黄瓜（2015）

Cucumber S01E07

Part 2 Sept. 28, 2020, 3:10 p.m.

I ended up with Nelly on a pedalo.
我跟耐利一起上了脚踏船
You look fucking gorgeous. Oh, baby!
你今天真美谢谢亲爱的
Thank you for coming, sweetheart. I'll see you later.
谢谢你能来亲爱的回见
See you later.
回见
But what are we doing here?!
我们来这里干什么
He didn't like cricket, did he?
他生前不喜欢板球吧
No, it was Marie's idea, cos Marie didn't like using a pub,
没有是玛丽的主意她不想用酒馆
and whatever Marie says goes.
而且她一向说到做到
Elaine sends her love. She couldn't make it, she's got the kids.
伊莱恩表示哀悼她来不了要照顾孩子
Oh, yeah, I know, just look around -
我知道看看周围
there's no Elaine, there's no Max.
伊莱恩没来麦克斯没来
There's no sign of Sally and her gang.
萨利和她朋友也没来
There's no-one from Johnson's, there's no-one from Picardie's...
约翰逊家没来人皮卡第家也没来人
And I'm Cleo, we... Cos that's what happens...
我是克莱奥反正出了凶杀案
We go way back. .. When it's a murder. Apparently!
我们老交情了就会这样很显然
Everyone's too embarrassed to come.
大家都不好意思过来
They warned us with the buffet.
他们曾提醒过我们
They said, "If you're expecting 100, you'll only get 50."
他们说如果觉得会来一百位只会来五十位
This is Cleo. Thanks for coming, I'm starving.
这位是克莱奥谢谢你能来我好饿
Marie, you all right? Hi, Louis.
玛丽你还好吗路易斯你好
Thank you. Hi, Tash, how're you doing?
谢谢塔什你最近怎么样
Thanks... Thanks so much for coming. That's all right.
谢谢谢谢你能来没什么
Thanks so much for coming. Yeah.
谢谢你能来没事
It's really good of you.
你人真好
I've rediscovered cabbage.
我发现了卷心菜的新做法
It turns out if you shred it, add salt, pepper and butter,
如果绞碎加上盐胡椒和黄油
it's delicious.
会特别好吃
You only cook it for five minutes,
只需要烹饪五分钟
boil it vigorously - five minutes flat -
大火煮一下整整五分钟
then serve, because if you cook it for too long,
然后出锅就行要是煮太久
that's when it gets smelly.
就会发臭
Boil it hard, nice and fast, lid down tight.
大火煮快火煮火势要稳
like cooking a live rat!
就像煮活老鼠
I've got a girlfriend now - Kelly Hassan.
我有女朋友了凯莉·汉森
She's in Year 12.
是初三的
She'd seen me online, so we sort of hooked up.
网上看过我的视频就勾搭上了
So, poor old Tomasz, what about him, has he been dumped?
那位托马兹如何是不是被甩了
He's got a girlfriend, too.
他也有女朋友了
And her name's...Kelly Hassan.
名字叫... 凯莉·汉森
You're...both going out with the same girl? But...
你们的女朋友是一个人吗
What is that - threesome?
这算什么三人行吗
Oh, my God.
我的天哪
Nobody says that any more.
已经没人用这个词了
OK, enough.
够了别哭了
I told her.
我也说她了
Everyone's going to think she's Lance's secret daughter.
大家都会觉得她是兰斯的私生女
Well, exactly.
对啊
I just wanted to say how sorry I am.
我只是想表达一下我的沉痛
Well, how are you bearing up?
你现在感觉怎么样
Oh, um... OK, you know.
我还可以吧
Well, I don't mean to intrude, but I've got to drive back,
我不是故意这样失礼但是我得回去了
I...really can't stay.
没办法留下来
I'm Susan Driscoll.
我是苏珊·德斯科尔
I knew Lance, um... Oh, a long time ago.
我跟兰斯是旧识
I hadn't seen him for years, but...
已经很多年没见面了...
He was such a lovely man.
但他真的是个好人
I just wanted to say. He was such a lovely man.
我只想说他真的是个好人
I-I-I-it... It's OK.
好行没关系
Sorry. No. Fine.
节哀好了
I really won't keep you, I've got to go, thanks.
