黄瓜（2015）

Cucumber S01E04

Part 5 Sept. 28, 2020, 3:09 p.m.

Tres bien.
很好[法语]
You've picked up the lingo. How did you end up with this nutter?
这家伙很懂嘛你怎么看上这疯子的
I just got lucky.
我只是运气好
I'm Leigh. That's Charlie. That's Essex,
我是利那是查利那是艾塞克斯
Maypole, Dickie, Bob. I don't know who he is.
美珀迪基鲍勃不知他是谁
Nice to meet you.
很高兴见到你
You owe me, Rupert, you're buying!
你欠我的鲁珀特你买♥♥单
I will honour ze Charlie boy wiz the pommes frites!
我只给小查利买♥♥炸薯条
Et un burger!
和一个汉堡
Do you want anything?
你想要什么
No, I'm fine, thanks. OK.
不用了谢谢
I've got a little something. I kept a little something back.
我有一点小东西我留下了一点小东西
**Just for you! Lookin' fabulous!*
*只为你看上去难以置信
Henri, zey have changed their minds,
亨利他们改变主意了
zey desire ze Chinese instead,
他们想去吃中国菜
do you want to come, mon ami?
你想一起去吗哥们
No, I'm fine. Vous etes sur?
不了你要留在这吗
Absolument.
必须的
Thanks, yeah?
谢谢
See you around.
再见
Hey, hey, mes amis, mes amis, wait for me!
兄弟们等等我
He say, "All for one and one for all."
他说人人为我我为人人
What kind of musketeer bullshit is zis?
这是什么鬼话
I don't like Chinese.
我不喜欢中国菜
Do you mind, can I sit with you?
你介意我跟你坐在一起吗
Oh, I was just going to go.
我刚要走
Oh, don't leave me on my own. I'm only having chips.
别把我一个人留在这我就吃个薯条
You sure you don't want anything?
你确定你什么都不要
No. Honestly.
不要真的
OK, er, I'll have a coffee.
好吧给我来杯咖啡
Black.
黑咖啡
Coffee it is. Look after that.
咖啡马上来帮我看一下包
Only me.
是我
Party was shit.
派对是坨屎
Who is your friend?
那是谁
Tomasz.
托马斯
OK. Night, then.
好吧那晚安
You bastard! You fucking bastard! Are you happy now?
你这杂种狗♥杂♥种♥ 你现在开心了
Are you? You've fucking ruined my relationship.
开心吗你♥他♥妈♥把我对象搞跑了
You fucking bastard!
你这狗♥杂♥种♥
I copped off with this bloke, once.
我跟他约过一次炮
And he pissed in the bed.
他在床上尿尿
I-I don't mean he wet himself.
他不是尿在自己身上
I mean he stood up and had a proper piss.
他站起来大撒特撒
Then got back down and went to sleep. Lying there!
然后回来接着睡躺在那里
Oh, my God!
天哪
And I still fancied him.
可我还是很喜欢他
I had this one bloke...
我曾经跟这家伙好过
He ran away.
后来他跑了
He actually ran.
真的是跑了
I got him back to mine, I went for a piss,
我把他找回来撒个尿的功夫
I heard the front door go,
我听到前门响了
I looked outside and I saw him running down the street.
往外一看他顺着马路在跑
Did he take anything? No.
他拿走什么了吗没有
That was the point.
这才是重点
I ran back down, thinking, "Oh, my wallet! It's gone!"
我跑回来心想我的钱包没了
No, it was still there.
不它还在
It would have been better if he'd nicked it.
要是他偷了我的钱还算好的呢
He was just running away from me!
他只是想离开我
That's brilliant.
太精彩了
Actually running.
竟然跑了
I thought I'd finished with all this.
我还以为我再也不用这样了
Battling through shit,
明明是个弯的
just to end up with crabs and chlamydia.
结果还是得和阴虱和衣原体打交道
Hey, now, don't turn me on with your sexy talk.
别拿这种荤段子挑逗我
How old are you?
你多大了
40. What about you?
40岁你呢
46.
46岁
Are you too young?
你是不是太年轻了
Cos...
因为
back in the '80s, if I had a one-night stand
在八十年代如果我有一♥夜♥情♥
and then, a couple of days later,
几天后
I'd get a bruise on my leg or something...
我的腿上或别的地方就会有淤青
No, and me, that was the '90s, too.
不九十年代的时候我也是这样
You'd think you were going to die?
你会觉得自己是不是快死了
Oh, yeah. That was terrifying.
对那种感觉太糟了
Walking around for days, thinking...
每天都在想
"I'm dead."
我要死了
As if sex isn't scary enough.
好像性还不够可怕似的
We grew up with that.
我们都是这么成长的
Those fucking icebergs.
那些冷漠的混♥蛋♥
Still...
但是
some of those nights can be good.
总有一些夜晚是美好的
Ok...
好吧
Sorry.
抱歉
That was kind of cheesy, yeah?
那也是一种乐趣不是吗
You shouldn't bother with me.
你不该为我费心
Really. Seriously. Fuck off.
真的去他妈的
I've told those stories for years.
那些故事我讲了好几年
The man who pissed the bed.
那个在床上尿尿的人
The man who nicked my computer.
那个偷走我电脑的人
The Canadian.
那个加拿大人
And the punchline was...
重点是
...Men are mad. That's what I'd say - men are mad.
男人都疯了我要说男人都疯了
But it wasn't them, it was me.
但疯的不是他们是我
I was the mad one.
我才是那个疯子
It's like tonight, with Rupert.
就像今晚和鲁珀特在一起
Well, Rupert is mad.
鲁珀特是个疯子
I know, but...
我知道但
he's nice, isn't he?
他很好不是吗
Oh, I think he's hot, yeah.
我觉得他很性感
He was lovely.
他很可爱
All that daft French and everything.
他的一切都那么可爱包括他的法国腔
I really liked him.
我真的很喜欢他
So I got rid of him.
所以我摆脱了他
W-What do you mean?
你什么意思
I spend all this time wanting sex.
我每时每刻都想跟人做♥爱♥
All the time. Every day.
每时每刻每一天都想
And then I push it away.
然后我又把它推开
I'm there, with Rupert...
我在那儿和鲁珀特一起
And I'm horny.
我太饥渴了
And at exactly the same time,
就在同时
I'm working out all these...
我用尽所有这些
...Strategies...
策略
to get away from him.
去摆脱他
To escape the sex.
逃离性♥欲♥
I swear, I can be so happy not having sex.
我发誓如果没有性我会很快乐
Why's that?
为什么
I suppose...
我想
All those men, it's like...
所有那些男人好像是
I created the circumstances to get rid of them.
我总是会借故摆脱他们
Even while I was horny as fuck.
尽管我在做♥爱♥的时候很淫♥荡♥
Y-You didn't make a man piss
你都不让人尿尿
Huh, no. But still...
不但我仍然
I chose him.
我还是会选择他们
I found a man drunk enough to piss.
我找到了一个喝到快尿裤子的人
You said you had that boyfriend.
你说你有个男朋友
And I got rid of him, too.
然后我也摆脱了他
Took a long while,
虽然恋爱了很久
but then...
但之后...