黄瓜（2015）

Cucumber S01E04

Part 4 Sept. 28, 2020, 3:09 p.m.

She was saving his life. I know,
她是在救他我知道
but... the whole thing was so... angry.
但是这也做得太过火了
That's what I'll never understand.
我一直想不通这一点
She stitched me back up like she was punching me.
她给我缝合的时候手劲特别大
I'd no idea it was that bad.
我没想到这么糟糕
15 years ago, now.
都是15年前的事了
And then there's this silence.
之后我就不行了
For years.
好多年
Everyone just shrugs it off.
大家都不以为意
They all say, "Oh, it's never quite the same,
都说什么 "确实会不一样
once you've given birth, down there."
毕竟生了孩子总会变的"
I'd see doctors and nurses
我去看医生护士
and they'd all say, "Oh, it's never quite the same."
他们都说 "生了孩子就会不一样"
Women. Every single woman I know, they all said,
所有女人都这么说异口同声
"Oh, it's never quite the same." Every single one of them.
"生了孩子就会不一样" 无一例外
But...then you had Molly.
可是你还生了莫莉
Oh, I was working. It was all functional.
是啊下面还能用呢
Even then, with Molly, they laid me back and had a look
当时生莫莉的时候他们让我躺下
and the doctor said, "Oh, what happened to you?"
医生看了一眼说 "你这是怎么回事"
And I explained. And they all said,
我解释了他们就又说
"Oh, it's never quite the same."
"生了孩子就会不一样"
Like that's OK. Like all that damage is natural.
我就觉得没关系这很正常
Like it's worth it.
感觉很值得
Exactly. That's the price you pay,
是的生孩子嘛
for having kids, that's the deal.
这就是要付出的代价
And then it reached the point three years ago,
可是三年前情况严重了
where I couldn't stand up without needing to piss.
我一站起来就会想小便
I mean, I didn't know,
我根本不知道
but it turns out everything was collapsing.
原来下面的器官开始出问题
And then, I saw this doctor.
后来我就去看医生
By chance, this locum, out of the blue.
偶然遇到了一位临时代理
And she was young. Thank God, she was young.
她很年轻幸亏她年轻
And she said...
她说
"What the hell have they done to you?!"
"你♥他♥妈♥是遭受了什么"
She literally said, "Oh, my God!"
她真的说了一句"上帝啊"
She looked between my legs and said, "Oh, my God!"
她张开我的双腿看了一眼说 "上帝啊"
Good for her, though.
她挺好的
Oh, absolutely!
那绝对的
She had me rebuilt.
她帮我重建了阴♥道♥
She sent me to this consultant, he said,
她给我介绍了一个咨♥询♥医生他说
"Mrs Whitaker, I can give you the vagina of a 17-year-old."
"惠特克夫人我可以让你重返17岁"
Cue many jokes.
开了很多玩笑
And it worked!
后来真的成功了
After all these years, I'm brand-new.
这么多年来我终于焕然一新了
And then I let you down.
可我让你失望了
No.
没有
No, you didn't.
你没有让我失望
Well. We didn't complete it, did we?
可是毕竟没有做完不是吗
The road test. Oh, Brian,
试驾失败了布莱恩
stop it. No, that's not your fault.
别这样这不怪你
No. I just thought I'd wait for the right man to come along.
不怪你我只是想等对的人来
And then...
可是...
I kept waiting.
一直等啊等
It's funny. My brother's got all these hang-ups about his body,
很可笑我弟弟也是对性♥爱♥很有障碍
and I thought, "I'm no better than him!"
我就想"我跟他也差不多"
So...
所以
I looked back 26 years...
我回想了这26年
and I chose that man with the really good kiss.
就选了吻技很棒的你
Oh, here we go,
天哪
it must be getting late,
你都开始夸我了
