黄瓜（2015）

Cucumber S01E05

Part 5 Sept. 28, 2020, 3:10 p.m.

It's just the two of us? Yeah.
只有我们两个吗是的
Ok.
好
Didn't I say?
我没跟你说只有我们两个吗
I dunno. Can't we get a takeaway?
我不知道我们不能吃外卖♥♥吗
I've got steaks.
我有牛排
What, and potato dauphinoise?
还有香煎奶油千层马铃薯饼吗
It's a bit sort of...
这有点过于
sweet. I mean. For fuck.
甜蜜了就为了操一场
Have you got Sky? Yeah.
你有天空电视台吗有
Have you got movies? Yeah.
你有电影吗有
Let's just watch a film and get a Chinese.
我们就看个电影点些中餐好了
That's fine. That's great. I've got a menu in the kitchen.
好很好我厨房♥里有菜单
And...do you want a glass?
你要杯子吗
I will. I'll be civilised.
要我要文明点
Won't be long!
很快就好
OK. I can see he's handsome.
好我能看出他很帅
He's amazing.
他很棒
I get that. Be fair. I'd do him.
我理解说实话我也会上他
I'd watch.
那我要看
You dirty bastard.
你个淫♥荡♥的混♥蛋♥
I was quite old, I was 19. Is that old?
我当时很老了十九岁很老吗
Who was he?
他是谁
His name was James. It wasn't anything special.
他的名字是詹姆斯没什么特别的
This big party. A friend's house in Sale, everyone drunk -
家在塞尔的朋友开了个派对大家都喝醉了
we started out in that bedroom that's always full of coats,
我们刚开始在卧室里到处都是大衣
then we thought, "Not a good idea."
我们觉得不太好
So we found this little boxroom.
所以我们找了个小储藏室
All a bit...frantic.
一切都有那么点疯狂
No, thanks.
不谢谢
I was 14.
我当时十四
We used to go to this pub, in Denton,
我们常去丹顿的一个酒吧
it's closed now, there was a shooting.
因为发生了枪击案现在关了
You posh boys.
你们这些漂亮男孩
Yeah! Roughing it!
对哥就是这么帅
The landlord knew we were 14, he invited us in.
老板知道我们才十四他邀请我们进去的
Free drinks. After hours. I realise now.
免费的酒深更半夜我现在明白了
I didn't care - I was 14, I wanted to do it with anyone.
我不在乎我才十四岁想和所有人做
So I did it with him, in the yard.
所以我和他在院子里做了
How old was he?
他多大
30s. 35... 36...
三十多三十五六吧
An older man.
一个老男人
There's always an older man.
总是有个老男人
He'd be my age now.
他现在跟我差不多大
I'd do him again, if I saw him.
如果我看到他我还会和他做的
In his 40s?
他都四十多了
Yeah.
对
It's Friday night, we should go out on the piss, get laid.
周五晚上我们该出去喝酒找个床伴
I'm not moving! I'm full.
我不要动我撑死了
We can't just waste it!
我们不能浪费时间啊
You go out. I've had a good time, I'm fine.
你去吧我已经玩得挺开心的了不去了
It's not like she even noticed, is it?
她不会压根没注意到吧
All the signs, staring at her, not a fucking clue.
那么明显呢还什么都不知道
Who?
谁
I couldn't have been more obvious! Cathy. Catherine.
我说的还不清楚吗凯西凯瑟琳
All those times I was fucking about like crazy,
我一直就跟疯了一样在外面鬼混
my wife didn't even notice!
可我老婆压根没注意到
I mean, what the fuck was I supposed to do?!
我到底该他妈怎么做
All right. Calm down.
好了冷静点
That's nothing to do with me, OK? Why'd you ask me here?
那跟我无关好吗你为什么叫我来
Cos we're mates.
因为我们是朋友
D'you fancy me?
你喜欢我吗
Oh, don't do that. I mean it, though.
别这样我说真的
Otherwise you're not being fair. Do you fancy me?
不然不公平你喜欢我吗
It's kind of obvious, isn't it? Is that a yes?
答案不是很明显吗是吗
Yes!
是
Oh, you pussy.
你个软脚虾
Piss off!
滚
Do you ever wank over me?
你想过我手♥淫♥吗
That's enough. I fancy Jane, at work,
够了我喜欢公♥司♥的简
I toss off thinking about her,
我手♥淫♥的时候就想她
it's the most natural thing in the world.
这是世上最正常的事了
So do you? Wank? Thinking about me?
你会吗想着我手♥淫♥
Well, of course I do.
当然了
Oh, man!
天啊
It doesn't mean anything!
这又代表不了什么
What do we do? In the wank?
你想像我们在做什么
Shut up! No, what do we do?
闭嘴不我们在做什么
I dunno. We...
我不知道我们...
have a Chinese and watch a film.
吃中餐看电影
And then what?
然后呢
And then you fuck my arse, Daniel.
然后你操♥我♥屁♥股♥ 丹尼尔
You fuck me all over the house, all night long.
你在房♥间各处操♥我♥ 操一整晚
Never gonna happen.
不可能发生的
I know. Never gonna happen, mate.
我知道绝不可能发生的哥们
Why not?
为什么不
Who's gonna know?
谁会知道呢
Cos, look, you'll go home tonight and have a wank over Jane.
因为你今晚要回家想着简手♥淫♥吗
Why not have more?
为什么不再来点呢
Why not have the works?
为什么不真的操呢
Why not go all the way and have a fuck with someone
为什么不干脆破罐子破摔
who could work you like magic,
和一个操起来欲♥仙♥欲♥死♥
so you're walking around on Saturday morning, like, "Yes!"
让你周六早上起床会大喊棒的人做呢
Remember that?
记得吗
The morning after a fuck?
打过炮起床有多爽
Who doesn't want that?
谁不想要呢
You've got me hard now.
你让我硬了
What shall I do?
我该做什么
What d'you want me to do?
你想让我做什么
Don't take the piss out of me.
别拿我撒气啊
Fuck it!
该死
Stay there.
别动
No.
不
Oh, come on.
来吧
Don't.
别
I'm so hard. Fucking don't!
我硬得不行不行
Hands by your sides.
手放在旁边
I'm so hard.
我硬得不行
Hands by your sides.
手放在旁边
Yeah.
好的
Come on, then.
那来吧
What a great cock.
真是上好的大雕
Shut up.
闭嘴
That is such a good cock.
真是根上好的鸡♥巴♥
Stop it.
闭嘴
I want to suck that cock, yeah.
我真想含住那根鸡♥巴♥
Shut the fuck up...!
你♥他♥妈♥给我闭...
That'll do.
这样就好
Nice.
真棒
You happy?
高兴了吧
Is it my turn now? No way.
轮到我了吗不行
You can lick that up, you fucking dog.
你可以把那个舔干净贱狗
Oh, he was the best sex of my life.
那简直是我这辈子干得最爽的一次
You're only 24.
你才24岁
He was from Halifax.
他是哈利法克斯的
Student nurse.
护士生
It was like we just locked.
感觉我们好像心有灵犀
Y'know, like...when he's fucking you,
当他要干♥你♥时
it can take a while, at the start,
前期可能要花上那么一会儿
cos you've got to kind of...sync.
因为你会有点紧张
Not him.
而他不会