我不打扰你了我得走了谢谢
Oh, my God.
我的天哪
I just keep thinking, "Why?"
我一直在想 "为什么"
His heart stopped beating, Miss Babs.
他的心脏停止跳动了叽叽喳喳小姐
How are you, though, mate? I'm OK.
你还好吗兄弟我没事
Mind you, everyone thinks it's my fault. Nonsense.
顺便大家都觉得是我的错胡说
No way! No.
不可能怎么会
I'm jealous.
我好嫉妒
You're so fucking tragic, I'd love it.
你现在好悲剧我会很享受的
You can't say that!
不能这么说
We're all thinking it.
我们都这么想
It must be magnificent, having all this sympathy.
这么多人同情你你一定感觉很爽
I'd be wearing a cape.
我肯定会穿斗篷
Heads up, have you seen?
各位你们看到了吗
His name's Troy - 20, from Hull.
他叫特洛伊 20岁赫尔人
Studying Economics in MMU.
在曼彻斯特都市大学学金融
Wish me luck, I'm going in.
祝我好运我要上了
Too late.
太晚了
I scarce can take it in.
我快受不了了
I was never that good. Never.
我从未那么美过从未
Oh, come on, you were pretty once. Weren't you?
拜托你一度也是个美人是不是
Were you?
是吗
Were you?
到底是不是
Hey, hold on.
等一下
What did he say?
他说什么
He doesn't do over 21.
他不和21岁以上的人交往
Oh, it's not over.
好戏还没完
16.
No, I can't.
我不能这样
You lot can fuck off.
你们可以滚蛋了
Look, I'm so sorry. Look, take a seat here,
我真抱歉快坐下
I'm going to get you a drink, OK?
我给你拿点喝的
I thought we'd seen the last of this -
我以为我们不必再目睹
funerals at too young an age.
早夭之人的葬礼
I thought we'd...beaten it.
我以为我们已经...战胜这一切了
Well, we're headin' for 50 now.
我们现在可都是奔50的人了
It's a world of terror beyond that, boys.
除此之外世界还充满了恐怖伙计们
A world of fucking terror. It's started already.
这世界妈的太可怕了早就已经开始了
I looked at my skin this morning.
今天早上我看了一眼我的皮肤
It looked like the city of Homs.
它看起来像胡姆斯[叙利亚城市]
Tell you what, do you know the worst thing about getting old?
你知道关于变老最坏的事情是什么吗
Oh, don't, Cliff, not today.
别克利夫现在别说
Hairs. We get hairs.
毛发我们开始长毛发
That's nothing new, we all get hairs.
又不是什么新鲜事儿我们都有
No, I mean hairs on your cock.
不是我说的是你鸡♥巴♥上的毛
Not the base, but on the shaft, like, halfway down.
不是底部的是把儿上的中间的
Sticking out the middle like a...branch on a mug tree.
从中间伸出来就像傻了吧唧的树的枝条
And the older you get, the more they sprout -
而且你越老它们就越茂盛
sticking right out of your cock.
就长在你鸡♥巴♥上
And they're long and they grow fast, like a bolted lettuce.
它们很长还茁壮成长就像长在上面的莴苣
They just appear, out of nowhere, overnight, bang!
它们就这么没来由地出现突然就出来了
Cock hairs.
鸡♥巴♥毛
Halfway down. Protruding!
中间的突出的
It's hard to see when it's nestling.
在它萌芽的时候很难看见
Isn't it different with us, though?
可是我们的情况不一样
Well, I'm perfectly trim, years of maintenance gone into this.
我可是一直悉心修剪年复一年地保养
I don't believe it's possible,
我不觉得这可能发生
the shaft has no capacity for hair.
把儿上没有能容纳毛的地方
Oh, Christ almighty...
我滴神哪
What? What is it? You bastards.
什么什么你个混♥蛋♥
Come on, Raymond. Come on!
出来雷蒙德快出来
It's just a stray hair, isn't it?
不过是一根孤独的毛发而已
Give it a pull.
拔一下
You...
你们这群
fuckers!
王八蛋
Oh, Raymond,
雷蒙德
Oh, don't worry, mate.
伙计你别着急
You all right?
你没事吧
I'm fine, I'm just... Oh, yeah.
我没事我只是... 好的
What?
怎么了
I feel as if I've eaten too many eggs.
我觉得就好像我吃了太多蛋
Everybody wants to see me cry.