if you've started saying all nice things.
估计时间已经不早了
You can bugger off now, go on! Go home.
你可以走了去吧回家去
How's that Viagra?
可你吃了伟哥
They've got a porn channel.
宾馆总有黄♥片♥看
I'll leave you to it.
那我就不打扰了
Thank you, sweetheart. I love you.
谢谢你亲爱的我爱你
I love you, too.
我也爱你
So I'm the fucking enemy, back home.
我们那所有人都他妈看我不爽
The divorce is all my fault.
觉得离婚是我的错
I mean, I played around, I'm not denying that,
我确实挺花心这我不否认
but only because she was asleep every fucking night.
但那是因为她每天晚上都他妈只会睡觉
We had sex like, every three months.
我们三个月才能上一次床
I put an X on the calendar at work.
我会在日历上画叉
An X for every night we had sex.
每次上完我就在日历上画个叉
Four Xs in one year.
一年画了四个叉
So, you played around. Like what?
那你的花心是怎么个花法
Nothing special. Girls at work.
也没什么就勾搭女同事
Girls? Plural? Yeah.
同事好几个对
You dirty dog.
你个老色鬼
There was this one girl. Work experience.
有一个妞来培训工作经验的
Started on a Monday morning.
周一上午刚来
By ten past two in the afternoon, she was sucking me off.
下午两点十分就在给我吹♥箫♥了
No way?! Ten past two. Locked the door.
不是吧真的两点十分锁了门
On her knees, fingering herself.
跪在地上还一边摸着自己
18 years old, how was I going to say no?
才十八岁我怎么可能拒绝
Did you put it on the calendar?
你写在日历上了吗
Big fucking smiley face, mate. End of the month, 31 smiley faces.
是啊画了大笑脸整个月都画满了笑脸
"Did you put it on the calendar"
你♥他♥妈♥在逗我还写日历上
We should go to bed.
我们睡吧
Yeah.
对
Oh, I am raw. I'm fucking done in.
我醉了立马就能睡过去
Time I went home.
我该回家了
No, stay the night.
不用留下过夜吧
I'll get a taxi.
我叫出租
No, it's Saturday night, it'll take hours and I'm not waiting up.
今天是周六根本叫不到我可不想等你
Stay! I'll try Stretford Cars.
留下吧我叫叫斯特雷特福德打车
Stay the fucking night!
我他妈叫你留下
Come on, then.
过来吧
There you go.
你睡这里
But that's your bed, yeah? So?
可那是你的床吧所以呢
I'll go home.
我回家就好
Fuck's sake.
他妈的
It's a one-bedroom flat, what else are we going to do?
公♥寓♥就一张床不然能怎么办
Don't be such a girl and get in.
别跟个娘们似的睡进去
Right...
好吧
That...
我就...
is me...sorted. Don't fucking snore, I'm up at seven.
睡这里别他妈打呼噜老子七点起
But I'll sleep on the floor.
我睡地板吧
Oh, shut up!
少废话
Look, you should have the bed.
真的床你来睡吧
I can go and sleep on the settee.
我去睡沙发就行
What for? Cos it's easier.
为什么这样比较容易
What does it matter?
有什么区别吗
Look...
算了
I'll just go home.
我还是回家吧
Christ, you don't half witter.
我♥操♥ 你♥他♥妈♥话真多
Now, get to bed, you poof!
快睡吧行吗
And don't stare.
别看我
All right?
好吧
Oh! I'm the nasty one, am I?
说我下流是吧
I'm the nasty one?! Then what does that make you, Clive?
说我下流那你又算什么克莱夫
Sweetheart! Don't! You said he was hot, didn't you?
亲爱的别这样你也觉得他很性感对吧
Well, didn't you? You said it first!
难道你没说过是你先说的
Don't do this. Don't you dare...
别这样你怎么敢
Oh! Mon brave!
我的朋友[法语]
Bonsoir. Bonsoir.
晚上好[法语]
Are you all right? Ca va?
你还好吧没事吧[法语]
Oui, Ca va bien, merci, you dickhead.
我很好谢谢[法语] 你这傻♥逼♥
Zis is mon ami Henri.
这是我好朋友亨利
All right, Henry?
你好吗亨利