But you'd do it if we could?
但如果可以的话你会那么做的对么
Yeah. I wish!
对我希望是这样
- Everyone does it.- I know.
- 每个人都那么做 - 我知道
Steve does it. Cliff does it.
Steve那么做 Cliff也那么做
Sally does it! We should do it.
Sally也那么做我们也该那么做。
OK!
好吧
Good luck to us!
祝我们好运
Hey! You're like a cowboy!
你看起来像个牛仔
Cowboy man!
牛仔你好
Yeah... Thanks.
额谢了
Thing is, I came down from Halifax tonight,
重点是我今晚刚从哈利法克斯来
and this fucking bitch, she just left me.
有个贱婊把我扔在这里
She was standing there,chatting all this bullshit,
她刚才还在那边吹牛皮
and then she was gone,and, honestly, I don't know
突然之间就不见人了说实话我不了解
one end of Manchester from the other, so...
曼切斯特这个地方所以
do you know anywhere I could stay?
你们知道什么地方能收留我吗
There's lots of hotels,there's a million hotels.
这里有很多旅馆很多很多的旅馆
No money.
没钱
Oh, that's a problem. Sorry.
这是个问题抱歉
- You can stay at ours if you want a fuck.- Yeah, that's cool.
- 你可以跟我们一起如果你想来一炮的话 - 是啊这很棒
Seriously. We could go back to our house. No hassle, just sex.
我是说真的我们可以回家有性无爱地干一场
With the both of us. And then... you can stay the night.
和我们干一场然后你可以留下来过夜
- Is that all right, Henry?- He's a bit... off his head.
- 你看怎么样 Henry - 他有点不在状态
I'm one of the kings!
我是王呜呼
And my boyfriend. This is Henry.
还有我男友这是Henry
Was that hot?
有性致没
It was good, yeah.
还不错
Henry was just saying he wanted a threesome.
Henry刚才还说想要搞3P
And here you are!
然后你就出现了
Right, we've got drinks. What do you want?
好啦来喝一杯你们想喝什么
We've got... beer, we've got wine,we've got... vodka, we've got whisky.
我们有啤酒酒我们有伏特加威士忌
What do you think?